/[dtapublic]/to_be_filed/sf_code/esrgweba/htdocs/devels/quote_farm/quote_farm.htm
ViewVC logotype

Annotation of /to_be_filed/sf_code/esrgweba/htdocs/devels/quote_farm/quote_farm.htm

Parent Directory Parent Directory | Revision Log Revision Log


Revision 138 - (hide annotations) (download) (as text)
Sun Jul 2 03:14:26 2017 UTC (6 years, 10 months ago) by dashley
File MIME type: text/html
File size: 150601 byte(s)
Add quote cited in Crew Resource Management book by Earl L. Wiener, Barbara G. Kanki,
and Robert L. Helmreich.  The citation was (NASA, 2003).  If use this quote, need to
find the NASA item.
1 dashley 23 <html>
2    
3     <head>
4     <title>The Quote Farm</title>
5     <base target="_self">
6     <bgsound src="../../gensounds/as_good_as_it_gets/stories.wav" loop="0">
7     </head>
8    
9     <body background="../../bkgnds/bk10.gif">
10    
11     <p align="center"><b><font size="4">The Quote Farm</font></b></p>
12     <hr>
13     <p>Each chapter of the book (a work in progress) begins with a quote.&nbsp; The
14     web page is a staging area for quotes that might potentially be used.&nbsp; The
15     Quote Farm was previously an appendix in the book, but it was removed and placed
16     here, since it will not appear in final revisions of the book.</p>
17     <hr>
18     <p><b><u>Bookmarks (To This Page)</u></b></p>
19     <ul>
20 dashley 138 <li><a href="#accident_investigation">Accident Investigation</a>
21 dashley 23 <li><a href="#attractiveness_female">Attractiveness, Female</a></li>
22     <li><a href="#aviation_and_space" target="_self">Aviation And Space</a></li>
23     <li><a href="#beer" target="_self">Beer</a></li>
24     <li><a href="#capitalism" target="_self">Capitalism</a></li>
25     <li><a href="#celeb_beaut_pag_cont" target="_self">Celebrities, Beauty Pageant
26     Contestants</a></li>
27     <li><a href="#celebrities_brooke_shields" target="_self">Celebrities, Brooke
28     Shields</a></li>
29     <li><a href="#celebrities_mariah_carey" target="_self">Celebrities, Mariah
30     Carey</a></li>
31     <li><a href="#censorship" target="_self">Censorship</a></li>
32     <li><a href="#computers_and_computing" target="_self">Computers And Computing</a></li>
33     <li><a href="#courage" target="_self">Courage</a></li>
34     <li><a href="#freedom_and_civil_liberties" target="_self">Freedom And Civil
35     Liberties</a></li>
36     <li><a href="#general_humor" target="_self">General Humor</a></li>
37     <li><a href="#hard_work" target="_self">Hard Work</a></li>
38     <li><a href="#hum_nat_soc_int" target="_self">Human Nature And Social
39     Interactions</a></li>
40     <li><a href="#histfig_napoleon" target="_self">Historical Figures, Napoleon</a></li>
41     <li><a href="#marriage_fav_manview" target="_self">Marriage (Favorable, From The Man's Point Of
42     View)</a></li>
43     <li><a href="#marriage_unfav_genderless" target="_self">Marriage (Unfavorable,
44     Genderless)</a></li>
45     <li><a href="#marriage_unfav_manview" target="_self">Marriage (Unfavorable, From The Man's Point Of
46     View)</a></li>
47     <li><a href="#microsoft" target="_self">Microsoft</a></li>
48     <li><a href="#old_age" target="_self">Old Age</a></li>
49     <li><a href="#pets_cats" target="_self">Pets, Cats</a></li>
50     <li><a href="#philo_aristotle" target="_self">Philosophers, Aristotle</a></li>
51     <li><a href="#philo_henry_david_thoreau" target="_self">Philosophers, Henry David
52     Thoreau</a></li>
53     <li><a href="#police_and_law_enforcement" target="_self">Police And Law
54     Enforcement</a></li>
55     <li><a href="#politfig_winston_churchill" target="_self">Political Figures, Winston
56     Churchill</a></li>
57     <li><a href="#polit_fig_bill_hilary_clinton" target="_self">Political Figures, Bill And Hilary
58     Clinton</a></li>
59     <li><a href="#politfig_al_gore" target="_self">Political Figures, Al Gore</a></li>
60     <li><a href="#politfig_henry_kissinger" target="_self">Political Figures, Henry
61     Kissinger</a></li>
62     <li><a href="#politfig_colin_powell" target="_self">Political Figures, Colin
63     Powell</a></li>
64     <li><a href="#politfig_dan_quayle" target="_self">Political Figures, Dan
65     Quayle</a></li>
66     <li><a href="#politfig_ronald_reagan" target="_self">Political Figures, Ronald
67     Reagan</a></li>
68     <li><a href="#polit_polit_doubletalk" target="_self">Politics, Political Doubletalk,
69     Doubletalk</a></li>
70     <li><a href="#religion" target="_self">Religion</a></li>
71     <li><a href="#sci_mat_marie_curie" target="_self">Scientists And Mathematicians, Marie
72     Curie</a></li>
73     <li><a href="#sci_mat_edsger_dijkstra" target="_self">Scientists And Mathematicians, Edsger
74     Dijkstra</a></li>
75     <li><a href="#sci_mat_albert_einstein" target="_self">Scientists And Mathematicians, Albert
76     Einstein</a></li>
77     <li><a href="#sci_mat_gh_hardy" target="_self">Scientists And Mathematicians,
78     G.H. Hardy</a></li>
79     <li><a href="#sci_mat_james_s_harris" target="_self">Scientists And Mathematicians, James S.
80     Harris</a></li>
81     <li><a href="#sci_mat_bertrand_russell" target="_self">Scientists And Mathematicians, Bertrand
82     Russell</a></li>
83     <li><a href="#sci_mat_carl_sagan" target="_self">Scientists And Mathematicians, Carl
84     Sagan</a></li>
85     <li><a href="#software_software_engineering_etc" target="_self">Software, Software Engineering,
86     Etc.</a></li>
87     <li><a href="#sports_and_sports_figures" target="_self">Sports And Sports
88     Figures</a></li>
89     <li><a href="#unpl_wk_sit_bad_bosses_etc" target="_self">Unpleasant Work Situations, Bad Bosses,
90     Etc.</a></li>
91     <li><a href="#acknowledgements" target="_self">Acknowledgements</a></li>
92     </ul>
93     <hr>
94 dashley 138 <p><b><u><a name="accident_investigation"></a>Accident Investigation</u></b></p>
95     <ul>
96     <li>&quot;Many accident investigations make the same mistake in defining causes.&nbsp;
97     They identify the widget that broke or malfunctioned, then locate the person most closely connected with the
98     technical failure: the engineer who miscalculated an analysis, the operator who missed signals or pulled
99     the wrong switches, the supervisor who failed to listen, or the manager who made bad decisions&nbsp;
100     When causal chains are limited to technical flaws and individual failures, the
101     ensuing responses aimed at preventing a similar event in the future are equally limited:
102     they aim to fix the technical problem and replace or retrain the individual responsible.&nbsp;
103     Such corrections lead to a misguided and potentially disastrous belief that the underlying
104     probem has been solved.&quot;--This appeared in a CRM book by Earl L. Wiener, Barbara G. Kanki, Robert L. Helmreich
105     and cites a 2003 NASA item, need to locate the item
106     </li>
107     </ul>
108     <hr>
109 dashley 23 <p><b><u><a name="attractiveness_female"></a>Attractiveness, Female</u></b></p>
110     <ul>
111     <li>&quot;She's got what I call bobsled looks: going downhill fast.&quot;--Craig Nova</li>
112     </ul>
113     <hr>
114     <p><b><u><a name="aviation_and_space"></a>Aviation And Space</u></b></p>
115     <ul>
116     <li>&quot;A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away.&nbsp; A
117     'great'
118     landing is one after which they can use the plane again."--Rules of the Air,
119     #8&nbsp; (This quote appeared in the signature of an e-mail by <a href="mailto:benny@bennyvision.com"> Chris
120     Bensend</a>. Chris was careful to point
121     out in subsequent correspondence that he was not the originator of the quote,
122     and is not sure where it comes from.)</li>
123     <li>&quot;A complex system has complex failure modes.&quot;--John J. Nance, ABC
124     aviation correspondent, commenting on February 1, 2003 on the loss of the space
125     shuttle <i>Columbia</i>.</li>
126     </ul>
127     <hr>
128     <p><b><u><a name="beer"></a>Beer</u></b></p>
129     <ul>
130     <li>&quot;He was a wise man who invented beer.&quot;--Plato</li>
131     <li>&quot;Work is the curse of the drinking class.&quot;--Oscar Wilde</li>
132     <li>&quot;Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be
133     happy.&quot;--Benjamin Franklin</li>
134     <li>&quot;If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it
135     makes beer shoot out your nose.&quot;--Deep Thought, Jack Handy</li>
136     <li>&quot;Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is
137     beer.&nbsp; Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel
138     does not go nearly as well with pizza.&quot;--Dave Barry</li>
139     <li>&quot;People who drink light 'beer' don't like the taste of beer; they just
140     like to pee a lot.&quot;--Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI</li>
141     <li>&quot;Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the
142     world.&quot;--Kaiser Wilhelm</li>
143     <li>&quot;Not all chemicals are bad.&nbsp; Without chemicals such as hydrogen and
144     oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in
145     beer.&quot;--Dave Barry</li>
146     <li>&quot;I drink to make other people interesting.&quot;--George Jean Nathan</li>
147     <li>&quot;They who drink beer will think beer.&quot;--Washington Irving</li>
148     <li>&quot;All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me so let's
149     just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.&quot;--Homer Simpson</li>
150     <li>&quot;A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank
151     her.&quot;--W.C. Fields</li>
152     </ul>
153     <hr>
154     <p><b><u><a name="capitalism"></a>Capitalism</u></b></p>
155     <ul>
156     <li>&quot;Companies come and go.&nbsp; It's ... part of the genius of
157     capitalism.&quot;--U.S. Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neill, in January of 2002, in
158     response to the bankruptcy filing by Enron</li>
159     <li>&quot;I've watched lots of corporations come and go.&nbsp; ... There are
160     very few companies that have been around for 40 or 50 years.&nbsp; ... Companies
161     come and go.&nbsp; It's part of the genius of capitalism.&nbsp; People get to make good
162     decisions or bad decisions, and they get to pay the consequences or to enjoy the
163     fruits of their decisions.&nbsp; That's the way the system works.&quot;--U.S. Treasury
164     Secretary Paul O'Neill, in January of 2002, in response to the bankruptcy filing
165     by Enron</li>
166     <li>&quot;I didn't think this was worthy of me running across the street and
167     telling the president.&nbsp; I don't go across the street and tell the president every
168     time somebody calls me.&quot;--U.S. Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neill, in January of
169     2002, defending his decision not to advise President Bush of Enron's financial
170     difficulties</li>
171     <li>&quot;... unless there's an issue related to the company that reaches
172     to public responsibility ... in the American capitalist system, companies
173     are responsible for their actions ...&nbsp; The company had a duty to inform its
174     shareholders and its employees about things that were going on inside the
175     company.&nbsp; That's not a federal government responsibility."--U.S. Treasury
176     Secretary Paul O'Neill, in January of 2002, defending his decision not to take
177     any federal action to help Enron as its stock price collapsed and it was forced
178     into bankruptcy</li>
179     </ul>
180     <hr>
181     <p><b><u><a name="celeb_beaut_pag_cont"></a>Celebrities, Beauty Pageant
182     Contestants</u></b></p>
183     <ul>
184     <li><b>Question:</b>&nbsp; &quot;If you could live forever, would you and why?&quot;&nbsp;
185     <b>Answer:</b>&nbsp; &quot;I
186     would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were
187     supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live
188     forever, which is why I would not live forever&quot;--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss
189     USA contest</li>
190     </ul>
191     <hr>
192     <p><b><u><a name="celebrities_brooke_shields"></a>Celebrities, Brooke Shields</u></b></p>
193     <ul>
194     <li>&quot;Smoking kills.&nbsp; If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of
195     your life.&quot;--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a
196     federal anti-smoking campaign.</li>
197     </ul>
198     <hr>
199     <p><b><u><a name="celebrities_mariah_carey"></a>Celebrities, Mariah Carey</u></b></p>
200     <ul>
201     <li>&quot;Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the
202     world, I can't help but cry.&nbsp; I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with
203     all those flies and death and stuff.&quot;--Mariah Carey</li>
204     </ul>
205     <hr>
206     <p><b><u><a name="censorship"></a>Censorship</u></b></p>
207     <ul>
208     <li>&quot;Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public
209     mind.&quot;--General William Westmoreland</li>
210     </ul>
211     <hr>
212     <p><b><u><a name="computers_and_computing"></a>Computers And Computing</u></b></p>
213     <ul>
214     <li>&quot;A computer lets you make mistakes faster than any other invention,
215     with the possible exception of handguns and Tequila.&quot;--Mitch Ratcliffe, as
216     quoted by <a href="mailto:bryanp@visi.com"> Bryan Packer</a></li>
217     <li>&quot;Programming, an artform that fights back.&quot;--<a href="mailto:adiaz@msi.net.ph">Anuerin G. Diaz</a></li>
218     <li>&quot;A distributed system is one in which the failure of a computer you
219     didn't even know existed can render your own computer unusable.&quot;--Les
220     Lamport, s
221     quoted in newsgroup post by <a href="mailto:rick@ox.compsoc.net"> Richard Heylen</a></li>
222     <li>&quot;Every program has at least one bug and can be reduced by at least one
223     line.&nbsp; By induction, then, every program can be reduced to a single instruction,
224     and that will be wrong.&quot;--From a newsgroup post by <a href="mailto:iddw@hotmail.com"> Dave Hansen</a>
225     in April 2003</li>
226    
227     <li>
228    
229     &quot;
230    
231     I invented the term 'Object Oriented' and I can tell you that I did not have C++ in mind.&quot;-- Alan Kay
232     </li>
233    
234     <li>
235    
236     &quot;
237    
238     Claiming Java is easier than C++ is like saying K2 is shorter than Everest.&quot;-- Larry O'Brien, editor
239     <i> Software Development</i>
240     </li>
241    
242     <li>
243    
244     &quot;
245    
246     A lot of people 'think' they understand C, but it is not only stranger than they imagine, it is stranger than they
247     'can' imagine.&quot;-- Richard A. O'Keefe
248     </li>
249    
250     <li>
251    
252     &quot;
253    
254     C is its own virus.&quot;-- Miguel Gallo
255     </li>
256    
257     <li>
258    
259     &quot;
260    
261     C gives you all the power of assembler ... along with the portability of assembler!&quot;--Unknown
262     </li>
263    
264     <li>
265    
266     &quot;
267    
268     Java is a very popular language-- surprisingly popular considering it doesn't seem to have learnt the lessons of Simula 67.&quot;-- Malcolm Atkinson
269     </li>
270    
271     <li>
272    
273     &quot;
274    
275     The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from.&quot;-- Andrew S. Tanenbaum
276     </li>
277    
278     <li>
279    
280     &quot;The debate over computer-assisted proofs is the high-end version of
281     arguments over using calculators in math classes—whether technology spurs
282     greater achievements by speeding rote calculations or deprives people of
283     fundamentals.&quot;--From an April 6, 2004 article in the New York Times (Web
284     Edition) entitled, &quot;<i>In Math, Computers Don't Lie.&nbsp; Or Do They</i>&quot;,
285     by Kenneth Chang
286     </li>
287    
288     </ul>
289     <hr>
290     <p><b><u><a name="courage"></a>Courage</u></b></p>
291     <ul>
292     <li>&quot;Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities ...
293     because it is the quality which guarantees all others.&quot;--Winston Churchill</li>
294     <li>&quot;The desire for safety stands against every great and noble
295     enterprise.&quot;--Tacitus, Roman historian</li>
296     <li>"One man with courage makes a majority."--Andrew Jackson</li>
297     <li>"What separates the winners from the losers is how a person reacts to
298     each new twist of fate."--Donald Trump</li>
299     <li>"No captain can do very wrong if he places his ship alongside that of
300     the enemy."--Admiral Horatio Nelson</li>
301     <li>&quot;[Admiral Nelson's counsel] guided me time and again.&nbsp; On the eve of
302     the critical battle of Santa Cruz, in which the Japanese ships outnumbered ours
303     more than two to one, I sent my task force commanders this dispatch: <i>ATTACK
304     REPEAT ATTACK</i>.&nbsp; They did attack, heroically, and when the battle was done, the
305     enemy turned away.&nbsp; All problems, personal, national, or combat, become smaller
306     if you don't dodge them, but confront them.&nbsp; Touch a thistle timidly, and it
307     pricks you; grasp it boldly, and its spines crumble.&nbsp; Carry the battle to the
308     enemy!&nbsp; Lay your ship alongside his!&quot;--Admiral William 'Bull' Halsey</li>
309     <li>&quot;Never forget that no military leader has ever become great without
310     audacity.&quot;--Karl von Clausewitz</li>
311     </ul>
312     <hr>
313     <p><b><u><a name="freedom_and_civil_liberties"></a>Freedom And Civil Liberties</u></b></p>
314     <ul>
315     <li>&quot;First they came for the political activists, and I didn't defend
316     them, because I wasn't an activist.&nbsp; Then they came for the gun owners, and I
317     didn't defend them, because I wasn't a gun owner.&nbsp; Then they came for the writers
318     and philosophers, and I didn't defend them, because I wasn't a writer or
319     philosopher.&nbsp; Then they came for me, and there was nobody left to defend
320     me.&quot;--Unknown</li>
321     <li>&quot;Those who would trade personal liberties in the name of security
322     shall have neither.&quot;--Ben Franklin</li>
323     <li>&quot;We've been singing the same song in this country for more than 200
324     years.&nbsp; It's a very good song, and I want to keep singing it.&nbsp; I'm very leery of
325     changing the lyrics.&quot;--Art Babbott, Flagstaff, Arizona City Council member,
326     who sponsored the December, 2002 resolution in Flagstaff urging federal
327     authorities to respect citizens' civil rights when fighting terrorism</li>
328     </ul>
329     <hr>
330     <p><b><u><a name="general_humor"></a>General Humor</u></b></p>
331     <ul>
332     <li>&quot;I hope I don't sound like an old-fashioned stick-in-the-mud, but when
333     I hear about people making vast fortunes without doing any productive work or
334     contributing anything to society, my reaction is: 'How can I get in on
335     that?'&quot;--Dave Barry</li>
336     <li>&quot;I may seem more arrogant, but I think that's just because you didn't
337     realize how arrogant I was before.&quot;--Jeffrey Hobbs, Tcl Ambassador, Ajuba
338     Solutions</li>
339     <li>&quot;Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same
340     reactions in the brain as marijuana.&nbsp; The researchers also discovered other
341     similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are.&quot;--Matt Lauer
342     on NBC's <i>Today</i> show</li>
343     <li>&quot;Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.&quot;--Gloria
344     Steinem.</li>
345     <li>&quot;I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from
346     them.&nbsp; There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians
347     were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves.&quot;--John Wayne</li>
348     <li>&quot;Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we
349     received notice that you passed away.&nbsp; May God bless you.&nbsp; You may reapply if
350     there is a change in your circumstances.&quot;--Department of Social Services,
351     Greenville, South Carolina</li>
352     <li>&quot;We apologize for the error in last week's paper in which we stated
353     that Mr. Arnold Dogbody was a defective in the police force.&nbsp; We meant, of
354     course, that Mr. Dogbody is a detective in the police farce.&quot;--Correction
355     Notice in the Ely Standard, a British newspaper</li>
356     <li>&quot;If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as
357     they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night.&nbsp; And the
358     next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record.&quot;--Mark S. Fowler,
359     FCC Chairman</li>
360     <li>&quot;Although small, silky sharks are bad news.&nbsp; They're nervous, they're
361     aggressive, and there's lots of them.&quot;--<i>Sharks In The Golden Triangle</i>,
362     CBC.</li>
363     <li>&quot;People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's
364     safer to harrass rich women than motorcycle gangs.&quot;--from a rubber stamp
365     purchased at <i>Chestnut Creek, Inc.</i> in Dearborn, Michigan, USA.</li>
366     <li>&quot;Theory may inform, but Practice convinces.&quot;--George Bain.</li>
367     <li>&quot;I used to be disgusted, now I find I'm just amused.&quot;--Elvis
368     Costello.</li>
369     <li>&quot;Heroic people have heroic flaws.&quot;--Unknown</li>
370     <li>&quot;The reason I rob banks is 'cause that's where the money
371     is.&quot;--Willie Sutton</li>
372     <li>&quot;A lot of you are making security products that are an attractive
373     nuisance.&nbsp; Shame on you.&nbsp; I want you to grow up.&nbsp; I want functions and assurances
374     in security devices.&nbsp; We do not beta test on customers.&nbsp; If my product fails,
375     someone might die.&quot;--Brian Snow, of the National Security Agency's Information
376     Systems Security Organization, speaking at the Black Hat Briefings security
377     conference</li>
378     <li>&quot;There are three kinds of people: the ones that learn by reading, the
379     few who learn by observation, and the rest of them who have to touch the fire to
380     see for themselves if it's really hot.&quot;--Unknown</li>
381     <li>&quot;A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into
382     theorems.&quot;--Paul Erdos</li>
383     <li>&quot;A person needs only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape.&nbsp; If it doesn't
384     move and it should, use the WD-40.&nbsp; If it moves and it shouldn't, use the
385     tape.&quot;--Unknown</li>
386     <li>&quot;Fame is vapor, popularity is an accident, riches take wings.&nbsp; Only one
387     thing endures and that is character.&quot;--Horace Greeley</li>
388     <li>&quot;My mother is such an alarmist, always worried!&nbsp; One little cough, and
389     she thinks I have pneumonia.&nbsp; One little headache, and she is sure that I have a
390     brain tumor.&nbsp; One little lie, and she thinks I am destined to be president
391     ... .&quot;--Unknown</li>
392     <li>&quot;Stupidity is a renewable resource.&quot;--Unknown</li>
393     <li>&quot;Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking
394     about.&quot;--Unknown</li>
395     <li>&quot;A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the
396     support of Paul.&quot;--G. B. Shaw</li>
397     <li>&quot;All human beings should try to learn before they die what they are
398     running from, and to, and why.&quot;--James Thurber</li>
399     <li>&quot;It is with rivers as it is with people: the greatest are not the most
400     agreeable nor the best to live with.&quot;--Henry van Dyke</li>
401     <li>&quot;Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow that
402     talent to the dark place where it leads.&quot;--Erica Jong</li>
403     <li>&quot;A government that is big enough to give you all you want is big
404     enough to take it all away.&quot;--Barry Goldwater</li>
405     <li>&quot;If a hole is in the wrong place, then no amount of digging is going
406     to put it in the right place.&quot;--Edward de Bono</li>
407     <li>&quot;Misers aren't fun to live with, but they make wonderful
408     ancestors.&quot;--David Brenner</li>
409     <li>&quot;One way to prevent progress is by arguing that any first step is
410     unfair to somebody.&quot;--Unknown</li>
411     <li>&quot;People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't
412     realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.&quot;--Calvin
413     (&amp; Hobbes)</li>
414     <li>&quot;Montreal winters are an intelligence test, and we who are here have
415     failed it.&quot;--Doug Camilli</li>
416     <li>&quot;Growing up, my mom always claimed to feel bad when a bird would slam
417     head-first into our living room window.&nbsp; If she <i>really</i> felt bad, though,
418     she'd have moved the bird feeder outside.&quot;--Rich Johnson</li>
419     <li>&quot;I realize that there are certain hardships that only females must
420     endure, such as childbirth, waiting in lines for public-restroom stalls, and a
421     crippling, psychotic obsession with shoe color.&nbsp; Also, females tend to reach
422     emotional maturity very quickly, so that by age 7 they are no longer capable of
423     seeing the humor in loud inadvertent public blasts of flatulence, whereas males
424     can continue to derive vast enjoyment from this well into their 80s.&quot;--Dave
425     Barry</li>
426     <li>"Disease generally begins that equality which death completes; the
427     distinctions which set one man so much above another are very little perceived
428     in the gloom of a sick chamber, where it will be vain to expect entertainment
429     from the gay, or instruction from the wise; where all human glory is
430     obliterated, the wit is clouded, the reasoner perplexed, and the hero subdued;
431     where the highest and brightest of mortal beings finds nothing left him but the
432     consciousness of innocence."--Samuel Johnson</li>
433     <li>"More and more, our relationship with the industrial food industry
434     begins to resemble the one it has with its chickens, pigs and cows.&nbsp; In exchange
435     for zero responsibility, we get zero control."--Kalle Lasn, <i>Culture Jam</i></li>
436     <li>"Es ist ein Bluff.&nbsp; Sie können Autos und Kühlschränke
437     bauen, aber keine Flugzeuge!"--Hermann Göring im Jahre 1941 über
438     die industriellen Fähigkeiten der U.S.A</li>
439     <li>"There's no such thing as a <i>pretty good</i> alligator wrestler."--Original source unknown:&nbsp;
440     reprinted in February 2001 Scientific
441     American, Steve Mirsky's column</li>
442     <li>"I'd rather work with someone who's good at their job but doesn't like
443     me, than someone who likes me but is a ninny."--Sam Donaldson, as reproduced
444     in the July 2001 <i>Reader's Digest</i></li>
445     <li>"Pain is candy for the focused mind."--Agent Bobby Hobbes (actor
446     Paul Ben-Victor) in <i>The Invisible Man</i>, air date July 27, 2001 on the
447     Sci-Fi Channel</li>
448     <li>
449     "The greatest tragedy in mankind's entire history may be the hijacking
450     of morality by religion.&nbsp; However valuable--even necessary--that may have been
451     in enforcing good behavior on primitive peoples, their association is now
452     counterproductive.&nbsp; Yet at the very moment when they should be decoupled,
453     sanctimonious nitwits are calling for a return to morals based on superstition."--Arthur C. Clarke</li>
454     <li>
455     "The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content."--Unknown
456     </li>
457     <li>
458     "I live in my own little world.&nbsp; But it's ok...they know me here. "--Unknown
459     </li>
460     <li>
461     "I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Implants?"'--Unknown
462     </li>
463     <li>
464     "I don't do drugs anymore 'cause I find I get the same effect just
465     standing up really fast."--Unknown
466     </li>
467     <li>
468     "Sign In Pet Store:&nbsp; 'Buy one dog, get one flea ..."--Unknown
469     </li>
470     <li>
471     "Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with."--Unknown
472     </li>
473     <li>
474     "I got a sweater for Christmas ... I wanted a screamer or a moaner."--Unknown
475     </li>
476     <li>
477     "I don't approve of political jokes ... I've seen too many of
478     them get elected."--Unknown
479     </li>
480     <li>
481     "There are two sides to every divorce:&nbsp; yours and shithead's."--Unknown
482     </li>
483     <li>
484     "If life deals you lemons, make lemonade;&nbsp; if it deals you tomatoes,
485     make Bloody Marys.&nbsp; But if it deals you a truckload of hand grenades ... now
486     THAT'S a message!!"--Unknown
487     </li>
488     <li>
489     "I love being married.&nbsp; It's so great to find that one special person
490     you want to annoy for the rest of your life."--Unknown
491     </li>
492     <li>
493     "Shopping tip:&nbsp; You can get shoes for 85 cents at the bowling alley."--Unknown
494     </li>
495     <li>
496     "I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect."--Unknown
497     </li>
498     <li>
499     "I married my wife for her looks ... but not the ones she's been
500     giving me lately!"--Unknown
501     </li>
502     <li>
503     "Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days
504     I've stayed alive."--Unknown
505     </li>
506     <li>
507     "Two peanuts were walking down the street.&nbsp; One was a salted."--Unknown
508     </li>
509     <li>
510     "Isn't it funny how the mood can be ruined so quickly by just one
511     busted condom?"--Unknown
512     </li>
513     <li>
514     "If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead
515     rabbits on the highway?"--Unknown
516     </li>
517     <li>
518     "Welcome To Shit Creek--Sorry, We're Out of Paddles!"--Unknown
519     </li>
520     <li>
521     "How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50
522     for Miss America?"--Unknown
523     </li>
524     <li>
525     "Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing
526     section in a swimming pool?"--Unknown
527     </li>
528     <li>
529     "Marriage changes passion ... suddenly you're in bed with a relative."--Unknown
530     </li>
531     <li>
532     "Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?"--Unknown
533     </li>
534     <li>
535     "The next time you feel like complaining remember:&nbsp; Your garbage
536     disposal probably eats better than thirty percent of the people in this world."--Unknown
537     </li>
538     <li>
539     "Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled."--Unknown
540     </li>
541     <li>
542     "Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words:&nbsp; 'Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's
543     been.'&quot;--Unknown
544     </li>
545     <li>
546     "I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone,
547     but they've always worked for me."--Hunter S. Thompson
548     </li>
549     <li>
550     "I speak Spanish to God, Italian to women, French to men, and German
551     to my dog."--Emporer Charles V
552     </li>
553     <li>
554     "It is unfortunate that the HP board has seemingly missed what the
555     company's stockholders have clearly recognized:&nbsp; that dissent is not disloyalty,
556     that healthy boards need not agree on every issue and that while the management
557     and board may run the company, the stockholders are the true owners of the
558     company."--Walter Hewlett, in a statement after not being reappointed to the
559     Hewlett-Packard board of directors in March of 2002 due to an adversarial
560     relationship with the company
561     </li>
562     <li>
563     "Be true to your teeth or they will be false to you."--Unknown
564     </li>
565     <li>
566     "An exclamation point is like laughing at your own joke."--F. Scott
567     Fitzgerald
568     </li>
569     <li>
570     "It is not enough to succeed.&nbsp; Others must fail."--Gore Vidal
571     </li>
572     <li>
573     "Nostalgia isn't what it used to be."--Unknown
574     </li>
575     <li>
576     "They call television a medium because nothing's well done."--Goodman Ace.
577     </li>
578     <li>
579     "Diplomacy is the art of saying 'nice doggie' 'till you can find a rock."--Wynn Catlin
580     </li>
581     <li>
582     "I'm worried that just as clothes dryers have the knack of making
583     socks disappear, the federal government has discovered a core competency of
584     losing computers."--Charles E. Grassley (R-Iowa) in an August 2002 letter to
585     Mitchell E. Daniels Jr., director of the Office of Management and Budget, in
586     response to a report that thousands of personal computers were lost within the
587     IRS
588     </li>
589     <li>
590     "You can't outrun Death forever.&nbsp; But you can make the Bastard work for it."--Major Korgo
591     Korgar, "Last of The Lancers", AFC 32&nbsp; (This quote
592     appeared as a slide starting the episode <i>Lava and Rockets, Episode \#213</i>
593     of the TV series <i>Andromeda</i> in 2002.&nbsp; It is not clear to me if this is a
594     real quote by a fictitious person (is Korgo Korgar real?) or whether it is based
595     on a real-life quote by another person, or whether it was created by the show's
596     writers.&nbsp; This needs to be researched.)
597     </li>
598     <li>
599     "Will someone please explain to me the logic that says we can trust
600     someone with a Boeing 747 in bad weather, but not with a Glock 9 millimeter?"--Senator Zell Miller, in 9/2002 in support of a measure allowing
601     the arming of airline pilots
602     </li>
603     <li>
604     "The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies,
605     the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of
606     animals I have ever seen.&nbsp; Thank God for the United States Marine Corps!"--Eleanor Roosevelt, First Lady of the United States, 1945
607     </li>
608     <li>
609     "You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white
610     guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the Swiss hold the Americas Cup, France is
611     accusing the U.S. of arrogance, and Germany doesn't want to go to war."--Unknown Author (Received via e-mail during operation
612     <i>Iraqi Freedom</i> on March 25, 2003.)
613     </li>
614     <li>
615     "Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine."--Author
616     unknown, in the footer of a newsgroup post by <a href="mailto:iddw@hotmail.com"> Dave Hansen</a>
617     in April 2003.
618     </li>
619     <li>
620     &quot;Every great scientific truth goes through three states:&nbsp; first,
621     people say it conflicts with the Bible; next, they say it has been discovered
622     before; lastly, they say they always believed it.&quot;---Louis Agassiz
623     (1807-1873), Swiss-born American naturalist.
624     </li>
625     <li>
626     &quot;Laugh and the world laughs with you.&nbsp; Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.&quot;--Laurie
627     Kuslansky
628     </li>
629     <li>
630     &quot;My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being, hitting my
631     head on the top bunk bed until I faint.&quot;--Erma Bombeck
632     </li>
633     <li>
634     &quot;A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.&quot;--Rhonda
635     Hansome
636     </li>
637     <li>
638     &quot;The phrase 'working mother' is redundant.&quot;--Jane Sellman
639     </li>
640     <li>
641     &quot;Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows.&quot;--Jennifer
642     Unlimited
643     </li>
644     <li>
645     &quot;Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half
646     as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.&quot;--Charlotte Whitton
647     </li>
648     <li>
649     &quot;I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at
650     once.&quot;--Jennifer Unlimited
651     </li>
652     <li>
653     &quot;If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible
654     warning.&quot;--Catherine
655     </li>
656     <li>
657     &quot;When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years
658     before they realized I actually had a hearing loss.&nbsp; And they called ME slow!&quot;--Kathy
659     Buckley
660     </li>
661     <li>
662     &quot;I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb ...
663     and I'm also not blonde.&quot;--Dolly Parton
664     </li>
665     <li>
666     &quot;If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.&quot;--Sue
667     Grafton
668     </li>
669     <li>
670     &quot;I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.&quot;--Roseanne
671     Barr
672     </li>
673     <li>
674     &quot;When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping.&nbsp; Men invade another
675     country.&quot;--Elayne Boosler
676     </li>
677     <li>
678     &quot;Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.&quot;--Maryon Pearson
679     </li>
680     <li>
681     &quot;In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man- if you want anything done,
682     ask a woman.&quot;--Margaret Thatcher
683     </li>
684     <li>
685     &quot;I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a
686     career.&quot;--Gloria Steinem
687     </li>
688     <li>
689     &quot;I am a marvelous housekeeper.&nbsp; Every time I leave a man I keep his house.&quot;--Zsa
690     Zsa Gabor
691     </li>
692     <li>
693     &quot;Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.&quot;--Eleanor
694     Roosevelt
695     </li>
696     <li>&quot;In this world there are only two tragedies; one is not getting what one wants,
697     the other is getting it.&quot;-- Oscar Wilde
698     </li>
699    
700     <li>&quot;It's so much easier to suggest solutions when you don't know too much about the problem.&quot;--Malcolm Forbes (1919 - 1990)
701     </li>
702    
703     <li>&quot;I have always wished that my computer would be as easy to use as my telephone.&nbsp;
704     My wish has come true.&nbsp; I no longer know how to use my telephone.&quot;--Bjarne Stroustrup, computer science professor, designer of C++ programming language (1950- )
705     </li>
706    
707     <li>&quot;In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.&quot;--Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914), The Devil's Dictionary
708     </li>
709    
710     <li>&quot;Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon filled with backup tapes.&quot;--Jim Gray, ACM Turing Award winner
711     </li>
712    
713     <li>&quot;A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against its government.&quot;--Edward Abbey, naturalist and author (1927-1989)
714     </li>
715    
716     <li>&quot;When governments fear the people there is liberty.&nbsp; When the people fear the government there is tyranny.&quot;--Thomas Jefferson, third US president, architect and author (1743-1826)
717     </li>
718    
719     <li>&quot;The hardest person to awaken is the one already awake.&quot;--Tagalog saying
720     </li>
721    
722     <li>&quot;Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.&quot;--Hanlon's Razor
723     </li>
724    
725     <li>&quot;It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.&quot;--James Thurber (1894 - 1961)
726     </li>
727    
728     <li>
729    
730     &quot;Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest.&quot;--Isaac
731     Asimov, author (1920 - 1992)
732     </li>
733    
734     <li>
735    
736    
737     &quot;Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status.&quot;--Laurence J. Peter (1919 - 1988)
738     </li>
739    
740     <li>
741    
742     &quot;Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses.&quot;--Unknown
743     </li>
744    
745     <li>
746    
747     &quot;Patriotism is the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons.&quot;--Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)
748     </li>
749    
750     <li>
751    
752     &quot;'My country, right or wrong,' is a thing that no patriot would think of saying except in a desperate case.&nbsp;
753     It is like saying, 'My mother, drunk or sober.'&quot; - G. K. Chesterton (1874 - 1936)
754     </li>
755    
756     <li>
757    
758     &quot;When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad, and that is my religion.&quot;--Abraham Lincoln, US President (1809 - 1865) (attributed)
759     </li>
760    
761     <li>&quot;To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public.&quot;--Theodore Roosevelt, 26th US President (1858-1919)
762     </li>
763    
764     <li>
765    
766     &quot;Computers are useless.&nbsp; They can only give you answers.&quot;--Pablo Picasso, artist (1881 - 1973)
767     </li>
768    
769     <li>
770    
771     &quot;Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.&quot;--H. L. Mencken, author (1880 - 1956)
772     </li>
773    
774     <li>
775    
776     &quot;Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.&quot;--Lucius Annaeus Seneca, writer and philosopher (BCE 3-65 CE)
777     </li>
778    
779     <li>
780    
781     &quot;Finance is the art of passing money from hand to hand until it finally disappears.&quot;--Robert W. Sarnoff, RCA executive (1918-1997)
782     </li>
783    
784     <li>
785    
786     &quot;Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.&quot;--Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915)
787     </li>
788    
789     <li>
790    
791     &quot;There are 10<sup>11</sup> stars in the galaxy.&nbsp; That used to be a huge number.&nbsp;
792     But it's only a hundred billion.&nbsp; It's less than the national deficit!&nbsp;
793     We used to call them astronomical numbers.&nbsp; Now we should call them economical numbers.&quot;--Richard Feynman, physicist, Nobel laureate (1918-1988)
794     </li>
795    
796     <li>&quot;The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.&quot;--Samuel Butler (1835 - 1902)
797     </li>
798    
799     <li>
800    
801     &quot;Never express yourself more clearly than you think.&quot;--Niels Bohr
802     </li>
803    
804     <li>
805    
806     &quot;A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn't.&quot;--Unknown
807     </li>
808    
809     <li>
810    
811     &quot;Sometimes I think we're alone in the universe, and sometimes I think we're not.&nbsp;
812     In either case, the idea is quite staggering.&quot;--Arthur C Clarke, science fiction writer (1917- )
813     </li>
814    
815     <li>
816    
817     &quot;Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.&quot;--Kin Hubbard (1868 - 1930)
818     </li>
819    
820     <li>
821    
822     &quot;Whenever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship.&quot;--Harry S Truman (1884 - 1972)
823     </li>
824    
825     <li>
826    
827     &quot;Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.&quot;--George Bernard Shaw, writer, Nobel laureate (1856-1950)
828     </li>
829    
830     <li>
831    
832     &quot;All of the books in the world contain no more information than is broadcast as video in a single large American city in a single year.&nbsp;
833     Not all bits have equal value.&quot;--Carl Sagan, astronomer, author (1934-1996)
834     </li>
835    
836     <li>
837    
838     &quot;The universe is not hostile, nor yet is it friendly.&nbsp; It is simply indifferent.&quot;--John Haynes&nbsp;
839     </li>
840    
841     <li>
842    
843     &quot;A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled.&quot;--Sir Barnett Cocks
844     </li>
845    
846     <li>
847    
848     &quot;Nature is trying very hard to make us succeed, but nature does not depend on us.&nbsp;
849     We are not the only experiment.&quot;--R. Buckminster Fuller, engineer, designer, and architect (1895-1983)
850     </li>
851    
852     <li>
853    
854     &quot;Speech is conveniently located midway between thought and action, where it often substitutes for both.&quot;--John Andrew Holmes, 20th-century American author, physician
855     </li>
856    
857     <li>
858    
859     &quot;Worry is interest paid on trouble before it comes due.&quot;--William R. Inge, clergyman, scholar, and author (1860-1954)
860     </li>
861    
862     <li>
863    
864     &quot;Assassination:&nbsp; The extreme form of censorship.&quot;--George Bernard Shaw, writer, Nobel laureate (1856-1950)
865     </li>
866    
867     <li>
868    
869     &quot;History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.&quot;--Abba Eban, Israeli diplomat (1915-)
870     </li>
871    
872     <li>&quot;Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get.&quot;--Anonymous
873     </li>
874    
875     <li>
876    
877     &quot;The measure of a man's real character is what he would do if he knew he would never be found out.&quot;--Thomas Babington Macaulay, author and statesman (1800-1859)
878     </li>
879    
880     <li>
881    
882     &quot;Life is one long process of getting tired.&quot;--Samuel Butler, British author
883     (1835-1902)
884     </li>
885    
886     <li>
887    
888     &quot;Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.&quot;--Confucius, philosopher and teacher (c. 551-478 BCE)
889     </li>
890    
891     <li>
892    
893     &quot;Never advise anyone to go to war or to marry.&quot;--Spanish Proverb
894     </li>
895    
896     <li>
897    
898     &quot;Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.&quot;--Philip K. Dick, author (1928-1982)
899     </li>
900    
901     <li>
902    
903     &quot;Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom.&nbsp; It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves.&quot;--William Pitt, British prime-minister (1759-1806)
904     </li>
905    
906     <li>
907    
908     &quot;The believer is happy; the doubter is wise.&quot;--Hungarian proverb&nbsp;
909     </li>
910    
911     <li>
912    
913     &quot;Skeptics laugh in order not to weep.&quot;--Anatole France, French author, critic and poet (1844-1924)
914     </li>
915    
916     <li>
917    
918     &quot;I take a simple view of living.&nbsp; It is keep your eyes open and get on with it.&quot;--Laurence Olivier, British actor
919     (1907-1989)
920     </li>
921    
922     <li>
923    
924     &quot;In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life:&nbsp; it goes on.&quot;--Robert Frost, poet (1874-1963)
925     </li>
926    
927     <li>
928    
929     &quot;There are some that only employ words for the purpose of disguising their thoughts.&quot;--Voltaire, philosopher (1694-1778)
930     </li>
931    
932     <li>
933    
934     &quot;I have learnt silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers.&quot;--
935     Kahlil Gibran, mystic, poet and artist (1883-1931)
936     </li>
937    
938     <li>
939    
940     &quot;Human beings are the only creatures who are able to behave irrationally in the name of reason.&quot;--Ashley
941     Montagu, English anthropologist (1905-1999)
942     </li>
943    
944     <li>
945    
946     &quot;Those are my principles.&nbsp; If you don't like them I have others.&quot;--Groucho Marx, comedian (1890-1977)
947     </li>
948    
949     <li>
950    
951     &quot;Always remember that you are unique.&nbsp; Just like everyone else.&quot;--Unattributed
952     </li>
953    
954     <li>
955    
956     &quot;Perfection is attained by slow degrees; it requires the hand of time.&quot;--Voltaire, philosopher (1694-1778)
957     </li>
958    
959     <li>
960    
961     &quot;There's this thing called being so open-minded your brains drop out.&quot;--Richard Dawkins, biologist, author, philosopher (1941-)
962     </li>
963    
964     <li>
965    
966     &quot;All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.&quot;--Sean
967     O'Casey, playwright (1880-1964)
968     </li>
969    
970     <li>
971    
972     &quot;Every man is a damned fool for at least five minutes every day.&nbsp; Wisdom consists in not exceeding the
973     limit.&quot;--Elbert Hubbard, author, editor, printer (1856-1915)
974     </li>
975    
976     <li>
977    
978     &quot;War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.&quot;--Ambrose Bierce, writer (1842-1914)
979     </li>
980    
981     <li>
982    
983     &quot;Never confuse motion with action.&quot;--Benjamin Franklin, statesman, author, and inventor (1706-1790)
984     </li>
985    
986     <li>
987    
988     &quot;Dignity consists not in possessing honors, but in the consciousness that we deserve them.&quot;--Aristotle, philosopher (384-322 BCE)
989     </li>
990    
991     <li>
992    
993     &quot;To a man with a hammer, everything looks like a nail.&quot;--Mark Twain, author and humorist (1835-1910)
994     </li>
995    
996     <li>
997    
998     &quot;Make haste slowly.&quot;--Caesar Augustus, Roman emperor (63 BCE-14 CE)
999     </li>
1000    
1001     <li>
1002    
1003     &quot;It is a bit embarrassing to have been concerned with the human problem all one's life and find at the end that one has no more to offer by way of advice than
1004     'try to be a little kinder.'&quot;--Aldous Huxley, novelist (1894-1963)
1005     </li>
1006    
1007     <li>
1008    
1009     &quot;Our sun is one of 100 billion stars in our galaxy.&nbsp; Our galaxy is one of the billions of galaxies populating the universe.&nbsp;
1010     It would be the height of presumption to think that we are the only living things within that enormous immensity.&quot;--Wernher von Braun, rocket engineer (1912-1977)
1011     </li>
1012    
1013     <li>
1014    
1015     &quot;Experience teaches us to be most on our guard to protect liberty when the government's purpose is beneficent.&nbsp;
1016     Men born to freedom are naturally alert to repel invasion of their liberty by evil-minded rulers.&nbsp;
1017     The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding.&quot;--Louis Dembitz Brandeis, lawyer, judge, and writer (1856-1941)
1018     </li>
1019    
1020     <li>
1021    
1022     &quot;When great changes occur in history, when great principles are involved, as a rule the majority are wrong.&quot;--Eugene V. Debs, American Socialist
1023     (1855-1926)
1024     </li>
1025    
1026     <li>
1027    
1028     &quot;I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.&quot;--Brendan Francis Behan, playwright (1923-1964)
1029     </li>
1030    
1031     <li>
1032    
1033     &quot;It may be necessary temporarily to accept a lesser evil, but one must never label a necessary evil as good.&quot;--Margaret Mead, American anthropologist (1901-1978)
1034     </li>
1035    
1036     <li>
1037    
1038     &quot;Be master of your petty annoyances and conserve your energies for the big, worthwhile things.&nbsp;
1039     It isn't the mountain ahead that wears you out--it's the grain of sand in your shoe.&quot;--Robert Service, writer (1874-1958)
1040     </li>
1041    
1042     <li>
1043    
1044     &quot;Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral?&nbsp; It is because we are not the person involved.&quot;--Mark Twain, author and humorist (1835-1910)
1045     </li>
1046    
1047     <li>
1048    
1049     &quot;Money often costs too much.&quot;--Ralph Waldo Emerson, American essayist, poet and philosopher (1803-1882)
1050     </li>
1051    
1052     <li>
1053    
1054     &quot;By three methods we may learn wisdom:&nbsp; First, by reflection, which is noblest; second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third, by experience, which is the bitterest.&quot;--Confucius, philosopher and teacher (c. 551- 478 BCE)
1055     </li>
1056    
1057     <li>
1058    
1059     &quot;Until lions have their historians, tales of the hunt shall always glorify the hunter.&quot;--African
1060     proverb
1061     </li>
1062    
1063     <li>
1064    
1065     &quot;Life is a long lesson in humility.&quot;--James M. Barrie, writer (1860-1937)
1066     </li>
1067    
1068     <li>
1069    
1070     &quot;The man who is a pessimist before forty-eight knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.&quot;--Mark Twain, author (1835-1910)
1071     </li>
1072    
1073     <li>
1074    
1075     &quot;A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.&quot;--George Bernard Shaw, writer, Nobel laureate (1856-1950)
1076     </li>
1077    
1078     <li>
1079    
1080     &quot;A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs--jolted by every pebble in the road.&quot;--Henry Ward Beecher, preacher and writer (1813-1887)
1081     </li>
1082    
1083     <li>
1084    
1085     &quot;Lighthouses are more helpful than churches.&quot;--Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)
1086     </li>
1087    
1088     <li>
1089    
1090     &quot;Sometimes to remain silent is to lie.&quot;--Miguel de Unamuno, philosopher and writer (1864-1936)
1091     </li>
1092    
1093     <li>
1094    
1095     &quot;Excuse my dust.&quot;--Dorothy Parker's own epitaph - poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
1096     </li>
1097    
1098     <li>
1099    
1100     &quot;Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.&quot;--Dorothy Parker - poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
1101     </li>
1102    
1103     <li>
1104    
1105     &quot;If all the girls in attendance were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.&quot;--Dorothy Parker responding to "Wasn't the Yale prom wonderful?" Poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
1106     </li>
1107    
1108     <li>
1109    
1110     &quot;You know, that woman speaks 18 languages, and she can't say 'no' in any of them.&quot;--Dorothy Parker - poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
1111     </li>
1112    
1113     <li>
1114    
1115     &quot;Brevity is the soul of lingerie.&quot;--Dorothy Parker - poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
1116     </li>
1117    
1118     <li>
1119    
1120     &quot;It's a small apartment, I've barely enough room to lay my hat and a few friends.&quot;--Dorothy Parker - poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
1121     </li>
1122    
1123     <li>
1124    
1125     &quot;One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.&quot;--Rita Mae Brown, author (1944- )
1126     </li>
1127    
1128     <li>
1129    
1130     &quot;When a man wants to murder a tiger he calls it sport; when the tiger wants to murder him he calls it ferocity.&quot;--George Bernard Shaw, writer, Nobel laureate (1856-1950)
1131     </li>
1132    
1133     <li>
1134    
1135     &quot;Don't discuss yourself, for you are bound to lose; if you belittle yourself, you are believed; if you praise yourself, you are disbelieved.&quot;--Michel de Montaigne, essayist (1533-1592)
1136     </li>
1137    
1138     <li>
1139    
1140     &quot;Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.&quot;--George Washington (1732-1799)
1141     </li>
1142    
1143     <li>
1144    
1145     &quot;Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful."--Samuel Johnson, English author, lexicographer (1709-1784)
1146     </li>
1147    
1148     <li>
1149    
1150     &quot;To have friends, you know, one need only be good-natured; but when a man has no enemy left there must be something mean about him.&quot;--Oscar Wilde, Anglo-Irish playwright, author (1854-1900)
1151     </li>
1152    
1153     <li>
1154    
1155     &quot;To have doubted one's own first principles is the mark of a civilized man.&quot;--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., poet, novelist, essayist, and physician (1809-1894)
1156     </li>
1157    
1158     <li>
1159    
1160     &quot;If I have been able to see further, it was only because I stood on the shoulders of giants.&quot;--Isaac Newton, mathematician, physicist (1642-1727)
1161     </li>
1162    
1163     <li>
1164    
1165     &quot;Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.&quot;--Will Durant, historian (1885-1981)
1166     </li>
1167    
1168     <li>
1169    
1170     &quot;Every woman is a 10; it just depends on what base you're counting in.&quot;--Unknown
1171     </li>
1172    
1173     <li>
1174    
1175     &quot;Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.&quot;--Abraham Lincoln, statesman, US President (1809-1865)
1176     </li>
1177    
1178     <li>
1179    
1180     &quot;Every society honors its live conformists and its dead troublemakers.&quot;--Mignon McLaughlin, author
1181     </li>
1182    
1183     <li>
1184    
1185     &quot;Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.&quot;--Arthur C. Clarke
1186     </li>
1187    
1188     <li>
1189    
1190     &quot;When men are most sure and arrogant, they are commonly the most mistaken.&quot;--David Hume, philosopher, historian (1711-1776)
1191     </li>
1192    
1193     <li>
1194    
1195     &quot;The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who, in time of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality.&quot;--Dante Alighieri, poet (1265 -1321)
1196     </li>
1197    
1198     <li>&quot;I long to accomplish a great and noble task; but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble.&quot;--Helen Keller, deaf & blind lecturer (1880-1968)
1199     </li>
1200    
1201     <li>
1202    
1203     &quot;I'm proud to pay taxes in the United States; the only thing is, I could be just as proud for half the money.&quot;--Arthur Godfrey
1204     </li>
1205    
1206     <li>
1207    
1208     &quot;Walking is also an ambulation of mind.&quot;--Gretel Ehrlich, novelist, poet, and essayist (1946- )
1209     </li>
1210    
1211     <li>
1212    
1213     &quot;Every saint has a past and every sinner a future.&quot;--Oscar Wilde, writer (1854-1900)
1214     </li>
1215    
1216     <li>&quot;Good judgment comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgment.&quot;--Rita Mae Brown, American writer and playwright
1217     </li>
1218    
1219     <li>
1220    
1221     &quot;People are like stained glass windows: they sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light within.&quot;--Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, psychiatrist and author (1926- )
1222     </li>
1223    
1224     <li>
1225    
1226     &quot;Too many have dispensed with generosity in order to practice charity.&quot;--Albert Camus (1913-1960)
1227     </li>
1228    
1229     <li>
1230    
1231     &quot;Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity.&quot;--Frank Leahy
1232     </li>
1233    
1234     <li>
1235    
1236     &quot;When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President.&nbsp; Now I'm beginning to believe
1237     it.&quot;--Clarence Darrow, lawyer, author (1857-1938)
1238     </li>
1239    
1240     <li>
1241    
1242     &quot;Since Auschwitz we know what man is capable of.&nbsp; And since Hiroshima we know what is at stake.&quot;--Viktor Frankl, author, neurologist and psychiatrist, Holocaust survivor (1905-1997)
1243     </li>
1244    
1245     <li>
1246    
1247     &quot;Choosing the lesser of two evils, is still choosing evil&quot;--Christopher Hampton, British playwright
1248     </li>
1249    
1250     <li>
1251    
1252     &quot;When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.&quot;--Mae West
1253     </li>
1254    
1255     <li>
1256    
1257     &quot;Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.&quot;--Abraham Lincoln, statesman, US President (1809-1865)
1258     </li>
1259    
1260     <li>
1261    
1262     &quot;Never mistake motion for action.&quot;--Ernest Hemingway, writer, journalist (1899-1961)
1263     </li>
1264    
1265     <li>
1266    
1267     &quot;The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing.&nbsp; If you can fake that, you've got it made.&quot;--Groucho Marx
1268     </li>
1269    
1270     <li>
1271    
1272     &quot;Love your enemies, for they tell you your faults.&quot;--Benjamin Franklin, statesman, philosopher, journalist (1706-1790)
1273     </li>
1274    
1275     <li>
1276    
1277     &quot;Pay attention to your enemies, for they are the first to discover your mistakes.&quot;--Antisthenes, Greek philosopher (ca 445- ca 365 BCE)
1278     </li>
1279    
1280     <li>
1281    
1282     &quot;Cannibals prefer those who have no spines.&quot;--Stanislaw Lem
1283     </li>
1284    
1285     <li>
1286    
1287     &quot;I was reading the dictionary.&nbsp; I thought it was a poem about everything.&quot;--Steven Wright, comedian (1955- ?)
1288     </li>
1289    
1290     <li>
1291    
1292     &quot;When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.&quot;--Mark Twain, writer, philosopher (1835-1910)
1293     </li>
1294    
1295     <li>
1296    
1297     &quot;The least initial deviation from the truth is multiplied later a thousand-fold.&quot;--Aristotle, philosopher (ca 384- ca 322 BCE)
1298     </li>
1299    
1300     <li> &quot;I didn't know he was one of the first lawyers!&nbsp; The first human who hurled an insult instead of a stone was the founder of civilization.&quot;--Sigmund Freud, neurologist, founder of psychoanalysis (1856-1939)
1301     </li>
1302    
1303     <li>
1304    
1305     &quot;Trust in Allah, but tie your camel.&quot;--Arabic saying
1306     </li>
1307    
1308     <li>
1309    
1310     &quot;In the midst of great joy, do not promise anyone anything.&nbsp; In the midst of great anger, do not answer anyone's letter.&quot;--Chinese proverb
1311     </li>
1312    
1313     <li>
1314    
1315     &quot;It is not what we do, but also what we do not do, for which we are accountable.&quot;--Moliere, playwright (1622-1673)
1316     </li>
1317    
1318     <li>
1319    
1320     &quot;When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.&nbsp;
1321     But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1322     </li>
1323    
1324     <li>
1325    
1326     &quot;I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1327     </li>
1328    
1329     <li>
1330    
1331     &quot;Familiarity breeds contempt--and children.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1332     </li>
1333    
1334     <li>&quot;Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1335     </li>
1336    
1337     <li>
1338    
1339     &quot;The past may not repeat itself, but it sure does rhyme.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1340     </li>
1341    
1342     <li>
1343    
1344     &quot;I have no color prejudices nor caste prejudices nor creed prejudices.&nbsp;
1345     All I care to know is that a man is a human being, and that is enough for me; he can't be any worse.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1346     </li>
1347    
1348     <li>
1349    
1350     &quot;Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1351     </li>
1352    
1353     <li>
1354    
1355     &quot;Duct tape is like the force.&nbsp; It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe
1356     together ...&quot;--Carl Zwanzig
1357     </li>
1358    
1359     <li>
1360    
1361     &quot;Be careful of reading health books, you might die of a misprint.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1362     </li>
1363    
1364     <li>
1365    
1366     &quot;There are three kinds of lies:&nbsp; lies, damn lies, and statistics.&quot;--Mark Twain (1835-1910)
1367     </li>
1368    
1369     <li>
1370    
1371     &quot;In America, anybody can be president.&nbsp; That's one of the risks you take.&quot;--Adlai Stevenson, statesman (1900-1965)
1372     </li>
1373    
1374     <li>
1375    
1376     &quot;There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.&quot;--Frank Zappa
1377     </li>
1378    
1379     <li>
1380    
1381     &quot;Black holes are where God divided by zero.&quot;--Steven Wright, comedian (1955- ?)
1382     </li>
1383    
1384     <li>
1385    
1386     &quot;If you believe everything you read, better not read.&quot;--Japanese proverb
1387     </li>
1388    
1389     <li>
1390    
1391     &quot;A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.&quot;--Oscar Wilde, writer (1854-1900)
1392     </li>
1393    
1394     <li>
1395    
1396     &quot;So you're the man who can't spell fuck.&quot;--Dorothy Parker to Norman Mailer (he had been convinced by his publisher to use "fug"
1397     instead) Poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
1398     </li>
1399    
1400     <li>
1401    
1402     &quot;You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think&quot;--Dorothy Parker - poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
1403     </li>
1404    
1405     <li>
1406    
1407     &quot;Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1408     </li>
1409    
1410     <li>
1411    
1412     &quot;We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech.&quot;--Kathleen Dixon, Director of women's studies department, Bowling Green State Univ. on disallowing the teaching of a course on Political Correctness
1413     </li>
1414    
1415     <li>
1416    
1417     &quot;Give me ambiguity or give me something else.&quot;--Unattributed
1418     </li>
1419    
1420     <li>
1421    
1422     &quot;Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.&quot;--Soren Kierkegaard, philosopher, theologian (1813-1855)
1423     </li>
1424    
1425     <li>
1426    
1427     &quot;We are not retreating--we are advancing in another direction.&quot;--General Douglas MacArthur (1880-1964)
1428     </li>
1429    
1430     <li>
1431    
1432     &quot;Adults are obsolete children.&quot;--Dr. Seuss (1904-1991)
1433     </li>
1434    
1435     <li>
1436    
1437     &quot;The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.&quot;--James Branch Cabell
1438     </li>
1439    
1440     <li>
1441    
1442     &quot;It should be done with the same degree of alacrity and nonchalance that you would display in authorizing a highly intelligent trained bear to remove your appendix.&quot;--Dan Greenberg
1443     </li>
1444    
1445     <li>
1446    
1447     &quot;To keep your marriage brimming,
1448     With love in the loving cup,
1449     Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
1450     Whenever you're right, shut up.&quot;--Ogden Nash, poet (1902-1971)
1451     </li>
1452    
1453     <li>
1454    
1455     &quot;Having served on various committees, I have drawn up a list of rules:
1456     · Never arrive on time; this stamps you as a beginner.
1457     · Don't say anything until the meeting is half over; this stamps you as being wise.
1458     · Be as vague as possible; this avoids irritating the others.
1459     · When in doubt, suggest that a subcommittee be appointed.
1460     · Be the first to move for adjournment; this will make you popular; it's what everyone is waiting for.&quot;--Harry Chapman
1461     </li>
1462    
1463     <li>
1464    
1465     &quot;Take care of those who work for you and you'll float to greatness on their achievements.&quot;--H.S.M. Burns
1466     </li>
1467    
1468     <li>
1469    
1470     &quot;A remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he is really very good in spite of all the people who say he is very good.&quot;--Robert Graves
1471     </li>
1472    
1473     <li>
1474    
1475     &quot;Television has done much for psychiatry, by spreading information about it as well as contributing to the need for it.&quot;--Alfred Hitchcock
1476     </li>
1477    
1478     <li>
1479    
1480     &quot;The first principle is that you must not fool yourself--and you are the easiest person to fool.&quot;--Richard Feynman, physicist (1918-1988)
1481     </li>
1482    
1483     <li>
1484    
1485     &quot;What if this weren't a hypothetical question?&quot;--Unattributed
1486     </li>
1487    
1488     <li>
1489    
1490     &quot;Everywhere is walking distance ... if you have the time.&quot;--Steven Wright, comedian (1955- ?)
1491     </li>
1492    
1493     <li>
1494    
1495     &quot;He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.&quot;--Chinese proverb
1496     </li>
1497    
1498     <li>
1499    
1500     &quot;It is not enough to have a good mind.&nbsp; The main thing is to use it well.&quot;--Rene Descartes, mathematician, philosopher (1596-1650) in "Le Discours de la Methode," 1637
1501     </li>
1502    
1503     <li>
1504    
1505     &quot;Experience is the comb life gives you after you lose your hair.&quot;--Judith Stearn
1506     </li>
1507    
1508     <li>
1509    
1510     &quot;Life is pleasant.&nbsp; Death is peaceful.&nbsp; It's the transition that's troublesome.&quot;--Isaac
1511     Asimov, science-fiction writer (1920-1992)
1512     </li>
1513    
1514     <li>
1515    
1516     &quot;It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.&quot;--Mark Twain, author and humorist (1835-1910)
1517     </li>
1518    
1519     <li>
1520    
1521     &quot;It is criminal to steal a purse, daring to steal a fortune, a mark of greatness to steal a crown.&nbsp;
1522     The blame diminishes as the guilt increases.&quot;--Johan Christoph Friedrich von Schiller, poet and dramatist (1759-1805)
1523     </li>
1524    
1525     <li>
1526    
1527     &quot;There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.&quot;--Mary Little
1528     </li>
1529    
1530     <li>
1531    
1532     &quot;I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.&quot;--Mae West
1533     </li>
1534    
1535     <li>
1536    
1537     &quot;I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage.&nbsp;
1538     They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.&quot;--Rita
1539     Rudner, comedian
1540     </li>
1541    
1542     <li>
1543    
1544     &quot;I know I am among civilized men because they are fighting so savagely.&quot;--Voltaire, write (1694-1778)
1545     </li>
1546    
1547     <li>
1548    
1549     &quot;If it's fact, it ain't brag.&quot;--Dizzy Dean
1550     </li>
1551    
1552     <li>
1553    
1554     &quot;By all means marry.&nbsp; If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.&nbsp; If you get a bad one, you'll become a
1555     philosopher.&quot;--Socrates, philosopher, teacher (ca 470- ca 399 BCE)
1556     </li>
1557    
1558     <li>
1559    
1560     &quot;I think ... I think it's in my basement.&nbsp; Let me go upstairs and check.&quot;--M.C. Escher, artist (1898-1972)
1561     </li>
1562    
1563     <li>
1564    
1565     &quot;Children aren't happy without something to ignore.&nbsp; And that's what parents were created for.&quot;--Ogden Nash, poet (1902-1971)
1566     </li>
1567    
1568     <li>
1569    
1570     &quot;I find that principles have no real force except when one is well fed.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, humorist (1835-1910)
1571     </li>
1572    
1573     <li>
1574    
1575     &quot;Say not, 'I have found the truth,' but rather, 'I have found a truth.&quot;--Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931)
1576     </li>
1577    
1578     <li>
1579    
1580     &quot;A leader who keeps his ear to the ground allows his rear end to become a target.&quot;--Angie Papadakis
1581     </li>
1582    
1583     <li>
1584    
1585     &quot;Science is built with facts as a house is with stones--but a collection of facts is no more a science than a heap of stones is a house.&quot;--Jules Henry Poincare (1854-1912)
1586     </li>
1587    
1588     <li>
1589    
1590     &quot;Wit is educated insolence.&quot;--Aristotle, philosopher (ca 384- ca 322 BCE)
1591     </li>
1592    
1593     <li>
1594    
1595     &quot;As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.&quot;--Josh Billings
1596     </li>
1597    
1598     <li>
1599    
1600     &quot;A practical man is a man who practices the errors of his forefathers.&quot;--Lord Beaconsfield
1601     </li>
1602    
1603     <li>
1604    
1605     &quot;Teachers open the door, but you must enter by yourself.&quot;--Chinese Proverb
1606     </li>
1607    
1608     <li>
1609    
1610     &quot;Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence of fear.&quot;--
1611     Mark Twain, author, humorist (1835-1910)
1612     </li>
1613    
1614     <li>
1615    
1616     &quot;Pessimist:&nbsp; One who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both.&quot;--
1617     Oscar Wilde, writer, playwright (1854-1900)
1618     </li>
1619    
1620     <li>
1621    
1622     &quot;There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness'.&quot;--Dave Barry
1623     </li>
1624    
1625     <li>
1626    
1627     &quot;There is far more opportunity than there is ability.&quot;--Thomas Edison, inventor (1847-1931)
1628     </li>
1629    
1630     <li>
1631    
1632     &quot;A great deal of intelligence can be invested in ignorance when the need for illusion is deep.&quot;--Saul Belloe
1633     </li>
1634    
1635     <li>
1636    
1637     &quot;I have one share in corporate Earth, and I am nervous about the management.&quot;--E.B. White
1638     </li>
1639    
1640     <li>
1641    
1642     &quot;They called me mad, and I called them mad, and damn them, they outvoted me.&quot;--Nathaniel Lee (on being consigned to a mental institution, circa 17th c.)
1643     </li>
1644    
1645     <li>
1646    
1647     &quot;There are two ways to slide easily through life: to believe everything or to doubt everything; both ways save us from thinking.&quot;--Theodore Rubin
1648     </li>
1649    
1650     <li>
1651    
1652     &quot;When you want to test the depths of a stream, don't use both feet.&quot;--Chinese Proverb
1653     </li>
1654    
1655     <li>
1656    
1657     &quot;A man does not have to be an angel in order to be saint.&quot;--Albert Schweitzer, theologian, philosopher, missionary, physician (1875-1965)
1658     </li>
1659    
1660     <li>
1661    
1662     &quot;Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone.&quot;--Pablo Picasso, artist (1881-1973)
1663     </li>
1664    
1665     <li>
1666    
1667     &quot;There is a point beyond which even justice becomes unjust.&quot;--Sophocles, slave, philosopher, teacher (ca 495? - ca 406 BCE)
1668     </li>
1669    
1670     <li>
1671    
1672     &quot;Television is an invention whereby you can be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your house.&quot;--David Frost
1673     </li>
1674    
1675     <li>
1676    
1677     &quot;A child on the farm sees a plane fly overhead and dreams of a faraway place.&nbsp;
1678     A traveler on the plane sees the farmhouse and thinks of home.&quot;--Carl Burns
1679     </li>
1680    
1681     <li>
1682    
1683     &quot;If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are gone, either write things worth reading or do things worth writing.&quot;--Benjamin Franklin, author, statesman (1706-1790)
1684     </li>
1685    
1686     <li>
1687    
1688     &quot;Adolescence is a period of rapid changes.&nbsp; Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent ages 20 years.&quot;--Changing Times magazine
1689     </li>
1690    
1691     <li>
1692    
1693     &quot;In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice.&nbsp; But, in practice, there is.&quot;--Jan L.A. van de Snepscheut
1694     </li>
1695    
1696     <li>
1697    
1698     &quot;An education isn't how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know.&nbsp;
1699     It's being able to differentiate between what you know and what you don't.&quot;--Anatole France
1700     </li>
1701    
1702     <li>
1703    
1704     &quot;It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.&quot;--Aristotle, philosopher (ca 384- ca 322 BCE)
1705     </li>
1706    
1707     <li>
1708    
1709     &quot;Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, humorist (1835-1910)
1710     </li>
1711    
1712     <li>
1713    
1714     &quot;When you say that you agree to a thing in principle, you mean that you have not the slightest intention of carrying it out.&quot;--Otto von Bismarck, 1st chancellor of German Empire (1815-1898)
1715     </li>
1716    
1717     <li>
1718    
1719     &quot;There are two things that you should never see being made: sausage, and... a political deal.&quot;--Otto von Bismarck (paraphrased) , 1st chancellor of German Empire (1815-1898)
1720     </li>
1721    
1722     <li>
1723    
1724     &quot;Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.&quot;--Ralph Waldo Emerson, essayist, poet (1803-1882)
1725     </li>
1726    
1727     <li>
1728    
1729     &quot;Lottery:&nbsp; a tax on people who are bad at math.&quot;--Unattributed
1730     </li>
1731    
1732     <li>
1733    
1734     &quot;The best index to a person's character is how he treats people who can't do him any good, and how he treats people who can't fight back.&quot;--Abigail Van Buren
1735     </li>
1736    
1737     <li>
1738    
1739     &quot;Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.&quot;--Abraham Lincoln
1740     </li>
1741    
1742     <li>
1743    
1744     &quot;A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines.&nbsp;
1745     With consistency, a great soul has simply nothing to do.&quot;--Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 -1882)
1746     </li>
1747    
1748     <li>
1749    
1750     &quot;All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.&quot;--Mark Twain (1835 -1910)
1751     </li>
1752    
1753     <li>
1754    
1755     &quot;When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?&quot;--Robin Williams
1756     </li>
1757    
1758     <li>
1759    
1760     &quot;Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft--and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.&quot;--Werner von Braun, rocket engineer (1912-1977)
1761     </li>
1762    
1763     </ul>
1764     <hr>
1765     <p><b><u><a name="hard_work"></a>Hard Work</u></b></p>
1766     <ul>
1767     <li>"The only place where <i>success</i> comes before <i>work</i> is in
1768     the dictionary."--Vidal Sassoon</li>
1769     </ul>
1770     <hr>
1771     <p><b><u><a name="hum_nat_soc_int"></a>Human Nature And Social Interactions</u></b></p>
1772     <ul>
1773     <li>"Anyone can be a barbarian; it requires a terrible effort to remain a
1774     civilized man."--Leonard Sidney Woolf</li>
1775     <li>"People start to diet when their stomachs stick out further than their
1776     dickiedoos."--Andy Sipowicz, \emph{NYPD Blue}.</li>
1777     <li>"Feeling guilty is one thing; looking guilty is something entirely
1778     different."--Dylan McCabe, \emph{Beverly Hills 90210}, airdate 04/00.</li>
1779     <li>"Unconfronted behavior will continue."--Unknown</li>
1780     <li>"It is easier to ask forgiveness than permission."--Unknown</li>
1781     <li>"How far you go in life, depends on your being Tender with the young,
1782     Compassionate with the Aged, Sympathetic with the Striving and Tolerant of the
1783     Weak and the Strong. Because, someday in life you will have been all of these."--George Washington Carver.</li>
1784     <li>"Simplicity of character is the natural result of profound thought."--From A Chinese Restaurant Fortune Cookie, 01/26/01
1785     </li>
1786     <li>"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds."--Ralph
1787     Waldo Emerson
1788     </li>
1789     </ul>
1790     <hr>
1791     <p><b><u><a name="histfig_napoleon"></a>Historical Figures, Napoleon</u></b></p>
1792     <ul>
1793     <li>&quot;[A]ny commander in chief who undertakes to carry out a plan which he
1794     considers defective is at fault; he must put forth his reasons, insist on the
1795     plan being changed, and finally tender his resignation rather than be the
1796     instrument of his army's downfall.&quot;--Napoleon</li>
1797     </ul>
1798     <hr>
1799     <p><b><u><a name="marriage_fav_manview"></a>Marriage (Favorable, From The Man's Point Of
1800     View)</u></b></p>
1801     <ul>
1802     <li>"A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that
1803     your wife will give you for free."--Anonymous</li>
1804     </ul>
1805     <hr>
1806     <p><b><u><a name="marriage_unfav_genderless"></a>Marriage (Unfavorable,
1807     Genderless)</u></b></p>
1808     <ul>
1809     <li>"Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement-ring, wedding-ring, suffer-ing.&quot;--Unknown</li>
1810     <li>"When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why. When a
1811     ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why."--Unknown</li>
1812     <li>"Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener."--Unknown</li>
1813     <li>"When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of
1814     one thing: either the car or the wife is new."--Unknown</li>
1815     </ul>
1816     <hr>
1817     <p><b><u><a name="marriage_unfav_manview"></a>Marriage (Unfavorable, From The Man's Point Of
1818     View)</u></b></p>
1819     <ul>
1820     <li>"Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not
1821     the only thing in life!"--Anonymous</li>
1822     <li>"An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she
1823     gets the more interested he is in her.&quot;--Agatha Christie</li>
1824     <li>"Bachelors should be heavily taxed.&nbsp; It is not fair that some men
1825     should be happier than others."--Oscar Wilde</li>
1826     <li>"Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper."--Scottish
1827     Proverb</li>
1828     <li>"I don't worry about terrorism.&nbsp; I was married for two years."--Sam
1829     Kinison</li>
1830     <li>"Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't,
1831     they'd be married too."--H. L. Mencken</li>
1832     <li>"Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later;
1833     for another thing, they die earlier."--H. L. Mencken</li>
1834     <li>"A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle."--U2</li>
1835     <li>"I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back."--Anonymous</li>
1836     <li>&quot;I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our
1837     anniversary?'&nbsp; She
1838     said, 'Somewhere I have never been!'&nbsp; I told her, 'How about the
1839     kitchen?'&quot;--Unknown</li>
1840     <li>"We always hold hands.&nbsp; If I let go, she shops."--Unknown</li>
1841     <li>"My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours.&nbsp; That was only for the estimate."--Unknown</li>
1842     <li>"She got a mudpack and looked great for two days.&nbsp; Then the mud fell off."--Unknown</li>
1843     <li>&quot;She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, 'Am I too late for the
1844     garbage?'&nbsp; Following her down the street I yelled, 'No, jump
1845     in!'&quot;--Unknown</li>
1846     <li>&quot;Badd Teddy recently explained to me why he refuses to ever get married.&nbsp;
1847     He said, 'the wedding rings look too much like minature handcuffs
1848     ...'&quot;--Unknown</li>
1849     <li>"If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at
1850     the front door, who do you let in first?&nbsp; The dog of course...!!!&nbsp; At least he'll
1851     shut up after you let him in!"--Unknown</li>
1852     <li>&quot;A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother
1853     and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man
1854     kneeling at a grave.&nbsp; The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and
1855     kept repeating,&nbsp; 'Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?'&nbsp; The first
1856     man approached him and said, 'Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private
1857     grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before.&nbsp; For
1858     whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?'&nbsp; The mourner took a moment to
1859     collect himself then replied, 'My wife's first husband.'&quot;--Unknown</li>
1860     <li>&quot;A couple came upon a wishing well.&nbsp; The husband leaned over, made a wish
1861     and threw in a penny.&nbsp; The wife decided to make a wish, too.&nbsp; But she leaned over
1862     too much; fell into the well and drowned.&nbsp; The husband was stunned for a while
1863     but smiled 'It really works!'&quot;--Unknown</li>
1864     <li>&quot;Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.&nbsp; After marriage,
1865     the 'y' becomes silent.&quot;--Unknown</li>
1866     </ul>
1867     <hr>
1868     <p><b><u><a name="microsoft"></a>Microsoft</u></b></p>
1869     <ul>
1870     <li>"Not using Microsoft products is like being a non-smoker 40 or 50
1871     years ago:&nbsp; you can choose not to smoke, yourself, but it's hard to avoid
1872     second-hand smoke."--M. Tiemann (from an e-mail footer belonging to
1873     Rick Moen--I do not know who M. Tiemann is)</li>
1874     <li>&quot;I sense much NT in you.&nbsp; NT leads to Bluescreen.&nbsp; Bluescreen
1875     leads to downtime.&nbsp; Downtime leads to suffering.&nbsp; NT is the path to the
1876     darkside.&nbsp; Powerful Unix is."--From an SSH mailing list post by <a href="mailto:lorenl@alzatex.com"> Loren
1877     Lang</a> in 12/2001.</li>
1878     <li>"The best way to accelerate a computer running Windows is at 9.8 m/sec<sup>2</sup>.&quot;--From an e-mail footer used by
1879     <a href="mailto:tlaane@lucent.com"> Thomas Laane</a> in 02/2002.</li>
1880     <li>&quot;Mr. Ballmer, Microsoft's chief executive, once referred to Linux's
1881     licensing as 'a cancer that attaches itself in an intellectual property sense to
1882     everything it touches.'&quot;--From a <a href="http://www.nytimes.com" target="_blank">New
1883     York Times</a> article by Thomas Fuller entitled <i>How Microsoft Warded Off Rival</i> on May 15,
1884     2003</li>
1885     <li>&quot;Failure is not an option, it comes bundled with your Microsoft
1886     product.&quot;--From an e-mail footer used by <a href="mailto:news@tux.com.au">Henry
1887     Phillips</a> in May, 2003</li>
1888    
1889     <li>
1890    
1891     &quot;
1892    
1893     Who needs horror movies when we have Microsoft?&quot;-- Christine Comaford, PC Week, 27 Sep 1995
1894     </li>
1895    
1896     <li>
1897    
1898     &quot;
1899    
1900     Where do you want to go today?&nbsp; It doesn't matter, you're coming with us.&quot;-- Microsoft
1901     </li>
1902    
1903     </ul>
1904     <hr>
1905     <p><b><u><a name="old_age"></a>Old Age</u></b></p>
1906     <ul>
1907     <li>&quot;Inside every older person is a younger person--wondering what the hell
1908     happened.--Cora Harvey Armstrong.</li>
1909     <li>&quot;The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.&quot;--Helen Hayes (at
1910     73)</li>
1911     <li>&quot;I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.&quot;--Janette
1912     Barber</li>
1913     <li>&quot;Things are going to get a lot worse before they get
1914     worse.&quot;--Lily Tomlin</li>
1915     <li>&quot;A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.&quot;--Carrie
1916     Snow</li>
1917     <li>&quot;Old age ain't no place for sissies.&quot;--Bette Davis</li>
1918     <li>&quot;Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts
1919     falling apart.&quot;--Caryn Leschen</li>
1920     </ul>
1921     <hr>
1922     <p><b><u><a name="pets_cats"></a>Pets, Cats</u></b></p>
1923     <ul>
1924     <li>"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast."--Unknown</li>
1925     <li>"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods.&nbsp; Cats have never
1926     forgotten this."--Unknown</li>
1927     <li>"Cats are smarter than dogs.&nbsp; You can't get eight cats to pull a sled
1928     through snow."--Jeff Valdez</li>
1929     <li>"As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat."--Ellen Perry Berkeley</li>
1930     <li>"Dogs come when they are called; cats take a message and get back to
1931     you later."--Mary Bly</li>
1932     <li>"Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good
1933     many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia."--Joseph
1934     Wood Krutch</li>
1935     <li>"There are many intelligent species in the universe.&nbsp; They are all
1936     owned by cats."--Unknown</li>
1937     <li>"I have studied many philosophers and many cats.&nbsp; The wisdom of cats is
1938     infinitely superior.&quot;--Hippolyte Taine</li>
1939     <li>"Dogs believe they are human.&nbsp; Cats believe they are God."--Unknown</li>
1940     <li>"You can train a cat to do anything it wants to do."--Unknown</li>
1941     </ul>
1942     <hr>
1943     <p><b><u><a name="philo_aristotle"></a>Philosophers, Aristotle</u></b></p>
1944     <ul>
1945     <li>"It is best that laws should be so constructed as to leave as little
1946     as possible to the decision of those who judge."--Aristotle, <i>Rhetoric</i></li>
1947     <li>"We are what we repeatedly do.&nbsp; Excellence, then is not an act, but a habit."--Aristotle</li>
1948     <li>"Moral excellence comes about as a result of habit.&nbsp; We become just by
1949     doing just acts, temperate by doing temperate acts, brave by doing brave acts."--Aristotle</li>
1950     <li>"Happiness is the exercise of vital powers along lines of excellence,
1951     in a life affording them scope."--Aristotle</li>
1952     </ul>
1953     <hr>
1954     <p><b><u><a name="philo_henry_david_thoreau"></a>Philosophers, Henry David
1955     Thoreau</u></b></p>
1956     <ul>
1957     <li>"There is no rule more invariable than that we are paid for our
1958     suspicions by finding what we suspect."--Henry David Thoreau</li>
1959     </ul>
1960     <hr>
1961     <p><b><u><a name="police_and_law_enforcement"></a>Police And Law Enforcement</u></b></p>
1962     <ul>
1963     <li>"The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out
1964     after you wear them awhile."--From a humorous e-mail entitled <i>Funny
1965     Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1966     <li>"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."--From a humorous e-mail
1967     entitled <i>Funny
1968     Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1969     <li>"So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can
1970     write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"--From a humorous e-mail entitled <i>Funny
1971     Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1972     <li>"Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it
1973     will help.&nbsp; Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"--From a humorous
1974     e-mail entitled <i>Funny
1975     Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1976     <li>"Warning!&nbsp; You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that
1977     again or I'll give you another ticket."--From a humorous e-mail entitled <i>Funny
1978     Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1979     <li>"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk
1980     or not.&nbsp; Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"--From a humorous e-mail entitled <i>Funny
1981     Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1982     <li>"Yeah, we have a quota.&nbsp; Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."--From a humorous e-mail entitled
1983     <i>Funny
1984     Police Quotes</i> received
1985     around 04/08/00.</li>
1986     <li>"Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."--From a humorous
1987     e-mail entitled <i>Funny
1988     Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1989     <li>"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore.&nbsp; We used to have quotas, but now
1990     we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."--From a humorous e-mail
1991     entitled <i>Funny
1992     Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1993     <li>"Just how big were those two beers?"--From a humorous e-mail
1994     entitled <i>Funny
1995     Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1996     <li>"In God we trust, all others are suspects."--From a humorous e-mail
1997     entitled <i>Funny
1998     Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1999     </ul>
2000     <hr>
2001     <p><b><u><a name="politfig_winston_churchill"></a>Political Figures, Winston
2002     Churchill</u></b></p>
2003     <ul>
2004     <li>"True genius resides in the capacity for evaluation of uncertain,
2005     hazardous, and conflicting information."--Winston Churchill</li>
2006     </ul>
2007     <hr>
2008     <p><b><u><a name="polit_fig_bill_hilary_clinton"></a>Political Figures, Bill And Hilary
2009     Clinton</u></b></p>
2010     <ul>
2011     <li>"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We
2012     are the president."--Hillary Clinton (commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents)</li>
2013     </ul>
2014     <hr>
2015     <p><b><u><a name="politfig_al_gore"></a>Political Figures, Al Gore</u></b></p>
2016     <ul>
2017     <li>"Y'all know how I feel about Al Gore--he's as dull as sober
2018     missionary sex with someone you know.&quot;--<i>Saturday Night Live</i> comedian
2019     impersonating President Bill Clinton, broadcast date 04/01/00.</li>
2020     <li>"A zebra
2021     does not change its spots."--Al Gore</li>
2022     </ul>
2023     <hr>
2024     <p><b><u><a name="politfig_henry_kissinger"></a>Political Figures, Henry
2025     Kissinger</u></b></p>
2026     <ul>
2027     <li>"There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full."--Henry Kissinger</li>
2028     <li>"Even paranoid people have enemies."--Henry Kissinger</li>
2029     </ul>
2030     <hr>
2031     <p><b><u><a name="politfig_colin_powell"></a>Political Figures, Colin Powell</u></b></p>
2032     <ul>
2033     <li>"Being responsible sometimes means pissing people off."--Colin
2034     Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i>.</li>
2035     <li>"Being responsible sometimes means pissing people off.&nbsp; Good leadership
2036     involves responsibility to the welfare of the group, which means that some
2037     people will get angry at your actions and decisions.&nbsp; It's inevitable, if you're
2038     honorable.&nbsp; Trying to get everyone to like you is a sign of mediocrity: you'll
2039     avoid the tough decisions, you'll avoid confronting the people who need to be
2040     confronted, and you'll avoid offering differential rewards based on differential
2041     performance because some people might get upset.&nbsp; Ironically, by procrastinating
2042     on the difficult choices, by trying not to get anyone mad, and by treating
2043     everyone equally 'nicely' regardless of their contributions, you'll simply
2044     ensure that the only people you'll wind up angering are the most creative and
2045     productive people in the organization."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2046     presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2047     <li>"The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have
2048     stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help them or
2049     concluded that you do not care. Either case is a failure of leadership."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation,
2050     <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2051     <li>"The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have
2052     stopped leading them.&nbsp; They have either lost confidence that you can help them or
2053     concluded that you do not care.&nbsp; Either case is a failure of leadership.&nbsp;
2054     If this
2055     were a litmus test, the majority of CEOs would fail.&nbsp; One, they build so many
2056     barriers to upward communication that the very idea of someone lower in the
2057     hierarchy looking up to the leader for help is ludicrous.&nbsp; Two, the corporate
2058     culture they foster often defines asking for help as weakness or failure, so
2059     people cover up their gaps, and the organization suffers accordingly.&nbsp; Real
2060     leaders make themselves accessible and available.&nbsp; They show concern for the
2061     efforts and challenges faced by underlings, even as they demand high standards.&nbsp;
2062     Accordingly, they are more likely to create an environment where problem
2063     analysis replaces blame."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership
2064     Primer</i></li>
2065     <li>"Don't be buffaloed by experts and elites.&nbsp; Experts often possess more
2066     data than judgment. Elites can become so inbred that they produce hemophiliacs
2067     who bleed to death as soon as they are nicked by the real world."--Colin
2068     Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2069     <li>"Don't be buffaloed by experts and elites.&nbsp; Experts often possess more
2070     data than judgment.&nbsp; Elites can become so inbred that they produce hemophiliacs
2071     who bleed to death as soon as they are nicked by the real world.&nbsp; Small companies
2072     and start-ups don't have the time for analytically detached experts.&nbsp; They don't
2073     have the money to subsidize lofty elites, either.&nbsp; The president answers the
2074     phone and drives the truck when necessary; everyone on the payroll visibly
2075     produces and contributes to bottom-line results or they're history.&nbsp; But as
2076     companies get bigger, they often forget who 'brought them to the dance':&nbsp; things
2077     like all-hands involvement, egalitarianism, informality, market intimacy,
2078     daring, risk, speed, agility.&nbsp; Policies that emanate from ivory towers often have
2079     an adverse impact on the people out in the field who are fighting the wars or
2080     bringing in the revenues.&nbsp; Real leaders are vigilant, and combative, in the face
2081     of these trends."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership
2082     Primer</i></li>
2083     <li>"Don't be afraid to challenge the pros, even in their own backyard."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation,
2084     <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2085     <li>"Don't be afraid to challenge the pros, even in their own backyard.&nbsp; Learn from the pros, observe them, seek them out as mentors and partners.&nbsp;
2086     But
2087     remember that even the pros may have leveled out in terms of their learning and
2088     skills.&nbsp; Sometimes even the pros can become complacent and lazy.&nbsp; Leadership does
2089     not emerge from blind obedience to anyone.&nbsp; Xerox's Barry Rand was right on
2090     target when he warned his people that if you have a yes-man working for you, one
2091     of you is redundant.&nbsp; Good leadership encourages everyone's evolution."--Colin
2092     Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2093     <li>"Never neglect details.&nbsp; When everyone's mind is dulled or distracted
2094     the leader must be doubly vigilant."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2095     presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2096     <li>"Never neglect details.&nbsp; When everyone's mind is dulled or distracted
2097     the leader must be doubly vigilant."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2098     presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2099     <li>&quot;Strategy equals execution.&nbsp; All the
2100     great ideas and visions in the world are worthless if they can't be implemented
2101     rapidly and efficiently.&nbsp; Good leaders delegate and empower others liberally, but
2102     they pay attention to details, every day.&nbsp; (Think about supreme athletic coaches
2103     like Jimmy Johnson, Pat Riley and Tony La Russa).&nbsp; Bad ones, even those who fancy
2104     themselves as progressive 'visionaries', think they're somehow `above'
2105     operational details.&nbsp; Paradoxically, good leaders understand something else: an
2106     obsessive routine in carrying out the details begets conformity and complacency,
2107     which in turn dulls everyone's mind.&nbsp; That is why even as they pay attention to
2108     details, they continually encourage people to challenge the process.&nbsp; They
2109     implicitly understand the sentiment of CEO leaders like Quad Graphic's Harry
2110     Quadracchi, Oticon's Lars Kolind and the late Bill McGowan of MCI, who all
2111     independently asserted that the job of a leader is not to be the chief
2112     organizer, but the chief dis-organizer.&quot;--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2113     presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2114     <li>"You don't know what you can get away with until you try."--Colin
2115     Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2116     <li>"You don't know what you can get away with until you try.&nbsp; You know the
2117     expression, 'it's easier to get forgiveness than permission'.&nbsp; Well, it's true.
2118     Good leaders don't wait for official blessing to try things out. They're
2119     prudent, not reckless.&nbsp; But they also realize a fact of life in most
2120     organizations: if you ask enough people for permission, you'll inevitably come
2121     up against someone who believes his job is to say 'no'. So the moral is, don't
2122     ask.&nbsp; Less effective middle managers endorsed the sentiment, 'If I haven't
2123     explicitly been told <i>yes</i>, I can't do it', whereas the good ones believed,
2124     `If I haven't explicitly been told <i>no</i>, I can.'&nbsp; There's a world of
2125     difference between these two points of view."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2126     presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2127     <li>"Keep looking below surface appearances.&nbsp; Don't shrink from doing so
2128     (just) because you might not like what you find."--Colin Powell, from a
2129     PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2130     <li>"Keep looking below surface appearances.&nbsp; Don't shrink from doing so
2131     (just) because you might not like what you find. 'If it ain't broke, don't fix
2132     it' is the slogan of the complacent, the arrogant or the scared.&nbsp; It's an excuse
2133     for inaction, a call to non-arms.&nbsp; It's a mind-set that assumes (or hopes) that
2134     today's realities will continue tomorrow in a tidy, linear and predictable
2135     fashion.&nbsp; Pure fantasy.&nbsp; In this sort of culture, you won't find people who
2136     pro-actively take steps to solve problems as they emerge.&nbsp; Here's a little tip:
2137     don't invest in these companies."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2138     presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2139     <li>"Organization doesn't really accomplish anything.&nbsp; Plans don't
2140     accomplish anything, either.&nbsp; Theories of management don't much matter.&nbsp;
2141     Endeavors
2142     succeed or fail because of the people involved.&nbsp; Only by attracting the best
2143     people will you accomplish great deeds."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2144     presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2145     <li>"Organization doesn't really accomplish anything.&nbsp; Plans don't
2146     accomplish anything, either.&nbsp; Theories of management don't much matter.&nbsp;
2147     Endeavors
2148     succeed or fail because of the people involved.&nbsp; Only by attracting the best
2149     people will you accomplish great deeds.&nbsp; In a brain-based economy, your
2150     best assets are people.&nbsp; We've heard this expression so often that it's become
2151     trite.&nbsp; But how many leaders really 'walk the talk' with this stuff?&nbsp; Too often,
2152     people are assumed to be empty chess pieces to be moved around by grand viziers,
2153     which may explain why so many top managers immerse their calendar time in deal
2154     making, restructuring and the latest management fad.&nbsp; How many immerse themselves
2155     in the goal of creating an environment where the best, the brightest, the most
2156     creative are attracted, retained and, most importantly, unleashed?"--Colin
2157     Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2158     <li>"Organization charts and fancy titles count for next to nothing."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation,
2159     <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2160     <li>"Organization charts and fancy titles count for next to nothing.&nbsp; Organization charts are frozen, anachronistic photos in a work place that ought
2161     to be as dynamic as the external environment around you.&nbsp; If people really
2162     followed organization charts, companies would collapse.&nbsp; In well-run
2163     organizations, titles are also pretty meaningless.&nbsp; At best, they advertise some
2164     authority, an official status conferring the ability to give orders and induce
2165     obedience.&nbsp; But titles mean little in terms of real power, which is the capacity
2166     to influence and inspire.&nbsp; Have you ever noticed that people will personally
2167     commit to certain individuals who on paper (or on the organization chart)
2168     possess little authority, but instead possess pizzazz, drive, expertise, and
2169     genuine caring for teammates and products?&nbsp; On the flip side, non-leaders in
2170     management may be formally anointed with all the perks and frills associated
2171     with high positions, but they have little influence on others, apart from their
2172     ability to extract minimal compliance to minimal standards."--Colin Powell,
2173     from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2174     <li>"Never let your ego get so close to your position that when your
2175     position goes, your ego goes with it."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2176     presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2177     <li>"Never let your ego get so close to your position that when your
2178     position goes, your ego goes with it.&nbsp; Too often, change is stifled by people who
2179     cling to familiar turfs and job descriptions.&nbsp; One reason that even large
2180     organizations wither is that managers won't challenge old, comfortable ways of
2181     doing things.&nbsp; But real leaders understand that, nowadays, every one of our jobs
2182     is becoming obsolete.&nbsp; The proper response is to obsolete our activities before
2183     someone else does.&nbsp; Effective leaders create a climate where people's worth is
2184     determined by their willingness to learn new skills and grab new
2185     responsibilities, thus perpetually reinventing their jobs.&nbsp; The most important
2186     question in performance evaluation becomes not, 'How well did you perform your
2187     job since the last time we met?' but, 'How much did you change it?'--Colin
2188     Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2189     <li>"Fit no stereotypes.&nbsp; Don't chase the latest management fads.&nbsp; The
2190     situation dictates which approach best accomplishes the team's mission."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation,
2191     <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2192     <li>"Fit no stereotypes.&nbsp; Don't chase the latest management fads.&nbsp; The
2193     situation dictates which approach best accomplishes the team's mission.&nbsp; Flitting
2194     from fad to fad creates team confusion, reduces the leader's credibility, and
2195     drains organizational coffers.&nbsp; Blindly following a particular fad generates
2196     rigidity in thought and action.&nbsp; Sometimes speed to market is more important than
2197     total quality.&nbsp; Sometimes an unapologetic directive is more appropriate than
2198     participatory discussion.&nbsp; Some situations require the leader to hover closely;
2199     others require long, loose leashes.&nbsp; Leaders honor their core values, but they
2200     are flexible in how they execute them.&nbsp; They understand that management
2201     techniques are not magic mantras but simply tools to be reached for at the right
2202     times."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2203     <li>"Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier."--Colin Powell, from a
2204     PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2205     <li>"Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.&nbsp; The ripple effect of a
2206     leader's enthusiasm and optimism is awesome.&nbsp; So is the impact of cynicism and
2207     pessimism.&nbsp; Leaders who whine and blame engender those same behaviors among their
2208     colleagues.&nbsp; I am not talking about stoically accepting organizational stupidity
2209     and performance incompetence with a 'what, me worry?' smile.&nbsp; I am talking about
2210     a gung-ho attitude that says 'we can change things here, we can achieve awesome
2211     goals, we can be the best.'&nbsp; Spare me the grim litany of the 'realist', give me
2212     the unrealistic aspirations of the optimist any day."--Colin Powell, from a
2213     PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2214     <li>"Powell's Rules for Picking People:&nbsp; Look for intelligence and
2215     judgment, and most critically, a capacity to anticipate, to see around corners.&nbsp;
2216     Also look for loyalty, integrity, a high energy drive, a balanced ego, and the
2217     drive to get things done."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership
2218     Primer</i></li>
2219     <li>"Powell's Rules for Picking People:&nbsp; Look for intelligence and
2220     judgment, and most critically, a capacity to anticipate, to see around corners.&nbsp;
2221     Also look for loyalty, integrity, a high energy drive, a balanced ego, and the
2222     drive to get things done.&nbsp; How often do our recruitment and hiring processes tap
2223     into these attributes?&nbsp; More often than not, we ignore them in favor of length of
2224     resume, degrees and prior titles.&nbsp; A string of job descriptions a recruit held
2225     yesterday seem to be more important than who one is today, what they can
2226     contribute tomorrow, or how well their values mesh with those of the
2227     organization.&nbsp; You can train a bright, willing novice in the fundamentals of your
2228     business fairly readily, but it's a lot harder to train someone to have
2229     integrity, judgment, energy, balance, and the drive to get things done.&nbsp; Good
2230     leaders stack the deck in their favor right in the recruitment phase."--Colin
2231     Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2232     <li>"Great leaders are almost always great simplifiers, who can cut
2233     through argument, debate and doubt, to offer a solution everybody can
2234     understand."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership
2235     Primer</i></li>
2236     <li>"Great leaders are almost always great simplifiers, who can cut
2237     through argument, debate and doubt, to offer a solution everybody can
2238     understand.&nbsp; Effective leaders understand the KISS principle, Keep It Simple,
2239     Stupid.&nbsp; They articulate vivid, over-arching goals and values, which they use to
2240     drive daily behaviors and choices among competing alternatives.&nbsp; Their visions
2241     and priorities are lean and compelling, not cluttered and buzzword-laden.&nbsp; Their
2242     decisions are crisp and clear, not tentative and ambiguous.&nbsp; They convey an
2243     unwavering firmness and consistency in their actions, aligned with the picture
2244     of the future they paint.&nbsp; The result: clarity of purpose, credibility of
2245     leadership, and integrity in organization."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2246     presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2247     <li>"Part I:&nbsp; 'Use the formula P=40 to 70, in which P stands for the
2248     probability of success and the numbers indicate the percentage of information
2249     acquired.'&nbsp; Part II: 'Once the information is in the 40 to 70 range, go with your
2250     gut'."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2251     <li>"Part I:&nbsp; 'Use the formula P=40 to 70, in which P stands for the
2252     probability of success and the numbers indicate the percentage of information
2253     acquired.'&nbsp; Part II: 'Once the information is in the 40 to 70 range, go with your
2254     gut.'&nbsp; Don't take action if you have only enough information to give you less
2255     than a 40 percent chance of being right, but don't wait until you have enough
2256     facts to be 100 percent sure, because by then it is almost always too late.&nbsp;
2257     Today, excessive delays in the name of information-gathering breeds
2258     'analysis
2259     paralysis.'&nbsp; Procrastination in the name of reducing risk actually increases
2260     risk."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2261     <li>"The commander in the field is always right and the rear echelon is
2262     wrong, unless proved otherwise."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2263     presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2264     <li>"The commander in the field is always right and the rear echelon is
2265     wrong, unless proved otherwise.&nbsp; Too often, the reverse defines corporate
2266     culture.&nbsp; This is one of the main reasons why leaders like Ken Iverson of Nucor
2267     Steel, Percy Barnevik of Asea Brown Boveri, and Richard Branson of Virgin have
2268     kept their corporate staffs to a bare-bones minimum--how about fewer than 100
2269     central corporate staffers for global $30 billion-plus ABB?&nbsp; Or around 25 and
2270     3 for multi-billion Nucor and Virgin, respectively?&nbsp; Shift the power and the
2271     financial accountability to the folks who are bringing in the beans, not the
2272     ones who are counting or analyzing them."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2273     presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2274     <li>"Have fun in your command.&nbsp; Don't always run at a breakneck pace.&nbsp;
2275     Take
2276     leave when you've earned it:&nbsp; Spend time with your families.&nbsp; Corollary: surround
2277     yourself with people who take their work seriously, but not themselves, those
2278     who work hard and play hard."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership
2279     Primer</i></li>
2280     <li>"Have fun in your command.&nbsp; Don't always run at a breakneck pace.&nbsp;
2281     Take
2282     leave when you've earned it:&nbsp; Spend time with your families.&nbsp; Corollary: surround
2283     yourself with people who take their work seriously, but not themselves, those
2284     who work hard and play hard.&nbsp; Herb Kelleher of Southwest Air and Anita Roddick of
2285     The Body Shop would agree: seek people who have some balance in their lives, who
2286     are fun to hang out with, who like to laugh (at themselves, too) and who have
2287     some non-job priorities which they approach with the same passion that they do
2288     their work.&nbsp; Spare me the grim workaholic or the pompous pretentious
2289     'professional'; I'll help them find jobs with my competitor."--Colin Powell,
2290     from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2291     <li>"Command is lonely."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership
2292     Primer</i> (quote probably from Truman)</li>
2293     <li>"Command is lonely.&nbsp; Harry Truman was right.&nbsp; Whether you're a CEO or
2294     the temporary head of a project team, the buck stops here.&nbsp; You can encourage
2295     participative management and bottom-up employee involvement, but ultimately the
2296     essence of leadership is the willingness to make the tough, unambiguous choices
2297     that will have an impact on the fate of the organization.&nbsp; I've seen too many
2298     non-leaders flinch from this responsibility.&nbsp; Even as you create an informal,
2299     open, collaborative corporate culture, prepare to be lonely."--Colin Powell,
2300     from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2301     <li>"Leadership is the art of accomplishing more than the science of
2302     management says is possible."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership
2303     Primer</i></li>
2304     </ul>
2305     <p><b><u>Note:</u></b>&nbsp; Colin Powell's presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i>,
2306     is available as a .ZIP'd PowerPoint presentation <a href="../../authindiv/dtashley/bad_management/powellonleadership.zip">here</a>.</p>
2307     <hr>
2308     <p><b><u><a name="politfig_dan_quayle"></a>Political Figures, Dan Quayle</u></b></p>
2309     <ul>
2310     <li>"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment.&nbsp; It's the
2311     impurities in our air and water that are doing it."--Former U.S.
2312     Vice-president Dan Quayle</li>
2313     <li>"I love California.&nbsp; I practically grew up in Phoenix."--Former U.S.
2314     Vice-president Dan Quayle</li>
2315     <li>"The loss of life will be irreplaceable."--Former U.S.
2316     Vice-president Dan Quayle</li>
2317     <li>"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have
2318     is that I didn't study my Latin harder in school so I could converse with those
2319     people."--Former U.S. Vice-president Dan Quayle</li>
2320     <li>"Hawaii is a unique state.&nbsp; It is a small state.&nbsp; It is a state that is
2321     by itself.&nbsp; It is different from the other 49 states.&nbsp; Well, all states are
2322     different, but it's got a particularly unique situation."--Former U.S.
2323     Vice-president Dan Quayle</li>
2324     </ul>
2325     <hr>
2326     <p><b><u><a name="politfig_ronald_reagan"></a>Political Figures, Ronald Reagan</u></b></p>
2327     <ul>
2328     <li>"I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked
2329     like if Moses had run them through the U.S. Congress."--Former U.S. President
2330     Ronald Reagan</li>
2331     </ul>
2332     <hr>
2333     <p><b><u><a name="polit_polit_doubletalk"></a>Politics, Political Doubletalk,
2334     Doubletalk</u></b></p>
2335     <ul>
2336     <li>"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of
2337     people."--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor</li>
2338     <li>"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."--Keppel
2339     Enderbery</li>
2340     <li>"If you let that sort of thing go on, your bread and butter will be
2341     cut right out from under your feet."--Former British foreign minister, Ernest
2342     Bevin</li>
2343     <li>"I have opinions of my own ... strong opinions ... but I don't always
2344     agree with them."--George Bush, former U.S President</li>
2345     <li>"We have to pause and ask ourselves how much clean air do we need?"--Lee
2346     Iacocca, former CEO, Chrysler Corp</li>
2347     <li>"I was provided with additional input that was radically different
2348     from the truth.&nbsp; I assisted in furthering that version."--Colonel Oliver North,
2349     from his Iran-Contra testimony</li>
2350     <li>"I haven't committed a crime.&nbsp; What I did was fail to comply with the
2351     law."--David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, (answering accusations that he
2352     failed to pay his taxes)</li>
2353     <li>"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates
2354     in the country."--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC</li>
2355     <li>"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."--Former French
2356     President Charles De Gaulle</li>
2357     <li>"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass,
2358     and I'm just the one to do it."--A congressional candidate in Texas</li>
2359     </ul>
2360     <hr>
2361     <p><b><u><a name="religion"></a>Religion</u></b></p>
2362     <ul>
2363     <li>"Absolute faith corrupts as absolutely as absolute power."--Eric Hoffer (1902 - 1983)
2364     </li>
2365     <li>"I contend we are both atheists, I just believe in one fewer god than you do.&nbsp;
2366     When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss
2367     yours."-- Stephen F. Roberts
2368     </li>
2369     <li>"It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save
2370     us."--Peter De Vries, novelist (1910-1993)
2371     </li>
2372     <li>"There are only two kinds of men: the righteous who believe themselves sinners;
2373     and the sinners who believe themselves righteous.--Blaise Pascal, philosopher and mathematician (1623-1662)
2374     </li>
2375     <li>"Moral certainty is always a sign of cultural inferiority.&nbsp; The more uncivilized the man,
2376     the surer he is that he knows precisely what is right and what is wrong.&nbsp;
2377     All human progress, even in morals, has been the work of men who have doubted the current moral values,
2378     not of men who have whooped them up and tried to enforce them.&nbsp; The truly civilized man is
2379     always skeptical and tolerant, in this field as in all others.&nbsp; His culture is based on
2380     'I am not too sure.'"-- H.L.Mencken, author (1880 - 1956)
2381     </li>
2382     <li>"Conceit is God's gift to little men."--Bruce Barton
2383     </li>
2384     <li>"To surrender to ignorance and call it God has always been premature, and it
2385     remains premature today."-- Isaac Asimov, author (1920 - 1992)
2386     </li>
2387     <li>"With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil
2388     things.&nbsp; But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion."-- Steven Weinberg (1933 - ),
2389     quoted in The New York Times, April 20, 1999
2390     </li>
2391     <li>"A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes."--James Feibleman
2392     </li>
2393     <li>"A superstition is a premature explanation that overstays its time."--George Iles
2394     </li>
2395     <li>"The divinity of Jesus is made a convenient cover for absurdity.&nbsp; Nowhere in the Gospels do we
2396     find a precept for Creeds, Confessions, Oaths, Doctrines, and whole carloads of other
2397     foolish trumpery that we find in Christianity."--John Adams (1735 -1826)
2398     </li>
2399     <li>"I do not find in orthodox Christianity one redeeming feature."--Thomas Jefferson (1743 -1826)
2400     </li>
2401     <li>"I have recently been examining all the known superstitions of the world, and do not find in
2402     our particular superstition (Christianity) one redeeming feature.&nbsp; They are all alike
2403     founded on fables and mythology."--Thomas Jefferson (1743 -1826)
2404     </li>
2405     <li>"The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being as his Father,
2406     in the womb of a virgin will be classified with the fable of the generation
2407     of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter.&nbsp; But we may hope that the dawn of reason
2408     and freedom of thought in these United States will do away with this
2409     artificial scaffolding and restore to us the primitive and genuine doctrines
2410     of this most venerated Reformer of human errors."--Thomas Jefferson (1743 -1826)
2411     </li>
2412     <li>"The Bible is not my book, and Christianity is not my religion.&nbsp; I could never give
2413     assent to the long, complicated statements of Christian
2414     dogma."--Abraham Lincoln (1809 -1865)
2415     </li>
2416     <li>"As to Jesus of Nazareth ... I think the system of Morals and his Religion,
2417     as he left them to us, the best the World ever saw or is likely to see; but I apprehend it
2418     has received various corrupting Changes, and I have, with most of the present
2419     Dissenters in England, some doubts as to his divinity."--Benjamin Franklin (1706 -1790)
2420     </li>
2421     <li>"The study of theology, as it stands in the Christian churches, is the study of nothing;
2422     it is founded on nothing; it rests on no principles; it proceeds by no authority; it has no data;
2423     it can demonstrate nothing; and it admits of no conclusion."--Thomas Paine (1737 -1809)
2424     </li>
2425     <li>"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason,
2426     and intellect has intended us to forgo their use."--Galileo Galilei, physicist and astronomer (1564-1642)
2427     </li>
2428     <li>"There was a time when religion ruled the world.&nbsp; It is known as the Dark
2429     Ages."--Ruth Hermence Green
2430     </li>
2431     <li>"We are taught to believe that there's an invisible man who lives in the sky,
2432     who has a list of 10 things he doesn't want you to do,
2433     who watches you every minute of every day, and if you do something he doesn't like,
2434     he's going to send you to a burning lake of fire ... forever.&nbsp; But He loves you.--George Carlin
2435     </li>
2436     <li>"To teach superstitions as truth is a most terrible thing."--Hypatia
2437     </li>
2438     <li>"If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it
2439     to."--Dorothy Parker - poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
2440     </li>
2441     <li>"I read the whole of the Bible, and apply common sense to it.&nbsp; Sorry to be so boring.&nbsp;
2442     Something which is said several thousand times (e.g. God is worried about the poor)
2443     I regard as more important than something which is said once (e.g. God thinks being gay
2444     incurs ritual pollution) or never (e.g. God doesn't approve of abortion).&nbsp; If
2445     I understand them correctly, the fundamentalists take the opposite approach:
2446     abortion is the most important issue, homosexuality the second most important,
2447     and feeding the poor doesn't matter at all."--Andrew Rilstone (Andrew@aslan.demon.co.uk)
2448     </li>
2449     <li>"Had I been present at the creation, I would have given some useful hints for the better
2450     ordering of the universe."--Alphonso the Wise (1221-1284)
2451     </li>
2452     <li>"What religion are you afflicted with?"--Unknown
2453     </li>
2454     <li>"Morality is the best of all devices for leading mankind by the nose."--Frederick Nietzsche, philosopher (1844-1900)
2455     </li>
2456     <li>"Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious
2457     conviction."--Blaise Pascal, philosopher, mathematician (1623-1662)
2458     </li>
2459     <li>"I do not pretend to be able to prove that there is no God.&nbsp; I equally cannot
2460     prove that Satan is a fiction.&nbsp; The Christian God may exist; so
2461     may the Gods of Olympus, or of ancient Egypt, or of Babylon.&nbsp; But no one of these
2462     hypotheses is more probable than any other: they lie outside the
2463     region of probable knowledge, and therefore there is no reason to consider any of
2464     them."--Lord Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)
2465     </li>
2466     <li>"The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose."--William Shakespeare, poet and dramatist (1564-1616)
2467     </li>
2468     <li>"Religion is an insult to human dignity.&nbsp; With or without it, you'd have good people doing
2469     good things and evil people doing bad things, but for good people to do bad things, it takes
2470     religion."--Steven Weinberg, physicist, Nobel Laureate (1933-)
2471     </li>
2472     <li>"Man is a marvelous curiosity ... he thinks he is the Creator's pet; he even believes the Creator loves him;
2473     has a passion for him; sits up nights to admire him; yes and watch over him and keep him out of
2474     trouble.&nbsp; He prays to him and thinks He listens.&nbsp; Isn't it a quaint idea."--Mark Twain,
2475     author and humorist (1835-1910)
2476     </li>
2477     <li>"One of the proofs of the immortality of the soul is that myriads have believed in
2478     it.&nbsp; They have also believed the world was flat."--Mark Twain, author and humorist (1835-1910)
2479     </li>
2480     <li>"I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious - unless
2481     he purposely shut the eyes of his mind and keep them shut by
2482     force."--Mark Twain, author and humorist (1835-1910)
2483     </li>
2484     <li>"Irreverence is another person's disrespect to your god; there isn't any word that tells what your
2485     disrespect to his god is."--Mark Twain, author and humorist (1835-1910)
2486     </li>
2487     <li>"I believe in God, only I spell it Nature."--Frank Lloyd Wright, architect (1867-1959)
2488     </li>
2489     <li>"We are all atheists about most of the gods that humanity has ever believed in.&nbsp; Some
2490     of us just go one god further."--Richard Dawkins, biologist, author, philosopher (1941-)
2491     </li>
2492     <li>"My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed."-Christopher Morley, writer (1890-1957)
2493     </li>
2494     <li>"So many gods, so many creeds, So many paths that wind and wind, While just the art of being kind is
2495     all the sad world needs."--Ella Wheeler Wilcox, poet (1850-1919)
2496     </li>
2497     <li>"No sooner had Jesus knocked over the dragon of superstition that Paul boldly set it on it's legs
2498     again in the name of Jesus."--George Bernard Shaw, writer, Nobel laureate (1856-1950)
2499     </li>
2500     <li>"If God created us in his own image, we have more than reciprocated."--Voltaire, philosopher (1694-1778)
2501     </li>
2502     <li>"If the gods listened to the prayers of men, all humankind would quickly perish since they constantly
2503     pray for many evils to befall one another."--Epicurus, philosopher (c. 341-270 BCE)
2504     </li>
2505     <li>"Nothing is more dreaded than the national government meddling with religion."--John Adams (1797-1801)
2506     </li>
2507     <li>"Faith is the great cop-out, the great excuse to evade the need to think and evaluate evidence.&nbsp; Faith
2508     is belief in spite of, even perhaps because of, the lack of evidence."--Richard Dawkins, biologist, author, philosopher (1941-)
2509     </li>
2510     <li>"Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy."--H. L. Mencken, author (1880 - 1956)
2511     </li>
2512     <li>"Faith is a cop-out.&nbsp; If the only way you can accept an assertion is by faith,
2513     then you are conceding that it can't be taken on its own merits."--Dan Barker, "Losing Faith in Faith", 1992
2514     </li>
2515     <li>"If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?"--Unattributed
2516     </li>
2517     </ul>
2518     <hr>
2519     <p><b><u><a name="sci_mat_marie_curie"></a>Scientists And Mathematicians, Marie
2520     Curie</u></b></p>
2521     <ul>
2522     <li>&quot;Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be
2523     understood.&quot;--Marie Curie</li>
2524     </ul>
2525     <hr>
2526     <p><b><u><a name="sci_mat_edsger_dijkstra"></a>Scientists And Mathematicians, Edsger
2527     Dijkstra</u></b></p>
2528     <ul>
2529     <li>&quot;The question of whether computers can think is just
2530     like the question of whether submarines can swim.&quot;--Edsger W. Dijkstra</li>
2531     </ul>
2532     <hr>
2533     <p><b><u><a name="sci_mat_albert_einstein"></a>Scientists And Mathematicians, Albert
2534     Einstein</u></b></p>
2535     <ul>
2536     <li>&quot;We are all very ignorant, but not all ignorant of the same
2537     things.&quot;--Albert Einstein</li>
2538     <li>"Thus I came -- despite the fact that I was the son of entirely irreligious (Jewish) parents --
2539     to a deep religiosity, which, however, found an abrupt ending at the age of 12.&nbsp; Through the
2540     reading of popular scientific books I soon reached the conviction that much in the stories
2541     of the bible could not be true.&nbsp; The consequence was a positively fanatic
2542     [orgy of] freethinking coupled with the impression that youth is intentionally
2543     being deceived by the state through lies; it was a crushing impression.&nbsp; Suspicion against every
2544     kind of authority grew out of this experience, a skeptical attitude towards the
2545     convictions which were alive in any specific social environment .... I cannot conceive
2546     of a personal God who would directly influence the actions of individuals ..."-- Albert Einstein,
2547     physicist (1879-1955) - August, 1927 -- Einstein Archive 48-380
2548     </li>
2549     <li>"Science without religion is lame.&nbsp; Religion without science is blind."-Albert Einstein, physicist (1879-1955)
2550     at Science, Philosophy and Religion: a Symposium, 1941
2551     </li>
2552    
2553     <li>
2554    
2555     &quot;
2556    
2557     Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.&quot;-- Albert Einstein, physicist (1879 - 1955)
2558     </li>
2559    
2560     <li>
2561    
2562     &quot;There are only two truly infinite things, the universe and stupidity.&nbsp;
2563     And I am unsure about the universe.&quot;--Albert Einstein, physicist (1879-1955)
2564     </li>
2565    
2566     <li>
2567    
2568     &quot;What terrifies us is not the explosive force of the atomic bomb, but the power of the wickedness of the human heart.&quot;--Albert Einstein, physicist (1879-1955)
2569     </li>
2570    
2571     <li>
2572    
2573     &quot;It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.&quot;--Albert Einstein, physicist (1879-1955)
2574     </li>
2575    
2576     <li>
2577    
2578     &quot;The more I study physics, the more I am drawn to metaphysics.&quot;--Albert Einstein,
2579     physicist (1879-1955)
2580     </li>
2581    
2582     <li>
2583    
2584     &quot;Definition of Insanity:&nbsp; Endlessly repeating the same process, hoping for a different result."--Albert Einstein
2585     </li>
2586    
2587     <li>
2588    
2589     &quot;Make things as simple as possible, but not simpler.&quot;--Albert Einstein, physicist (1879-1955)
2590     </li>
2591    
2592     <li>
2593    
2594     &quot;Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.&quot;--Albert Einstein, physicist (1879-1955)
2595     </li>
2596    
2597     </ul>
2598     <hr>
2599     <p><b><u><a name="sci_mat_gh_hardy"></a>Scientists And Mathematicians, G.H.
2600     Hardy</u></b></p>
2601     <ul>
2602     <li>&quot;It is never worth a first class man's time to express a majority
2603     opinion.&nbsp; By definition, there are plenty of others to do that.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2604     <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2605     <li>&quot;For any serious purpose, intelligence is a very minor gift.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2606     <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2607     <li>&quot;Young men ought to be conceited:&nbsp; but they oughtn't to be
2608     imbecile."--G.H. Hardy (according to C.P. Snow in the foreword of <i>A
2609     Mathematician's Apology</i>, said after someone had tried to
2610     convince Hardy that <i>Finnegans Wake</i> was the final literary masterpiece.)</li>
2611     <li>&quot;Sometimes one has to say difficult things, but one ought to say them
2612     as simply as one knows how.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2613     <li>&quot;Statesmen despise publicists, painters despise art-critics, and
2614     physiologists, physicists, or mathematicians have usually similar feelings;
2615     there is no scorn more profound, or on the whole more justifiable, than that of
2616     the men who make for the men who explain.&nbsp; Exposition, criticism, appreciation,
2617     is work for second-rate minds.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2618     <li>&quot;... There is no one so stupid as to use this sort of language
2619     about mathematics.&nbsp; The mass of mathematical truth is obvious and imposing; its
2620     practical applications, the bridges and the steam engines and dynamos, obtrude
2621     themselves on the dullest imagination.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's
2622     Apology</i></li>
2623     <li>&quot;... Some egotism of this sort is inevitable, and I do not feel
2624     that it really needs justification.&nbsp; Good work is not done by 'humble' men.&nbsp;
2625     It is
2626     one of the first duties of a professor, for example, in any subject, to
2627     exaggerate a little both the importance of his subject and his own importance in
2628     it.&nbsp; A man who is always asking 'Is what I do worth while?' and 'Am I the right
2629     person to do it?' will always be ineffective himself and a discouragement to
2630     others.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2631     <li>&quot;... I am not suggesting that this is a defence which can be made
2632     by most people, since most people can do nothing at all well.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2633     <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2634     <li>&quot;... If a man has any genuine talent, he should be ready to make
2635     almost any sacrifice in order to cultivate it to the full.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A
2636     Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2637     <li>&quot;No mathematician should ever allow himself to forget that
2638     mathematics, more than any other art or science, is a young man's game.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2639     <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2640     <li>&quot;I do not know an instance of a major mathematical advance initiated
2641     by a man past fifty.&nbsp; If a man of mature age loses interest in and abandons
2642     mathematics, the loss is not likely to be very serious either for mathematics or
2643     for himself.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2644     <li>&quot;It is quite true that most people can do nothing well.&nbsp; If so, it
2645     matters very little what career they choose, and there is really nothing more to
2646     say about it.&nbsp; It is a conclusive reply, but hardly one likely to be made by a
2647     man with any pride; and I may assume that none of us would be content with
2648     it.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2649     <li>&quot;(Speaking with respect to mathematical achievement) ... What we
2650     do may be small, but it has a certain character of permanence; and to have
2651     produced anything of the slightest permanent interest, whether it be a copy of
2652     verses or a geometrical theorem, is to have done something utterly beyond the
2653     powers of the vast majority of men.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's
2654     Apology</i></li>
2655     <li>&quot;(Speaking with respect to mathematical achievement) ... In these
2656     days of conflict between ancient and modern studies, there must surely be
2657     something to be said for a study which did not begin with Pythagoras, and
2658     will not end with Einstein, but is the oldest and the youngest of
2659     all.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2660     <li>&quot;A man's first duty, a young man's at any rate, is to be
2661     ambitious.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2662     <li>&quot;... We must guard against a fallacy common apologists of
2663     science, the fallacy of supposing that the men whose work benefits humanity are
2664     thinking much of that while they do it ... There are many highly
2665     respectable motives that may lead men to prosecute research, but there are three
2666     which are much more important than the rest.&nbsp; The first (without which the rest
2667     must come to nothing) is intellectual curiosity, desire to know the truth.&nbsp;
2668     Then,
2669     professional pride, anxiety to be satisfied with one's performance, the shame
2670     that overcomes any self-respecting craftsman when his work is unworthy of his
2671     talent.&nbsp; Finally, ambition, desire for reputation, and the position, even the
2672     power or the money, which it brings.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's
2673     Apology</i></li>
2674     <li>&quot;If intellectual curiosity, professional pride, and ambition are the
2675     dominant incentives to research, then assuredly no one has a fairer chance of
2676     gratifying them then a mathematician.&nbsp; His subject is the most curious of
2677     all--there is none in which truth plays such odd pranks.&nbsp; It has the most
2678     elaborate and the most fascinating technique, and gives unrivalled openings for
2679     the display of sheer professional skill.&nbsp; Finally, as history proves abundantly,
2680     mathematical achievement, whatever its intrinsic worth, is the most enduring of
2681     all.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2682     <li>&quot;<i>Immortality</i> may be a silly word, but probably a mathematician
2683     has the best chance of whatever it may mean.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A
2684     Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2685     <li>&quot;... Farey is immortal because he failed to understand a theorem
2686     which Haros had proved perfectly fourteen years before ... But on the whole
2687     the history of science is fair, and this is particularly true in mathematics ...
2688     and the men who are remembered are almost always the men who merit
2689     it.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, pp. 81-82, citing instances
2690     where mathematical history was inaccurate</li>
2691     <li>&quot;It is sometimes suggested, by lawyers or politicians or business
2692     men, that an academic career is one sought mainly by cautious and
2693     unambitious persons who care primarily for comfort and security.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2694     <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p.82</li>
2695     <li>&quot;A mathematician, like a painter or a poet, is a maker of patterns.&nbsp;
2696     If
2697     his patterns are more permanent than theirs, it is because they are made with <i>ideas</i>.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2698     <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p.84</li>
2699     <li>&quot;... Beauty is the first test: there is no permanent place in the
2700     world for ugly mathematics.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p.85</li>
2701     <li>&quot;It may be very hard to <i>define</i> mathematical beauty, but that is
2702     just as true of beauty of any kind--we may not know quite what we mean by a
2703     beautiful poem, but that does not prevent us from recognizing one when we read
2704     it.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2705     <li>&quot;There are, to be sure, individuals for whom mathematics exercises a
2706     coldly impersonal attraction ...&nbsp; The aesthetic appeal of mathematics may be
2707     very real for a chosen few.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, quoting
2708     Hogben, p. 86</li>
2709     <li>&quot;The seriousness of a theorem, of course, does not <i>lie in</i> its
2710     consequences, which are merely the <i>evidence</i> for its seriousness.&nbsp; Shakespeare had an enormous influence on the development of the English
2711     language, Otway next to none, but that is not why Shakespeare was the better
2712     poet.&nbsp; He was the better poet because he wrote much better poetry.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2713     <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p.90</li>
2714     <li>&quot;The number of primes less than 1,000,000,000 is 50,847,478:&nbsp; that is
2715     enough for an engineer, and he can be perfectly happy without the rest.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2716     <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p.102</li>
2717     <li>&quot;Some measure of generality must be present in any high-class theorem,
2718     but <i>too much</i> tends inevitably towards insipidity.&nbsp; 'Everything is what it
2719     is, and not another thing', and the differences between things are quite as
2720     interesting as their resemblances.&nbsp; We do not choose our friends because they
2721     embody all the pleasant qualities of humanity, but because they are the people
2722     that they are.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p. 109</li>
2723     <li>&quot;It seems that mathematical ideas are arranged somehow in strata, the
2724     ideas in each stratum being linked by a complex of relations both among
2725     themselves and with those above and below.&nbsp; The lower the stratum, the deeper
2726     (and in general the more difficult) the idea.&nbsp; Thus the idea of an
2727     'irrational'
2728     is deeper than that of an integer ...&nbsp; Let us concentrate our attention on
2729     the relations between the integers, or some other group of objects lying in some
2730     particular stratum.&nbsp; Then it may happen that one of these relations can be
2731     comprehended completely, that we can recognize and prove, for example, some
2732     property of the integers, without any knowledge of the contents of lower strata
2733     ...&nbsp; But there are also many theorems about integers which we cannot
2734     appreciate properly, and still less prove, without digging deeper and
2735     considering what happens below.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, pp. 110-111</li>
2736     <li>&quot;We do not want many 'variations' in the proof of a mathematical
2737     theorem:&nbsp; 'enumeration of cases', indeed, is one of the duller forms of
2738     mathematical argument.&nbsp; A mathematical proof should resemble a simple and
2739     clear-cut constellation, not a scattered cluster in the Milky Way.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2740     <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p. 113</li>
2741     <li>&quot;It is sometimes suggested that pure mathematicians glory in the
2742     uselessness of their work, and make it a boast that it has no practical
2743     applications.&nbsp; The imputation is usually based on an incautious saying attributed
2744     to Gauss, to the effect that, if mathematics is the queen of the sciences, the
2745     the theory of numbers is, because of its supreme uselessness, the queen of
2746     mathematics--I have never been able to find an exact quotation.&nbsp; I am sure that
2747     Gauss's saying (if indeed it be his) has been rather crudely misinterpreted.&nbsp;
2748     If
2749     the theory of numbers could be employed for any practical and obviously
2750     honourable purpose, if it could be turned directly to the furtherance of human
2751     happiness of the relief of human suffering, as physiology and even chemistry
2752     can, the surely neither Gauss nor any other mathematician would have been so
2753     foolish as to decry or regret such applications.&nbsp; But science works for evil as
2754     well as for good (and particularly, of course in time of war); and both Gauss
2755     and lesser mathematicians may be justified in rejoicing that there is one
2756     science at any rate, and that their own, whose very remoteness from ordinary
2757     human activities should keep it gentle and clean.&quot;G.H. Hardy, <i>A
2758     Mathematician's Apology</i>, pp. 120-121</li>
2759     <li>&quot;I began by saying that there is probably less difference between the
2760     positions of a mathematician and of a physicist than is generally supposed, and
2761     that the most important seems to me to be this, that the mathematician is in
2762     much more direct contact with reality ... mathematical objects are so much
2763     more what they seem.&nbsp; A chair or a star is not in the least like what it seems to
2764     be; the more we think of it, the fuzzier its outlines become in the haze of
2765     sensation which surround it; but '2' or '317' has nothing to do with sensation,
2766     and its properties stand out the more clearly the more closely we scrutinize
2767     it.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, pp. 128-130</li>
2768     <li>&quot;It is the dull and elementary parts of applied mathematics, as it is
2769     the dull and elementary parts of pure mathematics, that work for good or ill.&nbsp;
2770     Time may change all this.&nbsp; No one foresaw the applications of matrices and groups
2771     and other purely mathematical theories to modern physics, and it may be that
2772     some of the 'highbrow' applied mathematics will become 'useful' in as unexpected
2773     a way;&nbsp; but the evidence so far points to the conclusion that, in one subject as
2774     in the other, it is what is commonplace and dull that counts for practical
2775     life.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p.132. (Written
2776     around 1940, this was an uncanny precursor to nuclear weaponry.)</li>
2777     <li>&quot;There is one comforting conclusion which is easy for a real
2778     mathematician.&nbsp; Real mathematics has no effects on war.&nbsp; No one has yet discovered
2779     any warlike purpose to be served by the theory of numbers or relativity, and it
2780     seems unlikely that anyone will do so for many years.&nbsp; It is true that there are
2781     branches of applied mathematics, such as ballistics and aerodynamics, which have
2782     been developed deliberately for war and demand a quite elaborate technique: it
2783     is perhaps hard to call them 'trivial', but none of them has any claim to rank
2784     as 'real'.&nbsp; They are indeed repulsively ugly and intolerably dull; even
2785     Littlewood could not make ballistics respectable, and if he could not who
2786     can?&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p. 140. (Written
2787     around 1940, this was an uncanny precursor to nuclear weaponry.&nbsp; Also, Snow
2788     writes in the foreword, pp. 39-40, &quot;Hardy's close friends were away at the
2789     war.&nbsp; Littlewood was doing ballistics as a Second Lieutenant in the Royal
2790     Artillery.&nbsp; Owing to his cheerful indifference he had the distinction of
2791     remaining a Second Lieutenant through the four years of the war.&quot;)</li>
2792     <li>&quot;... there are two sharply contrasted views about modern
2793     scientific war.&nbsp; The first and the most obvious is that the effect of science on
2794     war is merely to magnify its horror, both by increasing the sufferings of the
2795     minority who have to fight and by extending them to other classes.&nbsp; This is the
2796     most natural and the orthodox view.&nbsp; But there is a very different view which
2797     seems also quite tenable, and which has been stated with great force by Haldane
2798     in <i>Callinicus</i>.&nbsp; It can be maintained that modern warfare is <i>less</i>
2799     horrible than the warfare of pre-scientific times;&nbsp; the bombs are probably more
2800     merciful than bayonets;&nbsp; that lachrymatory gas and mustard gas are perhaps the
2801     most humane weapons yet devised by military science;&nbsp; and that the orthodox view
2802     rests solely on loose-thinking sentimentalism.&nbsp; It may also be urged (although
2803     this was not one of Haldane's theses) that the equalization of risks which
2804     science was expected to bring would be in the long run salutary;&nbsp; that a
2805     civilian's wife is not worth more than a soldier's, nor a woman's more than a
2806     man's;&nbsp; that anything is better than the concentration of savagery on one
2807     particular class;&nbsp; and that, in short, the sooner the war comes 'all out' the
2808     better.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p. 142</li>
2809     <li>&quot;When the world is mad, a mathematician may find in mathematics an
2810     incomparable anodyne.&nbsp; For mathematics is, of all the arts and sciences, the most
2811     austere and the most remote, and a mathematician should be for all men the one
2812     who can most easily take refuge where, as Bertrand Russell says, 'one at least
2813     of our nobler impulese can best escape from the dreary exile of the actual
2814     world'.&nbsp; It is a pity that is should be necessary to make one very serious
2815     reservation--he must not be too old.&nbsp; Mathematics is not a contemplative but a
2816     creative subject; no one can draw much consolation from it when he has lost the
2817     power or the desire to create; and that is apt to happen to a mathematician
2818     rather soon.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p. 143</li>
2819     <li>&quot;I cannot remember ever having wanted to be anything but a
2820     mathematician.&nbsp; I suppose that it was always clear that my specific abilities lay
2821     that way, and it never occurred to me to question the verdict of my elders.&nbsp;
2822     I do
2823     not remember having felt, as a boy, any <i>passion</i> for mathematics, and such
2824     notions as I may have had of the career of a mathematician were far from noble.&nbsp;
2825     I thought of mathematics in terms of examinations and scholarships:&nbsp; I wanted to
2826     beat other boys, and this seemed to be the way in which I could do so most
2827     decisively.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p. 144</li>
2828     <li>&quot;I had of course found at school, as every future mathematician does,
2829     that I could often do things much better than my teachers; and even at Cambridge
2830     I found, though naturally much less frequently, that I could sometimes do things
2831     better than the College lecturers.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's
2832     Apology</i>, p. 146-147</li>
2833     <li>&quot;It is plain now that my life, for what it is worth, is finished, and
2834     that nothing I can do can perceptibly increase or diminish its value.&nbsp; It is very
2835     difficult to be dispassionate, but I count it as a 'success';&nbsp; I have had more
2836     reward and not less than was due to a man of my particular grade of ability.&nbsp;
2837     I have held a series of comfortable and 'dignified' positions.&nbsp; I have had very
2838     little trouble with the duller routine of universities.&nbsp; I hate 'teaching', and
2839     have had to do very little, such teaching as I have done having been almost
2840     entirely supervision of research;&nbsp; I love lecturing, and have lectured a great
2841     deal to extremely able classes;&nbsp; and I have always had plenty of leisure for the
2842     researches which have been the one great permanent happiness of my life.&nbsp; I have
2843     found it easy to work with others, and have collaborated on a large scale with
2844     two exceptional mathematicians; and this has enabled me to add to mathematics a
2845     good deal more than I could reasonably have expected.&nbsp; I have had my
2846     disappointments, like any other mathematician, but none of them has been too
2847     serious or has made me particularly unhappy.&nbsp; If I had been offered a life
2848     neither better nor worse when I was twenty, I would have accepted without
2849     hesitation.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p. 149</li>
2850     <li>&quot;My choice was right, then, if what I wanted was a reasonably
2851     comfortable and happy life.&nbsp; But solicitors and stockbrokers and bookmakers often
2852     lead comfortable and happy lives, and it is very difficult to see how the world
2853     is richer for their existence.&nbsp; Is there any sense in which I can claim that my
2854     life has been less futile than theirs?&nbsp; It seems to me again that there is only
2855     one possible answer: yes, perhaps, but, if so, for one reason only.&nbsp; I have never
2856     done anything 'useful'.&nbsp; No discovery of mine has made, or is likely to make,
2857     directly or indirectly, for good or ill, the least difference to the amenity of
2858     the world.&nbsp; I have helped to train other mathematicians, but mathematicians of
2859     the same kind as myself, and their work has been, so far at any rate as I have
2860     helped them to it, as useless as my own.&nbsp; Judged by all practical standards, the
2861     value of my mathematical life is nil; and outside mathematics it is trivial
2862     anyhow.&nbsp; I have just one chance of escaping a verdict of complete triviality,
2863     that I may be judged to have created something worth creating.&nbsp; And that I have
2864     created something is undeniable: the question is about its value.&nbsp; The case for
2865     my life, then, or for that of any one else who has been a mathematician in the
2866     same sense in which I have been one, is this: that I have added something to
2867     knowledge, and helped others to add more; and that these somethings have a value
2868     which differs in degree only, and not in kind, from that of the creations of the
2869     great mathematicians, or of any of the other artists, great or small, who have
2870     left some kind of memorial behind them.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's
2871     Apology</i>, pp. 150-151</li>
2872     </ul>
2873     <p><b><u>Note:</u></b>&nbsp; As of May 11, 2003, Hardy's book, <i>A
2874     Mathematician's Apology</i>, is <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0521427061/qid=1052633115/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/102-8561334-0224108?v=glance&amp;s=books">available
2875     new from Amazon</a> for $11.90.&nbsp; Also as of May 11, 2003, there are <a href="http://half.ebay.com/cat/buy/prod.cgi?cpid=2943234&amp;meta_id=1">5
2876     copies available at Half.com</a> for as low as $6.12.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p>
2877     <hr>
2878     <p><b><u><a name="sci_mat_james_s_harris"></a>Scientists And Mathematicians, James S.
2879     Harris</u></b></p>
2880     <ul>
2881     <li>&quot;My peers are Gauss and Euler, not ANY of you.&quot;--James S. Harris, as
2882     the <i> SUBJ</i> field in a <i>sci.math</i> newsgroup post dated July 4, 2002</li>
2883     </ul>
2884     <hr>
2885     <p><b><u><a name="sci_mat_bertrand_russell"></a>Scientists And Mathematicians, Bertrand
2886     Russell</u></b></p>
2887     <ul>
2888     <li>&quot;One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief
2889     that one's work is terribly important.&quot;--Bertrand Russell</li>
2890     </ul>
2891     <hr>
2892     <p><b><u><a name="sci_mat_carl_sagan"></a>Scientists And Mathematicians, Carl
2893     Sagan</u></b></p>
2894     <ul>
2895     <li>&quot;One of the great commandments of science is:&nbsp; 'Mistrust arguments from
2896     authority.'&quot;--Carl Sagan</li>
2897     <li>&quot;Look again at that dot.&nbsp; That's here.&nbsp; That's home.&nbsp; That's us.&nbsp;
2898     On it
2899     everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human
2900     being who ever was, lived out their lives.&nbsp; The aggregate of our joy and
2901     suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines,
2902     every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of
2903     civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother
2904     and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every
2905     corrupt politician, every 'superstar', every 'supreme leader', every saint and
2906     sinner in the history of our species lived here--on a mote of dust suspended in
2907     a sunbeam.&quot;--Carl Sagan, precise source unknown</li>
2908     <li>&quot;The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena.&nbsp; Think of the rivers
2909     of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and
2910     triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot.&nbsp; Think
2911     of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel
2912     on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent
2913     their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent
2914     their hatreds.&quot;--Carl Sagan, precise source unknown</li>
2915     <li>&quot;Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some
2916     privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light.&nbsp;
2917     Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark.&nbsp; In our
2918     obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from
2919     elsewhere to save us from ourselves.&quot;--Carl Sagan, precise source unknown</li>
2920     <li>&quot;The Earth is the only world known so far to harbor life.&nbsp; There is nowhere
2921     else, at least not in the near future, to which our species could migrate.&nbsp;
2922     Visit, yes.&nbsp; Settle, not yet.&nbsp; Like it or not, for the moment the Earth is where we
2923     make our stand.&quot;--Carl Sagan, precise source unknown</li>
2924     <li>&quot;It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building
2925     experience.&nbsp; There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human
2926     conceits than this distant image of our tiny world.&nbsp; To me, it underscores our
2927     responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish
2928     the pale blue dot, the only home we've ever known."--Carl Sagan, <i>Pale
2929     Blue Dot</i>, publication details unknown</li>
2930    
2931     <li>
2932    
2933     &quot;
2934    
2935     If you wish to make an apple pie truly from scratch, you must first invent the universe.&quot;-- Carl
2936     Sagan, astronomer, author (1934-1996)
2937     </li>
2938    
2939     </ul>
2940     <hr>
2941     <p><b><u><a name="software_software_engineering_etc"></a>Software, Software Engineering,
2942     Etc.</u></b></p>
2943     <ul>
2944     <li>&quot;Can
2945     someone give a hint on how many lines of code a programmer can produce a day?&nbsp;
2946     I
2947     know that this depends on the language, etc., but I'm most interested in C/C++.&nbsp;
2948     On my most productive single day, the program I was working on had 3000 fewer
2949     lines than it did when I started.&quot;--quote which Dan Parks got from a newsgroup, source
2950     unknown</li>
2951     <li>&quot;A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved
2952     from a simple system that worked ... A complex system designed from scratch
2953     never works and cannot be patched up to make it work.&nbsp; You have to start over,
2954     beginning with a working simple system.&quot;--Grady Booch</li>
2955     <li>&quot;The trouble with many Software Engineering principles and methodologies
2956     is they don't concentrate on doing the time-consuming, difficult and error-prone
2957     process of getting the system requirements straightened out--instead relying on
2958     'well defined procedures' which are easy to specify, but don't help
2959     much when trying to understand what a system needs to accomplish--or more
2960     importantly, coaxing a non-technical project lead to devote his/her resources to
2961     spending time with the users.&quot;--Unknown</li>
2962     <li>&quot;I've been developing systems of varying complexity since 1990 and have yet to
2963     hear of a software engineering methodology which improves significantly on the
2964     basic principle of studying what the user needs, organizing it, adapting to
2965     change and implementing--usually in combination.&nbsp; UML isn't much more than a
2966     notational change to the entity/relationship/&quot;flowcharting&quot;/whatever we did a decade ago.&nbsp;
2967     The
2968     CASE tools have marginally improved since, but not markedly.&nbsp; But thats only my
2969     take on it ... no doubt I'm part of the problem.--Unknown</li>
2970     <li>&quot;Frankly, I figure the SEI rating stuff has a half-life of about 4 years, its
2971     got 5 or 6 more before it falls into the dustbin of antiquity.&nbsp; But, its in good
2972     company with TQM and all the other philosophies which aren't dealing with the
2973     hard problems.--<i>Possibly</i> from a book by Steve McConnell entitled <i>After
2974     The Gold Rush</i>, but probably from a review of the book.&nbsp; This quote forwarded to
2975     me by Dan Parks in November 2000.</li>
2976     <li>&quot;You can measure a programmer's perspective by noting his attitude on
2977     the continuing viability of FORTRAN.&quot;--Alan Perlis</li>
2978     <li>&quot;The bitterness of poor quality remains long after the sweetness of
2979     meeting the schedule has been forgotten.&quot;--Anonymous</li>
2980     <li>&quot;Requirements are like water. They're easier to build on when they're
2981     frozen.&quot;--Anonymous</li>
2982     <li>&quot;Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for
2983     the rest of your life.&quot;--Michael Sinz</li>
2984     <li>&quot;Bugs lurk in corners and congregate at boundaries.&quot;--Boris
2985     Beizer, <i>Software Testing Techniques</i></li>
2986     <li>&quot;In programming, it's often the 'buts' in the specification that kill
2987     you.&quot;--Boris Beizer, <i>Software Testing Techniques</i></li>
2988     <li>&quot;Poor management can increase software costs more rapidly than any
2989     other factor.&quot;--Barry Boehm</li>
2990     <li>&quot;It should be noted that no ethically-trained software engineer would
2991     ever consent to write a 'DestroyBaghdad' procedure.&nbsp; Basic professional ethics
2992     would instead require him to write a 'DestroyCity' procedure, to which 'Baghdad'
2993     could be given as a parameter.&quot;--Nathaniel S. Borenstein</li>
2994     <li>&quot;The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts
2995     agree, is by accident.&nbsp; That's where we come in; we're computer professionals.&nbsp;
2996     We
2997     cause accidents.&quot;--Nathaniel S. Borenstein</li>
2998     <li>&quot;Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a
2999     feature.&quot;--Bruce Brown</li>
3000     <li>&quot;The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a
3001     programmer is doing until it's too late.&quot;--Seymour Cray</li>
3002     <li>&quot;There are two ways of constructing a software design:&nbsp; One way is to
3003     make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is
3004     to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies.&nbsp; The first
3005     method is far more difficult.&quot;--C. A. R. Hoare</li>
3006     <li>&quot;Premature optimization is the root of all evil in
3007     programming.&quot;--C.
3008     A. R. Hoare</li>
3009     <li>&quot;Programming can be fun, so can cryptography; however they should not
3010     be combined.&quot;--Kreitzberg and Shneiderman</li>
3011     <li>&quot;The only thing more frightening than a programmer with a screwdriver
3012     or a hardware engineer with a program is a user with a pair of wire cutters and
3013     the root password.&quot;--Elizabeth Zwicky</li>
3014     <li>&quot;Programming without an overall architecture or design in mind is like
3015     exploring a cave with only a flashlight:&nbsp; you don't know where you've been, you
3016     don't know where you're going, and you don't know quite where you
3017     are.&quot;--Danny
3018     Thorpe</li>
3019     <li>&quot;Act in haste and repent at leisure; code too soon and debug
3020     forever.&quot;--Raymond Kennington</li>
3021     <li>&quot;At some point you have to decide whether you're going to be a
3022     politician or an engineer.&nbsp; You cannot be both.&nbsp; To be a politician is to champion
3023     perception over reality.&nbsp; To be an engineer is to make perception subservient to
3024     reality.&nbsp; They are opposites.&nbsp; You can't do both
3025     simultaneously.&quot;--H. W. Kenton</li>
3026     <li>&quot;'Don't fix it if it ain't broke' presupposed that you can't improve
3027     something that works reasonably well already.&nbsp; If the world's inventors had
3028     believed this, we'd still be driving Model A Fords and using
3029     outhouses.&quot;--H.
3030     W. Kenton</li>
3031     <li>&quot;There has never been an unexpectedly short debugging period in the
3032     history of computers.&quot;--Steven Levy</li>
3033     <li>&quot;An interactive debugger is an outstanding example of what is not
3034     needed--it encourages trial-and-error hacking rather than systematic design,
3035     and also hides marginal people barely qualified for precision
3036     programming.&quot;--Harald
3037     Mills</li>
3038     <li>&quot;We try to solve the problem by rushing through the design process so
3039     that enough time is left at the end of the project to uncover the errors that
3040     were made because we rushed through the design process.&quot;--Glenford J. Myers</li>
3041    
3042     <li>
3043    
3044     &quot;
3045    
3046     Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.&quot;-- Frederick P. Brooks, Jr. [The Mythical Man-Month]
3047     </li>
3048    
3049     <li>
3050    
3051     &quot;
3052    
3053     Hofstadter's Law:&nbsp; The time and effort required to complete a project are always more than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.&quot;
3054     </li>
3055    
3056     </ul>
3057     <hr>
3058     <p><b><u><a name="sports_and_sports_figures"></a>Sports And Sports Figures</u></b></p>
3059     <ul>
3060     <li>&quot;Big names don't make me weak in the knees.&quot;--Taylor Dent</li>
3061     <li>&quot;The word <i>genius</i> isn't applicable in football.&nbsp; A genius is a
3062     guy like Norman Einstein.&quot;--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback and sports
3063     analyst</li>
3064     <li>&quot;I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my
3065     body.&quot;--Winston Bennett, Univ. of Kentucky basketball forward</li>
3066     <li>&quot;We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.&quot;--Jason Kidd,
3067     upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks</li>
3068     <li>&quot;... the genes almost always accurately reproduce.&nbsp; If they don't,
3069     you get one of the following results:&nbsp; One, monsters--that is, grossly malformed
3070     babies resulting from genetic mistakes.&nbsp; Years ago most monsters died, but now
3071     many can be saved.&nbsp; That has made possible the National Football League."--Cecil
3072     Adams</li>
3073     <li>&quot;Half this game is ninety percent mental.&quot;--Philadelphia Phillies
3074     manager Danny Ozark</li>
3075     </ul>
3076     <hr>
3077     <p><b><u><a name="unpl_wk_sit_bad_bosses_etc"></a>Unpleasant Work Situations, Bad Bosses,
3078     Etc.</u></b></p>
3079     <ul>
3080     <li>&quot;If you're unfortunate enough to have co-workers, you must learn how
3081     to manage them.&nbsp; Otherwise, like so many wildebeests on the plains of the
3082     Serengeti, they will be bumping into you, drinking from your water hole, and
3083     generally kicking up a lot of dust.&nbsp; That will cut into your
3084     happiness.&quot;--Scott
3085     Adams, <i>The Joy Of Work</i>.</li>
3086     <li>&quot;If you can decrease the unpleasantness that you experience at work,
3087     it's almost the same as giving yourself a raise.&quot;--Scott Adams, <i>The Joy
3088     Of Work</i>.</li>
3089     <li>&quot;I have yet to find the man, however exalted his station, who did not
3090     do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than
3091     under a spirit of criticism.&quot;--Charles M. Schwab</li>
3092     </ul>
3093     <hr>
3094     <p><b><u><a name="acknowledgements"></a>Acknowledgements</u></b></p>
3095     <p>Special thanks to Pinar Kondu, Lou Miller, Daniel R. Parks, Jim
3096     Weinfurther and Marilyn A. Ashley
3097     for quotes.</p>
3098     <hr>
3099     <p align="center" style="margin-top: -2; margin-bottom: -1"><font size="1">This
3100     web page is maintained by <a href="mailto:dtashley@users.sourceforge.net">David
3101     T. Ashley</a>.&nbsp; (All donations to this page are welcome, just <a href="mailto:dtashley@users.sourceforge.net">e-mail</a>
3102     them to me.)<br>
3103     Sound
3104     credit: <i>As Good As It Gets</i>.<br>$Header: /cvsroot/esrg/sfesrg/esrgweba/htdocs/devels/quote_farm/quote_farm.htm,v 1.16 2004/04/06 22:32:19 dtashley Exp $</font></p>
3105     <hr noshade size="5">
3106     </body>
3107    
3108     </html>

dashley@gmail.com
ViewVC Help
Powered by ViewVC 1.1.25