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4 <title>The Quote Farm</title>
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11 <p align="center"><b><font size="4">The Quote Farm</font></b></p>
12 <hr>
13 <p>Each chapter of the book (a work in progress) begins with a quote.&nbsp; The
14 web page is a staging area for quotes that might potentially be used.&nbsp; The
15 Quote Farm was previously an appendix in the book, but it was removed and placed
16 here, since it will not appear in final revisions of the book.</p>
17 <hr>
18 <p><b><u>Bookmarks (To This Page)</u></b></p>
19 <ul>
20 <li><a href="#attractiveness_female">Attractiveness, Female</a></li>
21 <li><a href="#aviation_and_space" target="_self">Aviation And Space</a></li>
22 <li><a href="#beer" target="_self">Beer</a></li>
23 <li><a href="#capitalism" target="_self">Capitalism</a></li>
24 <li><a href="#celeb_beaut_pag_cont" target="_self">Celebrities, Beauty Pageant
25 Contestants</a></li>
26 <li><a href="#celebrities_brooke_shields" target="_self">Celebrities, Brooke
27 Shields</a></li>
28 <li><a href="#celebrities_mariah_carey" target="_self">Celebrities, Mariah
29 Carey</a></li>
30 <li><a href="#censorship" target="_self">Censorship</a></li>
31 <li><a href="#computers_and_computing" target="_self">Computers And Computing</a></li>
32 <li><a href="#courage" target="_self">Courage</a></li>
33 <li><a href="#freedom_and_civil_liberties" target="_self">Freedom And Civil
34 Liberties</a></li>
35 <li><a href="#general_humor" target="_self">General Humor</a></li>
36 <li><a href="#hard_work" target="_self">Hard Work</a></li>
37 <li><a href="#hum_nat_soc_int" target="_self">Human Nature And Social
38 Interactions</a></li>
39 <li><a href="#histfig_napoleon" target="_self">Historical Figures, Napoleon</a></li>
40 <li><a href="#marriage_fav_manview" target="_self">Marriage (Favorable, From The Man's Point Of
41 View)</a></li>
42 <li><a href="#marriage_unfav_genderless" target="_self">Marriage (Unfavorable,
43 Genderless)</a></li>
44 <li><a href="#marriage_unfav_manview" target="_self">Marriage (Unfavorable, From The Man's Point Of
45 View)</a></li>
46 <li><a href="#microsoft" target="_self">Microsoft</a></li>
47 <li><a href="#old_age" target="_self">Old Age</a></li>
48 <li><a href="#pets_cats" target="_self">Pets, Cats</a></li>
49 <li><a href="#philo_aristotle" target="_self">Philosophers, Aristotle</a></li>
50 <li><a href="#philo_henry_david_thoreau" target="_self">Philosophers, Henry David
51 Thoreau</a></li>
52 <li><a href="#police_and_law_enforcement" target="_self">Police And Law
53 Enforcement</a></li>
54 <li><a href="#politfig_winston_churchill" target="_self">Political Figures, Winston
55 Churchill</a></li>
56 <li><a href="#polit_fig_bill_hilary_clinton" target="_self">Political Figures, Bill And Hilary
57 Clinton</a></li>
58 <li><a href="#politfig_al_gore" target="_self">Political Figures, Al Gore</a></li>
59 <li><a href="#politfig_henry_kissinger" target="_self">Political Figures, Henry
60 Kissinger</a></li>
61 <li><a href="#politfig_colin_powell" target="_self">Political Figures, Colin
62 Powell</a></li>
63 <li><a href="#politfig_dan_quayle" target="_self">Political Figures, Dan
64 Quayle</a></li>
65 <li><a href="#politfig_ronald_reagan" target="_self">Political Figures, Ronald
66 Reagan</a></li>
67 <li><a href="#polit_polit_doubletalk" target="_self">Politics, Political Doubletalk,
68 Doubletalk</a></li>
69 <li><a href="#religion" target="_self">Religion</a></li>
70 <li><a href="#sci_mat_marie_curie" target="_self">Scientists And Mathematicians, Marie
71 Curie</a></li>
72 <li><a href="#sci_mat_edsger_dijkstra" target="_self">Scientists And Mathematicians, Edsger
73 Dijkstra</a></li>
74 <li><a href="#sci_mat_albert_einstein" target="_self">Scientists And Mathematicians, Albert
75 Einstein</a></li>
76 <li><a href="#sci_mat_gh_hardy" target="_self">Scientists And Mathematicians,
77 G.H. Hardy</a></li>
78 <li><a href="#sci_mat_james_s_harris" target="_self">Scientists And Mathematicians, James S.
79 Harris</a></li>
80 <li><a href="#sci_mat_bertrand_russell" target="_self">Scientists And Mathematicians, Bertrand
81 Russell</a></li>
82 <li><a href="#sci_mat_carl_sagan" target="_self">Scientists And Mathematicians, Carl
83 Sagan</a></li>
84 <li><a href="#software_software_engineering_etc" target="_self">Software, Software Engineering,
85 Etc.</a></li>
86 <li><a href="#sports_and_sports_figures" target="_self">Sports And Sports
87 Figures</a></li>
88 <li><a href="#unpl_wk_sit_bad_bosses_etc" target="_self">Unpleasant Work Situations, Bad Bosses,
89 Etc.</a></li>
90 <li><a href="#acknowledgements" target="_self">Acknowledgements</a></li>
91 </ul>
92 <hr>
93 <p><b><u><a name="attractiveness_female"></a>Attractiveness, Female</u></b></p>
94 <ul>
95 <li>&quot;She's got what I call bobsled looks: going downhill fast.&quot;--Craig Nova</li>
96 </ul>
97 <hr>
98 <p><b><u><a name="aviation_and_space"></a>Aviation And Space</u></b></p>
99 <ul>
100 <li>&quot;A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away.&nbsp; A
101 'great'
102 landing is one after which they can use the plane again."--Rules of the Air,
103 #8&nbsp; (This quote appeared in the signature of an e-mail by <a href="mailto:benny@bennyvision.com"> Chris
104 Bensend</a>. Chris was careful to point
105 out in subsequent correspondence that he was not the originator of the quote,
106 and is not sure where it comes from.)</li>
107 <li>&quot;A complex system has complex failure modes.&quot;--John J. Nance, ABC
108 aviation correspondent, commenting on February 1, 2003 on the loss of the space
109 shuttle <i>Columbia</i>.</li>
110 </ul>
111 <hr>
112 <p><b><u><a name="beer"></a>Beer</u></b></p>
113 <ul>
114 <li>&quot;He was a wise man who invented beer.&quot;--Plato</li>
115 <li>&quot;Work is the curse of the drinking class.&quot;--Oscar Wilde</li>
116 <li>&quot;Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be
117 happy.&quot;--Benjamin Franklin</li>
118 <li>&quot;If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it
119 makes beer shoot out your nose.&quot;--Deep Thought, Jack Handy</li>
120 <li>&quot;Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is
121 beer.&nbsp; Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel
122 does not go nearly as well with pizza.&quot;--Dave Barry</li>
123 <li>&quot;People who drink light 'beer' don't like the taste of beer; they just
124 like to pee a lot.&quot;--Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI</li>
125 <li>&quot;Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the
126 world.&quot;--Kaiser Wilhelm</li>
127 <li>&quot;Not all chemicals are bad.&nbsp; Without chemicals such as hydrogen and
128 oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in
129 beer.&quot;--Dave Barry</li>
130 <li>&quot;I drink to make other people interesting.&quot;--George Jean Nathan</li>
131 <li>&quot;They who drink beer will think beer.&quot;--Washington Irving</li>
132 <li>&quot;All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me so let's
133 just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.&quot;--Homer Simpson</li>
134 <li>&quot;A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank
135 her.&quot;--W.C. Fields</li>
136 </ul>
137 <hr>
138 <p><b><u><a name="capitalism"></a>Capitalism</u></b></p>
139 <ul>
140 <li>&quot;Companies come and go.&nbsp; It's ... part of the genius of
141 capitalism.&quot;--U.S. Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neill, in January of 2002, in
142 response to the bankruptcy filing by Enron</li>
143 <li>&quot;I've watched lots of corporations come and go.&nbsp; ... There are
144 very few companies that have been around for 40 or 50 years.&nbsp; ... Companies
145 come and go.&nbsp; It's part of the genius of capitalism.&nbsp; People get to make good
146 decisions or bad decisions, and they get to pay the consequences or to enjoy the
147 fruits of their decisions.&nbsp; That's the way the system works.&quot;--U.S. Treasury
148 Secretary Paul O'Neill, in January of 2002, in response to the bankruptcy filing
149 by Enron</li>
150 <li>&quot;I didn't think this was worthy of me running across the street and
151 telling the president.&nbsp; I don't go across the street and tell the president every
152 time somebody calls me.&quot;--U.S. Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neill, in January of
153 2002, defending his decision not to advise President Bush of Enron's financial
154 difficulties</li>
155 <li>&quot;... unless there's an issue related to the company that reaches
156 to public responsibility ... in the American capitalist system, companies
157 are responsible for their actions ...&nbsp; The company had a duty to inform its
158 shareholders and its employees about things that were going on inside the
159 company.&nbsp; That's not a federal government responsibility."--U.S. Treasury
160 Secretary Paul O'Neill, in January of 2002, defending his decision not to take
161 any federal action to help Enron as its stock price collapsed and it was forced
162 into bankruptcy</li>
163 </ul>
164 <hr>
165 <p><b><u><a name="celeb_beaut_pag_cont"></a>Celebrities, Beauty Pageant
166 Contestants</u></b></p>
167 <ul>
168 <li><b>Question:</b>&nbsp; &quot;If you could live forever, would you and why?&quot;&nbsp;
169 <b>Answer:</b>&nbsp; &quot;I
170 would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were
171 supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live
172 forever, which is why I would not live forever&quot;--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss
173 USA contest</li>
174 </ul>
175 <hr>
176 <p><b><u><a name="celebrities_brooke_shields"></a>Celebrities, Brooke Shields</u></b></p>
177 <ul>
178 <li>&quot;Smoking kills.&nbsp; If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of
179 your life.&quot;--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a
180 federal anti-smoking campaign.</li>
181 </ul>
182 <hr>
183 <p><b><u><a name="celebrities_mariah_carey"></a>Celebrities, Mariah Carey</u></b></p>
184 <ul>
185 <li>&quot;Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the
186 world, I can't help but cry.&nbsp; I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with
187 all those flies and death and stuff.&quot;--Mariah Carey</li>
188 </ul>
189 <hr>
190 <p><b><u><a name="censorship"></a>Censorship</u></b></p>
191 <ul>
192 <li>&quot;Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public
193 mind.&quot;--General William Westmoreland</li>
194 </ul>
195 <hr>
196 <p><b><u><a name="computers_and_computing"></a>Computers And Computing</u></b></p>
197 <ul>
198 <li>&quot;A computer lets you make mistakes faster than any other invention,
199 with the possible exception of handguns and Tequila.&quot;--Mitch Ratcliffe, as
200 quoted by <a href="mailto:bryanp@visi.com"> Bryan Packer</a></li>
201 <li>&quot;Programming, an artform that fights back.&quot;--<a href="mailto:adiaz@msi.net.ph">Anuerin G. Diaz</a></li>
202 <li>&quot;A distributed system is one in which the failure of a computer you
203 didn't even know existed can render your own computer unusable.&quot;--Les
204 Lamport, s
205 quoted in newsgroup post by <a href="mailto:rick@ox.compsoc.net"> Richard Heylen</a></li>
206 <li>&quot;Every program has at least one bug and can be reduced by at least one
207 line.&nbsp; By induction, then, every program can be reduced to a single instruction,
208 and that will be wrong.&quot;--From a newsgroup post by <a href="mailto:iddw@hotmail.com"> Dave Hansen</a>
209 in April 2003</li>
210
211 <li>
212
213 &quot;
214
215 I invented the term 'Object Oriented' and I can tell you that I did not have C++ in mind.&quot;-- Alan Kay
216 </li>
217
218 <li>
219
220 &quot;
221
222 Claiming Java is easier than C++ is like saying K2 is shorter than Everest.&quot;-- Larry O'Brien, editor
223 <i> Software Development</i>
224 </li>
225
226 <li>
227
228 &quot;
229
230 A lot of people 'think' they understand C, but it is not only stranger than they imagine, it is stranger than they
231 'can' imagine.&quot;-- Richard A. O'Keefe
232 </li>
233
234 <li>
235
236 &quot;
237
238 C is its own virus.&quot;-- Miguel Gallo
239 </li>
240
241 <li>
242
243 &quot;
244
245 C gives you all the power of assembler ... along with the portability of assembler!&quot;--Unknown
246 </li>
247
248 <li>
249
250 &quot;
251
252 Java is a very popular language-- surprisingly popular considering it doesn't seem to have learnt the lessons of Simula 67.&quot;-- Malcolm Atkinson
253 </li>
254
255 <li>
256
257 &quot;
258
259 The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from.&quot;-- Andrew S. Tanenbaum
260 </li>
261
262 <li>
263
264 &quot;The debate over computer-assisted proofs is the high-end version of
265 arguments over using calculators in math classes—whether technology spurs
266 greater achievements by speeding rote calculations or deprives people of
267 fundamentals.&quot;--From an April 6, 2004 article in the New York Times (Web
268 Edition) entitled, &quot;<i>In Math, Computers Don't Lie.&nbsp; Or Do They</i>&quot;,
269 by Kenneth Chang
270 </li>
271
272 </ul>
273 <hr>
274 <p><b><u><a name="courage"></a>Courage</u></b></p>
275 <ul>
276 <li>&quot;Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities ...
277 because it is the quality which guarantees all others.&quot;--Winston Churchill</li>
278 <li>&quot;The desire for safety stands against every great and noble
279 enterprise.&quot;--Tacitus, Roman historian</li>
280 <li>"One man with courage makes a majority."--Andrew Jackson</li>
281 <li>"What separates the winners from the losers is how a person reacts to
282 each new twist of fate."--Donald Trump</li>
283 <li>"No captain can do very wrong if he places his ship alongside that of
284 the enemy."--Admiral Horatio Nelson</li>
285 <li>&quot;[Admiral Nelson's counsel] guided me time and again.&nbsp; On the eve of
286 the critical battle of Santa Cruz, in which the Japanese ships outnumbered ours
287 more than two to one, I sent my task force commanders this dispatch: <i>ATTACK
288 REPEAT ATTACK</i>.&nbsp; They did attack, heroically, and when the battle was done, the
289 enemy turned away.&nbsp; All problems, personal, national, or combat, become smaller
290 if you don't dodge them, but confront them.&nbsp; Touch a thistle timidly, and it
291 pricks you; grasp it boldly, and its spines crumble.&nbsp; Carry the battle to the
292 enemy!&nbsp; Lay your ship alongside his!&quot;--Admiral William 'Bull' Halsey</li>
293 <li>&quot;Never forget that no military leader has ever become great without
294 audacity.&quot;--Karl von Clausewitz</li>
295 </ul>
296 <hr>
297 <p><b><u><a name="freedom_and_civil_liberties"></a>Freedom And Civil Liberties</u></b></p>
298 <ul>
299 <li>&quot;First they came for the political activists, and I didn't defend
300 them, because I wasn't an activist.&nbsp; Then they came for the gun owners, and I
301 didn't defend them, because I wasn't a gun owner.&nbsp; Then they came for the writers
302 and philosophers, and I didn't defend them, because I wasn't a writer or
303 philosopher.&nbsp; Then they came for me, and there was nobody left to defend
304 me.&quot;--Unknown</li>
305 <li>&quot;Those who would trade personal liberties in the name of security
306 shall have neither.&quot;--Ben Franklin</li>
307 <li>&quot;We've been singing the same song in this country for more than 200
308 years.&nbsp; It's a very good song, and I want to keep singing it.&nbsp; I'm very leery of
309 changing the lyrics.&quot;--Art Babbott, Flagstaff, Arizona City Council member,
310 who sponsored the December, 2002 resolution in Flagstaff urging federal
311 authorities to respect citizens' civil rights when fighting terrorism</li>
312 </ul>
313 <hr>
314 <p><b><u><a name="general_humor"></a>General Humor</u></b></p>
315 <ul>
316 <li>&quot;I hope I don't sound like an old-fashioned stick-in-the-mud, but when
317 I hear about people making vast fortunes without doing any productive work or
318 contributing anything to society, my reaction is: 'How can I get in on
319 that?'&quot;--Dave Barry</li>
320 <li>&quot;I may seem more arrogant, but I think that's just because you didn't
321 realize how arrogant I was before.&quot;--Jeffrey Hobbs, Tcl Ambassador, Ajuba
322 Solutions</li>
323 <li>&quot;Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same
324 reactions in the brain as marijuana.&nbsp; The researchers also discovered other
325 similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are.&quot;--Matt Lauer
326 on NBC's <i>Today</i> show</li>
327 <li>&quot;Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.&quot;--Gloria
328 Steinem.</li>
329 <li>&quot;I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from
330 them.&nbsp; There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians
331 were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves.&quot;--John Wayne</li>
332 <li>&quot;Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we
333 received notice that you passed away.&nbsp; May God bless you.&nbsp; You may reapply if
334 there is a change in your circumstances.&quot;--Department of Social Services,
335 Greenville, South Carolina</li>
336 <li>&quot;We apologize for the error in last week's paper in which we stated
337 that Mr. Arnold Dogbody was a defective in the police force.&nbsp; We meant, of
338 course, that Mr. Dogbody is a detective in the police farce.&quot;--Correction
339 Notice in the Ely Standard, a British newspaper</li>
340 <li>&quot;If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as
341 they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night.&nbsp; And the
342 next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record.&quot;--Mark S. Fowler,
343 FCC Chairman</li>
344 <li>&quot;Although small, silky sharks are bad news.&nbsp; They're nervous, they're
345 aggressive, and there's lots of them.&quot;--<i>Sharks In The Golden Triangle</i>,
346 CBC.</li>
347 <li>&quot;People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's
348 safer to harrass rich women than motorcycle gangs.&quot;--from a rubber stamp
349 purchased at <i>Chestnut Creek, Inc.</i> in Dearborn, Michigan, USA.</li>
350 <li>&quot;Theory may inform, but Practice convinces.&quot;--George Bain.</li>
351 <li>&quot;I used to be disgusted, now I find I'm just amused.&quot;--Elvis
352 Costello.</li>
353 <li>&quot;Heroic people have heroic flaws.&quot;--Unknown</li>
354 <li>&quot;The reason I rob banks is 'cause that's where the money
355 is.&quot;--Willie Sutton</li>
356 <li>&quot;A lot of you are making security products that are an attractive
357 nuisance.&nbsp; Shame on you.&nbsp; I want you to grow up.&nbsp; I want functions and assurances
358 in security devices.&nbsp; We do not beta test on customers.&nbsp; If my product fails,
359 someone might die.&quot;--Brian Snow, of the National Security Agency's Information
360 Systems Security Organization, speaking at the Black Hat Briefings security
361 conference</li>
362 <li>&quot;There are three kinds of people: the ones that learn by reading, the
363 few who learn by observation, and the rest of them who have to touch the fire to
364 see for themselves if it's really hot.&quot;--Unknown</li>
365 <li>&quot;A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into
366 theorems.&quot;--Paul Erdos</li>
367 <li>&quot;A person needs only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape.&nbsp; If it doesn't
368 move and it should, use the WD-40.&nbsp; If it moves and it shouldn't, use the
369 tape.&quot;--Unknown</li>
370 <li>&quot;Fame is vapor, popularity is an accident, riches take wings.&nbsp; Only one
371 thing endures and that is character.&quot;--Horace Greeley</li>
372 <li>&quot;My mother is such an alarmist, always worried!&nbsp; One little cough, and
373 she thinks I have pneumonia.&nbsp; One little headache, and she is sure that I have a
374 brain tumor.&nbsp; One little lie, and she thinks I am destined to be president
375 ... .&quot;--Unknown</li>
376 <li>&quot;Stupidity is a renewable resource.&quot;--Unknown</li>
377 <li>&quot;Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking
378 about.&quot;--Unknown</li>
379 <li>&quot;A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the
380 support of Paul.&quot;--G. B. Shaw</li>
381 <li>&quot;All human beings should try to learn before they die what they are
382 running from, and to, and why.&quot;--James Thurber</li>
383 <li>&quot;It is with rivers as it is with people: the greatest are not the most
384 agreeable nor the best to live with.&quot;--Henry van Dyke</li>
385 <li>&quot;Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow that
386 talent to the dark place where it leads.&quot;--Erica Jong</li>
387 <li>&quot;A government that is big enough to give you all you want is big
388 enough to take it all away.&quot;--Barry Goldwater</li>
389 <li>&quot;If a hole is in the wrong place, then no amount of digging is going
390 to put it in the right place.&quot;--Edward de Bono</li>
391 <li>&quot;Misers aren't fun to live with, but they make wonderful
392 ancestors.&quot;--David Brenner</li>
393 <li>&quot;One way to prevent progress is by arguing that any first step is
394 unfair to somebody.&quot;--Unknown</li>
395 <li>&quot;People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't
396 realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.&quot;--Calvin
397 (&amp; Hobbes)</li>
398 <li>&quot;Montreal winters are an intelligence test, and we who are here have
399 failed it.&quot;--Doug Camilli</li>
400 <li>&quot;Growing up, my mom always claimed to feel bad when a bird would slam
401 head-first into our living room window.&nbsp; If she <i>really</i> felt bad, though,
402 she'd have moved the bird feeder outside.&quot;--Rich Johnson</li>
403 <li>&quot;I realize that there are certain hardships that only females must
404 endure, such as childbirth, waiting in lines for public-restroom stalls, and a
405 crippling, psychotic obsession with shoe color.&nbsp; Also, females tend to reach
406 emotional maturity very quickly, so that by age 7 they are no longer capable of
407 seeing the humor in loud inadvertent public blasts of flatulence, whereas males
408 can continue to derive vast enjoyment from this well into their 80s.&quot;--Dave
409 Barry</li>
410 <li>"Disease generally begins that equality which death completes; the
411 distinctions which set one man so much above another are very little perceived
412 in the gloom of a sick chamber, where it will be vain to expect entertainment
413 from the gay, or instruction from the wise; where all human glory is
414 obliterated, the wit is clouded, the reasoner perplexed, and the hero subdued;
415 where the highest and brightest of mortal beings finds nothing left him but the
416 consciousness of innocence."--Samuel Johnson</li>
417 <li>"More and more, our relationship with the industrial food industry
418 begins to resemble the one it has with its chickens, pigs and cows.&nbsp; In exchange
419 for zero responsibility, we get zero control."--Kalle Lasn, <i>Culture Jam</i></li>
420 <li>"Es ist ein Bluff.&nbsp; Sie können Autos und Kühlschränke
421 bauen, aber keine Flugzeuge!"--Hermann Göring im Jahre 1941 über
422 die industriellen Fähigkeiten der U.S.A</li>
423 <li>"There's no such thing as a <i>pretty good</i> alligator wrestler."--Original source unknown:&nbsp;
424 reprinted in February 2001 Scientific
425 American, Steve Mirsky's column</li>
426 <li>"I'd rather work with someone who's good at their job but doesn't like
427 me, than someone who likes me but is a ninny."--Sam Donaldson, as reproduced
428 in the July 2001 <i>Reader's Digest</i></li>
429 <li>"Pain is candy for the focused mind."--Agent Bobby Hobbes (actor
430 Paul Ben-Victor) in <i>The Invisible Man</i>, air date July 27, 2001 on the
431 Sci-Fi Channel</li>
432 <li>
433 "The greatest tragedy in mankind's entire history may be the hijacking
434 of morality by religion.&nbsp; However valuable--even necessary--that may have been
435 in enforcing good behavior on primitive peoples, their association is now
436 counterproductive.&nbsp; Yet at the very moment when they should be decoupled,
437 sanctimonious nitwits are calling for a return to morals based on superstition."--Arthur C. Clarke</li>
438 <li>
439 "The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content."--Unknown
440 </li>
441 <li>
442 "I live in my own little world.&nbsp; But it's ok...they know me here. "--Unknown
443 </li>
444 <li>
445 "I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Implants?"'--Unknown
446 </li>
447 <li>
448 "I don't do drugs anymore 'cause I find I get the same effect just
449 standing up really fast."--Unknown
450 </li>
451 <li>
452 "Sign In Pet Store:&nbsp; 'Buy one dog, get one flea ..."--Unknown
453 </li>
454 <li>
455 "Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with."--Unknown
456 </li>
457 <li>
458 "I got a sweater for Christmas ... I wanted a screamer or a moaner."--Unknown
459 </li>
460 <li>
461 "I don't approve of political jokes ... I've seen too many of
462 them get elected."--Unknown
463 </li>
464 <li>
465 "There are two sides to every divorce:&nbsp; yours and shithead's."--Unknown
466 </li>
467 <li>
468 "If life deals you lemons, make lemonade;&nbsp; if it deals you tomatoes,
469 make Bloody Marys.&nbsp; But if it deals you a truckload of hand grenades ... now
470 THAT'S a message!!"--Unknown
471 </li>
472 <li>
473 "I love being married.&nbsp; It's so great to find that one special person
474 you want to annoy for the rest of your life."--Unknown
475 </li>
476 <li>
477 "Shopping tip:&nbsp; You can get shoes for 85 cents at the bowling alley."--Unknown
478 </li>
479 <li>
480 "I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect."--Unknown
481 </li>
482 <li>
483 "I married my wife for her looks ... but not the ones she's been
484 giving me lately!"--Unknown
485 </li>
486 <li>
487 "Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days
488 I've stayed alive."--Unknown
489 </li>
490 <li>
491 "Two peanuts were walking down the street.&nbsp; One was a salted."--Unknown
492 </li>
493 <li>
494 "Isn't it funny how the mood can be ruined so quickly by just one
495 busted condom?"--Unknown
496 </li>
497 <li>
498 "If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead
499 rabbits on the highway?"--Unknown
500 </li>
501 <li>
502 "Welcome To Shit Creek--Sorry, We're Out of Paddles!"--Unknown
503 </li>
504 <li>
505 "How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50
506 for Miss America?"--Unknown
507 </li>
508 <li>
509 "Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing
510 section in a swimming pool?"--Unknown
511 </li>
512 <li>
513 "Marriage changes passion ... suddenly you're in bed with a relative."--Unknown
514 </li>
515 <li>
516 "Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?"--Unknown
517 </li>
518 <li>
519 "The next time you feel like complaining remember:&nbsp; Your garbage
520 disposal probably eats better than thirty percent of the people in this world."--Unknown
521 </li>
522 <li>
523 "Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled."--Unknown
524 </li>
525 <li>
526 "Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words:&nbsp; 'Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's
527 been.'&quot;--Unknown
528 </li>
529 <li>
530 "I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone,
531 but they've always worked for me."--Hunter S. Thompson
532 </li>
533 <li>
534 "I speak Spanish to God, Italian to women, French to men, and German
535 to my dog."--Emporer Charles V
536 </li>
537 <li>
538 "It is unfortunate that the HP board has seemingly missed what the
539 company's stockholders have clearly recognized:&nbsp; that dissent is not disloyalty,
540 that healthy boards need not agree on every issue and that while the management
541 and board may run the company, the stockholders are the true owners of the
542 company."--Walter Hewlett, in a statement after not being reappointed to the
543 Hewlett-Packard board of directors in March of 2002 due to an adversarial
544 relationship with the company
545 </li>
546 <li>
547 "Be true to your teeth or they will be false to you."--Unknown
548 </li>
549 <li>
550 "An exclamation point is like laughing at your own joke."--F. Scott
551 Fitzgerald
552 </li>
553 <li>
554 "It is not enough to succeed.&nbsp; Others must fail."--Gore Vidal
555 </li>
556 <li>
557 "Nostalgia isn't what it used to be."--Unknown
558 </li>
559 <li>
560 "They call television a medium because nothing's well done."--Goodman Ace.
561 </li>
562 <li>
563 "Diplomacy is the art of saying 'nice doggie' 'till you can find a rock."--Wynn Catlin
564 </li>
565 <li>
566 "I'm worried that just as clothes dryers have the knack of making
567 socks disappear, the federal government has discovered a core competency of
568 losing computers."--Charles E. Grassley (R-Iowa) in an August 2002 letter to
569 Mitchell E. Daniels Jr., director of the Office of Management and Budget, in
570 response to a report that thousands of personal computers were lost within the
571 IRS
572 </li>
573 <li>
574 "You can't outrun Death forever.&nbsp; But you can make the Bastard work for it."--Major Korgo
575 Korgar, "Last of The Lancers", AFC 32&nbsp; (This quote
576 appeared as a slide starting the episode <i>Lava and Rockets, Episode \#213</i>
577 of the TV series <i>Andromeda</i> in 2002.&nbsp; It is not clear to me if this is a
578 real quote by a fictitious person (is Korgo Korgar real?) or whether it is based
579 on a real-life quote by another person, or whether it was created by the show's
580 writers.&nbsp; This needs to be researched.)
581 </li>
582 <li>
583 "Will someone please explain to me the logic that says we can trust
584 someone with a Boeing 747 in bad weather, but not with a Glock 9 millimeter?"--Senator Zell Miller, in 9/2002 in support of a measure allowing
585 the arming of airline pilots
586 </li>
587 <li>
588 "The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies,
589 the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of
590 animals I have ever seen.&nbsp; Thank God for the United States Marine Corps!"--Eleanor Roosevelt, First Lady of the United States, 1945
591 </li>
592 <li>
593 "You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white
594 guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the Swiss hold the Americas Cup, France is
595 accusing the U.S. of arrogance, and Germany doesn't want to go to war."--Unknown Author (Received via e-mail during operation
596 <i>Iraqi Freedom</i> on March 25, 2003.)
597 </li>
598 <li>
599 "Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine."--Author
600 unknown, in the footer of a newsgroup post by <a href="mailto:iddw@hotmail.com"> Dave Hansen</a>
601 in April 2003.
602 </li>
603 <li>
604 &quot;Every great scientific truth goes through three states:&nbsp; first,
605 people say it conflicts with the Bible; next, they say it has been discovered
606 before; lastly, they say they always believed it.&quot;---Louis Agassiz
607 (1807-1873), Swiss-born American naturalist.
608 </li>
609 <li>
610 &quot;Laugh and the world laughs with you.&nbsp; Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.&quot;--Laurie
611 Kuslansky
612 </li>
613 <li>
614 &quot;My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being, hitting my
615 head on the top bunk bed until I faint.&quot;--Erma Bombeck
616 </li>
617 <li>
618 &quot;A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.&quot;--Rhonda
619 Hansome
620 </li>
621 <li>
622 &quot;The phrase 'working mother' is redundant.&quot;--Jane Sellman
623 </li>
624 <li>
625 &quot;Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows.&quot;--Jennifer
626 Unlimited
627 </li>
628 <li>
629 &quot;Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half
630 as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.&quot;--Charlotte Whitton
631 </li>
632 <li>
633 &quot;I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at
634 once.&quot;--Jennifer Unlimited
635 </li>
636 <li>
637 &quot;If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible
638 warning.&quot;--Catherine
639 </li>
640 <li>
641 &quot;When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years
642 before they realized I actually had a hearing loss.&nbsp; And they called ME slow!&quot;--Kathy
643 Buckley
644 </li>
645 <li>
646 &quot;I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb ...
647 and I'm also not blonde.&quot;--Dolly Parton
648 </li>
649 <li>
650 &quot;If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.&quot;--Sue
651 Grafton
652 </li>
653 <li>
654 &quot;I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.&quot;--Roseanne
655 Barr
656 </li>
657 <li>
658 &quot;When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping.&nbsp; Men invade another
659 country.&quot;--Elayne Boosler
660 </li>
661 <li>
662 &quot;Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.&quot;--Maryon Pearson
663 </li>
664 <li>
665 &quot;In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man- if you want anything done,
666 ask a woman.&quot;--Margaret Thatcher
667 </li>
668 <li>
669 &quot;I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a
670 career.&quot;--Gloria Steinem
671 </li>
672 <li>
673 &quot;I am a marvelous housekeeper.&nbsp; Every time I leave a man I keep his house.&quot;--Zsa
674 Zsa Gabor
675 </li>
676 <li>
677 &quot;Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.&quot;--Eleanor
678 Roosevelt
679 </li>
680 <li>&quot;In this world there are only two tragedies; one is not getting what one wants,
681 the other is getting it.&quot;-- Oscar Wilde
682 </li>
683
684 <li>&quot;It's so much easier to suggest solutions when you don't know too much about the problem.&quot;--Malcolm Forbes (1919 - 1990)
685 </li>
686
687 <li>&quot;I have always wished that my computer would be as easy to use as my telephone.&nbsp;
688 My wish has come true.&nbsp; I no longer know how to use my telephone.&quot;--Bjarne Stroustrup, computer science professor, designer of C++ programming language (1950- )
689 </li>
690
691 <li>&quot;In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.&quot;--Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914), The Devil's Dictionary
692 </li>
693
694 <li>&quot;Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon filled with backup tapes.&quot;--Jim Gray, ACM Turing Award winner
695 </li>
696
697 <li>&quot;A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against its government.&quot;--Edward Abbey, naturalist and author (1927-1989)
698 </li>
699
700 <li>&quot;When governments fear the people there is liberty.&nbsp; When the people fear the government there is tyranny.&quot;--Thomas Jefferson, third US president, architect and author (1743-1826)
701 </li>
702
703 <li>&quot;The hardest person to awaken is the one already awake.&quot;--Tagalog saying
704 </li>
705
706 <li>&quot;Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.&quot;--Hanlon's Razor
707 </li>
708
709 <li>&quot;It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.&quot;--James Thurber (1894 - 1961)
710 </li>
711
712 <li>
713
714 &quot;Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest.&quot;--Isaac
715 Asimov, author (1920 - 1992)
716 </li>
717
718 <li>
719
720
721 &quot;Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status.&quot;--Laurence J. Peter (1919 - 1988)
722 </li>
723
724 <li>
725
726 &quot;Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses.&quot;--Unknown
727 </li>
728
729 <li>
730
731 &quot;Patriotism is the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons.&quot;--Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)
732 </li>
733
734 <li>
735
736 &quot;'My country, right or wrong,' is a thing that no patriot would think of saying except in a desperate case.&nbsp;
737 It is like saying, 'My mother, drunk or sober.'&quot; - G. K. Chesterton (1874 - 1936)
738 </li>
739
740 <li>
741
742 &quot;When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad, and that is my religion.&quot;--Abraham Lincoln, US President (1809 - 1865) (attributed)
743 </li>
744
745 <li>&quot;To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public.&quot;--Theodore Roosevelt, 26th US President (1858-1919)
746 </li>
747
748 <li>
749
750 &quot;Computers are useless.&nbsp; They can only give you answers.&quot;--Pablo Picasso, artist (1881 - 1973)
751 </li>
752
753 <li>
754
755 &quot;Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.&quot;--H. L. Mencken, author (1880 - 1956)
756 </li>
757
758 <li>
759
760 &quot;Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.&quot;--Lucius Annaeus Seneca, writer and philosopher (BCE 3-65 CE)
761 </li>
762
763 <li>
764
765 &quot;Finance is the art of passing money from hand to hand until it finally disappears.&quot;--Robert W. Sarnoff, RCA executive (1918-1997)
766 </li>
767
768 <li>
769
770 &quot;Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.&quot;--Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915)
771 </li>
772
773 <li>
774
775 &quot;There are 10<sup>11</sup> stars in the galaxy.&nbsp; That used to be a huge number.&nbsp;
776 But it's only a hundred billion.&nbsp; It's less than the national deficit!&nbsp;
777 We used to call them astronomical numbers.&nbsp; Now we should call them economical numbers.&quot;--Richard Feynman, physicist, Nobel laureate (1918-1988)
778 </li>
779
780 <li>&quot;The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.&quot;--Samuel Butler (1835 - 1902)
781 </li>
782
783 <li>
784
785 &quot;Never express yourself more clearly than you think.&quot;--Niels Bohr
786 </li>
787
788 <li>
789
790 &quot;A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn't.&quot;--Unknown
791 </li>
792
793 <li>
794
795 &quot;Sometimes I think we're alone in the universe, and sometimes I think we're not.&nbsp;
796 In either case, the idea is quite staggering.&quot;--Arthur C Clarke, science fiction writer (1917- )
797 </li>
798
799 <li>
800
801 &quot;Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.&quot;--Kin Hubbard (1868 - 1930)
802 </li>
803
804 <li>
805
806 &quot;Whenever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship.&quot;--Harry S Truman (1884 - 1972)
807 </li>
808
809 <li>
810
811 &quot;Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.&quot;--George Bernard Shaw, writer, Nobel laureate (1856-1950)
812 </li>
813
814 <li>
815
816 &quot;All of the books in the world contain no more information than is broadcast as video in a single large American city in a single year.&nbsp;
817 Not all bits have equal value.&quot;--Carl Sagan, astronomer, author (1934-1996)
818 </li>
819
820 <li>
821
822 &quot;The universe is not hostile, nor yet is it friendly.&nbsp; It is simply indifferent.&quot;--John Haynes&nbsp;
823 </li>
824
825 <li>
826
827 &quot;A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled.&quot;--Sir Barnett Cocks
828 </li>
829
830 <li>
831
832 &quot;Nature is trying very hard to make us succeed, but nature does not depend on us.&nbsp;
833 We are not the only experiment.&quot;--R. Buckminster Fuller, engineer, designer, and architect (1895-1983)
834 </li>
835
836 <li>
837
838 &quot;Speech is conveniently located midway between thought and action, where it often substitutes for both.&quot;--John Andrew Holmes, 20th-century American author, physician
839 </li>
840
841 <li>
842
843 &quot;Worry is interest paid on trouble before it comes due.&quot;--William R. Inge, clergyman, scholar, and author (1860-1954)
844 </li>
845
846 <li>
847
848 &quot;Assassination:&nbsp; The extreme form of censorship.&quot;--George Bernard Shaw, writer, Nobel laureate (1856-1950)
849 </li>
850
851 <li>
852
853 &quot;History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.&quot;--Abba Eban, Israeli diplomat (1915-)
854 </li>
855
856 <li>&quot;Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get.&quot;--Anonymous
857 </li>
858
859 <li>
860
861 &quot;The measure of a man's real character is what he would do if he knew he would never be found out.&quot;--Thomas Babington Macaulay, author and statesman (1800-1859)
862 </li>
863
864 <li>
865
866 &quot;Life is one long process of getting tired.&quot;--Samuel Butler, British author
867 (1835-1902)
868 </li>
869
870 <li>
871
872 &quot;Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.&quot;--Confucius, philosopher and teacher (c. 551-478 BCE)
873 </li>
874
875 <li>
876
877 &quot;Never advise anyone to go to war or to marry.&quot;--Spanish Proverb
878 </li>
879
880 <li>
881
882 &quot;Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.&quot;--Philip K. Dick, author (1928-1982)
883 </li>
884
885 <li>
886
887 &quot;Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom.&nbsp; It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves.&quot;--William Pitt, British prime-minister (1759-1806)
888 </li>
889
890 <li>
891
892 &quot;The believer is happy; the doubter is wise.&quot;--Hungarian proverb&nbsp;
893 </li>
894
895 <li>
896
897 &quot;Skeptics laugh in order not to weep.&quot;--Anatole France, French author, critic and poet (1844-1924)
898 </li>
899
900 <li>
901
902 &quot;I take a simple view of living.&nbsp; It is keep your eyes open and get on with it.&quot;--Laurence Olivier, British actor
903 (1907-1989)
904 </li>
905
906 <li>
907
908 &quot;In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life:&nbsp; it goes on.&quot;--Robert Frost, poet (1874-1963)
909 </li>
910
911 <li>
912
913 &quot;There are some that only employ words for the purpose of disguising their thoughts.&quot;--Voltaire, philosopher (1694-1778)
914 </li>
915
916 <li>
917
918 &quot;I have learnt silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers.&quot;--
919 Kahlil Gibran, mystic, poet and artist (1883-1931)
920 </li>
921
922 <li>
923
924 &quot;Human beings are the only creatures who are able to behave irrationally in the name of reason.&quot;--Ashley
925 Montagu, English anthropologist (1905-1999)
926 </li>
927
928 <li>
929
930 &quot;Those are my principles.&nbsp; If you don't like them I have others.&quot;--Groucho Marx, comedian (1890-1977)
931 </li>
932
933 <li>
934
935 &quot;Always remember that you are unique.&nbsp; Just like everyone else.&quot;--Unattributed
936 </li>
937
938 <li>
939
940 &quot;Perfection is attained by slow degrees; it requires the hand of time.&quot;--Voltaire, philosopher (1694-1778)
941 </li>
942
943 <li>
944
945 &quot;There's this thing called being so open-minded your brains drop out.&quot;--Richard Dawkins, biologist, author, philosopher (1941-)
946 </li>
947
948 <li>
949
950 &quot;All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.&quot;--Sean
951 O'Casey, playwright (1880-1964)
952 </li>
953
954 <li>
955
956 &quot;Every man is a damned fool for at least five minutes every day.&nbsp; Wisdom consists in not exceeding the
957 limit.&quot;--Elbert Hubbard, author, editor, printer (1856-1915)
958 </li>
959
960 <li>
961
962 &quot;War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.&quot;--Ambrose Bierce, writer (1842-1914)
963 </li>
964
965 <li>
966
967 &quot;Never confuse motion with action.&quot;--Benjamin Franklin, statesman, author, and inventor (1706-1790)
968 </li>
969
970 <li>
971
972 &quot;Dignity consists not in possessing honors, but in the consciousness that we deserve them.&quot;--Aristotle, philosopher (384-322 BCE)
973 </li>
974
975 <li>
976
977 &quot;To a man with a hammer, everything looks like a nail.&quot;--Mark Twain, author and humorist (1835-1910)
978 </li>
979
980 <li>
981
982 &quot;Make haste slowly.&quot;--Caesar Augustus, Roman emperor (63 BCE-14 CE)
983 </li>
984
985 <li>
986
987 &quot;It is a bit embarrassing to have been concerned with the human problem all one's life and find at the end that one has no more to offer by way of advice than
988 'try to be a little kinder.'&quot;--Aldous Huxley, novelist (1894-1963)
989 </li>
990
991 <li>
992
993 &quot;Our sun is one of 100 billion stars in our galaxy.&nbsp; Our galaxy is one of the billions of galaxies populating the universe.&nbsp;
994 It would be the height of presumption to think that we are the only living things within that enormous immensity.&quot;--Wernher von Braun, rocket engineer (1912-1977)
995 </li>
996
997 <li>
998
999 &quot;Experience teaches us to be most on our guard to protect liberty when the government's purpose is beneficent.&nbsp;
1000 Men born to freedom are naturally alert to repel invasion of their liberty by evil-minded rulers.&nbsp;
1001 The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding.&quot;--Louis Dembitz Brandeis, lawyer, judge, and writer (1856-1941)
1002 </li>
1003
1004 <li>
1005
1006 &quot;When great changes occur in history, when great principles are involved, as a rule the majority are wrong.&quot;--Eugene V. Debs, American Socialist
1007 (1855-1926)
1008 </li>
1009
1010 <li>
1011
1012 &quot;I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.&quot;--Brendan Francis Behan, playwright (1923-1964)
1013 </li>
1014
1015 <li>
1016
1017 &quot;It may be necessary temporarily to accept a lesser evil, but one must never label a necessary evil as good.&quot;--Margaret Mead, American anthropologist (1901-1978)
1018 </li>
1019
1020 <li>
1021
1022 &quot;Be master of your petty annoyances and conserve your energies for the big, worthwhile things.&nbsp;
1023 It isn't the mountain ahead that wears you out--it's the grain of sand in your shoe.&quot;--Robert Service, writer (1874-1958)
1024 </li>
1025
1026 <li>
1027
1028 &quot;Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral?&nbsp; It is because we are not the person involved.&quot;--Mark Twain, author and humorist (1835-1910)
1029 </li>
1030
1031 <li>
1032
1033 &quot;Money often costs too much.&quot;--Ralph Waldo Emerson, American essayist, poet and philosopher (1803-1882)
1034 </li>
1035
1036 <li>
1037
1038 &quot;By three methods we may learn wisdom:&nbsp; First, by reflection, which is noblest; second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third, by experience, which is the bitterest.&quot;--Confucius, philosopher and teacher (c. 551- 478 BCE)
1039 </li>
1040
1041 <li>
1042
1043 &quot;Until lions have their historians, tales of the hunt shall always glorify the hunter.&quot;--African
1044 proverb
1045 </li>
1046
1047 <li>
1048
1049 &quot;Life is a long lesson in humility.&quot;--James M. Barrie, writer (1860-1937)
1050 </li>
1051
1052 <li>
1053
1054 &quot;The man who is a pessimist before forty-eight knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.&quot;--Mark Twain, author (1835-1910)
1055 </li>
1056
1057 <li>
1058
1059 &quot;A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.&quot;--George Bernard Shaw, writer, Nobel laureate (1856-1950)
1060 </li>
1061
1062 <li>
1063
1064 &quot;A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs--jolted by every pebble in the road.&quot;--Henry Ward Beecher, preacher and writer (1813-1887)
1065 </li>
1066
1067 <li>
1068
1069 &quot;Lighthouses are more helpful than churches.&quot;--Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)
1070 </li>
1071
1072 <li>
1073
1074 &quot;Sometimes to remain silent is to lie.&quot;--Miguel de Unamuno, philosopher and writer (1864-1936)
1075 </li>
1076
1077 <li>
1078
1079 &quot;Excuse my dust.&quot;--Dorothy Parker's own epitaph - poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
1080 </li>
1081
1082 <li>
1083
1084 &quot;Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.&quot;--Dorothy Parker - poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
1085 </li>
1086
1087 <li>
1088
1089 &quot;If all the girls in attendance were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.&quot;--Dorothy Parker responding to "Wasn't the Yale prom wonderful?" Poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
1090 </li>
1091
1092 <li>
1093
1094 &quot;You know, that woman speaks 18 languages, and she can't say 'no' in any of them.&quot;--Dorothy Parker - poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
1095 </li>
1096
1097 <li>
1098
1099 &quot;Brevity is the soul of lingerie.&quot;--Dorothy Parker - poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
1100 </li>
1101
1102 <li>
1103
1104 &quot;It's a small apartment, I've barely enough room to lay my hat and a few friends.&quot;--Dorothy Parker - poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
1105 </li>
1106
1107 <li>
1108
1109 &quot;One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.&quot;--Rita Mae Brown, author (1944- )
1110 </li>
1111
1112 <li>
1113
1114 &quot;When a man wants to murder a tiger he calls it sport; when the tiger wants to murder him he calls it ferocity.&quot;--George Bernard Shaw, writer, Nobel laureate (1856-1950)
1115 </li>
1116
1117 <li>
1118
1119 &quot;Don't discuss yourself, for you are bound to lose; if you belittle yourself, you are believed; if you praise yourself, you are disbelieved.&quot;--Michel de Montaigne, essayist (1533-1592)
1120 </li>
1121
1122 <li>
1123
1124 &quot;Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.&quot;--George Washington (1732-1799)
1125 </li>
1126
1127 <li>
1128
1129 &quot;Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful."--Samuel Johnson, English author, lexicographer (1709-1784)
1130 </li>
1131
1132 <li>
1133
1134 &quot;To have friends, you know, one need only be good-natured; but when a man has no enemy left there must be something mean about him.&quot;--Oscar Wilde, Anglo-Irish playwright, author (1854-1900)
1135 </li>
1136
1137 <li>
1138
1139 &quot;To have doubted one's own first principles is the mark of a civilized man.&quot;--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., poet, novelist, essayist, and physician (1809-1894)
1140 </li>
1141
1142 <li>
1143
1144 &quot;If I have been able to see further, it was only because I stood on the shoulders of giants.&quot;--Isaac Newton, mathematician, physicist (1642-1727)
1145 </li>
1146
1147 <li>
1148
1149 &quot;Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.&quot;--Will Durant, historian (1885-1981)
1150 </li>
1151
1152 <li>
1153
1154 &quot;Every woman is a 10; it just depends on what base you're counting in.&quot;--Unknown
1155 </li>
1156
1157 <li>
1158
1159 &quot;Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.&quot;--Abraham Lincoln, statesman, US President (1809-1865)
1160 </li>
1161
1162 <li>
1163
1164 &quot;Every society honors its live conformists and its dead troublemakers.&quot;--Mignon McLaughlin, author
1165 </li>
1166
1167 <li>
1168
1169 &quot;Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.&quot;--Arthur C. Clarke
1170 </li>
1171
1172 <li>
1173
1174 &quot;When men are most sure and arrogant, they are commonly the most mistaken.&quot;--David Hume, philosopher, historian (1711-1776)
1175 </li>
1176
1177 <li>
1178
1179 &quot;The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who, in time of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality.&quot;--Dante Alighieri, poet (1265 -1321)
1180 </li>
1181
1182 <li>&quot;I long to accomplish a great and noble task; but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble.&quot;--Helen Keller, deaf & blind lecturer (1880-1968)
1183 </li>
1184
1185 <li>
1186
1187 &quot;I'm proud to pay taxes in the United States; the only thing is, I could be just as proud for half the money.&quot;--Arthur Godfrey
1188 </li>
1189
1190 <li>
1191
1192 &quot;Walking is also an ambulation of mind.&quot;--Gretel Ehrlich, novelist, poet, and essayist (1946- )
1193 </li>
1194
1195 <li>
1196
1197 &quot;Every saint has a past and every sinner a future.&quot;--Oscar Wilde, writer (1854-1900)
1198 </li>
1199
1200 <li>&quot;Good judgment comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgment.&quot;--Rita Mae Brown, American writer and playwright
1201 </li>
1202
1203 <li>
1204
1205 &quot;People are like stained glass windows: they sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light within.&quot;--Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, psychiatrist and author (1926- )
1206 </li>
1207
1208 <li>
1209
1210 &quot;Too many have dispensed with generosity in order to practice charity.&quot;--Albert Camus (1913-1960)
1211 </li>
1212
1213 <li>
1214
1215 &quot;Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity.&quot;--Frank Leahy
1216 </li>
1217
1218 <li>
1219
1220 &quot;When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President.&nbsp; Now I'm beginning to believe
1221 it.&quot;--Clarence Darrow, lawyer, author (1857-1938)
1222 </li>
1223
1224 <li>
1225
1226 &quot;Since Auschwitz we know what man is capable of.&nbsp; And since Hiroshima we know what is at stake.&quot;--Viktor Frankl, author, neurologist and psychiatrist, Holocaust survivor (1905-1997)
1227 </li>
1228
1229 <li>
1230
1231 &quot;Choosing the lesser of two evils, is still choosing evil&quot;--Christopher Hampton, British playwright
1232 </li>
1233
1234 <li>
1235
1236 &quot;When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.&quot;--Mae West
1237 </li>
1238
1239 <li>
1240
1241 &quot;Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.&quot;--Abraham Lincoln, statesman, US President (1809-1865)
1242 </li>
1243
1244 <li>
1245
1246 &quot;Never mistake motion for action.&quot;--Ernest Hemingway, writer, journalist (1899-1961)
1247 </li>
1248
1249 <li>
1250
1251 &quot;The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing.&nbsp; If you can fake that, you've got it made.&quot;--Groucho Marx
1252 </li>
1253
1254 <li>
1255
1256 &quot;Love your enemies, for they tell you your faults.&quot;--Benjamin Franklin, statesman, philosopher, journalist (1706-1790)
1257 </li>
1258
1259 <li>
1260
1261 &quot;Pay attention to your enemies, for they are the first to discover your mistakes.&quot;--Antisthenes, Greek philosopher (ca 445- ca 365 BCE)
1262 </li>
1263
1264 <li>
1265
1266 &quot;Cannibals prefer those who have no spines.&quot;--Stanislaw Lem
1267 </li>
1268
1269 <li>
1270
1271 &quot;I was reading the dictionary.&nbsp; I thought it was a poem about everything.&quot;--Steven Wright, comedian (1955- ?)
1272 </li>
1273
1274 <li>
1275
1276 &quot;When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.&quot;--Mark Twain, writer, philosopher (1835-1910)
1277 </li>
1278
1279 <li>
1280
1281 &quot;The least initial deviation from the truth is multiplied later a thousand-fold.&quot;--Aristotle, philosopher (ca 384- ca 322 BCE)
1282 </li>
1283
1284 <li> &quot;I didn't know he was one of the first lawyers!&nbsp; The first human who hurled an insult instead of a stone was the founder of civilization.&quot;--Sigmund Freud, neurologist, founder of psychoanalysis (1856-1939)
1285 </li>
1286
1287 <li>
1288
1289 &quot;Trust in Allah, but tie your camel.&quot;--Arabic saying
1290 </li>
1291
1292 <li>
1293
1294 &quot;In the midst of great joy, do not promise anyone anything.&nbsp; In the midst of great anger, do not answer anyone's letter.&quot;--Chinese proverb
1295 </li>
1296
1297 <li>
1298
1299 &quot;It is not what we do, but also what we do not do, for which we are accountable.&quot;--Moliere, playwright (1622-1673)
1300 </li>
1301
1302 <li>
1303
1304 &quot;When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.&nbsp;
1305 But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1306 </li>
1307
1308 <li>
1309
1310 &quot;I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1311 </li>
1312
1313 <li>
1314
1315 &quot;Familiarity breeds contempt--and children.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1316 </li>
1317
1318 <li>&quot;Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1319 </li>
1320
1321 <li>
1322
1323 &quot;The past may not repeat itself, but it sure does rhyme.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1324 </li>
1325
1326 <li>
1327
1328 &quot;I have no color prejudices nor caste prejudices nor creed prejudices.&nbsp;
1329 All I care to know is that a man is a human being, and that is enough for me; he can't be any worse.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1330 </li>
1331
1332 <li>
1333
1334 &quot;Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1335 </li>
1336
1337 <li>
1338
1339 &quot;Duct tape is like the force.&nbsp; It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe
1340 together ...&quot;--Carl Zwanzig
1341 </li>
1342
1343 <li>
1344
1345 &quot;Be careful of reading health books, you might die of a misprint.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1346 </li>
1347
1348 <li>
1349
1350 &quot;There are three kinds of lies:&nbsp; lies, damn lies, and statistics.&quot;--Mark Twain (1835-1910)
1351 </li>
1352
1353 <li>
1354
1355 &quot;In America, anybody can be president.&nbsp; That's one of the risks you take.&quot;--Adlai Stevenson, statesman (1900-1965)
1356 </li>
1357
1358 <li>
1359
1360 &quot;There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.&quot;--Frank Zappa
1361 </li>
1362
1363 <li>
1364
1365 &quot;Black holes are where God divided by zero.&quot;--Steven Wright, comedian (1955- ?)
1366 </li>
1367
1368 <li>
1369
1370 &quot;If you believe everything you read, better not read.&quot;--Japanese proverb
1371 </li>
1372
1373 <li>
1374
1375 &quot;A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.&quot;--Oscar Wilde, writer (1854-1900)
1376 </li>
1377
1378 <li>
1379
1380 &quot;So you're the man who can't spell fuck.&quot;--Dorothy Parker to Norman Mailer (he had been convinced by his publisher to use "fug"
1381 instead) Poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
1382 </li>
1383
1384 <li>
1385
1386 &quot;You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think&quot;--Dorothy Parker - poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
1387 </li>
1388
1389 <li>
1390
1391 &quot;Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1392 </li>
1393
1394 <li>
1395
1396 &quot;We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech.&quot;--Kathleen Dixon, Director of women's studies department, Bowling Green State Univ. on disallowing the teaching of a course on Political Correctness
1397 </li>
1398
1399 <li>
1400
1401 &quot;Give me ambiguity or give me something else.&quot;--Unattributed
1402 </li>
1403
1404 <li>
1405
1406 &quot;Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.&quot;--Soren Kierkegaard, philosopher, theologian (1813-1855)
1407 </li>
1408
1409 <li>
1410
1411 &quot;We are not retreating--we are advancing in another direction.&quot;--General Douglas MacArthur (1880-1964)
1412 </li>
1413
1414 <li>
1415
1416 &quot;Adults are obsolete children.&quot;--Dr. Seuss (1904-1991)
1417 </li>
1418
1419 <li>
1420
1421 &quot;The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.&quot;--James Branch Cabell
1422 </li>
1423
1424 <li>
1425
1426 &quot;It should be done with the same degree of alacrity and nonchalance that you would display in authorizing a highly intelligent trained bear to remove your appendix.&quot;--Dan Greenberg
1427 </li>
1428
1429 <li>
1430
1431 &quot;To keep your marriage brimming,
1432 With love in the loving cup,
1433 Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
1434 Whenever you're right, shut up.&quot;--Ogden Nash, poet (1902-1971)
1435 </li>
1436
1437 <li>
1438
1439 &quot;Having served on various committees, I have drawn up a list of rules:
1440 · Never arrive on time; this stamps you as a beginner.
1441 · Don't say anything until the meeting is half over; this stamps you as being wise.
1442 · Be as vague as possible; this avoids irritating the others.
1443 · When in doubt, suggest that a subcommittee be appointed.
1444 · Be the first to move for adjournment; this will make you popular; it's what everyone is waiting for.&quot;--Harry Chapman
1445 </li>
1446
1447 <li>
1448
1449 &quot;Take care of those who work for you and you'll float to greatness on their achievements.&quot;--H.S.M. Burns
1450 </li>
1451
1452 <li>
1453
1454 &quot;A remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he is really very good in spite of all the people who say he is very good.&quot;--Robert Graves
1455 </li>
1456
1457 <li>
1458
1459 &quot;Television has done much for psychiatry, by spreading information about it as well as contributing to the need for it.&quot;--Alfred Hitchcock
1460 </li>
1461
1462 <li>
1463
1464 &quot;The first principle is that you must not fool yourself--and you are the easiest person to fool.&quot;--Richard Feynman, physicist (1918-1988)
1465 </li>
1466
1467 <li>
1468
1469 &quot;What if this weren't a hypothetical question?&quot;--Unattributed
1470 </li>
1471
1472 <li>
1473
1474 &quot;Everywhere is walking distance ... if you have the time.&quot;--Steven Wright, comedian (1955- ?)
1475 </li>
1476
1477 <li>
1478
1479 &quot;He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.&quot;--Chinese proverb
1480 </li>
1481
1482 <li>
1483
1484 &quot;It is not enough to have a good mind.&nbsp; The main thing is to use it well.&quot;--Rene Descartes, mathematician, philosopher (1596-1650) in "Le Discours de la Methode," 1637
1485 </li>
1486
1487 <li>
1488
1489 &quot;Experience is the comb life gives you after you lose your hair.&quot;--Judith Stearn
1490 </li>
1491
1492 <li>
1493
1494 &quot;Life is pleasant.&nbsp; Death is peaceful.&nbsp; It's the transition that's troublesome.&quot;--Isaac
1495 Asimov, science-fiction writer (1920-1992)
1496 </li>
1497
1498 <li>
1499
1500 &quot;It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.&quot;--Mark Twain, author and humorist (1835-1910)
1501 </li>
1502
1503 <li>
1504
1505 &quot;It is criminal to steal a purse, daring to steal a fortune, a mark of greatness to steal a crown.&nbsp;
1506 The blame diminishes as the guilt increases.&quot;--Johan Christoph Friedrich von Schiller, poet and dramatist (1759-1805)
1507 </li>
1508
1509 <li>
1510
1511 &quot;There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.&quot;--Mary Little
1512 </li>
1513
1514 <li>
1515
1516 &quot;I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.&quot;--Mae West
1517 </li>
1518
1519 <li>
1520
1521 &quot;I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage.&nbsp;
1522 They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.&quot;--Rita
1523 Rudner, comedian
1524 </li>
1525
1526 <li>
1527
1528 &quot;I know I am among civilized men because they are fighting so savagely.&quot;--Voltaire, write (1694-1778)
1529 </li>
1530
1531 <li>
1532
1533 &quot;If it's fact, it ain't brag.&quot;--Dizzy Dean
1534 </li>
1535
1536 <li>
1537
1538 &quot;By all means marry.&nbsp; If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.&nbsp; If you get a bad one, you'll become a
1539 philosopher.&quot;--Socrates, philosopher, teacher (ca 470- ca 399 BCE)
1540 </li>
1541
1542 <li>
1543
1544 &quot;I think ... I think it's in my basement.&nbsp; Let me go upstairs and check.&quot;--M.C. Escher, artist (1898-1972)
1545 </li>
1546
1547 <li>
1548
1549 &quot;Children aren't happy without something to ignore.&nbsp; And that's what parents were created for.&quot;--Ogden Nash, poet (1902-1971)
1550 </li>
1551
1552 <li>
1553
1554 &quot;I find that principles have no real force except when one is well fed.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, humorist (1835-1910)
1555 </li>
1556
1557 <li>
1558
1559 &quot;Say not, 'I have found the truth,' but rather, 'I have found a truth.&quot;--Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931)
1560 </li>
1561
1562 <li>
1563
1564 &quot;A leader who keeps his ear to the ground allows his rear end to become a target.&quot;--Angie Papadakis
1565 </li>
1566
1567 <li>
1568
1569 &quot;Science is built with facts as a house is with stones--but a collection of facts is no more a science than a heap of stones is a house.&quot;--Jules Henry Poincare (1854-1912)
1570 </li>
1571
1572 <li>
1573
1574 &quot;Wit is educated insolence.&quot;--Aristotle, philosopher (ca 384- ca 322 BCE)
1575 </li>
1576
1577 <li>
1578
1579 &quot;As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.&quot;--Josh Billings
1580 </li>
1581
1582 <li>
1583
1584 &quot;A practical man is a man who practices the errors of his forefathers.&quot;--Lord Beaconsfield
1585 </li>
1586
1587 <li>
1588
1589 &quot;Teachers open the door, but you must enter by yourself.&quot;--Chinese Proverb
1590 </li>
1591
1592 <li>
1593
1594 &quot;Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence of fear.&quot;--
1595 Mark Twain, author, humorist (1835-1910)
1596 </li>
1597
1598 <li>
1599
1600 &quot;Pessimist:&nbsp; One who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both.&quot;--
1601 Oscar Wilde, writer, playwright (1854-1900)
1602 </li>
1603
1604 <li>
1605
1606 &quot;There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness'.&quot;--Dave Barry
1607 </li>
1608
1609 <li>
1610
1611 &quot;There is far more opportunity than there is ability.&quot;--Thomas Edison, inventor (1847-1931)
1612 </li>
1613
1614 <li>
1615
1616 &quot;A great deal of intelligence can be invested in ignorance when the need for illusion is deep.&quot;--Saul Belloe
1617 </li>
1618
1619 <li>
1620
1621 &quot;I have one share in corporate Earth, and I am nervous about the management.&quot;--E.B. White
1622 </li>
1623
1624 <li>
1625
1626 &quot;They called me mad, and I called them mad, and damn them, they outvoted me.&quot;--Nathaniel Lee (on being consigned to a mental institution, circa 17th c.)
1627 </li>
1628
1629 <li>
1630
1631 &quot;There are two ways to slide easily through life: to believe everything or to doubt everything; both ways save us from thinking.&quot;--Theodore Rubin
1632 </li>
1633
1634 <li>
1635
1636 &quot;When you want to test the depths of a stream, don't use both feet.&quot;--Chinese Proverb
1637 </li>
1638
1639 <li>
1640
1641 &quot;A man does not have to be an angel in order to be saint.&quot;--Albert Schweitzer, theologian, philosopher, missionary, physician (1875-1965)
1642 </li>
1643
1644 <li>
1645
1646 &quot;Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone.&quot;--Pablo Picasso, artist (1881-1973)
1647 </li>
1648
1649 <li>
1650
1651 &quot;There is a point beyond which even justice becomes unjust.&quot;--Sophocles, slave, philosopher, teacher (ca 495? - ca 406 BCE)
1652 </li>
1653
1654 <li>
1655
1656 &quot;Television is an invention whereby you can be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your house.&quot;--David Frost
1657 </li>
1658
1659 <li>
1660
1661 &quot;A child on the farm sees a plane fly overhead and dreams of a faraway place.&nbsp;
1662 A traveler on the plane sees the farmhouse and thinks of home.&quot;--Carl Burns
1663 </li>
1664
1665 <li>
1666
1667 &quot;If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are gone, either write things worth reading or do things worth writing.&quot;--Benjamin Franklin, author, statesman (1706-1790)
1668 </li>
1669
1670 <li>
1671
1672 &quot;Adolescence is a period of rapid changes.&nbsp; Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent ages 20 years.&quot;--Changing Times magazine
1673 </li>
1674
1675 <li>
1676
1677 &quot;In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice.&nbsp; But, in practice, there is.&quot;--Jan L.A. van de Snepscheut
1678 </li>
1679
1680 <li>
1681
1682 &quot;An education isn't how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know.&nbsp;
1683 It's being able to differentiate between what you know and what you don't.&quot;--Anatole France
1684 </li>
1685
1686 <li>
1687
1688 &quot;It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.&quot;--Aristotle, philosopher (ca 384- ca 322 BCE)
1689 </li>
1690
1691 <li>
1692
1693 &quot;Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, humorist (1835-1910)
1694 </li>
1695
1696 <li>
1697
1698 &quot;When you say that you agree to a thing in principle, you mean that you have not the slightest intention of carrying it out.&quot;--Otto von Bismarck, 1st chancellor of German Empire (1815-1898)
1699 </li>
1700
1701 <li>
1702
1703 &quot;There are two things that you should never see being made: sausage, and... a political deal.&quot;--Otto von Bismarck (paraphrased) , 1st chancellor of German Empire (1815-1898)
1704 </li>
1705
1706 <li>
1707
1708 &quot;Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.&quot;--Ralph Waldo Emerson, essayist, poet (1803-1882)
1709 </li>
1710
1711 <li>
1712
1713 &quot;Lottery:&nbsp; a tax on people who are bad at math.&quot;--Unattributed
1714 </li>
1715
1716 <li>
1717
1718 &quot;The best index to a person's character is how he treats people who can't do him any good, and how he treats people who can't fight back.&quot;--Abigail Van Buren
1719 </li>
1720
1721 <li>
1722
1723 &quot;Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.&quot;--Abraham Lincoln
1724 </li>
1725
1726 <li>
1727
1728 &quot;A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines.&nbsp;
1729 With consistency, a great soul has simply nothing to do.&quot;--Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 -1882)
1730 </li>
1731
1732 <li>
1733
1734 &quot;All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.&quot;--Mark Twain (1835 -1910)
1735 </li>
1736
1737 <li>
1738
1739 &quot;When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?&quot;--Robin Williams
1740 </li>
1741
1742 <li>
1743
1744 &quot;Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft--and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.&quot;--Werner von Braun, rocket engineer (1912-1977)
1745 </li>
1746
1747 </ul>
1748 <hr>
1749 <p><b><u><a name="hard_work"></a>Hard Work</u></b></p>
1750 <ul>
1751 <li>"The only place where <i>success</i> comes before <i>work</i> is in
1752 the dictionary."--Vidal Sassoon</li>
1753 </ul>
1754 <hr>
1755 <p><b><u><a name="hum_nat_soc_int"></a>Human Nature And Social Interactions</u></b></p>
1756 <ul>
1757 <li>"Anyone can be a barbarian; it requires a terrible effort to remain a
1758 civilized man."--Leonard Sidney Woolf</li>
1759 <li>"People start to diet when their stomachs stick out further than their
1760 dickiedoos."--Andy Sipowicz, \emph{NYPD Blue}.</li>
1761 <li>"Feeling guilty is one thing; looking guilty is something entirely
1762 different."--Dylan McCabe, \emph{Beverly Hills 90210}, airdate 04/00.</li>
1763 <li>"Unconfronted behavior will continue."--Unknown</li>
1764 <li>"It is easier to ask forgiveness than permission."--Unknown</li>
1765 <li>"How far you go in life, depends on your being Tender with the young,
1766 Compassionate with the Aged, Sympathetic with the Striving and Tolerant of the
1767 Weak and the Strong. Because, someday in life you will have been all of these."--George Washington Carver.</li>
1768 <li>"Simplicity of character is the natural result of profound thought."--From A Chinese Restaurant Fortune Cookie, 01/26/01
1769 </li>
1770 <li>"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds."--Ralph
1771 Waldo Emerson
1772 </li>
1773 </ul>
1774 <hr>
1775 <p><b><u><a name="histfig_napoleon"></a>Historical Figures, Napoleon</u></b></p>
1776 <ul>
1777 <li>&quot;[A]ny commander in chief who undertakes to carry out a plan which he
1778 considers defective is at fault; he must put forth his reasons, insist on the
1779 plan being changed, and finally tender his resignation rather than be the
1780 instrument of his army's downfall.&quot;--Napoleon</li>
1781 </ul>
1782 <hr>
1783 <p><b><u><a name="marriage_fav_manview"></a>Marriage (Favorable, From The Man's Point Of
1784 View)</u></b></p>
1785 <ul>
1786 <li>"A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that
1787 your wife will give you for free."--Anonymous</li>
1788 </ul>
1789 <hr>
1790 <p><b><u><a name="marriage_unfav_genderless"></a>Marriage (Unfavorable,
1791 Genderless)</u></b></p>
1792 <ul>
1793 <li>"Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement-ring, wedding-ring, suffer-ing.&quot;--Unknown</li>
1794 <li>"When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why. When a
1795 ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why."--Unknown</li>
1796 <li>"Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener."--Unknown</li>
1797 <li>"When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of
1798 one thing: either the car or the wife is new."--Unknown</li>
1799 </ul>
1800 <hr>
1801 <p><b><u><a name="marriage_unfav_manview"></a>Marriage (Unfavorable, From The Man's Point Of
1802 View)</u></b></p>
1803 <ul>
1804 <li>"Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not
1805 the only thing in life!"--Anonymous</li>
1806 <li>"An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she
1807 gets the more interested he is in her.&quot;--Agatha Christie</li>
1808 <li>"Bachelors should be heavily taxed.&nbsp; It is not fair that some men
1809 should be happier than others."--Oscar Wilde</li>
1810 <li>"Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper."--Scottish
1811 Proverb</li>
1812 <li>"I don't worry about terrorism.&nbsp; I was married for two years."--Sam
1813 Kinison</li>
1814 <li>"Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't,
1815 they'd be married too."--H. L. Mencken</li>
1816 <li>"Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later;
1817 for another thing, they die earlier."--H. L. Mencken</li>
1818 <li>"A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle."--U2</li>
1819 <li>"I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back."--Anonymous</li>
1820 <li>&quot;I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our
1821 anniversary?'&nbsp; She
1822 said, 'Somewhere I have never been!'&nbsp; I told her, 'How about the
1823 kitchen?'&quot;--Unknown</li>
1824 <li>"We always hold hands.&nbsp; If I let go, she shops."--Unknown</li>
1825 <li>"My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours.&nbsp; That was only for the estimate."--Unknown</li>
1826 <li>"She got a mudpack and looked great for two days.&nbsp; Then the mud fell off."--Unknown</li>
1827 <li>&quot;She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, 'Am I too late for the
1828 garbage?'&nbsp; Following her down the street I yelled, 'No, jump
1829 in!'&quot;--Unknown</li>
1830 <li>&quot;Badd Teddy recently explained to me why he refuses to ever get married.&nbsp;
1831 He said, 'the wedding rings look too much like minature handcuffs
1832 ...'&quot;--Unknown</li>
1833 <li>"If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at
1834 the front door, who do you let in first?&nbsp; The dog of course...!!!&nbsp; At least he'll
1835 shut up after you let him in!"--Unknown</li>
1836 <li>&quot;A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother
1837 and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man
1838 kneeling at a grave.&nbsp; The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and
1839 kept repeating,&nbsp; 'Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?'&nbsp; The first
1840 man approached him and said, 'Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private
1841 grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before.&nbsp; For
1842 whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?'&nbsp; The mourner took a moment to
1843 collect himself then replied, 'My wife's first husband.'&quot;--Unknown</li>
1844 <li>&quot;A couple came upon a wishing well.&nbsp; The husband leaned over, made a wish
1845 and threw in a penny.&nbsp; The wife decided to make a wish, too.&nbsp; But she leaned over
1846 too much; fell into the well and drowned.&nbsp; The husband was stunned for a while
1847 but smiled 'It really works!'&quot;--Unknown</li>
1848 <li>&quot;Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.&nbsp; After marriage,
1849 the 'y' becomes silent.&quot;--Unknown</li>
1850 </ul>
1851 <hr>
1852 <p><b><u><a name="microsoft"></a>Microsoft</u></b></p>
1853 <ul>
1854 <li>"Not using Microsoft products is like being a non-smoker 40 or 50
1855 years ago:&nbsp; you can choose not to smoke, yourself, but it's hard to avoid
1856 second-hand smoke."--M. Tiemann (from an e-mail footer belonging to
1857 Rick Moen--I do not know who M. Tiemann is)</li>
1858 <li>&quot;I sense much NT in you.&nbsp; NT leads to Bluescreen.&nbsp; Bluescreen
1859 leads to downtime.&nbsp; Downtime leads to suffering.&nbsp; NT is the path to the
1860 darkside.&nbsp; Powerful Unix is."--From an SSH mailing list post by <a href="mailto:lorenl@alzatex.com"> Loren
1861 Lang</a> in 12/2001.</li>
1862 <li>"The best way to accelerate a computer running Windows is at 9.8 m/sec<sup>2</sup>.&quot;--From an e-mail footer used by
1863 <a href="mailto:tlaane@lucent.com"> Thomas Laane</a> in 02/2002.</li>
1864 <li>&quot;Mr. Ballmer, Microsoft's chief executive, once referred to Linux's
1865 licensing as 'a cancer that attaches itself in an intellectual property sense to
1866 everything it touches.'&quot;--From a <a href="http://www.nytimes.com" target="_blank">New
1867 York Times</a> article by Thomas Fuller entitled <i>How Microsoft Warded Off Rival</i> on May 15,
1868 2003</li>
1869 <li>&quot;Failure is not an option, it comes bundled with your Microsoft
1870 product.&quot;--From an e-mail footer used by <a href="mailto:news@tux.com.au">Henry
1871 Phillips</a> in May, 2003</li>
1872
1873 <li>
1874
1875 &quot;
1876
1877 Who needs horror movies when we have Microsoft?&quot;-- Christine Comaford, PC Week, 27 Sep 1995
1878 </li>
1879
1880 <li>
1881
1882 &quot;
1883
1884 Where do you want to go today?&nbsp; It doesn't matter, you're coming with us.&quot;-- Microsoft
1885 </li>
1886
1887 </ul>
1888 <hr>
1889 <p><b><u><a name="old_age"></a>Old Age</u></b></p>
1890 <ul>
1891 <li>&quot;Inside every older person is a younger person--wondering what the hell
1892 happened.--Cora Harvey Armstrong.</li>
1893 <li>&quot;The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.&quot;--Helen Hayes (at
1894 73)</li>
1895 <li>&quot;I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.&quot;--Janette
1896 Barber</li>
1897 <li>&quot;Things are going to get a lot worse before they get
1898 worse.&quot;--Lily Tomlin</li>
1899 <li>&quot;A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.&quot;--Carrie
1900 Snow</li>
1901 <li>&quot;Old age ain't no place for sissies.&quot;--Bette Davis</li>
1902 <li>&quot;Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts
1903 falling apart.&quot;--Caryn Leschen</li>
1904 </ul>
1905 <hr>
1906 <p><b><u><a name="pets_cats"></a>Pets, Cats</u></b></p>
1907 <ul>
1908 <li>"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast."--Unknown</li>
1909 <li>"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods.&nbsp; Cats have never
1910 forgotten this."--Unknown</li>
1911 <li>"Cats are smarter than dogs.&nbsp; You can't get eight cats to pull a sled
1912 through snow."--Jeff Valdez</li>
1913 <li>"As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat."--Ellen Perry Berkeley</li>
1914 <li>"Dogs come when they are called; cats take a message and get back to
1915 you later."--Mary Bly</li>
1916 <li>"Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good
1917 many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia."--Joseph
1918 Wood Krutch</li>
1919 <li>"There are many intelligent species in the universe.&nbsp; They are all
1920 owned by cats."--Unknown</li>
1921 <li>"I have studied many philosophers and many cats.&nbsp; The wisdom of cats is
1922 infinitely superior.&quot;--Hippolyte Taine</li>
1923 <li>"Dogs believe they are human.&nbsp; Cats believe they are God."--Unknown</li>
1924 <li>"You can train a cat to do anything it wants to do."--Unknown</li>
1925 </ul>
1926 <hr>
1927 <p><b><u><a name="philo_aristotle"></a>Philosophers, Aristotle</u></b></p>
1928 <ul>
1929 <li>"It is best that laws should be so constructed as to leave as little
1930 as possible to the decision of those who judge."--Aristotle, <i>Rhetoric</i></li>
1931 <li>"We are what we repeatedly do.&nbsp; Excellence, then is not an act, but a habit."--Aristotle</li>
1932 <li>"Moral excellence comes about as a result of habit.&nbsp; We become just by
1933 doing just acts, temperate by doing temperate acts, brave by doing brave acts."--Aristotle</li>
1934 <li>"Happiness is the exercise of vital powers along lines of excellence,
1935 in a life affording them scope."--Aristotle</li>
1936 </ul>
1937 <hr>
1938 <p><b><u><a name="philo_henry_david_thoreau"></a>Philosophers, Henry David
1939 Thoreau</u></b></p>
1940 <ul>
1941 <li>"There is no rule more invariable than that we are paid for our
1942 suspicions by finding what we suspect."--Henry David Thoreau</li>
1943 </ul>
1944 <hr>
1945 <p><b><u><a name="police_and_law_enforcement"></a>Police And Law Enforcement</u></b></p>
1946 <ul>
1947 <li>"The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out
1948 after you wear them awhile."--From a humorous e-mail entitled <i>Funny
1949 Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1950 <li>"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."--From a humorous e-mail
1951 entitled <i>Funny
1952 Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1953 <li>"So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can
1954 write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"--From a humorous e-mail entitled <i>Funny
1955 Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1956 <li>"Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it
1957 will help.&nbsp; Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"--From a humorous
1958 e-mail entitled <i>Funny
1959 Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1960 <li>"Warning!&nbsp; You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that
1961 again or I'll give you another ticket."--From a humorous e-mail entitled <i>Funny
1962 Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1963 <li>"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk
1964 or not.&nbsp; Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"--From a humorous e-mail entitled <i>Funny
1965 Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1966 <li>"Yeah, we have a quota.&nbsp; Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."--From a humorous e-mail entitled
1967 <i>Funny
1968 Police Quotes</i> received
1969 around 04/08/00.</li>
1970 <li>"Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."--From a humorous
1971 e-mail entitled <i>Funny
1972 Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1973 <li>"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore.&nbsp; We used to have quotas, but now
1974 we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."--From a humorous e-mail
1975 entitled <i>Funny
1976 Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1977 <li>"Just how big were those two beers?"--From a humorous e-mail
1978 entitled <i>Funny
1979 Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1980 <li>"In God we trust, all others are suspects."--From a humorous e-mail
1981 entitled <i>Funny
1982 Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1983 </ul>
1984 <hr>
1985 <p><b><u><a name="politfig_winston_churchill"></a>Political Figures, Winston
1986 Churchill</u></b></p>
1987 <ul>
1988 <li>"True genius resides in the capacity for evaluation of uncertain,
1989 hazardous, and conflicting information."--Winston Churchill</li>
1990 </ul>
1991 <hr>
1992 <p><b><u><a name="polit_fig_bill_hilary_clinton"></a>Political Figures, Bill And Hilary
1993 Clinton</u></b></p>
1994 <ul>
1995 <li>"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We
1996 are the president."--Hillary Clinton (commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents)</li>
1997 </ul>
1998 <hr>
1999 <p><b><u><a name="politfig_al_gore"></a>Political Figures, Al Gore</u></b></p>
2000 <ul>
2001 <li>"Y'all know how I feel about Al Gore--he's as dull as sober
2002 missionary sex with someone you know.&quot;--<i>Saturday Night Live</i> comedian
2003 impersonating President Bill Clinton, broadcast date 04/01/00.</li>
2004 <li>"A zebra
2005 does not change its spots."--Al Gore</li>
2006 </ul>
2007 <hr>
2008 <p><b><u><a name="politfig_henry_kissinger"></a>Political Figures, Henry
2009 Kissinger</u></b></p>
2010 <ul>
2011 <li>"There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full."--Henry Kissinger</li>
2012 <li>"Even paranoid people have enemies."--Henry Kissinger</li>
2013 </ul>
2014 <hr>
2015 <p><b><u><a name="politfig_colin_powell"></a>Political Figures, Colin Powell</u></b></p>
2016 <ul>
2017 <li>"Being responsible sometimes means pissing people off."--Colin
2018 Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i>.</li>
2019 <li>"Being responsible sometimes means pissing people off.&nbsp; Good leadership
2020 involves responsibility to the welfare of the group, which means that some
2021 people will get angry at your actions and decisions.&nbsp; It's inevitable, if you're
2022 honorable.&nbsp; Trying to get everyone to like you is a sign of mediocrity: you'll
2023 avoid the tough decisions, you'll avoid confronting the people who need to be
2024 confronted, and you'll avoid offering differential rewards based on differential
2025 performance because some people might get upset.&nbsp; Ironically, by procrastinating
2026 on the difficult choices, by trying not to get anyone mad, and by treating
2027 everyone equally 'nicely' regardless of their contributions, you'll simply
2028 ensure that the only people you'll wind up angering are the most creative and
2029 productive people in the organization."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2030 presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2031 <li>"The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have
2032 stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help them or
2033 concluded that you do not care. Either case is a failure of leadership."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation,
2034 <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2035 <li>"The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have
2036 stopped leading them.&nbsp; They have either lost confidence that you can help them or
2037 concluded that you do not care.&nbsp; Either case is a failure of leadership.&nbsp;
2038 If this
2039 were a litmus test, the majority of CEOs would fail.&nbsp; One, they build so many
2040 barriers to upward communication that the very idea of someone lower in the
2041 hierarchy looking up to the leader for help is ludicrous.&nbsp; Two, the corporate
2042 culture they foster often defines asking for help as weakness or failure, so
2043 people cover up their gaps, and the organization suffers accordingly.&nbsp; Real
2044 leaders make themselves accessible and available.&nbsp; They show concern for the
2045 efforts and challenges faced by underlings, even as they demand high standards.&nbsp;
2046 Accordingly, they are more likely to create an environment where problem
2047 analysis replaces blame."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership
2048 Primer</i></li>
2049 <li>"Don't be buffaloed by experts and elites.&nbsp; Experts often possess more
2050 data than judgment. Elites can become so inbred that they produce hemophiliacs
2051 who bleed to death as soon as they are nicked by the real world."--Colin
2052 Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2053 <li>"Don't be buffaloed by experts and elites.&nbsp; Experts often possess more
2054 data than judgment.&nbsp; Elites can become so inbred that they produce hemophiliacs
2055 who bleed to death as soon as they are nicked by the real world.&nbsp; Small companies
2056 and start-ups don't have the time for analytically detached experts.&nbsp; They don't
2057 have the money to subsidize lofty elites, either.&nbsp; The president answers the
2058 phone and drives the truck when necessary; everyone on the payroll visibly
2059 produces and contributes to bottom-line results or they're history.&nbsp; But as
2060 companies get bigger, they often forget who 'brought them to the dance':&nbsp; things
2061 like all-hands involvement, egalitarianism, informality, market intimacy,
2062 daring, risk, speed, agility.&nbsp; Policies that emanate from ivory towers often have
2063 an adverse impact on the people out in the field who are fighting the wars or
2064 bringing in the revenues.&nbsp; Real leaders are vigilant, and combative, in the face
2065 of these trends."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership
2066 Primer</i></li>
2067 <li>"Don't be afraid to challenge the pros, even in their own backyard."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation,
2068 <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2069 <li>"Don't be afraid to challenge the pros, even in their own backyard.&nbsp; Learn from the pros, observe them, seek them out as mentors and partners.&nbsp;
2070 But
2071 remember that even the pros may have leveled out in terms of their learning and
2072 skills.&nbsp; Sometimes even the pros can become complacent and lazy.&nbsp; Leadership does
2073 not emerge from blind obedience to anyone.&nbsp; Xerox's Barry Rand was right on
2074 target when he warned his people that if you have a yes-man working for you, one
2075 of you is redundant.&nbsp; Good leadership encourages everyone's evolution."--Colin
2076 Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2077 <li>"Never neglect details.&nbsp; When everyone's mind is dulled or distracted
2078 the leader must be doubly vigilant."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2079 presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2080 <li>"Never neglect details.&nbsp; When everyone's mind is dulled or distracted
2081 the leader must be doubly vigilant."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2082 presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2083 <li>&quot;Strategy equals execution.&nbsp; All the
2084 great ideas and visions in the world are worthless if they can't be implemented
2085 rapidly and efficiently.&nbsp; Good leaders delegate and empower others liberally, but
2086 they pay attention to details, every day.&nbsp; (Think about supreme athletic coaches
2087 like Jimmy Johnson, Pat Riley and Tony La Russa).&nbsp; Bad ones, even those who fancy
2088 themselves as progressive 'visionaries', think they're somehow `above'
2089 operational details.&nbsp; Paradoxically, good leaders understand something else: an
2090 obsessive routine in carrying out the details begets conformity and complacency,
2091 which in turn dulls everyone's mind.&nbsp; That is why even as they pay attention to
2092 details, they continually encourage people to challenge the process.&nbsp; They
2093 implicitly understand the sentiment of CEO leaders like Quad Graphic's Harry
2094 Quadracchi, Oticon's Lars Kolind and the late Bill McGowan of MCI, who all
2095 independently asserted that the job of a leader is not to be the chief
2096 organizer, but the chief dis-organizer.&quot;--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2097 presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2098 <li>"You don't know what you can get away with until you try."--Colin
2099 Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2100 <li>"You don't know what you can get away with until you try.&nbsp; You know the
2101 expression, 'it's easier to get forgiveness than permission'.&nbsp; Well, it's true.
2102 Good leaders don't wait for official blessing to try things out. They're
2103 prudent, not reckless.&nbsp; But they also realize a fact of life in most
2104 organizations: if you ask enough people for permission, you'll inevitably come
2105 up against someone who believes his job is to say 'no'. So the moral is, don't
2106 ask.&nbsp; Less effective middle managers endorsed the sentiment, 'If I haven't
2107 explicitly been told <i>yes</i>, I can't do it', whereas the good ones believed,
2108 `If I haven't explicitly been told <i>no</i>, I can.'&nbsp; There's a world of
2109 difference between these two points of view."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2110 presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2111 <li>"Keep looking below surface appearances.&nbsp; Don't shrink from doing so
2112 (just) because you might not like what you find."--Colin Powell, from a
2113 PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2114 <li>"Keep looking below surface appearances.&nbsp; Don't shrink from doing so
2115 (just) because you might not like what you find. 'If it ain't broke, don't fix
2116 it' is the slogan of the complacent, the arrogant or the scared.&nbsp; It's an excuse
2117 for inaction, a call to non-arms.&nbsp; It's a mind-set that assumes (or hopes) that
2118 today's realities will continue tomorrow in a tidy, linear and predictable
2119 fashion.&nbsp; Pure fantasy.&nbsp; In this sort of culture, you won't find people who
2120 pro-actively take steps to solve problems as they emerge.&nbsp; Here's a little tip:
2121 don't invest in these companies."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2122 presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2123 <li>"Organization doesn't really accomplish anything.&nbsp; Plans don't
2124 accomplish anything, either.&nbsp; Theories of management don't much matter.&nbsp;
2125 Endeavors
2126 succeed or fail because of the people involved.&nbsp; Only by attracting the best
2127 people will you accomplish great deeds."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2128 presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2129 <li>"Organization doesn't really accomplish anything.&nbsp; Plans don't
2130 accomplish anything, either.&nbsp; Theories of management don't much matter.&nbsp;
2131 Endeavors
2132 succeed or fail because of the people involved.&nbsp; Only by attracting the best
2133 people will you accomplish great deeds.&nbsp; In a brain-based economy, your
2134 best assets are people.&nbsp; We've heard this expression so often that it's become
2135 trite.&nbsp; But how many leaders really 'walk the talk' with this stuff?&nbsp; Too often,
2136 people are assumed to be empty chess pieces to be moved around by grand viziers,
2137 which may explain why so many top managers immerse their calendar time in deal
2138 making, restructuring and the latest management fad.&nbsp; How many immerse themselves
2139 in the goal of creating an environment where the best, the brightest, the most
2140 creative are attracted, retained and, most importantly, unleashed?"--Colin
2141 Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2142 <li>"Organization charts and fancy titles count for next to nothing."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation,
2143 <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2144 <li>"Organization charts and fancy titles count for next to nothing.&nbsp; Organization charts are frozen, anachronistic photos in a work place that ought
2145 to be as dynamic as the external environment around you.&nbsp; If people really
2146 followed organization charts, companies would collapse.&nbsp; In well-run
2147 organizations, titles are also pretty meaningless.&nbsp; At best, they advertise some
2148 authority, an official status conferring the ability to give orders and induce
2149 obedience.&nbsp; But titles mean little in terms of real power, which is the capacity
2150 to influence and inspire.&nbsp; Have you ever noticed that people will personally
2151 commit to certain individuals who on paper (or on the organization chart)
2152 possess little authority, but instead possess pizzazz, drive, expertise, and
2153 genuine caring for teammates and products?&nbsp; On the flip side, non-leaders in
2154 management may be formally anointed with all the perks and frills associated
2155 with high positions, but they have little influence on others, apart from their
2156 ability to extract minimal compliance to minimal standards."--Colin Powell,
2157 from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2158 <li>"Never let your ego get so close to your position that when your
2159 position goes, your ego goes with it."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2160 presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2161 <li>"Never let your ego get so close to your position that when your
2162 position goes, your ego goes with it.&nbsp; Too often, change is stifled by people who
2163 cling to familiar turfs and job descriptions.&nbsp; One reason that even large
2164 organizations wither is that managers won't challenge old, comfortable ways of
2165 doing things.&nbsp; But real leaders understand that, nowadays, every one of our jobs
2166 is becoming obsolete.&nbsp; The proper response is to obsolete our activities before
2167 someone else does.&nbsp; Effective leaders create a climate where people's worth is
2168 determined by their willingness to learn new skills and grab new
2169 responsibilities, thus perpetually reinventing their jobs.&nbsp; The most important
2170 question in performance evaluation becomes not, 'How well did you perform your
2171 job since the last time we met?' but, 'How much did you change it?'--Colin
2172 Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2173 <li>"Fit no stereotypes.&nbsp; Don't chase the latest management fads.&nbsp; The
2174 situation dictates which approach best accomplishes the team's mission."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation,
2175 <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2176 <li>"Fit no stereotypes.&nbsp; Don't chase the latest management fads.&nbsp; The
2177 situation dictates which approach best accomplishes the team's mission.&nbsp; Flitting
2178 from fad to fad creates team confusion, reduces the leader's credibility, and
2179 drains organizational coffers.&nbsp; Blindly following a particular fad generates
2180 rigidity in thought and action.&nbsp; Sometimes speed to market is more important than
2181 total quality.&nbsp; Sometimes an unapologetic directive is more appropriate than
2182 participatory discussion.&nbsp; Some situations require the leader to hover closely;
2183 others require long, loose leashes.&nbsp; Leaders honor their core values, but they
2184 are flexible in how they execute them.&nbsp; They understand that management
2185 techniques are not magic mantras but simply tools to be reached for at the right
2186 times."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2187 <li>"Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier."--Colin Powell, from a
2188 PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2189 <li>"Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.&nbsp; The ripple effect of a
2190 leader's enthusiasm and optimism is awesome.&nbsp; So is the impact of cynicism and
2191 pessimism.&nbsp; Leaders who whine and blame engender those same behaviors among their
2192 colleagues.&nbsp; I am not talking about stoically accepting organizational stupidity
2193 and performance incompetence with a 'what, me worry?' smile.&nbsp; I am talking about
2194 a gung-ho attitude that says 'we can change things here, we can achieve awesome
2195 goals, we can be the best.'&nbsp; Spare me the grim litany of the 'realist', give me
2196 the unrealistic aspirations of the optimist any day."--Colin Powell, from a
2197 PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2198 <li>"Powell's Rules for Picking People:&nbsp; Look for intelligence and
2199 judgment, and most critically, a capacity to anticipate, to see around corners.&nbsp;
2200 Also look for loyalty, integrity, a high energy drive, a balanced ego, and the
2201 drive to get things done."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership
2202 Primer</i></li>
2203 <li>"Powell's Rules for Picking People:&nbsp; Look for intelligence and
2204 judgment, and most critically, a capacity to anticipate, to see around corners.&nbsp;
2205 Also look for loyalty, integrity, a high energy drive, a balanced ego, and the
2206 drive to get things done.&nbsp; How often do our recruitment and hiring processes tap
2207 into these attributes?&nbsp; More often than not, we ignore them in favor of length of
2208 resume, degrees and prior titles.&nbsp; A string of job descriptions a recruit held
2209 yesterday seem to be more important than who one is today, what they can
2210 contribute tomorrow, or how well their values mesh with those of the
2211 organization.&nbsp; You can train a bright, willing novice in the fundamentals of your
2212 business fairly readily, but it's a lot harder to train someone to have
2213 integrity, judgment, energy, balance, and the drive to get things done.&nbsp; Good
2214 leaders stack the deck in their favor right in the recruitment phase."--Colin
2215 Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2216 <li>"Great leaders are almost always great simplifiers, who can cut
2217 through argument, debate and doubt, to offer a solution everybody can
2218 understand."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership
2219 Primer</i></li>
2220 <li>"Great leaders are almost always great simplifiers, who can cut
2221 through argument, debate and doubt, to offer a solution everybody can
2222 understand.&nbsp; Effective leaders understand the KISS principle, Keep It Simple,
2223 Stupid.&nbsp; They articulate vivid, over-arching goals and values, which they use to
2224 drive daily behaviors and choices among competing alternatives.&nbsp; Their visions
2225 and priorities are lean and compelling, not cluttered and buzzword-laden.&nbsp; Their
2226 decisions are crisp and clear, not tentative and ambiguous.&nbsp; They convey an
2227 unwavering firmness and consistency in their actions, aligned with the picture
2228 of the future they paint.&nbsp; The result: clarity of purpose, credibility of
2229 leadership, and integrity in organization."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2230 presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2231 <li>"Part I:&nbsp; 'Use the formula P=40 to 70, in which P stands for the
2232 probability of success and the numbers indicate the percentage of information
2233 acquired.'&nbsp; Part II: 'Once the information is in the 40 to 70 range, go with your
2234 gut'."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2235 <li>"Part I:&nbsp; 'Use the formula P=40 to 70, in which P stands for the
2236 probability of success and the numbers indicate the percentage of information
2237 acquired.'&nbsp; Part II: 'Once the information is in the 40 to 70 range, go with your
2238 gut.'&nbsp; Don't take action if you have only enough information to give you less
2239 than a 40 percent chance of being right, but don't wait until you have enough
2240 facts to be 100 percent sure, because by then it is almost always too late.&nbsp;
2241 Today, excessive delays in the name of information-gathering breeds
2242 'analysis
2243 paralysis.'&nbsp; Procrastination in the name of reducing risk actually increases
2244 risk."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2245 <li>"The commander in the field is always right and the rear echelon is
2246 wrong, unless proved otherwise."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2247 presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2248 <li>"The commander in the field is always right and the rear echelon is
2249 wrong, unless proved otherwise.&nbsp; Too often, the reverse defines corporate
2250 culture.&nbsp; This is one of the main reasons why leaders like Ken Iverson of Nucor
2251 Steel, Percy Barnevik of Asea Brown Boveri, and Richard Branson of Virgin have
2252 kept their corporate staffs to a bare-bones minimum--how about fewer than 100
2253 central corporate staffers for global $30 billion-plus ABB?&nbsp; Or around 25 and
2254 3 for multi-billion Nucor and Virgin, respectively?&nbsp; Shift the power and the
2255 financial accountability to the folks who are bringing in the beans, not the
2256 ones who are counting or analyzing them."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2257 presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2258 <li>"Have fun in your command.&nbsp; Don't always run at a breakneck pace.&nbsp;
2259 Take
2260 leave when you've earned it:&nbsp; Spend time with your families.&nbsp; Corollary: surround
2261 yourself with people who take their work seriously, but not themselves, those
2262 who work hard and play hard."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership
2263 Primer</i></li>
2264 <li>"Have fun in your command.&nbsp; Don't always run at a breakneck pace.&nbsp;
2265 Take
2266 leave when you've earned it:&nbsp; Spend time with your families.&nbsp; Corollary: surround
2267 yourself with people who take their work seriously, but not themselves, those
2268 who work hard and play hard.&nbsp; Herb Kelleher of Southwest Air and Anita Roddick of
2269 The Body Shop would agree: seek people who have some balance in their lives, who
2270 are fun to hang out with, who like to laugh (at themselves, too) and who have
2271 some non-job priorities which they approach with the same passion that they do
2272 their work.&nbsp; Spare me the grim workaholic or the pompous pretentious
2273 'professional'; I'll help them find jobs with my competitor."--Colin Powell,
2274 from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2275 <li>"Command is lonely."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership
2276 Primer</i> (quote probably from Truman)</li>
2277 <li>"Command is lonely.&nbsp; Harry Truman was right.&nbsp; Whether you're a CEO or
2278 the temporary head of a project team, the buck stops here.&nbsp; You can encourage
2279 participative management and bottom-up employee involvement, but ultimately the
2280 essence of leadership is the willingness to make the tough, unambiguous choices
2281 that will have an impact on the fate of the organization.&nbsp; I've seen too many
2282 non-leaders flinch from this responsibility.&nbsp; Even as you create an informal,
2283 open, collaborative corporate culture, prepare to be lonely."--Colin Powell,
2284 from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2285 <li>"Leadership is the art of accomplishing more than the science of
2286 management says is possible."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership
2287 Primer</i></li>
2288 </ul>
2289 <p><b><u>Note:</u></b>&nbsp; Colin Powell's presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i>,
2290 is available as a .ZIP'd PowerPoint presentation <a href="../../authindiv/dtashley/bad_management/powellonleadership.zip">here</a>.</p>
2291 <hr>
2292 <p><b><u><a name="politfig_dan_quayle"></a>Political Figures, Dan Quayle</u></b></p>
2293 <ul>
2294 <li>"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment.&nbsp; It's the
2295 impurities in our air and water that are doing it."--Former U.S.
2296 Vice-president Dan Quayle</li>
2297 <li>"I love California.&nbsp; I practically grew up in Phoenix."--Former U.S.
2298 Vice-president Dan Quayle</li>
2299 <li>"The loss of life will be irreplaceable."--Former U.S.
2300 Vice-president Dan Quayle</li>
2301 <li>"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have
2302 is that I didn't study my Latin harder in school so I could converse with those
2303 people."--Former U.S. Vice-president Dan Quayle</li>
2304 <li>"Hawaii is a unique state.&nbsp; It is a small state.&nbsp; It is a state that is
2305 by itself.&nbsp; It is different from the other 49 states.&nbsp; Well, all states are
2306 different, but it's got a particularly unique situation."--Former U.S.
2307 Vice-president Dan Quayle</li>
2308 </ul>
2309 <hr>
2310 <p><b><u><a name="politfig_ronald_reagan"></a>Political Figures, Ronald Reagan</u></b></p>
2311 <ul>
2312 <li>"I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked
2313 like if Moses had run them through the U.S. Congress."--Former U.S. President
2314 Ronald Reagan</li>
2315 </ul>
2316 <hr>
2317 <p><b><u><a name="polit_polit_doubletalk"></a>Politics, Political Doubletalk,
2318 Doubletalk</u></b></p>
2319 <ul>
2320 <li>"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of
2321 people."--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor</li>
2322 <li>"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."--Keppel
2323 Enderbery</li>
2324 <li>"If you let that sort of thing go on, your bread and butter will be
2325 cut right out from under your feet."--Former British foreign minister, Ernest
2326 Bevin</li>
2327 <li>"I have opinions of my own ... strong opinions ... but I don't always
2328 agree with them."--George Bush, former U.S President</li>
2329 <li>"We have to pause and ask ourselves how much clean air do we need?"--Lee
2330 Iacocca, former CEO, Chrysler Corp</li>
2331 <li>"I was provided with additional input that was radically different
2332 from the truth.&nbsp; I assisted in furthering that version."--Colonel Oliver North,
2333 from his Iran-Contra testimony</li>
2334 <li>"I haven't committed a crime.&nbsp; What I did was fail to comply with the
2335 law."--David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, (answering accusations that he
2336 failed to pay his taxes)</li>
2337 <li>"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates
2338 in the country."--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC</li>
2339 <li>"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."--Former French
2340 President Charles De Gaulle</li>
2341 <li>"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass,
2342 and I'm just the one to do it."--A congressional candidate in Texas</li>
2343 </ul>
2344 <hr>
2345 <p><b><u><a name="religion"></a>Religion</u></b></p>
2346 <ul>
2347 <li>"Absolute faith corrupts as absolutely as absolute power."--Eric Hoffer (1902 - 1983)
2348 </li>
2349 <li>"I contend we are both atheists, I just believe in one fewer god than you do.&nbsp;
2350 When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss
2351 yours."-- Stephen F. Roberts
2352 </li>
2353 <li>"It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save
2354 us."--Peter De Vries, novelist (1910-1993)
2355 </li>
2356 <li>"There are only two kinds of men: the righteous who believe themselves sinners;
2357 and the sinners who believe themselves righteous.--Blaise Pascal, philosopher and mathematician (1623-1662)
2358 </li>
2359 <li>"Moral certainty is always a sign of cultural inferiority.&nbsp; The more uncivilized the man,
2360 the surer he is that he knows precisely what is right and what is wrong.&nbsp;
2361 All human progress, even in morals, has been the work of men who have doubted the current moral values,
2362 not of men who have whooped them up and tried to enforce them.&nbsp; The truly civilized man is
2363 always skeptical and tolerant, in this field as in all others.&nbsp; His culture is based on
2364 'I am not too sure.'"-- H.L.Mencken, author (1880 - 1956)
2365 </li>
2366 <li>"Conceit is God's gift to little men."--Bruce Barton
2367 </li>
2368 <li>"To surrender to ignorance and call it God has always been premature, and it
2369 remains premature today."-- Isaac Asimov, author (1920 - 1992)
2370 </li>
2371 <li>"With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil
2372 things.&nbsp; But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion."-- Steven Weinberg (1933 - ),
2373 quoted in The New York Times, April 20, 1999
2374 </li>
2375 <li>"A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes."--James Feibleman
2376 </li>
2377 <li>"A superstition is a premature explanation that overstays its time."--George Iles
2378 </li>
2379 <li>"The divinity of Jesus is made a convenient cover for absurdity.&nbsp; Nowhere in the Gospels do we
2380 find a precept for Creeds, Confessions, Oaths, Doctrines, and whole carloads of other
2381 foolish trumpery that we find in Christianity."--John Adams (1735 -1826)
2382 </li>
2383 <li>"I do not find in orthodox Christianity one redeeming feature."--Thomas Jefferson (1743 -1826)
2384 </li>
2385 <li>"I have recently been examining all the known superstitions of the world, and do not find in
2386 our particular superstition (Christianity) one redeeming feature.&nbsp; They are all alike
2387 founded on fables and mythology."--Thomas Jefferson (1743 -1826)
2388 </li>
2389 <li>"The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being as his Father,
2390 in the womb of a virgin will be classified with the fable of the generation
2391 of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter.&nbsp; But we may hope that the dawn of reason
2392 and freedom of thought in these United States will do away with this
2393 artificial scaffolding and restore to us the primitive and genuine doctrines
2394 of this most venerated Reformer of human errors."--Thomas Jefferson (1743 -1826)
2395 </li>
2396 <li>"The Bible is not my book, and Christianity is not my religion.&nbsp; I could never give
2397 assent to the long, complicated statements of Christian
2398 dogma."--Abraham Lincoln (1809 -1865)
2399 </li>
2400 <li>"As to Jesus of Nazareth ... I think the system of Morals and his Religion,
2401 as he left them to us, the best the World ever saw or is likely to see; but I apprehend it
2402 has received various corrupting Changes, and I have, with most of the present
2403 Dissenters in England, some doubts as to his divinity."--Benjamin Franklin (1706 -1790)
2404 </li>
2405 <li>"The study of theology, as it stands in the Christian churches, is the study of nothing;
2406 it is founded on nothing; it rests on no principles; it proceeds by no authority; it has no data;
2407 it can demonstrate nothing; and it admits of no conclusion."--Thomas Paine (1737 -1809)
2408 </li>
2409 <li>"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason,
2410 and intellect has intended us to forgo their use."--Galileo Galilei, physicist and astronomer (1564-1642)
2411 </li>
2412 <li>"There was a time when religion ruled the world.&nbsp; It is known as the Dark
2413 Ages."--Ruth Hermence Green
2414 </li>
2415 <li>"We are taught to believe that there's an invisible man who lives in the sky,
2416 who has a list of 10 things he doesn't want you to do,
2417 who watches you every minute of every day, and if you do something he doesn't like,
2418 he's going to send you to a burning lake of fire ... forever.&nbsp; But He loves you.--George Carlin
2419 </li>
2420 <li>"To teach superstitions as truth is a most terrible thing."--Hypatia
2421 </li>
2422 <li>"If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it
2423 to."--Dorothy Parker - poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
2424 </li>
2425 <li>"I read the whole of the Bible, and apply common sense to it.&nbsp; Sorry to be so boring.&nbsp;
2426 Something which is said several thousand times (e.g. God is worried about the poor)
2427 I regard as more important than something which is said once (e.g. God thinks being gay
2428 incurs ritual pollution) or never (e.g. God doesn't approve of abortion).&nbsp; If
2429 I understand them correctly, the fundamentalists take the opposite approach:
2430 abortion is the most important issue, homosexuality the second most important,
2431 and feeding the poor doesn't matter at all."--Andrew Rilstone (Andrew@aslan.demon.co.uk)
2432 </li>
2433 <li>"Had I been present at the creation, I would have given some useful hints for the better
2434 ordering of the universe."--Alphonso the Wise (1221-1284)
2435 </li>
2436 <li>"What religion are you afflicted with?"--Unknown
2437 </li>
2438 <li>"Morality is the best of all devices for leading mankind by the nose."--Frederick Nietzsche, philosopher (1844-1900)
2439 </li>
2440 <li>"Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious
2441 conviction."--Blaise Pascal, philosopher, mathematician (1623-1662)
2442 </li>
2443 <li>"I do not pretend to be able to prove that there is no God.&nbsp; I equally cannot
2444 prove that Satan is a fiction.&nbsp; The Christian God may exist; so
2445 may the Gods of Olympus, or of ancient Egypt, or of Babylon.&nbsp; But no one of these
2446 hypotheses is more probable than any other: they lie outside the
2447 region of probable knowledge, and therefore there is no reason to consider any of
2448 them."--Lord Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)
2449 </li>
2450 <li>"The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose."--William Shakespeare, poet and dramatist (1564-1616)
2451 </li>
2452 <li>"Religion is an insult to human dignity.&nbsp; With or without it, you'd have good people doing
2453 good things and evil people doing bad things, but for good people to do bad things, it takes
2454 religion."--Steven Weinberg, physicist, Nobel Laureate (1933-)
2455 </li>
2456 <li>"Man is a marvelous curiosity ... he thinks he is the Creator's pet; he even believes the Creator loves him;
2457 has a passion for him; sits up nights to admire him; yes and watch over him and keep him out of
2458 trouble.&nbsp; He prays to him and thinks He listens.&nbsp; Isn't it a quaint idea."--Mark Twain,
2459 author and humorist (1835-1910)
2460 </li>
2461 <li>"One of the proofs of the immortality of the soul is that myriads have believed in
2462 it.&nbsp; They have also believed the world was flat."--Mark Twain, author and humorist (1835-1910)
2463 </li>
2464 <li>"I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious - unless
2465 he purposely shut the eyes of his mind and keep them shut by
2466 force."--Mark Twain, author and humorist (1835-1910)
2467 </li>
2468 <li>"Irreverence is another person's disrespect to your god; there isn't any word that tells what your
2469 disrespect to his god is."--Mark Twain, author and humorist (1835-1910)
2470 </li>
2471 <li>"I believe in God, only I spell it Nature."--Frank Lloyd Wright, architect (1867-1959)
2472 </li>
2473 <li>"We are all atheists about most of the gods that humanity has ever believed in.&nbsp; Some
2474 of us just go one god further."--Richard Dawkins, biologist, author, philosopher (1941-)
2475 </li>
2476 <li>"My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed."-Christopher Morley, writer (1890-1957)
2477 </li>
2478 <li>"So many gods, so many creeds, So many paths that wind and wind, While just the art of being kind is
2479 all the sad world needs."--Ella Wheeler Wilcox, poet (1850-1919)
2480 </li>
2481 <li>"No sooner had Jesus knocked over the dragon of superstition that Paul boldly set it on it's legs
2482 again in the name of Jesus."--George Bernard Shaw, writer, Nobel laureate (1856-1950)
2483 </li>
2484 <li>"If God created us in his own image, we have more than reciprocated."--Voltaire, philosopher (1694-1778)
2485 </li>
2486 <li>"If the gods listened to the prayers of men, all humankind would quickly perish since they constantly
2487 pray for many evils to befall one another."--Epicurus, philosopher (c. 341-270 BCE)
2488 </li>
2489 <li>"Nothing is more dreaded than the national government meddling with religion."--John Adams (1797-1801)
2490 </li>
2491 <li>"Faith is the great cop-out, the great excuse to evade the need to think and evaluate evidence.&nbsp; Faith
2492 is belief in spite of, even perhaps because of, the lack of evidence."--Richard Dawkins, biologist, author, philosopher (1941-)
2493 </li>
2494 <li>"Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy."--H. L. Mencken, author (1880 - 1956)
2495 </li>
2496 <li>"Faith is a cop-out.&nbsp; If the only way you can accept an assertion is by faith,
2497 then you are conceding that it can't be taken on its own merits."--Dan Barker, "Losing Faith in Faith", 1992
2498 </li>
2499 <li>"If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?"--Unattributed
2500 </li>
2501 </ul>
2502 <hr>
2503 <p><b><u><a name="sci_mat_marie_curie"></a>Scientists And Mathematicians, Marie
2504 Curie</u></b></p>
2505 <ul>
2506 <li>&quot;Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be
2507 understood.&quot;--Marie Curie</li>
2508 </ul>
2509 <hr>
2510 <p><b><u><a name="sci_mat_edsger_dijkstra"></a>Scientists And Mathematicians, Edsger
2511 Dijkstra</u></b></p>
2512 <ul>
2513 <li>&quot;The question of whether computers can think is just
2514 like the question of whether submarines can swim.&quot;--Edsger W. Dijkstra</li>
2515 </ul>
2516 <hr>
2517 <p><b><u><a name="sci_mat_albert_einstein"></a>Scientists And Mathematicians, Albert
2518 Einstein</u></b></p>
2519 <ul>
2520 <li>&quot;We are all very ignorant, but not all ignorant of the same
2521 things.&quot;--Albert Einstein</li>
2522 <li>"Thus I came -- despite the fact that I was the son of entirely irreligious (Jewish) parents --
2523 to a deep religiosity, which, however, found an abrupt ending at the age of 12.&nbsp; Through the
2524 reading of popular scientific books I soon reached the conviction that much in the stories
2525 of the bible could not be true.&nbsp; The consequence was a positively fanatic
2526 [orgy of] freethinking coupled with the impression that youth is intentionally
2527 being deceived by the state through lies; it was a crushing impression.&nbsp; Suspicion against every
2528 kind of authority grew out of this experience, a skeptical attitude towards the
2529 convictions which were alive in any specific social environment .... I cannot conceive
2530 of a personal God who would directly influence the actions of individuals ..."-- Albert Einstein,
2531 physicist (1879-1955) - August, 1927 -- Einstein Archive 48-380
2532 </li>
2533 <li>"Science without religion is lame.&nbsp; Religion without science is blind."-Albert Einstein, physicist (1879-1955)
2534 at Science, Philosophy and Religion: a Symposium, 1941
2535 </li>
2536
2537 <li>
2538
2539 &quot;
2540
2541 Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.&quot;-- Albert Einstein, physicist (1879 - 1955)
2542 </li>
2543
2544 <li>
2545
2546 &quot;There are only two truly infinite things, the universe and stupidity.&nbsp;
2547 And I am unsure about the universe.&quot;--Albert Einstein, physicist (1879-1955)
2548 </li>
2549
2550 <li>
2551
2552 &quot;What terrifies us is not the explosive force of the atomic bomb, but the power of the wickedness of the human heart.&quot;--Albert Einstein, physicist (1879-1955)
2553 </li>
2554
2555 <li>
2556
2557 &quot;It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.&quot;--Albert Einstein, physicist (1879-1955)
2558 </li>
2559
2560 <li>
2561
2562 &quot;The more I study physics, the more I am drawn to metaphysics.&quot;--Albert Einstein,
2563 physicist (1879-1955)
2564 </li>
2565
2566 <li>
2567
2568 &quot;Definition of Insanity:&nbsp; Endlessly repeating the same process, hoping for a different result."--Albert Einstein
2569 </li>
2570
2571 <li>
2572
2573 &quot;Make things as simple as possible, but not simpler.&quot;--Albert Einstein, physicist (1879-1955)
2574 </li>
2575
2576 <li>
2577
2578 &quot;Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.&quot;--Albert Einstein, physicist (1879-1955)
2579 </li>
2580
2581 </ul>
2582 <hr>
2583 <p><b><u><a name="sci_mat_gh_hardy"></a>Scientists And Mathematicians, G.H.
2584 Hardy</u></b></p>
2585 <ul>
2586 <li>&quot;It is never worth a first class man's time to express a majority
2587 opinion.&nbsp; By definition, there are plenty of others to do that.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2588 <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2589 <li>&quot;For any serious purpose, intelligence is a very minor gift.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2590 <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2591 <li>&quot;Young men ought to be conceited:&nbsp; but they oughtn't to be
2592 imbecile."--G.H. Hardy (according to C.P. Snow in the foreword of <i>A
2593 Mathematician's Apology</i>, said after someone had tried to
2594 convince Hardy that <i>Finnegans Wake</i> was the final literary masterpiece.)</li>
2595 <li>&quot;Sometimes one has to say difficult things, but one ought to say them
2596 as simply as one knows how.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2597 <li>&quot;Statesmen despise publicists, painters despise art-critics, and
2598 physiologists, physicists, or mathematicians have usually similar feelings;
2599 there is no scorn more profound, or on the whole more justifiable, than that of
2600 the men who make for the men who explain.&nbsp; Exposition, criticism, appreciation,
2601 is work for second-rate minds.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2602 <li>&quot;... There is no one so stupid as to use this sort of language
2603 about mathematics.&nbsp; The mass of mathematical truth is obvious and imposing; its
2604 practical applications, the bridges and the steam engines and dynamos, obtrude
2605 themselves on the dullest imagination.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's
2606 Apology</i></li>
2607 <li>&quot;... Some egotism of this sort is inevitable, and I do not feel
2608 that it really needs justification.&nbsp; Good work is not done by 'humble' men.&nbsp;
2609 It is
2610 one of the first duties of a professor, for example, in any subject, to
2611 exaggerate a little both the importance of his subject and his own importance in
2612 it.&nbsp; A man who is always asking 'Is what I do worth while?' and 'Am I the right
2613 person to do it?' will always be ineffective himself and a discouragement to
2614 others.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2615 <li>&quot;... I am not suggesting that this is a defence which can be made
2616 by most people, since most people can do nothing at all well.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2617 <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2618 <li>&quot;... If a man has any genuine talent, he should be ready to make
2619 almost any sacrifice in order to cultivate it to the full.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A
2620 Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2621 <li>&quot;No mathematician should ever allow himself to forget that
2622 mathematics, more than any other art or science, is a young man's game.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2623 <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2624 <li>&quot;I do not know an instance of a major mathematical advance initiated
2625 by a man past fifty.&nbsp; If a man of mature age loses interest in and abandons
2626 mathematics, the loss is not likely to be very serious either for mathematics or
2627 for himself.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2628 <li>&quot;It is quite true that most people can do nothing well.&nbsp; If so, it
2629 matters very little what career they choose, and there is really nothing more to
2630 say about it.&nbsp; It is a conclusive reply, but hardly one likely to be made by a
2631 man with any pride; and I may assume that none of us would be content with
2632 it.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2633 <li>&quot;(Speaking with respect to mathematical achievement) ... What we
2634 do may be small, but it has a certain character of permanence; and to have
2635 produced anything of the slightest permanent interest, whether it be a copy of
2636 verses or a geometrical theorem, is to have done something utterly beyond the
2637 powers of the vast majority of men.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's
2638 Apology</i></li>
2639 <li>&quot;(Speaking with respect to mathematical achievement) ... In these
2640 days of conflict between ancient and modern studies, there must surely be
2641 something to be said for a study which did not begin with Pythagoras, and
2642 will not end with Einstein, but is the oldest and the youngest of
2643 all.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2644 <li>&quot;A man's first duty, a young man's at any rate, is to be
2645 ambitious.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2646 <li>&quot;... We must guard against a fallacy common apologists of
2647 science, the fallacy of supposing that the men whose work benefits humanity are
2648 thinking much of that while they do it ... There are many highly
2649 respectable motives that may lead men to prosecute research, but there are three
2650 which are much more important than the rest.&nbsp; The first (without which the rest
2651 must come to nothing) is intellectual curiosity, desire to know the truth.&nbsp;
2652 Then,
2653 professional pride, anxiety to be satisfied with one's performance, the shame
2654 that overcomes any self-respecting craftsman when his work is unworthy of his
2655 talent.&nbsp; Finally, ambition, desire for reputation, and the position, even the
2656 power or the money, which it brings.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's
2657 Apology</i></li>
2658 <li>&quot;If intellectual curiosity, professional pride, and ambition are the
2659 dominant incentives to research, then assuredly no one has a fairer chance of
2660 gratifying them then a mathematician.&nbsp; His subject is the most curious of
2661 all--there is none in which truth plays such odd pranks.&nbsp; It has the most
2662 elaborate and the most fascinating technique, and gives unrivalled openings for
2663 the display of sheer professional skill.&nbsp; Finally, as history proves abundantly,
2664 mathematical achievement, whatever its intrinsic worth, is the most enduring of
2665 all.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2666 <li>&quot;<i>Immortality</i> may be a silly word, but probably a mathematician
2667 has the best chance of whatever it may mean.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A
2668 Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2669 <li>&quot;... Farey is immortal because he failed to understand a theorem
2670 which Haros had proved perfectly fourteen years before ... But on the whole
2671 the history of science is fair, and this is particularly true in mathematics ...
2672 and the men who are remembered are almost always the men who merit
2673 it.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, pp. 81-82, citing instances
2674 where mathematical history was inaccurate</li>
2675 <li>&quot;It is sometimes suggested, by lawyers or politicians or business
2676 men, that an academic career is one sought mainly by cautious and
2677 unambitious persons who care primarily for comfort and security.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2678 <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p.82</li>
2679 <li>&quot;A mathematician, like a painter or a poet, is a maker of patterns.&nbsp;
2680 If
2681 his patterns are more permanent than theirs, it is because they are made with <i>ideas</i>.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2682 <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p.84</li>
2683 <li>&quot;... Beauty is the first test: there is no permanent place in the
2684 world for ugly mathematics.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p.85</li>
2685 <li>&quot;It may be very hard to <i>define</i> mathematical beauty, but that is
2686 just as true of beauty of any kind--we may not know quite what we mean by a
2687 beautiful poem, but that does not prevent us from recognizing one when we read
2688 it.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2689 <li>&quot;There are, to be sure, individuals for whom mathematics exercises a
2690 coldly impersonal attraction ...&nbsp; The aesthetic appeal of mathematics may be
2691 very real for a chosen few.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, quoting
2692 Hogben, p. 86</li>
2693 <li>&quot;The seriousness of a theorem, of course, does not <i>lie in</i> its
2694 consequences, which are merely the <i>evidence</i> for its seriousness.&nbsp; Shakespeare had an enormous influence on the development of the English
2695 language, Otway next to none, but that is not why Shakespeare was the better
2696 poet.&nbsp; He was the better poet because he wrote much better poetry.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2697 <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p.90</li>
2698 <li>&quot;The number of primes less than 1,000,000,000 is 50,847,478:&nbsp; that is
2699 enough for an engineer, and he can be perfectly happy without the rest.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2700 <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p.102</li>
2701 <li>&quot;Some measure of generality must be present in any high-class theorem,
2702 but <i>too much</i> tends inevitably towards insipidity.&nbsp; 'Everything is what it
2703 is, and not another thing', and the differences between things are quite as
2704 interesting as their resemblances.&nbsp; We do not choose our friends because they
2705 embody all the pleasant qualities of humanity, but because they are the people
2706 that they are.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p. 109</li>
2707 <li>&quot;It seems that mathematical ideas are arranged somehow in strata, the
2708 ideas in each stratum being linked by a complex of relations both among
2709 themselves and with those above and below.&nbsp; The lower the stratum, the deeper
2710 (and in general the more difficult) the idea.&nbsp; Thus the idea of an
2711 'irrational'
2712 is deeper than that of an integer ...&nbsp; Let us concentrate our attention on
2713 the relations between the integers, or some other group of objects lying in some
2714 particular stratum.&nbsp; Then it may happen that one of these relations can be
2715 comprehended completely, that we can recognize and prove, for example, some
2716 property of the integers, without any knowledge of the contents of lower strata
2717 ...&nbsp; But there are also many theorems about integers which we cannot
2718 appreciate properly, and still less prove, without digging deeper and
2719 considering what happens below.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, pp. 110-111</li>
2720 <li>&quot;We do not want many 'variations' in the proof of a mathematical
2721 theorem:&nbsp; 'enumeration of cases', indeed, is one of the duller forms of
2722 mathematical argument.&nbsp; A mathematical proof should resemble a simple and
2723 clear-cut constellation, not a scattered cluster in the Milky Way.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2724 <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p. 113</li>
2725 <li>&quot;It is sometimes suggested that pure mathematicians glory in the
2726 uselessness of their work, and make it a boast that it has no practical
2727 applications.&nbsp; The imputation is usually based on an incautious saying attributed
2728 to Gauss, to the effect that, if mathematics is the queen of the sciences, the
2729 the theory of numbers is, because of its supreme uselessness, the queen of
2730 mathematics--I have never been able to find an exact quotation.&nbsp; I am sure that
2731 Gauss's saying (if indeed it be his) has been rather crudely misinterpreted.&nbsp;
2732 If
2733 the theory of numbers could be employed for any practical and obviously
2734 honourable purpose, if it could be turned directly to the furtherance of human
2735 happiness of the relief of human suffering, as physiology and even chemistry
2736 can, the surely neither Gauss nor any other mathematician would have been so
2737 foolish as to decry or regret such applications.&nbsp; But science works for evil as
2738 well as for good (and particularly, of course in time of war); and both Gauss
2739 and lesser mathematicians may be justified in rejoicing that there is one
2740 science at any rate, and that their own, whose very remoteness from ordinary
2741 human activities should keep it gentle and clean.&quot;G.H. Hardy, <i>A
2742 Mathematician's Apology</i>, pp. 120-121</li>
2743 <li>&quot;I began by saying that there is probably less difference between the
2744 positions of a mathematician and of a physicist than is generally supposed, and
2745 that the most important seems to me to be this, that the mathematician is in
2746 much more direct contact with reality ... mathematical objects are so much
2747 more what they seem.&nbsp; A chair or a star is not in the least like what it seems to
2748 be; the more we think of it, the fuzzier its outlines become in the haze of
2749 sensation which surround it; but '2' or '317' has nothing to do with sensation,
2750 and its properties stand out the more clearly the more closely we scrutinize
2751 it.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, pp. 128-130</li>
2752 <li>&quot;It is the dull and elementary parts of applied mathematics, as it is
2753 the dull and elementary parts of pure mathematics, that work for good or ill.&nbsp;
2754 Time may change all this.&nbsp; No one foresaw the applications of matrices and groups
2755 and other purely mathematical theories to modern physics, and it may be that
2756 some of the 'highbrow' applied mathematics will become 'useful' in as unexpected
2757 a way;&nbsp; but the evidence so far points to the conclusion that, in one subject as
2758 in the other, it is what is commonplace and dull that counts for practical
2759 life.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p.132. (Written
2760 around 1940, this was an uncanny precursor to nuclear weaponry.)</li>
2761 <li>&quot;There is one comforting conclusion which is easy for a real
2762 mathematician.&nbsp; Real mathematics has no effects on war.&nbsp; No one has yet discovered
2763 any warlike purpose to be served by the theory of numbers or relativity, and it
2764 seems unlikely that anyone will do so for many years.&nbsp; It is true that there are
2765 branches of applied mathematics, such as ballistics and aerodynamics, which have
2766 been developed deliberately for war and demand a quite elaborate technique: it
2767 is perhaps hard to call them 'trivial', but none of them has any claim to rank
2768 as 'real'.&nbsp; They are indeed repulsively ugly and intolerably dull; even
2769 Littlewood could not make ballistics respectable, and if he could not who
2770 can?&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p. 140. (Written
2771 around 1940, this was an uncanny precursor to nuclear weaponry.&nbsp; Also, Snow
2772 writes in the foreword, pp. 39-40, &quot;Hardy's close friends were away at the
2773 war.&nbsp; Littlewood was doing ballistics as a Second Lieutenant in the Royal
2774 Artillery.&nbsp; Owing to his cheerful indifference he had the distinction of
2775 remaining a Second Lieutenant through the four years of the war.&quot;)</li>
2776 <li>&quot;... there are two sharply contrasted views about modern
2777 scientific war.&nbsp; The first and the most obvious is that the effect of science on
2778 war is merely to magnify its horror, both by increasing the sufferings of the
2779 minority who have to fight and by extending them to other classes.&nbsp; This is the
2780 most natural and the orthodox view.&nbsp; But there is a very different view which
2781 seems also quite tenable, and which has been stated with great force by Haldane
2782 in <i>Callinicus</i>.&nbsp; It can be maintained that modern warfare is <i>less</i>
2783 horrible than the warfare of pre-scientific times;&nbsp; the bombs are probably more
2784 merciful than bayonets;&nbsp; that lachrymatory gas and mustard gas are perhaps the
2785 most humane weapons yet devised by military science;&nbsp; and that the orthodox view
2786 rests solely on loose-thinking sentimentalism.&nbsp; It may also be urged (although
2787 this was not one of Haldane's theses) that the equalization of risks which
2788 science was expected to bring would be in the long run salutary;&nbsp; that a
2789 civilian's wife is not worth more than a soldier's, nor a woman's more than a
2790 man's;&nbsp; that anything is better than the concentration of savagery on one
2791 particular class;&nbsp; and that, in short, the sooner the war comes 'all out' the
2792 better.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p. 142</li>
2793 <li>&quot;When the world is mad, a mathematician may find in mathematics an
2794 incomparable anodyne.&nbsp; For mathematics is, of all the arts and sciences, the most
2795 austere and the most remote, and a mathematician should be for all men the one
2796 who can most easily take refuge where, as Bertrand Russell says, 'one at least
2797 of our nobler impulese can best escape from the dreary exile of the actual
2798 world'.&nbsp; It is a pity that is should be necessary to make one very serious
2799 reservation--he must not be too old.&nbsp; Mathematics is not a contemplative but a
2800 creative subject; no one can draw much consolation from it when he has lost the
2801 power or the desire to create; and that is apt to happen to a mathematician
2802 rather soon.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p. 143</li>
2803 <li>&quot;I cannot remember ever having wanted to be anything but a
2804 mathematician.&nbsp; I suppose that it was always clear that my specific abilities lay
2805 that way, and it never occurred to me to question the verdict of my elders.&nbsp;
2806 I do
2807 not remember having felt, as a boy, any <i>passion</i> for mathematics, and such
2808 notions as I may have had of the career of a mathematician were far from noble.&nbsp;
2809 I thought of mathematics in terms of examinations and scholarships:&nbsp; I wanted to
2810 beat other boys, and this seemed to be the way in which I could do so most
2811 decisively.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p. 144</li>
2812 <li>&quot;I had of course found at school, as every future mathematician does,
2813 that I could often do things much better than my teachers; and even at Cambridge
2814 I found, though naturally much less frequently, that I could sometimes do things
2815 better than the College lecturers.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's
2816 Apology</i>, p. 146-147</li>
2817 <li>&quot;It is plain now that my life, for what it is worth, is finished, and
2818 that nothing I can do can perceptibly increase or diminish its value.&nbsp; It is very
2819 difficult to be dispassionate, but I count it as a 'success';&nbsp; I have had more
2820 reward and not less than was due to a man of my particular grade of ability.&nbsp;
2821 I have held a series of comfortable and 'dignified' positions.&nbsp; I have had very
2822 little trouble with the duller routine of universities.&nbsp; I hate 'teaching', and
2823 have had to do very little, such teaching as I have done having been almost
2824 entirely supervision of research;&nbsp; I love lecturing, and have lectured a great
2825 deal to extremely able classes;&nbsp; and I have always had plenty of leisure for the
2826 researches which have been the one great permanent happiness of my life.&nbsp; I have
2827 found it easy to work with others, and have collaborated on a large scale with
2828 two exceptional mathematicians; and this has enabled me to add to mathematics a
2829 good deal more than I could reasonably have expected.&nbsp; I have had my
2830 disappointments, like any other mathematician, but none of them has been too
2831 serious or has made me particularly unhappy.&nbsp; If I had been offered a life
2832 neither better nor worse when I was twenty, I would have accepted without
2833 hesitation.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p. 149</li>
2834 <li>&quot;My choice was right, then, if what I wanted was a reasonably
2835 comfortable and happy life.&nbsp; But solicitors and stockbrokers and bookmakers often
2836 lead comfortable and happy lives, and it is very difficult to see how the world
2837 is richer for their existence.&nbsp; Is there any sense in which I can claim that my
2838 life has been less futile than theirs?&nbsp; It seems to me again that there is only
2839 one possible answer: yes, perhaps, but, if so, for one reason only.&nbsp; I have never
2840 done anything 'useful'.&nbsp; No discovery of mine has made, or is likely to make,
2841 directly or indirectly, for good or ill, the least difference to the amenity of
2842 the world.&nbsp; I have helped to train other mathematicians, but mathematicians of
2843 the same kind as myself, and their work has been, so far at any rate as I have
2844 helped them to it, as useless as my own.&nbsp; Judged by all practical standards, the
2845 value of my mathematical life is nil; and outside mathematics it is trivial
2846 anyhow.&nbsp; I have just one chance of escaping a verdict of complete triviality,
2847 that I may be judged to have created something worth creating.&nbsp; And that I have
2848 created something is undeniable: the question is about its value.&nbsp; The case for
2849 my life, then, or for that of any one else who has been a mathematician in the
2850 same sense in which I have been one, is this: that I have added something to
2851 knowledge, and helped others to add more; and that these somethings have a value
2852 which differs in degree only, and not in kind, from that of the creations of the
2853 great mathematicians, or of any of the other artists, great or small, who have
2854 left some kind of memorial behind them.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's
2855 Apology</i>, pp. 150-151</li>
2856 </ul>
2857 <p><b><u>Note:</u></b>&nbsp; As of May 11, 2003, Hardy's book, <i>A
2858 Mathematician's Apology</i>, is <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0521427061/qid=1052633115/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/102-8561334-0224108?v=glance&amp;s=books">available
2859 new from Amazon</a> for $11.90.&nbsp; Also as of May 11, 2003, there are <a href="http://half.ebay.com/cat/buy/prod.cgi?cpid=2943234&amp;meta_id=1">5
2860 copies available at Half.com</a> for as low as $6.12.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p>
2861 <hr>
2862 <p><b><u><a name="sci_mat_james_s_harris"></a>Scientists And Mathematicians, James S.
2863 Harris</u></b></p>
2864 <ul>
2865 <li>&quot;My peers are Gauss and Euler, not ANY of you.&quot;--James S. Harris, as
2866 the <i> SUBJ</i> field in a <i>sci.math</i> newsgroup post dated July 4, 2002</li>
2867 </ul>
2868 <hr>
2869 <p><b><u><a name="sci_mat_bertrand_russell"></a>Scientists And Mathematicians, Bertrand
2870 Russell</u></b></p>
2871 <ul>
2872 <li>&quot;One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief
2873 that one's work is terribly important.&quot;--Bertrand Russell</li>
2874 </ul>
2875 <hr>
2876 <p><b><u><a name="sci_mat_carl_sagan"></a>Scientists And Mathematicians, Carl
2877 Sagan</u></b></p>
2878 <ul>
2879 <li>&quot;One of the great commandments of science is:&nbsp; 'Mistrust arguments from
2880 authority.'&quot;--Carl Sagan</li>
2881 <li>&quot;Look again at that dot.&nbsp; That's here.&nbsp; That's home.&nbsp; That's us.&nbsp;
2882 On it
2883 everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human
2884 being who ever was, lived out their lives.&nbsp; The aggregate of our joy and
2885 suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines,
2886 every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of
2887 civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother
2888 and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every
2889 corrupt politician, every 'superstar', every 'supreme leader', every saint and
2890 sinner in the history of our species lived here--on a mote of dust suspended in
2891 a sunbeam.&quot;--Carl Sagan, precise source unknown</li>
2892 <li>&quot;The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena.&nbsp; Think of the rivers
2893 of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and
2894 triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot.&nbsp; Think
2895 of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel
2896 on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent
2897 their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent
2898 their hatreds.&quot;--Carl Sagan, precise source unknown</li>
2899 <li>&quot;Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some
2900 privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light.&nbsp;
2901 Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark.&nbsp; In our
2902 obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from
2903 elsewhere to save us from ourselves.&quot;--Carl Sagan, precise source unknown</li>
2904 <li>&quot;The Earth is the only world known so far to harbor life.&nbsp; There is nowhere
2905 else, at least not in the near future, to which our species could migrate.&nbsp;
2906 Visit, yes.&nbsp; Settle, not yet.&nbsp; Like it or not, for the moment the Earth is where we
2907 make our stand.&quot;--Carl Sagan, precise source unknown</li>
2908 <li>&quot;It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building
2909 experience.&nbsp; There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human
2910 conceits than this distant image of our tiny world.&nbsp; To me, it underscores our
2911 responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish
2912 the pale blue dot, the only home we've ever known."--Carl Sagan, <i>Pale
2913 Blue Dot</i>, publication details unknown</li>
2914
2915 <li>
2916
2917 &quot;
2918
2919 If you wish to make an apple pie truly from scratch, you must first invent the universe.&quot;-- Carl
2920 Sagan, astronomer, author (1934-1996)
2921 </li>
2922
2923 </ul>
2924 <hr>
2925 <p><b><u><a name="software_software_engineering_etc"></a>Software, Software Engineering,
2926 Etc.</u></b></p>
2927 <ul>
2928 <li>&quot;Can
2929 someone give a hint on how many lines of code a programmer can produce a day?&nbsp;
2930 I
2931 know that this depends on the language, etc., but I'm most interested in C/C++.&nbsp;
2932 On my most productive single day, the program I was working on had 3000 fewer
2933 lines than it did when I started.&quot;--quote which Dan Parks got from a newsgroup, source
2934 unknown</li>
2935 <li>&quot;A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved
2936 from a simple system that worked ... A complex system designed from scratch
2937 never works and cannot be patched up to make it work.&nbsp; You have to start over,
2938 beginning with a working simple system.&quot;--Grady Booch</li>
2939 <li>&quot;The trouble with many Software Engineering principles and methodologies
2940 is they don't concentrate on doing the time-consuming, difficult and error-prone
2941 process of getting the system requirements straightened out--instead relying on
2942 'well defined procedures' which are easy to specify, but don't help
2943 much when trying to understand what a system needs to accomplish--or more
2944 importantly, coaxing a non-technical project lead to devote his/her resources to
2945 spending time with the users.&quot;--Unknown</li>
2946 <li>&quot;I've been developing systems of varying complexity since 1990 and have yet to
2947 hear of a software engineering methodology which improves significantly on the
2948 basic principle of studying what the user needs, organizing it, adapting to
2949 change and implementing--usually in combination.&nbsp; UML isn't much more than a
2950 notational change to the entity/relationship/&quot;flowcharting&quot;/whatever we did a decade ago.&nbsp;
2951 The
2952 CASE tools have marginally improved since, but not markedly.&nbsp; But thats only my
2953 take on it ... no doubt I'm part of the problem.--Unknown</li>
2954 <li>&quot;Frankly, I figure the SEI rating stuff has a half-life of about 4 years, its
2955 got 5 or 6 more before it falls into the dustbin of antiquity.&nbsp; But, its in good
2956 company with TQM and all the other philosophies which aren't dealing with the
2957 hard problems.--<i>Possibly</i> from a book by Steve McConnell entitled <i>After
2958 The Gold Rush</i>, but probably from a review of the book.&nbsp; This quote forwarded to
2959 me by Dan Parks in November 2000.</li>
2960 <li>&quot;You can measure a programmer's perspective by noting his attitude on
2961 the continuing viability of FORTRAN.&quot;--Alan Perlis</li>
2962 <li>&quot;The bitterness of poor quality remains long after the sweetness of
2963 meeting the schedule has been forgotten.&quot;--Anonymous</li>
2964 <li>&quot;Requirements are like water. They're easier to build on when they're
2965 frozen.&quot;--Anonymous</li>
2966 <li>&quot;Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for
2967 the rest of your life.&quot;--Michael Sinz</li>
2968 <li>&quot;Bugs lurk in corners and congregate at boundaries.&quot;--Boris
2969 Beizer, <i>Software Testing Techniques</i></li>
2970 <li>&quot;In programming, it's often the 'buts' in the specification that kill
2971 you.&quot;--Boris Beizer, <i>Software Testing Techniques</i></li>
2972 <li>&quot;Poor management can increase software costs more rapidly than any
2973 other factor.&quot;--Barry Boehm</li>
2974 <li>&quot;It should be noted that no ethically-trained software engineer would
2975 ever consent to write a 'DestroyBaghdad' procedure.&nbsp; Basic professional ethics
2976 would instead require him to write a 'DestroyCity' procedure, to which 'Baghdad'
2977 could be given as a parameter.&quot;--Nathaniel S. Borenstein</li>
2978 <li>&quot;The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts
2979 agree, is by accident.&nbsp; That's where we come in; we're computer professionals.&nbsp;
2980 We
2981 cause accidents.&quot;--Nathaniel S. Borenstein</li>
2982 <li>&quot;Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a
2983 feature.&quot;--Bruce Brown</li>
2984 <li>&quot;The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a
2985 programmer is doing until it's too late.&quot;--Seymour Cray</li>
2986 <li>&quot;There are two ways of constructing a software design:&nbsp; One way is to
2987 make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is
2988 to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies.&nbsp; The first
2989 method is far more difficult.&quot;--C. A. R. Hoare</li>
2990 <li>&quot;Premature optimization is the root of all evil in
2991 programming.&quot;--C.
2992 A. R. Hoare</li>
2993 <li>&quot;Programming can be fun, so can cryptography; however they should not
2994 be combined.&quot;--Kreitzberg and Shneiderman</li>
2995 <li>&quot;The only thing more frightening than a programmer with a screwdriver
2996 or a hardware engineer with a program is a user with a pair of wire cutters and
2997 the root password.&quot;--Elizabeth Zwicky</li>
2998 <li>&quot;Programming without an overall architecture or design in mind is like
2999 exploring a cave with only a flashlight:&nbsp; you don't know where you've been, you
3000 don't know where you're going, and you don't know quite where you
3001 are.&quot;--Danny
3002 Thorpe</li>
3003 <li>&quot;Act in haste and repent at leisure; code too soon and debug
3004 forever.&quot;--Raymond Kennington</li>
3005 <li>&quot;At some point you have to decide whether you're going to be a
3006 politician or an engineer.&nbsp; You cannot be both.&nbsp; To be a politician is to champion
3007 perception over reality.&nbsp; To be an engineer is to make perception subservient to
3008 reality.&nbsp; They are opposites.&nbsp; You can't do both
3009 simultaneously.&quot;--H. W. Kenton</li>
3010 <li>&quot;'Don't fix it if it ain't broke' presupposed that you can't improve
3011 something that works reasonably well already.&nbsp; If the world's inventors had
3012 believed this, we'd still be driving Model A Fords and using
3013 outhouses.&quot;--H.
3014 W. Kenton</li>
3015 <li>&quot;There has never been an unexpectedly short debugging period in the
3016 history of computers.&quot;--Steven Levy</li>
3017 <li>&quot;An interactive debugger is an outstanding example of what is not
3018 needed--it encourages trial-and-error hacking rather than systematic design,
3019 and also hides marginal people barely qualified for precision
3020 programming.&quot;--Harald
3021 Mills</li>
3022 <li>&quot;We try to solve the problem by rushing through the design process so
3023 that enough time is left at the end of the project to uncover the errors that
3024 were made because we rushed through the design process.&quot;--Glenford J. Myers</li>
3025
3026 <li>
3027
3028 &quot;
3029
3030 Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.&quot;-- Frederick P. Brooks, Jr. [The Mythical Man-Month]
3031 </li>
3032
3033 <li>
3034
3035 &quot;
3036
3037 Hofstadter's Law:&nbsp; The time and effort required to complete a project are always more than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.&quot;
3038 </li>
3039
3040 </ul>
3041 <hr>
3042 <p><b><u><a name="sports_and_sports_figures"></a>Sports And Sports Figures</u></b></p>
3043 <ul>
3044 <li>&quot;Big names don't make me weak in the knees.&quot;--Taylor Dent</li>
3045 <li>&quot;The word <i>genius</i> isn't applicable in football.&nbsp; A genius is a
3046 guy like Norman Einstein.&quot;--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback and sports
3047 analyst</li>
3048 <li>&quot;I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my
3049 body.&quot;--Winston Bennett, Univ. of Kentucky basketball forward</li>
3050 <li>&quot;We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.&quot;--Jason Kidd,
3051 upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks</li>
3052 <li>&quot;... the genes almost always accurately reproduce.&nbsp; If they don't,
3053 you get one of the following results:&nbsp; One, monsters--that is, grossly malformed
3054 babies resulting from genetic mistakes.&nbsp; Years ago most monsters died, but now
3055 many can be saved.&nbsp; That has made possible the National Football League."--Cecil
3056 Adams</li>
3057 <li>&quot;Half this game is ninety percent mental.&quot;--Philadelphia Phillies
3058 manager Danny Ozark</li>
3059 </ul>
3060 <hr>
3061 <p><b><u><a name="unpl_wk_sit_bad_bosses_etc"></a>Unpleasant Work Situations, Bad Bosses,
3062 Etc.</u></b></p>
3063 <ul>
3064 <li>&quot;If you're unfortunate enough to have co-workers, you must learn how
3065 to manage them.&nbsp; Otherwise, like so many wildebeests on the plains of the
3066 Serengeti, they will be bumping into you, drinking from your water hole, and
3067 generally kicking up a lot of dust.&nbsp; That will cut into your
3068 happiness.&quot;--Scott
3069 Adams, <i>The Joy Of Work</i>.</li>
3070 <li>&quot;If you can decrease the unpleasantness that you experience at work,
3071 it's almost the same as giving yourself a raise.&quot;--Scott Adams, <i>The Joy
3072 Of Work</i>.</li>
3073 <li>&quot;I have yet to find the man, however exalted his station, who did not
3074 do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than
3075 under a spirit of criticism.&quot;--Charles M. Schwab</li>
3076 </ul>
3077 <hr>
3078 <p><b><u><a name="acknowledgements"></a>Acknowledgements</u></b></p>
3079 <p>Special thanks to Pinar Kondu, Lou Miller, Daniel R. Parks, Jim
3080 Weinfurther and Marilyn A. Ashley
3081 for quotes.</p>
3082 <hr>
3083 <p align="center" style="margin-top: -2; margin-bottom: -1"><font size="1">This
3084 web page is maintained by <a href="mailto:dtashley@users.sourceforge.net">David
3085 T. Ashley</a>.&nbsp; (All donations to this page are welcome, just <a href="mailto:dtashley@users.sourceforge.net">e-mail</a>
3086 them to me.)<br>
3087 Sound
3088 credit: <i>As Good As It Gets</i>.<br>$Header: /cvsroot/esrg/sfesrg/esrgweba/htdocs/devels/quote_farm/quote_farm.htm,v 1.16 2004/04/06 22:32:19 dtashley Exp $</font></p>
3089 <hr noshade size="5">
3090 </body>
3091
3092 </html>

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