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2    
3     <head>
4     <title>The Quote Farm</title>
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7     </head>
8    
9     <body background="../../bkgnds/bk10.gif">
10    
11     <p align="center"><b><font size="4">The Quote Farm</font></b></p>
12     <hr>
13     <p>Each chapter of the book (a work in progress) begins with a quote.&nbsp; The
14     web page is a staging area for quotes that might potentially be used.&nbsp; The
15     Quote Farm was previously an appendix in the book, but it was removed and placed
16     here, since it will not appear in final revisions of the book.</p>
17     <hr>
18     <p><b><u>Bookmarks (To This Page)</u></b></p>
19     <ul>
20 dashley 138 <li><a href="#accident_investigation">Accident Investigation</a>
21 dashley 23 <li><a href="#attractiveness_female">Attractiveness, Female</a></li>
22     <li><a href="#aviation_and_space" target="_self">Aviation And Space</a></li>
23     <li><a href="#beer" target="_self">Beer</a></li>
24     <li><a href="#capitalism" target="_self">Capitalism</a></li>
25     <li><a href="#celeb_beaut_pag_cont" target="_self">Celebrities, Beauty Pageant
26     Contestants</a></li>
27     <li><a href="#celebrities_brooke_shields" target="_self">Celebrities, Brooke
28     Shields</a></li>
29     <li><a href="#celebrities_mariah_carey" target="_self">Celebrities, Mariah
30     Carey</a></li>
31     <li><a href="#censorship" target="_self">Censorship</a></li>
32     <li><a href="#computers_and_computing" target="_self">Computers And Computing</a></li>
33     <li><a href="#courage" target="_self">Courage</a></li>
34     <li><a href="#freedom_and_civil_liberties" target="_self">Freedom And Civil
35     Liberties</a></li>
36     <li><a href="#general_humor" target="_self">General Humor</a></li>
37     <li><a href="#hard_work" target="_self">Hard Work</a></li>
38     <li><a href="#hum_nat_soc_int" target="_self">Human Nature And Social
39     Interactions</a></li>
40     <li><a href="#histfig_napoleon" target="_self">Historical Figures, Napoleon</a></li>
41     <li><a href="#marriage_fav_manview" target="_self">Marriage (Favorable, From The Man's Point Of
42     View)</a></li>
43     <li><a href="#marriage_unfav_genderless" target="_self">Marriage (Unfavorable,
44     Genderless)</a></li>
45     <li><a href="#marriage_unfav_manview" target="_self">Marriage (Unfavorable, From The Man's Point Of
46     View)</a></li>
47     <li><a href="#microsoft" target="_self">Microsoft</a></li>
48     <li><a href="#old_age" target="_self">Old Age</a></li>
49     <li><a href="#pets_cats" target="_self">Pets, Cats</a></li>
50     <li><a href="#philo_aristotle" target="_self">Philosophers, Aristotle</a></li>
51     <li><a href="#philo_henry_david_thoreau" target="_self">Philosophers, Henry David
52     Thoreau</a></li>
53     <li><a href="#police_and_law_enforcement" target="_self">Police And Law
54     Enforcement</a></li>
55     <li><a href="#politfig_winston_churchill" target="_self">Political Figures, Winston
56     Churchill</a></li>
57     <li><a href="#polit_fig_bill_hilary_clinton" target="_self">Political Figures, Bill And Hilary
58     Clinton</a></li>
59     <li><a href="#politfig_al_gore" target="_self">Political Figures, Al Gore</a></li>
60     <li><a href="#politfig_henry_kissinger" target="_self">Political Figures, Henry
61     Kissinger</a></li>
62     <li><a href="#politfig_colin_powell" target="_self">Political Figures, Colin
63     Powell</a></li>
64     <li><a href="#politfig_dan_quayle" target="_self">Political Figures, Dan
65     Quayle</a></li>
66     <li><a href="#politfig_ronald_reagan" target="_self">Political Figures, Ronald
67     Reagan</a></li>
68     <li><a href="#polit_polit_doubletalk" target="_self">Politics, Political Doubletalk,
69     Doubletalk</a></li>
70     <li><a href="#religion" target="_self">Religion</a></li>
71     <li><a href="#sci_mat_marie_curie" target="_self">Scientists And Mathematicians, Marie
72     Curie</a></li>
73     <li><a href="#sci_mat_edsger_dijkstra" target="_self">Scientists And Mathematicians, Edsger
74     Dijkstra</a></li>
75     <li><a href="#sci_mat_albert_einstein" target="_self">Scientists And Mathematicians, Albert
76     Einstein</a></li>
77     <li><a href="#sci_mat_gh_hardy" target="_self">Scientists And Mathematicians,
78     G.H. Hardy</a></li>
79     <li><a href="#sci_mat_james_s_harris" target="_self">Scientists And Mathematicians, James S.
80     Harris</a></li>
81     <li><a href="#sci_mat_bertrand_russell" target="_self">Scientists And Mathematicians, Bertrand
82     Russell</a></li>
83     <li><a href="#sci_mat_carl_sagan" target="_self">Scientists And Mathematicians, Carl
84     Sagan</a></li>
85     <li><a href="#software_software_engineering_etc" target="_self">Software, Software Engineering,
86     Etc.</a></li>
87     <li><a href="#sports_and_sports_figures" target="_self">Sports And Sports
88     Figures</a></li>
89     <li><a href="#unpl_wk_sit_bad_bosses_etc" target="_self">Unpleasant Work Situations, Bad Bosses,
90     Etc.</a></li>
91     <li><a href="#acknowledgements" target="_self">Acknowledgements</a></li>
92     </ul>
93     <hr>
94 dashley 138 <p><b><u><a name="accident_investigation"></a>Accident Investigation</u></b></p>
95     <ul>
96     <li>&quot;Many accident investigations make the same mistake in defining causes.&nbsp;
97     They identify the widget that broke or malfunctioned, then locate the person most closely connected with the
98     technical failure: the engineer who miscalculated an analysis, the operator who missed signals or pulled
99     the wrong switches, the supervisor who failed to listen, or the manager who made bad decisions&nbsp;
100     When causal chains are limited to technical flaws and individual failures, the
101     ensuing responses aimed at preventing a similar event in the future are equally limited:
102     they aim to fix the technical problem and replace or retrain the individual responsible.&nbsp;
103     Such corrections lead to a misguided and potentially disastrous belief that the underlying
104     probem has been solved.&quot;--This appeared in a CRM book by Earl L. Wiener, Barbara G. Kanki, Robert L. Helmreich
105 dashley 141 and cites a 2003 NASA item, need to locate the item.
106 dashley 138 </li>
107 dashley 141 <li>&quot;Indeed, it would not be going too far to say that, if a pilot in command were to create an
108     atmosphere whereby one of his crew members would be hesitant to comment on any action then he would be failing
109     in his duty as pilot in command.&quot;--This appeared in a CRM book by Earl L. Wiener, Barbara G. Kanki, Robert L. Helmreich
110     and cites Vette and Macdonald, 1983, need to locate the item.&nbsp; It was in the context of a Royal Commission inquity into
111     the 1979 crash of Air New Zealand 901 into Mtr. Erebus, Antarctica, and the statement was made by a
112     representative of the New Zealand Air Line Pilots Association (NZALPA).
113     </li>
114 dashley 138 </ul>
115     <hr>
116 dashley 23 <p><b><u><a name="attractiveness_female"></a>Attractiveness, Female</u></b></p>
117     <ul>
118     <li>&quot;She's got what I call bobsled looks: going downhill fast.&quot;--Craig Nova</li>
119     </ul>
120     <hr>
121     <p><b><u><a name="aviation_and_space"></a>Aviation And Space</u></b></p>
122     <ul>
123     <li>&quot;A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away.&nbsp; A
124     'great'
125     landing is one after which they can use the plane again."--Rules of the Air,
126     #8&nbsp; (This quote appeared in the signature of an e-mail by <a href="mailto:benny@bennyvision.com"> Chris
127     Bensend</a>. Chris was careful to point
128     out in subsequent correspondence that he was not the originator of the quote,
129     and is not sure where it comes from.)</li>
130     <li>&quot;A complex system has complex failure modes.&quot;--John J. Nance, ABC
131     aviation correspondent, commenting on February 1, 2003 on the loss of the space
132     shuttle <i>Columbia</i>.</li>
133     </ul>
134     <hr>
135     <p><b><u><a name="beer"></a>Beer</u></b></p>
136     <ul>
137     <li>&quot;He was a wise man who invented beer.&quot;--Plato</li>
138     <li>&quot;Work is the curse of the drinking class.&quot;--Oscar Wilde</li>
139     <li>&quot;Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be
140     happy.&quot;--Benjamin Franklin</li>
141     <li>&quot;If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it
142     makes beer shoot out your nose.&quot;--Deep Thought, Jack Handy</li>
143     <li>&quot;Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is
144     beer.&nbsp; Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel
145     does not go nearly as well with pizza.&quot;--Dave Barry</li>
146     <li>&quot;People who drink light 'beer' don't like the taste of beer; they just
147     like to pee a lot.&quot;--Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI</li>
148     <li>&quot;Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the
149     world.&quot;--Kaiser Wilhelm</li>
150     <li>&quot;Not all chemicals are bad.&nbsp; Without chemicals such as hydrogen and
151     oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in
152     beer.&quot;--Dave Barry</li>
153     <li>&quot;I drink to make other people interesting.&quot;--George Jean Nathan</li>
154     <li>&quot;They who drink beer will think beer.&quot;--Washington Irving</li>
155     <li>&quot;All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me so let's
156     just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.&quot;--Homer Simpson</li>
157     <li>&quot;A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank
158     her.&quot;--W.C. Fields</li>
159     </ul>
160     <hr>
161     <p><b><u><a name="capitalism"></a>Capitalism</u></b></p>
162     <ul>
163     <li>&quot;Companies come and go.&nbsp; It's ... part of the genius of
164     capitalism.&quot;--U.S. Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neill, in January of 2002, in
165     response to the bankruptcy filing by Enron</li>
166     <li>&quot;I've watched lots of corporations come and go.&nbsp; ... There are
167     very few companies that have been around for 40 or 50 years.&nbsp; ... Companies
168     come and go.&nbsp; It's part of the genius of capitalism.&nbsp; People get to make good
169     decisions or bad decisions, and they get to pay the consequences or to enjoy the
170     fruits of their decisions.&nbsp; That's the way the system works.&quot;--U.S. Treasury
171     Secretary Paul O'Neill, in January of 2002, in response to the bankruptcy filing
172     by Enron</li>
173     <li>&quot;I didn't think this was worthy of me running across the street and
174     telling the president.&nbsp; I don't go across the street and tell the president every
175     time somebody calls me.&quot;--U.S. Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neill, in January of
176     2002, defending his decision not to advise President Bush of Enron's financial
177     difficulties</li>
178     <li>&quot;... unless there's an issue related to the company that reaches
179     to public responsibility ... in the American capitalist system, companies
180     are responsible for their actions ...&nbsp; The company had a duty to inform its
181     shareholders and its employees about things that were going on inside the
182     company.&nbsp; That's not a federal government responsibility."--U.S. Treasury
183     Secretary Paul O'Neill, in January of 2002, defending his decision not to take
184     any federal action to help Enron as its stock price collapsed and it was forced
185     into bankruptcy</li>
186     </ul>
187     <hr>
188     <p><b><u><a name="celeb_beaut_pag_cont"></a>Celebrities, Beauty Pageant
189     Contestants</u></b></p>
190     <ul>
191     <li><b>Question:</b>&nbsp; &quot;If you could live forever, would you and why?&quot;&nbsp;
192     <b>Answer:</b>&nbsp; &quot;I
193     would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were
194     supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live
195     forever, which is why I would not live forever&quot;--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss
196     USA contest</li>
197     </ul>
198     <hr>
199     <p><b><u><a name="celebrities_brooke_shields"></a>Celebrities, Brooke Shields</u></b></p>
200     <ul>
201     <li>&quot;Smoking kills.&nbsp; If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of
202     your life.&quot;--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a
203     federal anti-smoking campaign.</li>
204     </ul>
205     <hr>
206     <p><b><u><a name="celebrities_mariah_carey"></a>Celebrities, Mariah Carey</u></b></p>
207     <ul>
208     <li>&quot;Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the
209     world, I can't help but cry.&nbsp; I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with
210     all those flies and death and stuff.&quot;--Mariah Carey</li>
211     </ul>
212     <hr>
213     <p><b><u><a name="censorship"></a>Censorship</u></b></p>
214     <ul>
215     <li>&quot;Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public
216     mind.&quot;--General William Westmoreland</li>
217     </ul>
218     <hr>
219     <p><b><u><a name="computers_and_computing"></a>Computers And Computing</u></b></p>
220     <ul>
221     <li>&quot;A computer lets you make mistakes faster than any other invention,
222     with the possible exception of handguns and Tequila.&quot;--Mitch Ratcliffe, as
223     quoted by <a href="mailto:bryanp@visi.com"> Bryan Packer</a></li>
224     <li>&quot;Programming, an artform that fights back.&quot;--<a href="mailto:adiaz@msi.net.ph">Anuerin G. Diaz</a></li>
225     <li>&quot;A distributed system is one in which the failure of a computer you
226     didn't even know existed can render your own computer unusable.&quot;--Les
227     Lamport, s
228     quoted in newsgroup post by <a href="mailto:rick@ox.compsoc.net"> Richard Heylen</a></li>
229     <li>&quot;Every program has at least one bug and can be reduced by at least one
230     line.&nbsp; By induction, then, every program can be reduced to a single instruction,
231     and that will be wrong.&quot;--From a newsgroup post by <a href="mailto:iddw@hotmail.com"> Dave Hansen</a>
232     in April 2003</li>
233    
234     <li>
235    
236     &quot;
237    
238     I invented the term 'Object Oriented' and I can tell you that I did not have C++ in mind.&quot;-- Alan Kay
239     </li>
240    
241     <li>
242    
243     &quot;
244    
245     Claiming Java is easier than C++ is like saying K2 is shorter than Everest.&quot;-- Larry O'Brien, editor
246     <i> Software Development</i>
247     </li>
248    
249     <li>
250    
251     &quot;
252    
253     A lot of people 'think' they understand C, but it is not only stranger than they imagine, it is stranger than they
254     'can' imagine.&quot;-- Richard A. O'Keefe
255     </li>
256    
257     <li>
258    
259     &quot;
260    
261     C is its own virus.&quot;-- Miguel Gallo
262     </li>
263    
264     <li>
265    
266     &quot;
267    
268     C gives you all the power of assembler ... along with the portability of assembler!&quot;--Unknown
269     </li>
270    
271     <li>
272    
273     &quot;
274    
275     Java is a very popular language-- surprisingly popular considering it doesn't seem to have learnt the lessons of Simula 67.&quot;-- Malcolm Atkinson
276     </li>
277    
278     <li>
279    
280     &quot;
281    
282     The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from.&quot;-- Andrew S. Tanenbaum
283     </li>
284    
285     <li>
286    
287     &quot;The debate over computer-assisted proofs is the high-end version of
288     arguments over using calculators in math classes—whether technology spurs
289     greater achievements by speeding rote calculations or deprives people of
290     fundamentals.&quot;--From an April 6, 2004 article in the New York Times (Web
291     Edition) entitled, &quot;<i>In Math, Computers Don't Lie.&nbsp; Or Do They</i>&quot;,
292     by Kenneth Chang
293     </li>
294    
295     </ul>
296     <hr>
297     <p><b><u><a name="courage"></a>Courage</u></b></p>
298     <ul>
299     <li>&quot;Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities ...
300     because it is the quality which guarantees all others.&quot;--Winston Churchill</li>
301     <li>&quot;The desire for safety stands against every great and noble
302     enterprise.&quot;--Tacitus, Roman historian</li>
303     <li>"One man with courage makes a majority."--Andrew Jackson</li>
304     <li>"What separates the winners from the losers is how a person reacts to
305     each new twist of fate."--Donald Trump</li>
306     <li>"No captain can do very wrong if he places his ship alongside that of
307     the enemy."--Admiral Horatio Nelson</li>
308     <li>&quot;[Admiral Nelson's counsel] guided me time and again.&nbsp; On the eve of
309     the critical battle of Santa Cruz, in which the Japanese ships outnumbered ours
310     more than two to one, I sent my task force commanders this dispatch: <i>ATTACK
311     REPEAT ATTACK</i>.&nbsp; They did attack, heroically, and when the battle was done, the
312     enemy turned away.&nbsp; All problems, personal, national, or combat, become smaller
313     if you don't dodge them, but confront them.&nbsp; Touch a thistle timidly, and it
314     pricks you; grasp it boldly, and its spines crumble.&nbsp; Carry the battle to the
315     enemy!&nbsp; Lay your ship alongside his!&quot;--Admiral William 'Bull' Halsey</li>
316     <li>&quot;Never forget that no military leader has ever become great without
317     audacity.&quot;--Karl von Clausewitz</li>
318     </ul>
319     <hr>
320     <p><b><u><a name="freedom_and_civil_liberties"></a>Freedom And Civil Liberties</u></b></p>
321     <ul>
322     <li>&quot;First they came for the political activists, and I didn't defend
323     them, because I wasn't an activist.&nbsp; Then they came for the gun owners, and I
324     didn't defend them, because I wasn't a gun owner.&nbsp; Then they came for the writers
325     and philosophers, and I didn't defend them, because I wasn't a writer or
326     philosopher.&nbsp; Then they came for me, and there was nobody left to defend
327     me.&quot;--Unknown</li>
328     <li>&quot;Those who would trade personal liberties in the name of security
329     shall have neither.&quot;--Ben Franklin</li>
330     <li>&quot;We've been singing the same song in this country for more than 200
331     years.&nbsp; It's a very good song, and I want to keep singing it.&nbsp; I'm very leery of
332     changing the lyrics.&quot;--Art Babbott, Flagstaff, Arizona City Council member,
333     who sponsored the December, 2002 resolution in Flagstaff urging federal
334     authorities to respect citizens' civil rights when fighting terrorism</li>
335     </ul>
336     <hr>
337     <p><b><u><a name="general_humor"></a>General Humor</u></b></p>
338     <ul>
339 dashley 277 <li>
340     &quot;It's always darkest just before it goes totally black.&quot;--Motley Fool Money, with respect
341     to investing.&nbsp; This quote likely comes from elsewhere.
342     </li>
343     <li>&quot;I hope I don't sound like an old-fashioned stick-in-the-mud, but when
344 dashley 23 I hear about people making vast fortunes without doing any productive work or
345     contributing anything to society, my reaction is: 'How can I get in on
346     that?'&quot;--Dave Barry</li>
347     <li>&quot;I may seem more arrogant, but I think that's just because you didn't
348     realize how arrogant I was before.&quot;--Jeffrey Hobbs, Tcl Ambassador, Ajuba
349     Solutions</li>
350     <li>&quot;Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same
351     reactions in the brain as marijuana.&nbsp; The researchers also discovered other
352     similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are.&quot;--Matt Lauer
353     on NBC's <i>Today</i> show</li>
354     <li>&quot;Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.&quot;--Gloria
355     Steinem.</li>
356     <li>&quot;I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from
357     them.&nbsp; There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians
358     were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves.&quot;--John Wayne</li>
359     <li>&quot;Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we
360     received notice that you passed away.&nbsp; May God bless you.&nbsp; You may reapply if
361     there is a change in your circumstances.&quot;--Department of Social Services,
362     Greenville, South Carolina</li>
363     <li>&quot;We apologize for the error in last week's paper in which we stated
364     that Mr. Arnold Dogbody was a defective in the police force.&nbsp; We meant, of
365     course, that Mr. Dogbody is a detective in the police farce.&quot;--Correction
366     Notice in the Ely Standard, a British newspaper</li>
367     <li>&quot;If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as
368     they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night.&nbsp; And the
369     next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record.&quot;--Mark S. Fowler,
370     FCC Chairman</li>
371     <li>&quot;Although small, silky sharks are bad news.&nbsp; They're nervous, they're
372     aggressive, and there's lots of them.&quot;--<i>Sharks In The Golden Triangle</i>,
373     CBC.</li>
374     <li>&quot;People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's
375     safer to harrass rich women than motorcycle gangs.&quot;--from a rubber stamp
376     purchased at <i>Chestnut Creek, Inc.</i> in Dearborn, Michigan, USA.</li>
377     <li>&quot;Theory may inform, but Practice convinces.&quot;--George Bain.</li>
378     <li>&quot;I used to be disgusted, now I find I'm just amused.&quot;--Elvis
379     Costello.</li>
380     <li>&quot;Heroic people have heroic flaws.&quot;--Unknown</li>
381     <li>&quot;The reason I rob banks is 'cause that's where the money
382     is.&quot;--Willie Sutton</li>
383     <li>&quot;A lot of you are making security products that are an attractive
384     nuisance.&nbsp; Shame on you.&nbsp; I want you to grow up.&nbsp; I want functions and assurances
385     in security devices.&nbsp; We do not beta test on customers.&nbsp; If my product fails,
386     someone might die.&quot;--Brian Snow, of the National Security Agency's Information
387     Systems Security Organization, speaking at the Black Hat Briefings security
388     conference</li>
389     <li>&quot;There are three kinds of people: the ones that learn by reading, the
390     few who learn by observation, and the rest of them who have to touch the fire to
391     see for themselves if it's really hot.&quot;--Unknown</li>
392     <li>&quot;A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into
393     theorems.&quot;--Paul Erdos</li>
394     <li>&quot;A person needs only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape.&nbsp; If it doesn't
395     move and it should, use the WD-40.&nbsp; If it moves and it shouldn't, use the
396     tape.&quot;--Unknown</li>
397     <li>&quot;Fame is vapor, popularity is an accident, riches take wings.&nbsp; Only one
398     thing endures and that is character.&quot;--Horace Greeley</li>
399     <li>&quot;My mother is such an alarmist, always worried!&nbsp; One little cough, and
400     she thinks I have pneumonia.&nbsp; One little headache, and she is sure that I have a
401     brain tumor.&nbsp; One little lie, and she thinks I am destined to be president
402     ... .&quot;--Unknown</li>
403     <li>&quot;Stupidity is a renewable resource.&quot;--Unknown</li>
404     <li>&quot;Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking
405     about.&quot;--Unknown</li>
406     <li>&quot;A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the
407     support of Paul.&quot;--G. B. Shaw</li>
408     <li>&quot;All human beings should try to learn before they die what they are
409     running from, and to, and why.&quot;--James Thurber</li>
410     <li>&quot;It is with rivers as it is with people: the greatest are not the most
411     agreeable nor the best to live with.&quot;--Henry van Dyke</li>
412     <li>&quot;Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow that
413     talent to the dark place where it leads.&quot;--Erica Jong</li>
414     <li>&quot;A government that is big enough to give you all you want is big
415     enough to take it all away.&quot;--Barry Goldwater</li>
416     <li>&quot;If a hole is in the wrong place, then no amount of digging is going
417     to put it in the right place.&quot;--Edward de Bono</li>
418     <li>&quot;Misers aren't fun to live with, but they make wonderful
419     ancestors.&quot;--David Brenner</li>
420     <li>&quot;One way to prevent progress is by arguing that any first step is
421     unfair to somebody.&quot;--Unknown</li>
422     <li>&quot;People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't
423     realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.&quot;--Calvin
424     (&amp; Hobbes)</li>
425     <li>&quot;Montreal winters are an intelligence test, and we who are here have
426     failed it.&quot;--Doug Camilli</li>
427     <li>&quot;Growing up, my mom always claimed to feel bad when a bird would slam
428     head-first into our living room window.&nbsp; If she <i>really</i> felt bad, though,
429     she'd have moved the bird feeder outside.&quot;--Rich Johnson</li>
430     <li>&quot;I realize that there are certain hardships that only females must
431     endure, such as childbirth, waiting in lines for public-restroom stalls, and a
432     crippling, psychotic obsession with shoe color.&nbsp; Also, females tend to reach
433     emotional maturity very quickly, so that by age 7 they are no longer capable of
434     seeing the humor in loud inadvertent public blasts of flatulence, whereas males
435     can continue to derive vast enjoyment from this well into their 80s.&quot;--Dave
436     Barry</li>
437     <li>"Disease generally begins that equality which death completes; the
438     distinctions which set one man so much above another are very little perceived
439     in the gloom of a sick chamber, where it will be vain to expect entertainment
440     from the gay, or instruction from the wise; where all human glory is
441     obliterated, the wit is clouded, the reasoner perplexed, and the hero subdued;
442     where the highest and brightest of mortal beings finds nothing left him but the
443     consciousness of innocence."--Samuel Johnson</li>
444     <li>"More and more, our relationship with the industrial food industry
445     begins to resemble the one it has with its chickens, pigs and cows.&nbsp; In exchange
446     for zero responsibility, we get zero control."--Kalle Lasn, <i>Culture Jam</i></li>
447     <li>"Es ist ein Bluff.&nbsp; Sie können Autos und Kühlschränke
448     bauen, aber keine Flugzeuge!"--Hermann Göring im Jahre 1941 über
449     die industriellen Fähigkeiten der U.S.A</li>
450     <li>"There's no such thing as a <i>pretty good</i> alligator wrestler."--Original source unknown:&nbsp;
451     reprinted in February 2001 Scientific
452     American, Steve Mirsky's column</li>
453     <li>"I'd rather work with someone who's good at their job but doesn't like
454     me, than someone who likes me but is a ninny."--Sam Donaldson, as reproduced
455     in the July 2001 <i>Reader's Digest</i></li>
456     <li>"Pain is candy for the focused mind."--Agent Bobby Hobbes (actor
457     Paul Ben-Victor) in <i>The Invisible Man</i>, air date July 27, 2001 on the
458     Sci-Fi Channel</li>
459     <li>
460     "The greatest tragedy in mankind's entire history may be the hijacking
461     of morality by religion.&nbsp; However valuable--even necessary--that may have been
462     in enforcing good behavior on primitive peoples, their association is now
463     counterproductive.&nbsp; Yet at the very moment when they should be decoupled,
464     sanctimonious nitwits are calling for a return to morals based on superstition."--Arthur C. Clarke</li>
465     <li>
466     "The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content."--Unknown
467     </li>
468     <li>
469     "I live in my own little world.&nbsp; But it's ok...they know me here. "--Unknown
470     </li>
471     <li>
472     "I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Implants?"'--Unknown
473     </li>
474     <li>
475     "I don't do drugs anymore 'cause I find I get the same effect just
476     standing up really fast."--Unknown
477     </li>
478     <li>
479     "Sign In Pet Store:&nbsp; 'Buy one dog, get one flea ..."--Unknown
480     </li>
481     <li>
482     "Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with."--Unknown
483     </li>
484     <li>
485     "I got a sweater for Christmas ... I wanted a screamer or a moaner."--Unknown
486     </li>
487     <li>
488     "I don't approve of political jokes ... I've seen too many of
489     them get elected."--Unknown
490     </li>
491     <li>
492     "There are two sides to every divorce:&nbsp; yours and shithead's."--Unknown
493     </li>
494     <li>
495     "If life deals you lemons, make lemonade;&nbsp; if it deals you tomatoes,
496     make Bloody Marys.&nbsp; But if it deals you a truckload of hand grenades ... now
497     THAT'S a message!!"--Unknown
498     </li>
499     <li>
500     "I love being married.&nbsp; It's so great to find that one special person
501     you want to annoy for the rest of your life."--Unknown
502     </li>
503     <li>
504     "Shopping tip:&nbsp; You can get shoes for 85 cents at the bowling alley."--Unknown
505     </li>
506     <li>
507     "I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect."--Unknown
508     </li>
509     <li>
510     "I married my wife for her looks ... but not the ones she's been
511     giving me lately!"--Unknown
512     </li>
513     <li>
514     "Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days
515     I've stayed alive."--Unknown
516     </li>
517     <li>
518     "Two peanuts were walking down the street.&nbsp; One was a salted."--Unknown
519     </li>
520     <li>
521     "Isn't it funny how the mood can be ruined so quickly by just one
522     busted condom?"--Unknown
523     </li>
524     <li>
525     "If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead
526     rabbits on the highway?"--Unknown
527     </li>
528     <li>
529     "Welcome To Shit Creek--Sorry, We're Out of Paddles!"--Unknown
530     </li>
531     <li>
532     "How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50
533     for Miss America?"--Unknown
534     </li>
535     <li>
536     "Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing
537     section in a swimming pool?"--Unknown
538     </li>
539     <li>
540     "Marriage changes passion ... suddenly you're in bed with a relative."--Unknown
541     </li>
542     <li>
543     "Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?"--Unknown
544     </li>
545     <li>
546     "The next time you feel like complaining remember:&nbsp; Your garbage
547     disposal probably eats better than thirty percent of the people in this world."--Unknown
548     </li>
549     <li>
550     "Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled."--Unknown
551     </li>
552     <li>
553     "Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words:&nbsp; 'Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's
554     been.'&quot;--Unknown
555     </li>
556     <li>
557     "I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone,
558     but they've always worked for me."--Hunter S. Thompson
559     </li>
560     <li>
561     "I speak Spanish to God, Italian to women, French to men, and German
562     to my dog."--Emporer Charles V
563     </li>
564     <li>
565     "It is unfortunate that the HP board has seemingly missed what the
566     company's stockholders have clearly recognized:&nbsp; that dissent is not disloyalty,
567     that healthy boards need not agree on every issue and that while the management
568     and board may run the company, the stockholders are the true owners of the
569     company."--Walter Hewlett, in a statement after not being reappointed to the
570     Hewlett-Packard board of directors in March of 2002 due to an adversarial
571     relationship with the company
572     </li>
573     <li>
574     "Be true to your teeth or they will be false to you."--Unknown
575     </li>
576     <li>
577     "An exclamation point is like laughing at your own joke."--F. Scott
578     Fitzgerald
579     </li>
580     <li>
581     "It is not enough to succeed.&nbsp; Others must fail."--Gore Vidal
582     </li>
583     <li>
584     "Nostalgia isn't what it used to be."--Unknown
585     </li>
586     <li>
587     "They call television a medium because nothing's well done."--Goodman Ace.
588     </li>
589     <li>
590     "Diplomacy is the art of saying 'nice doggie' 'till you can find a rock."--Wynn Catlin
591     </li>
592     <li>
593     "I'm worried that just as clothes dryers have the knack of making
594     socks disappear, the federal government has discovered a core competency of
595     losing computers."--Charles E. Grassley (R-Iowa) in an August 2002 letter to
596     Mitchell E. Daniels Jr., director of the Office of Management and Budget, in
597     response to a report that thousands of personal computers were lost within the
598     IRS
599     </li>
600     <li>
601     "You can't outrun Death forever.&nbsp; But you can make the Bastard work for it."--Major Korgo
602     Korgar, "Last of The Lancers", AFC 32&nbsp; (This quote
603     appeared as a slide starting the episode <i>Lava and Rockets, Episode \#213</i>
604     of the TV series <i>Andromeda</i> in 2002.&nbsp; It is not clear to me if this is a
605     real quote by a fictitious person (is Korgo Korgar real?) or whether it is based
606     on a real-life quote by another person, or whether it was created by the show's
607     writers.&nbsp; This needs to be researched.)
608     </li>
609     <li>
610     "Will someone please explain to me the logic that says we can trust
611     someone with a Boeing 747 in bad weather, but not with a Glock 9 millimeter?"--Senator Zell Miller, in 9/2002 in support of a measure allowing
612     the arming of airline pilots
613     </li>
614     <li>
615     "The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies,
616     the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of
617     animals I have ever seen.&nbsp; Thank God for the United States Marine Corps!"--Eleanor Roosevelt, First Lady of the United States, 1945
618     </li>
619     <li>
620     "You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white
621     guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the Swiss hold the Americas Cup, France is
622     accusing the U.S. of arrogance, and Germany doesn't want to go to war."--Unknown Author (Received via e-mail during operation
623     <i>Iraqi Freedom</i> on March 25, 2003.)
624     </li>
625     <li>
626     "Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine."--Author
627     unknown, in the footer of a newsgroup post by <a href="mailto:iddw@hotmail.com"> Dave Hansen</a>
628     in April 2003.
629     </li>
630     <li>
631     &quot;Every great scientific truth goes through three states:&nbsp; first,
632     people say it conflicts with the Bible; next, they say it has been discovered
633     before; lastly, they say they always believed it.&quot;---Louis Agassiz
634     (1807-1873), Swiss-born American naturalist.
635     </li>
636     <li>
637     &quot;Laugh and the world laughs with you.&nbsp; Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.&quot;--Laurie
638     Kuslansky
639     </li>
640     <li>
641     &quot;My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being, hitting my
642     head on the top bunk bed until I faint.&quot;--Erma Bombeck
643     </li>
644     <li>
645     &quot;A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.&quot;--Rhonda
646     Hansome
647     </li>
648     <li>
649     &quot;The phrase 'working mother' is redundant.&quot;--Jane Sellman
650     </li>
651     <li>
652     &quot;Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows.&quot;--Jennifer
653     Unlimited
654     </li>
655     <li>
656     &quot;Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half
657     as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.&quot;--Charlotte Whitton
658     </li>
659     <li>
660     &quot;I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at
661     once.&quot;--Jennifer Unlimited
662     </li>
663     <li>
664     &quot;If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible
665     warning.&quot;--Catherine
666     </li>
667     <li>
668     &quot;When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years
669     before they realized I actually had a hearing loss.&nbsp; And they called ME slow!&quot;--Kathy
670     Buckley
671     </li>
672     <li>
673     &quot;I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb ...
674     and I'm also not blonde.&quot;--Dolly Parton
675     </li>
676     <li>
677     &quot;If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.&quot;--Sue
678     Grafton
679     </li>
680     <li>
681     &quot;I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.&quot;--Roseanne
682     Barr
683     </li>
684     <li>
685     &quot;When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping.&nbsp; Men invade another
686     country.&quot;--Elayne Boosler
687     </li>
688     <li>
689     &quot;Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.&quot;--Maryon Pearson
690     </li>
691     <li>
692     &quot;In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man- if you want anything done,
693     ask a woman.&quot;--Margaret Thatcher
694     </li>
695     <li>
696     &quot;I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a
697     career.&quot;--Gloria Steinem
698     </li>
699     <li>
700     &quot;I am a marvelous housekeeper.&nbsp; Every time I leave a man I keep his house.&quot;--Zsa
701     Zsa Gabor
702     </li>
703     <li>
704     &quot;Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.&quot;--Eleanor
705     Roosevelt
706     </li>
707     <li>&quot;In this world there are only two tragedies; one is not getting what one wants,
708     the other is getting it.&quot;-- Oscar Wilde
709     </li>
710    
711     <li>&quot;It's so much easier to suggest solutions when you don't know too much about the problem.&quot;--Malcolm Forbes (1919 - 1990)
712     </li>
713    
714     <li>&quot;I have always wished that my computer would be as easy to use as my telephone.&nbsp;
715     My wish has come true.&nbsp; I no longer know how to use my telephone.&quot;--Bjarne Stroustrup, computer science professor, designer of C++ programming language (1950- )
716     </li>
717    
718     <li>&quot;In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.&quot;--Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914), The Devil's Dictionary
719     </li>
720    
721     <li>&quot;Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon filled with backup tapes.&quot;--Jim Gray, ACM Turing Award winner
722     </li>
723    
724     <li>&quot;A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against its government.&quot;--Edward Abbey, naturalist and author (1927-1989)
725     </li>
726    
727     <li>&quot;When governments fear the people there is liberty.&nbsp; When the people fear the government there is tyranny.&quot;--Thomas Jefferson, third US president, architect and author (1743-1826)
728     </li>
729    
730     <li>&quot;The hardest person to awaken is the one already awake.&quot;--Tagalog saying
731     </li>
732    
733     <li>&quot;Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.&quot;--Hanlon's Razor
734     </li>
735    
736     <li>&quot;It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.&quot;--James Thurber (1894 - 1961)
737     </li>
738    
739     <li>
740    
741     &quot;Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest.&quot;--Isaac
742     Asimov, author (1920 - 1992)
743     </li>
744    
745     <li>
746    
747    
748     &quot;Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status.&quot;--Laurence J. Peter (1919 - 1988)
749     </li>
750    
751     <li>
752    
753     &quot;Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses.&quot;--Unknown
754     </li>
755    
756     <li>
757    
758     &quot;Patriotism is the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons.&quot;--Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)
759     </li>
760    
761     <li>
762    
763     &quot;'My country, right or wrong,' is a thing that no patriot would think of saying except in a desperate case.&nbsp;
764     It is like saying, 'My mother, drunk or sober.'&quot; - G. K. Chesterton (1874 - 1936)
765     </li>
766    
767     <li>
768    
769     &quot;When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad, and that is my religion.&quot;--Abraham Lincoln, US President (1809 - 1865) (attributed)
770     </li>
771    
772     <li>&quot;To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public.&quot;--Theodore Roosevelt, 26th US President (1858-1919)
773     </li>
774    
775     <li>
776    
777     &quot;Computers are useless.&nbsp; They can only give you answers.&quot;--Pablo Picasso, artist (1881 - 1973)
778     </li>
779    
780     <li>
781    
782     &quot;Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.&quot;--H. L. Mencken, author (1880 - 1956)
783     </li>
784    
785     <li>
786    
787     &quot;Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.&quot;--Lucius Annaeus Seneca, writer and philosopher (BCE 3-65 CE)
788     </li>
789    
790     <li>
791    
792     &quot;Finance is the art of passing money from hand to hand until it finally disappears.&quot;--Robert W. Sarnoff, RCA executive (1918-1997)
793     </li>
794    
795     <li>
796    
797     &quot;Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.&quot;--Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915)
798     </li>
799    
800     <li>
801    
802     &quot;There are 10<sup>11</sup> stars in the galaxy.&nbsp; That used to be a huge number.&nbsp;
803     But it's only a hundred billion.&nbsp; It's less than the national deficit!&nbsp;
804     We used to call them astronomical numbers.&nbsp; Now we should call them economical numbers.&quot;--Richard Feynman, physicist, Nobel laureate (1918-1988)
805     </li>
806    
807     <li>&quot;The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.&quot;--Samuel Butler (1835 - 1902)
808     </li>
809    
810     <li>
811    
812     &quot;Never express yourself more clearly than you think.&quot;--Niels Bohr
813     </li>
814    
815     <li>
816    
817     &quot;A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn't.&quot;--Unknown
818     </li>
819    
820     <li>
821    
822     &quot;Sometimes I think we're alone in the universe, and sometimes I think we're not.&nbsp;
823     In either case, the idea is quite staggering.&quot;--Arthur C Clarke, science fiction writer (1917- )
824     </li>
825    
826     <li>
827    
828     &quot;Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.&quot;--Kin Hubbard (1868 - 1930)
829     </li>
830    
831     <li>
832    
833     &quot;Whenever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship.&quot;--Harry S Truman (1884 - 1972)
834     </li>
835    
836     <li>
837    
838     &quot;Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.&quot;--George Bernard Shaw, writer, Nobel laureate (1856-1950)
839     </li>
840    
841     <li>
842    
843     &quot;All of the books in the world contain no more information than is broadcast as video in a single large American city in a single year.&nbsp;
844     Not all bits have equal value.&quot;--Carl Sagan, astronomer, author (1934-1996)
845     </li>
846    
847     <li>
848    
849     &quot;The universe is not hostile, nor yet is it friendly.&nbsp; It is simply indifferent.&quot;--John Haynes&nbsp;
850     </li>
851    
852     <li>
853    
854     &quot;A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled.&quot;--Sir Barnett Cocks
855     </li>
856    
857     <li>
858    
859     &quot;Nature is trying very hard to make us succeed, but nature does not depend on us.&nbsp;
860     We are not the only experiment.&quot;--R. Buckminster Fuller, engineer, designer, and architect (1895-1983)
861     </li>
862    
863     <li>
864    
865     &quot;Speech is conveniently located midway between thought and action, where it often substitutes for both.&quot;--John Andrew Holmes, 20th-century American author, physician
866     </li>
867    
868     <li>
869    
870     &quot;Worry is interest paid on trouble before it comes due.&quot;--William R. Inge, clergyman, scholar, and author (1860-1954)
871     </li>
872    
873     <li>
874    
875     &quot;Assassination:&nbsp; The extreme form of censorship.&quot;--George Bernard Shaw, writer, Nobel laureate (1856-1950)
876     </li>
877    
878     <li>
879    
880     &quot;History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.&quot;--Abba Eban, Israeli diplomat (1915-)
881     </li>
882    
883     <li>&quot;Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get.&quot;--Anonymous
884     </li>
885    
886     <li>
887    
888     &quot;The measure of a man's real character is what he would do if he knew he would never be found out.&quot;--Thomas Babington Macaulay, author and statesman (1800-1859)
889     </li>
890    
891     <li>
892    
893     &quot;Life is one long process of getting tired.&quot;--Samuel Butler, British author
894     (1835-1902)
895     </li>
896    
897     <li>
898    
899     &quot;Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.&quot;--Confucius, philosopher and teacher (c. 551-478 BCE)
900     </li>
901    
902     <li>
903    
904     &quot;Never advise anyone to go to war or to marry.&quot;--Spanish Proverb
905     </li>
906    
907     <li>
908    
909     &quot;Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.&quot;--Philip K. Dick, author (1928-1982)
910     </li>
911    
912     <li>
913    
914     &quot;Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom.&nbsp; It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves.&quot;--William Pitt, British prime-minister (1759-1806)
915     </li>
916    
917     <li>
918    
919     &quot;The believer is happy; the doubter is wise.&quot;--Hungarian proverb&nbsp;
920     </li>
921    
922     <li>
923    
924     &quot;Skeptics laugh in order not to weep.&quot;--Anatole France, French author, critic and poet (1844-1924)
925     </li>
926    
927     <li>
928    
929     &quot;I take a simple view of living.&nbsp; It is keep your eyes open and get on with it.&quot;--Laurence Olivier, British actor
930     (1907-1989)
931     </li>
932    
933     <li>
934    
935     &quot;In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life:&nbsp; it goes on.&quot;--Robert Frost, poet (1874-1963)
936     </li>
937    
938     <li>
939    
940     &quot;There are some that only employ words for the purpose of disguising their thoughts.&quot;--Voltaire, philosopher (1694-1778)
941     </li>
942    
943     <li>
944    
945     &quot;I have learnt silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers.&quot;--
946     Kahlil Gibran, mystic, poet and artist (1883-1931)
947     </li>
948    
949     <li>
950    
951     &quot;Human beings are the only creatures who are able to behave irrationally in the name of reason.&quot;--Ashley
952     Montagu, English anthropologist (1905-1999)
953     </li>
954    
955     <li>
956    
957     &quot;Those are my principles.&nbsp; If you don't like them I have others.&quot;--Groucho Marx, comedian (1890-1977)
958     </li>
959    
960     <li>
961    
962     &quot;Always remember that you are unique.&nbsp; Just like everyone else.&quot;--Unattributed
963     </li>
964    
965     <li>
966    
967     &quot;Perfection is attained by slow degrees; it requires the hand of time.&quot;--Voltaire, philosopher (1694-1778)
968     </li>
969    
970     <li>
971    
972     &quot;There's this thing called being so open-minded your brains drop out.&quot;--Richard Dawkins, biologist, author, philosopher (1941-)
973     </li>
974    
975     <li>
976    
977     &quot;All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.&quot;--Sean
978     O'Casey, playwright (1880-1964)
979     </li>
980    
981     <li>
982    
983     &quot;Every man is a damned fool for at least five minutes every day.&nbsp; Wisdom consists in not exceeding the
984     limit.&quot;--Elbert Hubbard, author, editor, printer (1856-1915)
985     </li>
986    
987     <li>
988    
989     &quot;War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.&quot;--Ambrose Bierce, writer (1842-1914)
990     </li>
991    
992     <li>
993    
994     &quot;Never confuse motion with action.&quot;--Benjamin Franklin, statesman, author, and inventor (1706-1790)
995     </li>
996    
997     <li>
998    
999     &quot;Dignity consists not in possessing honors, but in the consciousness that we deserve them.&quot;--Aristotle, philosopher (384-322 BCE)
1000     </li>
1001    
1002     <li>
1003    
1004     &quot;To a man with a hammer, everything looks like a nail.&quot;--Mark Twain, author and humorist (1835-1910)
1005     </li>
1006    
1007     <li>
1008    
1009     &quot;Make haste slowly.&quot;--Caesar Augustus, Roman emperor (63 BCE-14 CE)
1010     </li>
1011    
1012     <li>
1013    
1014     &quot;It is a bit embarrassing to have been concerned with the human problem all one's life and find at the end that one has no more to offer by way of advice than
1015     'try to be a little kinder.'&quot;--Aldous Huxley, novelist (1894-1963)
1016     </li>
1017    
1018     <li>
1019    
1020     &quot;Our sun is one of 100 billion stars in our galaxy.&nbsp; Our galaxy is one of the billions of galaxies populating the universe.&nbsp;
1021     It would be the height of presumption to think that we are the only living things within that enormous immensity.&quot;--Wernher von Braun, rocket engineer (1912-1977)
1022     </li>
1023    
1024     <li>
1025    
1026     &quot;Experience teaches us to be most on our guard to protect liberty when the government's purpose is beneficent.&nbsp;
1027     Men born to freedom are naturally alert to repel invasion of their liberty by evil-minded rulers.&nbsp;
1028     The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding.&quot;--Louis Dembitz Brandeis, lawyer, judge, and writer (1856-1941)
1029     </li>
1030    
1031     <li>
1032    
1033     &quot;When great changes occur in history, when great principles are involved, as a rule the majority are wrong.&quot;--Eugene V. Debs, American Socialist
1034     (1855-1926)
1035     </li>
1036    
1037     <li>
1038    
1039     &quot;I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.&quot;--Brendan Francis Behan, playwright (1923-1964)
1040     </li>
1041    
1042     <li>
1043    
1044     &quot;It may be necessary temporarily to accept a lesser evil, but one must never label a necessary evil as good.&quot;--Margaret Mead, American anthropologist (1901-1978)
1045     </li>
1046    
1047     <li>
1048    
1049     &quot;Be master of your petty annoyances and conserve your energies for the big, worthwhile things.&nbsp;
1050     It isn't the mountain ahead that wears you out--it's the grain of sand in your shoe.&quot;--Robert Service, writer (1874-1958)
1051     </li>
1052    
1053     <li>
1054    
1055     &quot;Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral?&nbsp; It is because we are not the person involved.&quot;--Mark Twain, author and humorist (1835-1910)
1056     </li>
1057    
1058     <li>
1059    
1060     &quot;Money often costs too much.&quot;--Ralph Waldo Emerson, American essayist, poet and philosopher (1803-1882)
1061     </li>
1062    
1063     <li>
1064    
1065     &quot;By three methods we may learn wisdom:&nbsp; First, by reflection, which is noblest; second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third, by experience, which is the bitterest.&quot;--Confucius, philosopher and teacher (c. 551- 478 BCE)
1066     </li>
1067    
1068     <li>
1069    
1070     &quot;Until lions have their historians, tales of the hunt shall always glorify the hunter.&quot;--African
1071     proverb
1072     </li>
1073    
1074     <li>
1075    
1076     &quot;Life is a long lesson in humility.&quot;--James M. Barrie, writer (1860-1937)
1077     </li>
1078    
1079     <li>
1080    
1081     &quot;The man who is a pessimist before forty-eight knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.&quot;--Mark Twain, author (1835-1910)
1082     </li>
1083    
1084     <li>
1085    
1086     &quot;A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.&quot;--George Bernard Shaw, writer, Nobel laureate (1856-1950)
1087     </li>
1088    
1089     <li>
1090    
1091     &quot;A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs--jolted by every pebble in the road.&quot;--Henry Ward Beecher, preacher and writer (1813-1887)
1092     </li>
1093    
1094     <li>
1095    
1096     &quot;Lighthouses are more helpful than churches.&quot;--Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)
1097     </li>
1098    
1099     <li>
1100    
1101     &quot;Sometimes to remain silent is to lie.&quot;--Miguel de Unamuno, philosopher and writer (1864-1936)
1102     </li>
1103    
1104     <li>
1105    
1106     &quot;Excuse my dust.&quot;--Dorothy Parker's own epitaph - poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
1107     </li>
1108    
1109     <li>
1110    
1111     &quot;Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.&quot;--Dorothy Parker - poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
1112     </li>
1113    
1114     <li>
1115    
1116     &quot;If all the girls in attendance were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.&quot;--Dorothy Parker responding to "Wasn't the Yale prom wonderful?" Poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
1117     </li>
1118    
1119     <li>
1120    
1121     &quot;You know, that woman speaks 18 languages, and she can't say 'no' in any of them.&quot;--Dorothy Parker - poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
1122     </li>
1123    
1124     <li>
1125    
1126     &quot;Brevity is the soul of lingerie.&quot;--Dorothy Parker - poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
1127     </li>
1128    
1129     <li>
1130    
1131     &quot;It's a small apartment, I've barely enough room to lay my hat and a few friends.&quot;--Dorothy Parker - poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
1132     </li>
1133    
1134     <li>
1135    
1136     &quot;One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.&quot;--Rita Mae Brown, author (1944- )
1137     </li>
1138    
1139     <li>
1140    
1141     &quot;When a man wants to murder a tiger he calls it sport; when the tiger wants to murder him he calls it ferocity.&quot;--George Bernard Shaw, writer, Nobel laureate (1856-1950)
1142     </li>
1143    
1144     <li>
1145    
1146     &quot;Don't discuss yourself, for you are bound to lose; if you belittle yourself, you are believed; if you praise yourself, you are disbelieved.&quot;--Michel de Montaigne, essayist (1533-1592)
1147     </li>
1148    
1149     <li>
1150    
1151     &quot;Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.&quot;--George Washington (1732-1799)
1152     </li>
1153    
1154     <li>
1155    
1156     &quot;Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful."--Samuel Johnson, English author, lexicographer (1709-1784)
1157     </li>
1158    
1159     <li>
1160    
1161     &quot;To have friends, you know, one need only be good-natured; but when a man has no enemy left there must be something mean about him.&quot;--Oscar Wilde, Anglo-Irish playwright, author (1854-1900)
1162     </li>
1163    
1164     <li>
1165    
1166     &quot;To have doubted one's own first principles is the mark of a civilized man.&quot;--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., poet, novelist, essayist, and physician (1809-1894)
1167     </li>
1168    
1169     <li>
1170    
1171     &quot;If I have been able to see further, it was only because I stood on the shoulders of giants.&quot;--Isaac Newton, mathematician, physicist (1642-1727)
1172     </li>
1173    
1174     <li>
1175    
1176     &quot;Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.&quot;--Will Durant, historian (1885-1981)
1177     </li>
1178    
1179     <li>
1180    
1181     &quot;Every woman is a 10; it just depends on what base you're counting in.&quot;--Unknown
1182     </li>
1183    
1184     <li>
1185    
1186     &quot;Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.&quot;--Abraham Lincoln, statesman, US President (1809-1865)
1187     </li>
1188    
1189     <li>
1190    
1191     &quot;Every society honors its live conformists and its dead troublemakers.&quot;--Mignon McLaughlin, author
1192     </li>
1193    
1194     <li>
1195    
1196     &quot;Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.&quot;--Arthur C. Clarke
1197     </li>
1198    
1199     <li>
1200    
1201     &quot;When men are most sure and arrogant, they are commonly the most mistaken.&quot;--David Hume, philosopher, historian (1711-1776)
1202     </li>
1203    
1204     <li>
1205    
1206     &quot;The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who, in time of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality.&quot;--Dante Alighieri, poet (1265 -1321)
1207     </li>
1208    
1209     <li>&quot;I long to accomplish a great and noble task; but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble.&quot;--Helen Keller, deaf & blind lecturer (1880-1968)
1210     </li>
1211    
1212     <li>
1213    
1214     &quot;I'm proud to pay taxes in the United States; the only thing is, I could be just as proud for half the money.&quot;--Arthur Godfrey
1215     </li>
1216    
1217     <li>
1218    
1219     &quot;Walking is also an ambulation of mind.&quot;--Gretel Ehrlich, novelist, poet, and essayist (1946- )
1220     </li>
1221    
1222     <li>
1223    
1224     &quot;Every saint has a past and every sinner a future.&quot;--Oscar Wilde, writer (1854-1900)
1225     </li>
1226    
1227     <li>&quot;Good judgment comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgment.&quot;--Rita Mae Brown, American writer and playwright
1228     </li>
1229    
1230     <li>
1231    
1232     &quot;People are like stained glass windows: they sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light within.&quot;--Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, psychiatrist and author (1926- )
1233     </li>
1234    
1235     <li>
1236    
1237     &quot;Too many have dispensed with generosity in order to practice charity.&quot;--Albert Camus (1913-1960)
1238     </li>
1239    
1240     <li>
1241    
1242     &quot;Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity.&quot;--Frank Leahy
1243     </li>
1244    
1245     <li>
1246    
1247     &quot;When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President.&nbsp; Now I'm beginning to believe
1248     it.&quot;--Clarence Darrow, lawyer, author (1857-1938)
1249     </li>
1250    
1251     <li>
1252    
1253     &quot;Since Auschwitz we know what man is capable of.&nbsp; And since Hiroshima we know what is at stake.&quot;--Viktor Frankl, author, neurologist and psychiatrist, Holocaust survivor (1905-1997)
1254     </li>
1255    
1256     <li>
1257    
1258     &quot;Choosing the lesser of two evils, is still choosing evil&quot;--Christopher Hampton, British playwright
1259     </li>
1260    
1261     <li>
1262    
1263     &quot;When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.&quot;--Mae West
1264     </li>
1265    
1266     <li>
1267    
1268     &quot;Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.&quot;--Abraham Lincoln, statesman, US President (1809-1865)
1269     </li>
1270    
1271     <li>
1272    
1273     &quot;Never mistake motion for action.&quot;--Ernest Hemingway, writer, journalist (1899-1961)
1274     </li>
1275    
1276     <li>
1277    
1278     &quot;The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing.&nbsp; If you can fake that, you've got it made.&quot;--Groucho Marx
1279     </li>
1280    
1281     <li>
1282    
1283     &quot;Love your enemies, for they tell you your faults.&quot;--Benjamin Franklin, statesman, philosopher, journalist (1706-1790)
1284     </li>
1285    
1286     <li>
1287    
1288     &quot;Pay attention to your enemies, for they are the first to discover your mistakes.&quot;--Antisthenes, Greek philosopher (ca 445- ca 365 BCE)
1289     </li>
1290    
1291     <li>
1292    
1293     &quot;Cannibals prefer those who have no spines.&quot;--Stanislaw Lem
1294     </li>
1295    
1296     <li>
1297    
1298     &quot;I was reading the dictionary.&nbsp; I thought it was a poem about everything.&quot;--Steven Wright, comedian (1955- ?)
1299     </li>
1300    
1301     <li>
1302    
1303     &quot;When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.&quot;--Mark Twain, writer, philosopher (1835-1910)
1304     </li>
1305    
1306     <li>
1307    
1308     &quot;The least initial deviation from the truth is multiplied later a thousand-fold.&quot;--Aristotle, philosopher (ca 384- ca 322 BCE)
1309     </li>
1310    
1311     <li> &quot;I didn't know he was one of the first lawyers!&nbsp; The first human who hurled an insult instead of a stone was the founder of civilization.&quot;--Sigmund Freud, neurologist, founder of psychoanalysis (1856-1939)
1312     </li>
1313    
1314     <li>
1315    
1316     &quot;Trust in Allah, but tie your camel.&quot;--Arabic saying
1317     </li>
1318    
1319     <li>
1320    
1321     &quot;In the midst of great joy, do not promise anyone anything.&nbsp; In the midst of great anger, do not answer anyone's letter.&quot;--Chinese proverb
1322     </li>
1323    
1324     <li>
1325    
1326     &quot;It is not what we do, but also what we do not do, for which we are accountable.&quot;--Moliere, playwright (1622-1673)
1327     </li>
1328    
1329     <li>
1330    
1331     &quot;When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.&nbsp;
1332     But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1333     </li>
1334    
1335     <li>
1336    
1337     &quot;I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1338     </li>
1339    
1340     <li>
1341    
1342     &quot;Familiarity breeds contempt--and children.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1343     </li>
1344    
1345     <li>&quot;Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1346     </li>
1347    
1348     <li>
1349    
1350     &quot;The past may not repeat itself, but it sure does rhyme.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1351     </li>
1352    
1353     <li>
1354    
1355     &quot;I have no color prejudices nor caste prejudices nor creed prejudices.&nbsp;
1356     All I care to know is that a man is a human being, and that is enough for me; he can't be any worse.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1357     </li>
1358    
1359     <li>
1360    
1361     &quot;Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1362     </li>
1363    
1364     <li>
1365    
1366     &quot;Duct tape is like the force.&nbsp; It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe
1367     together ...&quot;--Carl Zwanzig
1368     </li>
1369    
1370     <li>
1371    
1372     &quot;Be careful of reading health books, you might die of a misprint.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1373     </li>
1374    
1375     <li>
1376    
1377     &quot;There are three kinds of lies:&nbsp; lies, damn lies, and statistics.&quot;--Mark Twain (1835-1910)
1378     </li>
1379    
1380     <li>
1381    
1382     &quot;In America, anybody can be president.&nbsp; That's one of the risks you take.&quot;--Adlai Stevenson, statesman (1900-1965)
1383     </li>
1384    
1385     <li>
1386    
1387     &quot;There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.&quot;--Frank Zappa
1388     </li>
1389    
1390     <li>
1391    
1392     &quot;Black holes are where God divided by zero.&quot;--Steven Wright, comedian (1955- ?)
1393     </li>
1394    
1395     <li>
1396    
1397     &quot;If you believe everything you read, better not read.&quot;--Japanese proverb
1398     </li>
1399    
1400     <li>
1401    
1402     &quot;A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.&quot;--Oscar Wilde, writer (1854-1900)
1403     </li>
1404    
1405     <li>
1406    
1407     &quot;So you're the man who can't spell fuck.&quot;--Dorothy Parker to Norman Mailer (he had been convinced by his publisher to use "fug"
1408     instead) Poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
1409     </li>
1410    
1411     <li>
1412    
1413     &quot;You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think&quot;--Dorothy Parker - poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
1414     </li>
1415    
1416     <li>
1417    
1418     &quot;Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1419     </li>
1420    
1421     <li>
1422    
1423     &quot;We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech.&quot;--Kathleen Dixon, Director of women's studies department, Bowling Green State Univ. on disallowing the teaching of a course on Political Correctness
1424     </li>
1425    
1426     <li>
1427    
1428     &quot;Give me ambiguity or give me something else.&quot;--Unattributed
1429     </li>
1430    
1431     <li>
1432    
1433     &quot;Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.&quot;--Soren Kierkegaard, philosopher, theologian (1813-1855)
1434     </li>
1435    
1436     <li>
1437    
1438     &quot;We are not retreating--we are advancing in another direction.&quot;--General Douglas MacArthur (1880-1964)
1439     </li>
1440    
1441     <li>
1442    
1443     &quot;Adults are obsolete children.&quot;--Dr. Seuss (1904-1991)
1444     </li>
1445    
1446     <li>
1447    
1448     &quot;The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.&quot;--James Branch Cabell
1449     </li>
1450    
1451     <li>
1452    
1453     &quot;It should be done with the same degree of alacrity and nonchalance that you would display in authorizing a highly intelligent trained bear to remove your appendix.&quot;--Dan Greenberg
1454     </li>
1455    
1456     <li>
1457    
1458     &quot;To keep your marriage brimming,
1459     With love in the loving cup,
1460     Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
1461     Whenever you're right, shut up.&quot;--Ogden Nash, poet (1902-1971)
1462     </li>
1463    
1464     <li>
1465    
1466     &quot;Having served on various committees, I have drawn up a list of rules:
1467     · Never arrive on time; this stamps you as a beginner.
1468     · Don't say anything until the meeting is half over; this stamps you as being wise.
1469     · Be as vague as possible; this avoids irritating the others.
1470     · When in doubt, suggest that a subcommittee be appointed.
1471     · Be the first to move for adjournment; this will make you popular; it's what everyone is waiting for.&quot;--Harry Chapman
1472     </li>
1473    
1474     <li>
1475    
1476     &quot;Take care of those who work for you and you'll float to greatness on their achievements.&quot;--H.S.M. Burns
1477     </li>
1478    
1479     <li>
1480    
1481     &quot;A remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he is really very good in spite of all the people who say he is very good.&quot;--Robert Graves
1482     </li>
1483    
1484     <li>
1485    
1486     &quot;Television has done much for psychiatry, by spreading information about it as well as contributing to the need for it.&quot;--Alfred Hitchcock
1487     </li>
1488    
1489     <li>
1490    
1491     &quot;The first principle is that you must not fool yourself--and you are the easiest person to fool.&quot;--Richard Feynman, physicist (1918-1988)
1492     </li>
1493    
1494     <li>
1495    
1496     &quot;What if this weren't a hypothetical question?&quot;--Unattributed
1497     </li>
1498    
1499     <li>
1500    
1501     &quot;Everywhere is walking distance ... if you have the time.&quot;--Steven Wright, comedian (1955- ?)
1502     </li>
1503    
1504     <li>
1505    
1506     &quot;He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.&quot;--Chinese proverb
1507     </li>
1508    
1509     <li>
1510    
1511     &quot;It is not enough to have a good mind.&nbsp; The main thing is to use it well.&quot;--Rene Descartes, mathematician, philosopher (1596-1650) in "Le Discours de la Methode," 1637
1512     </li>
1513    
1514     <li>
1515    
1516     &quot;Experience is the comb life gives you after you lose your hair.&quot;--Judith Stearn
1517     </li>
1518    
1519     <li>
1520    
1521     &quot;Life is pleasant.&nbsp; Death is peaceful.&nbsp; It's the transition that's troublesome.&quot;--Isaac
1522     Asimov, science-fiction writer (1920-1992)
1523     </li>
1524    
1525     <li>
1526    
1527     &quot;It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.&quot;--Mark Twain, author and humorist (1835-1910)
1528     </li>
1529    
1530     <li>
1531    
1532     &quot;It is criminal to steal a purse, daring to steal a fortune, a mark of greatness to steal a crown.&nbsp;
1533     The blame diminishes as the guilt increases.&quot;--Johan Christoph Friedrich von Schiller, poet and dramatist (1759-1805)
1534     </li>
1535    
1536     <li>
1537    
1538     &quot;There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.&quot;--Mary Little
1539     </li>
1540    
1541     <li>
1542    
1543     &quot;I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.&quot;--Mae West
1544     </li>
1545    
1546     <li>
1547    
1548     &quot;I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage.&nbsp;
1549     They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.&quot;--Rita
1550     Rudner, comedian
1551     </li>
1552    
1553     <li>
1554    
1555     &quot;I know I am among civilized men because they are fighting so savagely.&quot;--Voltaire, write (1694-1778)
1556     </li>
1557    
1558     <li>
1559    
1560     &quot;If it's fact, it ain't brag.&quot;--Dizzy Dean
1561     </li>
1562    
1563     <li>
1564    
1565     &quot;By all means marry.&nbsp; If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.&nbsp; If you get a bad one, you'll become a
1566     philosopher.&quot;--Socrates, philosopher, teacher (ca 470- ca 399 BCE)
1567     </li>
1568    
1569     <li>
1570    
1571     &quot;I think ... I think it's in my basement.&nbsp; Let me go upstairs and check.&quot;--M.C. Escher, artist (1898-1972)
1572     </li>
1573    
1574     <li>
1575    
1576     &quot;Children aren't happy without something to ignore.&nbsp; And that's what parents were created for.&quot;--Ogden Nash, poet (1902-1971)
1577     </li>
1578    
1579     <li>
1580    
1581     &quot;I find that principles have no real force except when one is well fed.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, humorist (1835-1910)
1582     </li>
1583    
1584     <li>
1585    
1586     &quot;Say not, 'I have found the truth,' but rather, 'I have found a truth.&quot;--Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931)
1587     </li>
1588    
1589     <li>
1590    
1591     &quot;A leader who keeps his ear to the ground allows his rear end to become a target.&quot;--Angie Papadakis
1592     </li>
1593    
1594     <li>
1595    
1596     &quot;Science is built with facts as a house is with stones--but a collection of facts is no more a science than a heap of stones is a house.&quot;--Jules Henry Poincare (1854-1912)
1597     </li>
1598    
1599     <li>
1600    
1601     &quot;Wit is educated insolence.&quot;--Aristotle, philosopher (ca 384- ca 322 BCE)
1602     </li>
1603    
1604     <li>
1605    
1606     &quot;As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.&quot;--Josh Billings
1607     </li>
1608    
1609     <li>
1610    
1611     &quot;A practical man is a man who practices the errors of his forefathers.&quot;--Lord Beaconsfield
1612     </li>
1613    
1614     <li>
1615    
1616     &quot;Teachers open the door, but you must enter by yourself.&quot;--Chinese Proverb
1617     </li>
1618    
1619     <li>
1620    
1621     &quot;Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence of fear.&quot;--
1622     Mark Twain, author, humorist (1835-1910)
1623     </li>
1624    
1625     <li>
1626    
1627     &quot;Pessimist:&nbsp; One who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both.&quot;--
1628     Oscar Wilde, writer, playwright (1854-1900)
1629     </li>
1630    
1631     <li>
1632    
1633     &quot;There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness'.&quot;--Dave Barry
1634     </li>
1635    
1636     <li>
1637    
1638     &quot;There is far more opportunity than there is ability.&quot;--Thomas Edison, inventor (1847-1931)
1639     </li>
1640    
1641     <li>
1642    
1643     &quot;A great deal of intelligence can be invested in ignorance when the need for illusion is deep.&quot;--Saul Belloe
1644     </li>
1645    
1646     <li>
1647    
1648     &quot;I have one share in corporate Earth, and I am nervous about the management.&quot;--E.B. White
1649     </li>
1650    
1651     <li>
1652    
1653     &quot;They called me mad, and I called them mad, and damn them, they outvoted me.&quot;--Nathaniel Lee (on being consigned to a mental institution, circa 17th c.)
1654     </li>
1655    
1656     <li>
1657    
1658     &quot;There are two ways to slide easily through life: to believe everything or to doubt everything; both ways save us from thinking.&quot;--Theodore Rubin
1659     </li>
1660    
1661     <li>
1662    
1663     &quot;When you want to test the depths of a stream, don't use both feet.&quot;--Chinese Proverb
1664     </li>
1665    
1666     <li>
1667    
1668     &quot;A man does not have to be an angel in order to be saint.&quot;--Albert Schweitzer, theologian, philosopher, missionary, physician (1875-1965)
1669     </li>
1670    
1671     <li>
1672    
1673     &quot;Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone.&quot;--Pablo Picasso, artist (1881-1973)
1674     </li>
1675    
1676     <li>
1677    
1678     &quot;There is a point beyond which even justice becomes unjust.&quot;--Sophocles, slave, philosopher, teacher (ca 495? - ca 406 BCE)
1679     </li>
1680    
1681     <li>
1682    
1683     &quot;Television is an invention whereby you can be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your house.&quot;--David Frost
1684     </li>
1685    
1686     <li>
1687    
1688     &quot;A child on the farm sees a plane fly overhead and dreams of a faraway place.&nbsp;
1689     A traveler on the plane sees the farmhouse and thinks of home.&quot;--Carl Burns
1690     </li>
1691    
1692     <li>
1693    
1694     &quot;If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are gone, either write things worth reading or do things worth writing.&quot;--Benjamin Franklin, author, statesman (1706-1790)
1695     </li>
1696    
1697     <li>
1698    
1699     &quot;Adolescence is a period of rapid changes.&nbsp; Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent ages 20 years.&quot;--Changing Times magazine
1700     </li>
1701    
1702     <li>
1703    
1704     &quot;In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice.&nbsp; But, in practice, there is.&quot;--Jan L.A. van de Snepscheut
1705     </li>
1706    
1707     <li>
1708    
1709     &quot;An education isn't how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know.&nbsp;
1710     It's being able to differentiate between what you know and what you don't.&quot;--Anatole France
1711     </li>
1712    
1713     <li>
1714    
1715     &quot;It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.&quot;--Aristotle, philosopher (ca 384- ca 322 BCE)
1716     </li>
1717    
1718     <li>
1719    
1720     &quot;Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, humorist (1835-1910)
1721     </li>
1722    
1723     <li>
1724    
1725     &quot;When you say that you agree to a thing in principle, you mean that you have not the slightest intention of carrying it out.&quot;--Otto von Bismarck, 1st chancellor of German Empire (1815-1898)
1726     </li>
1727    
1728     <li>
1729    
1730     &quot;There are two things that you should never see being made: sausage, and... a political deal.&quot;--Otto von Bismarck (paraphrased) , 1st chancellor of German Empire (1815-1898)
1731     </li>
1732    
1733     <li>
1734    
1735     &quot;Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.&quot;--Ralph Waldo Emerson, essayist, poet (1803-1882)
1736     </li>
1737    
1738     <li>
1739    
1740     &quot;Lottery:&nbsp; a tax on people who are bad at math.&quot;--Unattributed
1741     </li>
1742    
1743     <li>
1744    
1745     &quot;The best index to a person's character is how he treats people who can't do him any good, and how he treats people who can't fight back.&quot;--Abigail Van Buren
1746     </li>
1747    
1748     <li>
1749    
1750     &quot;Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.&quot;--Abraham Lincoln
1751     </li>
1752    
1753     <li>
1754    
1755     &quot;A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines.&nbsp;
1756     With consistency, a great soul has simply nothing to do.&quot;--Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 -1882)
1757     </li>
1758    
1759     <li>
1760    
1761     &quot;All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.&quot;--Mark Twain (1835 -1910)
1762     </li>
1763    
1764     <li>
1765    
1766     &quot;When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?&quot;--Robin Williams
1767     </li>
1768    
1769     <li>
1770    
1771     &quot;Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft--and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.&quot;--Werner von Braun, rocket engineer (1912-1977)
1772     </li>
1773    
1774     </ul>
1775     <hr>
1776     <p><b><u><a name="hard_work"></a>Hard Work</u></b></p>
1777     <ul>
1778     <li>"The only place where <i>success</i> comes before <i>work</i> is in
1779     the dictionary."--Vidal Sassoon</li>
1780     </ul>
1781     <hr>
1782     <p><b><u><a name="hum_nat_soc_int"></a>Human Nature And Social Interactions</u></b></p>
1783     <ul>
1784     <li>"Anyone can be a barbarian; it requires a terrible effort to remain a
1785     civilized man."--Leonard Sidney Woolf</li>
1786     <li>"People start to diet when their stomachs stick out further than their
1787     dickiedoos."--Andy Sipowicz, \emph{NYPD Blue}.</li>
1788     <li>"Feeling guilty is one thing; looking guilty is something entirely
1789     different."--Dylan McCabe, \emph{Beverly Hills 90210}, airdate 04/00.</li>
1790     <li>"Unconfronted behavior will continue."--Unknown</li>
1791     <li>"It is easier to ask forgiveness than permission."--Unknown</li>
1792     <li>"How far you go in life, depends on your being Tender with the young,
1793     Compassionate with the Aged, Sympathetic with the Striving and Tolerant of the
1794     Weak and the Strong. Because, someday in life you will have been all of these."--George Washington Carver.</li>
1795     <li>"Simplicity of character is the natural result of profound thought."--From A Chinese Restaurant Fortune Cookie, 01/26/01
1796     </li>
1797     <li>"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds."--Ralph
1798     Waldo Emerson
1799     </li>
1800 dashley 228 <li>"Better to die on an 80 foot yacht with a 20-old then on a 20-foot yacht with an 80 year old."--Unknown
1801     </li>
1802 dashley 23 </ul>
1803     <hr>
1804     <p><b><u><a name="histfig_napoleon"></a>Historical Figures, Napoleon</u></b></p>
1805     <ul>
1806     <li>&quot;[A]ny commander in chief who undertakes to carry out a plan which he
1807     considers defective is at fault; he must put forth his reasons, insist on the
1808     plan being changed, and finally tender his resignation rather than be the
1809     instrument of his army's downfall.&quot;--Napoleon</li>
1810     </ul>
1811     <hr>
1812     <p><b><u><a name="marriage_fav_manview"></a>Marriage (Favorable, From The Man's Point Of
1813     View)</u></b></p>
1814     <ul>
1815     <li>"A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that
1816     your wife will give you for free."--Anonymous</li>
1817     </ul>
1818     <hr>
1819     <p><b><u><a name="marriage_unfav_genderless"></a>Marriage (Unfavorable,
1820     Genderless)</u></b></p>
1821     <ul>
1822     <li>"Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement-ring, wedding-ring, suffer-ing.&quot;--Unknown</li>
1823     <li>"When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why. When a
1824     ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why."--Unknown</li>
1825     <li>"Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener."--Unknown</li>
1826     <li>"When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of
1827     one thing: either the car or the wife is new."--Unknown</li>
1828     </ul>
1829     <hr>
1830     <p><b><u><a name="marriage_unfav_manview"></a>Marriage (Unfavorable, From The Man's Point Of
1831     View)</u></b></p>
1832     <ul>
1833     <li>"Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not
1834     the only thing in life!"--Anonymous</li>
1835     <li>"An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she
1836     gets the more interested he is in her.&quot;--Agatha Christie</li>
1837     <li>"Bachelors should be heavily taxed.&nbsp; It is not fair that some men
1838     should be happier than others."--Oscar Wilde</li>
1839     <li>"Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper."--Scottish
1840     Proverb</li>
1841     <li>"I don't worry about terrorism.&nbsp; I was married for two years."--Sam
1842     Kinison</li>
1843     <li>"Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't,
1844     they'd be married too."--H. L. Mencken</li>
1845     <li>"Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later;
1846     for another thing, they die earlier."--H. L. Mencken</li>
1847     <li>"A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle."--U2</li>
1848     <li>"I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back."--Anonymous</li>
1849     <li>&quot;I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our
1850     anniversary?'&nbsp; She
1851     said, 'Somewhere I have never been!'&nbsp; I told her, 'How about the
1852     kitchen?'&quot;--Unknown</li>
1853     <li>"We always hold hands.&nbsp; If I let go, she shops."--Unknown</li>
1854     <li>"My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours.&nbsp; That was only for the estimate."--Unknown</li>
1855     <li>"She got a mudpack and looked great for two days.&nbsp; Then the mud fell off."--Unknown</li>
1856     <li>&quot;She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, 'Am I too late for the
1857     garbage?'&nbsp; Following her down the street I yelled, 'No, jump
1858     in!'&quot;--Unknown</li>
1859     <li>&quot;Badd Teddy recently explained to me why he refuses to ever get married.&nbsp;
1860     He said, 'the wedding rings look too much like minature handcuffs
1861     ...'&quot;--Unknown</li>
1862     <li>"If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at
1863     the front door, who do you let in first?&nbsp; The dog of course...!!!&nbsp; At least he'll
1864     shut up after you let him in!"--Unknown</li>
1865     <li>&quot;A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother
1866     and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man
1867     kneeling at a grave.&nbsp; The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and
1868     kept repeating,&nbsp; 'Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?'&nbsp; The first
1869     man approached him and said, 'Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private
1870     grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before.&nbsp; For
1871     whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?'&nbsp; The mourner took a moment to
1872     collect himself then replied, 'My wife's first husband.'&quot;--Unknown</li>
1873     <li>&quot;A couple came upon a wishing well.&nbsp; The husband leaned over, made a wish
1874     and threw in a penny.&nbsp; The wife decided to make a wish, too.&nbsp; But she leaned over
1875     too much; fell into the well and drowned.&nbsp; The husband was stunned for a while
1876     but smiled 'It really works!'&quot;--Unknown</li>
1877     <li>&quot;Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.&nbsp; After marriage,
1878     the 'y' becomes silent.&quot;--Unknown</li>
1879     </ul>
1880     <hr>
1881     <p><b><u><a name="microsoft"></a>Microsoft</u></b></p>
1882     <ul>
1883     <li>"Not using Microsoft products is like being a non-smoker 40 or 50
1884     years ago:&nbsp; you can choose not to smoke, yourself, but it's hard to avoid
1885     second-hand smoke."--M. Tiemann (from an e-mail footer belonging to
1886     Rick Moen--I do not know who M. Tiemann is)</li>
1887     <li>&quot;I sense much NT in you.&nbsp; NT leads to Bluescreen.&nbsp; Bluescreen
1888     leads to downtime.&nbsp; Downtime leads to suffering.&nbsp; NT is the path to the
1889     darkside.&nbsp; Powerful Unix is."--From an SSH mailing list post by <a href="mailto:lorenl@alzatex.com"> Loren
1890     Lang</a> in 12/2001.</li>
1891     <li>"The best way to accelerate a computer running Windows is at 9.8 m/sec<sup>2</sup>.&quot;--From an e-mail footer used by
1892     <a href="mailto:tlaane@lucent.com"> Thomas Laane</a> in 02/2002.</li>
1893     <li>&quot;Mr. Ballmer, Microsoft's chief executive, once referred to Linux's
1894     licensing as 'a cancer that attaches itself in an intellectual property sense to
1895     everything it touches.'&quot;--From a <a href="http://www.nytimes.com" target="_blank">New
1896     York Times</a> article by Thomas Fuller entitled <i>How Microsoft Warded Off Rival</i> on May 15,
1897     2003</li>
1898     <li>&quot;Failure is not an option, it comes bundled with your Microsoft
1899     product.&quot;--From an e-mail footer used by <a href="mailto:news@tux.com.au">Henry
1900     Phillips</a> in May, 2003</li>
1901    
1902     <li>
1903    
1904     &quot;
1905    
1906     Who needs horror movies when we have Microsoft?&quot;-- Christine Comaford, PC Week, 27 Sep 1995
1907     </li>
1908    
1909     <li>
1910    
1911     &quot;
1912    
1913     Where do you want to go today?&nbsp; It doesn't matter, you're coming with us.&quot;-- Microsoft
1914     </li>
1915    
1916     </ul>
1917     <hr>
1918     <p><b><u><a name="old_age"></a>Old Age</u></b></p>
1919     <ul>
1920     <li>&quot;Inside every older person is a younger person--wondering what the hell
1921     happened.--Cora Harvey Armstrong.</li>
1922     <li>&quot;The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.&quot;--Helen Hayes (at
1923     73)</li>
1924     <li>&quot;I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.&quot;--Janette
1925     Barber</li>
1926     <li>&quot;Things are going to get a lot worse before they get
1927     worse.&quot;--Lily Tomlin</li>
1928     <li>&quot;A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.&quot;--Carrie
1929     Snow</li>
1930     <li>&quot;Old age ain't no place for sissies.&quot;--Bette Davis</li>
1931     <li>&quot;Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts
1932     falling apart.&quot;--Caryn Leschen</li>
1933     </ul>
1934     <hr>
1935     <p><b><u><a name="pets_cats"></a>Pets, Cats</u></b></p>
1936     <ul>
1937     <li>"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast."--Unknown</li>
1938     <li>"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods.&nbsp; Cats have never
1939     forgotten this."--Unknown</li>
1940     <li>"Cats are smarter than dogs.&nbsp; You can't get eight cats to pull a sled
1941     through snow."--Jeff Valdez</li>
1942     <li>"As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat."--Ellen Perry Berkeley</li>
1943     <li>"Dogs come when they are called; cats take a message and get back to
1944     you later."--Mary Bly</li>
1945     <li>"Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good
1946     many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia."--Joseph
1947     Wood Krutch</li>
1948     <li>"There are many intelligent species in the universe.&nbsp; They are all
1949     owned by cats."--Unknown</li>
1950     <li>"I have studied many philosophers and many cats.&nbsp; The wisdom of cats is
1951     infinitely superior.&quot;--Hippolyte Taine</li>
1952     <li>"Dogs believe they are human.&nbsp; Cats believe they are God."--Unknown</li>
1953     <li>"You can train a cat to do anything it wants to do."--Unknown</li>
1954     </ul>
1955     <hr>
1956     <p><b><u><a name="philo_aristotle"></a>Philosophers, Aristotle</u></b></p>
1957     <ul>
1958     <li>"It is best that laws should be so constructed as to leave as little
1959     as possible to the decision of those who judge."--Aristotle, <i>Rhetoric</i></li>
1960     <li>"We are what we repeatedly do.&nbsp; Excellence, then is not an act, but a habit."--Aristotle</li>
1961     <li>"Moral excellence comes about as a result of habit.&nbsp; We become just by
1962     doing just acts, temperate by doing temperate acts, brave by doing brave acts."--Aristotle</li>
1963     <li>"Happiness is the exercise of vital powers along lines of excellence,
1964     in a life affording them scope."--Aristotle</li>
1965     </ul>
1966     <hr>
1967     <p><b><u><a name="philo_henry_david_thoreau"></a>Philosophers, Henry David
1968     Thoreau</u></b></p>
1969     <ul>
1970     <li>"There is no rule more invariable than that we are paid for our
1971     suspicions by finding what we suspect."--Henry David Thoreau</li>
1972     </ul>
1973     <hr>
1974     <p><b><u><a name="police_and_law_enforcement"></a>Police And Law Enforcement</u></b></p>
1975     <ul>
1976     <li>"The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out
1977     after you wear them awhile."--From a humorous e-mail entitled <i>Funny
1978     Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1979     <li>"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."--From a humorous e-mail
1980     entitled <i>Funny
1981     Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1982     <li>"So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can
1983     write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"--From a humorous e-mail entitled <i>Funny
1984     Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1985     <li>"Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it
1986     will help.&nbsp; Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"--From a humorous
1987     e-mail entitled <i>Funny
1988     Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1989     <li>"Warning!&nbsp; You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that
1990     again or I'll give you another ticket."--From a humorous e-mail entitled <i>Funny
1991     Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1992     <li>"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk
1993     or not.&nbsp; Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"--From a humorous e-mail entitled <i>Funny
1994     Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1995     <li>"Yeah, we have a quota.&nbsp; Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."--From a humorous e-mail entitled
1996     <i>Funny
1997     Police Quotes</i> received
1998     around 04/08/00.</li>
1999     <li>"Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."--From a humorous
2000     e-mail entitled <i>Funny
2001     Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
2002     <li>"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore.&nbsp; We used to have quotas, but now
2003     we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."--From a humorous e-mail
2004     entitled <i>Funny
2005     Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
2006     <li>"Just how big were those two beers?"--From a humorous e-mail
2007     entitled <i>Funny
2008     Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
2009     <li>"In God we trust, all others are suspects."--From a humorous e-mail
2010     entitled <i>Funny
2011     Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
2012     </ul>
2013     <hr>
2014     <p><b><u><a name="politfig_winston_churchill"></a>Political Figures, Winston
2015     Churchill</u></b></p>
2016     <ul>
2017     <li>"True genius resides in the capacity for evaluation of uncertain,
2018     hazardous, and conflicting information."--Winston Churchill</li>
2019     </ul>
2020     <hr>
2021     <p><b><u><a name="polit_fig_bill_hilary_clinton"></a>Political Figures, Bill And Hilary
2022     Clinton</u></b></p>
2023     <ul>
2024     <li>"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We
2025     are the president."--Hillary Clinton (commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents)</li>
2026     </ul>
2027     <hr>
2028     <p><b><u><a name="politfig_al_gore"></a>Political Figures, Al Gore</u></b></p>
2029     <ul>
2030     <li>"Y'all know how I feel about Al Gore--he's as dull as sober
2031     missionary sex with someone you know.&quot;--<i>Saturday Night Live</i> comedian
2032     impersonating President Bill Clinton, broadcast date 04/01/00.</li>
2033     <li>"A zebra
2034     does not change its spots."--Al Gore</li>
2035     </ul>
2036     <hr>
2037     <p><b><u><a name="politfig_henry_kissinger"></a>Political Figures, Henry
2038     Kissinger</u></b></p>
2039     <ul>
2040     <li>"There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full."--Henry Kissinger</li>
2041     <li>"Even paranoid people have enemies."--Henry Kissinger</li>
2042     </ul>
2043     <hr>
2044     <p><b><u><a name="politfig_colin_powell"></a>Political Figures, Colin Powell</u></b></p>
2045     <ul>
2046     <li>"Being responsible sometimes means pissing people off."--Colin
2047     Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i>.</li>
2048     <li>"Being responsible sometimes means pissing people off.&nbsp; Good leadership
2049     involves responsibility to the welfare of the group, which means that some
2050     people will get angry at your actions and decisions.&nbsp; It's inevitable, if you're
2051     honorable.&nbsp; Trying to get everyone to like you is a sign of mediocrity: you'll
2052     avoid the tough decisions, you'll avoid confronting the people who need to be
2053     confronted, and you'll avoid offering differential rewards based on differential
2054     performance because some people might get upset.&nbsp; Ironically, by procrastinating
2055     on the difficult choices, by trying not to get anyone mad, and by treating
2056     everyone equally 'nicely' regardless of their contributions, you'll simply
2057     ensure that the only people you'll wind up angering are the most creative and
2058     productive people in the organization."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2059     presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2060     <li>"The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have
2061     stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help them or
2062     concluded that you do not care. Either case is a failure of leadership."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation,
2063     <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2064     <li>"The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have
2065     stopped leading them.&nbsp; They have either lost confidence that you can help them or
2066     concluded that you do not care.&nbsp; Either case is a failure of leadership.&nbsp;
2067     If this
2068     were a litmus test, the majority of CEOs would fail.&nbsp; One, they build so many
2069     barriers to upward communication that the very idea of someone lower in the
2070     hierarchy looking up to the leader for help is ludicrous.&nbsp; Two, the corporate
2071     culture they foster often defines asking for help as weakness or failure, so
2072     people cover up their gaps, and the organization suffers accordingly.&nbsp; Real
2073     leaders make themselves accessible and available.&nbsp; They show concern for the
2074     efforts and challenges faced by underlings, even as they demand high standards.&nbsp;
2075     Accordingly, they are more likely to create an environment where problem
2076     analysis replaces blame."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership
2077     Primer</i></li>
2078     <li>"Don't be buffaloed by experts and elites.&nbsp; Experts often possess more
2079     data than judgment. Elites can become so inbred that they produce hemophiliacs
2080     who bleed to death as soon as they are nicked by the real world."--Colin
2081     Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2082     <li>"Don't be buffaloed by experts and elites.&nbsp; Experts often possess more
2083     data than judgment.&nbsp; Elites can become so inbred that they produce hemophiliacs
2084     who bleed to death as soon as they are nicked by the real world.&nbsp; Small companies
2085     and start-ups don't have the time for analytically detached experts.&nbsp; They don't
2086     have the money to subsidize lofty elites, either.&nbsp; The president answers the
2087     phone and drives the truck when necessary; everyone on the payroll visibly
2088     produces and contributes to bottom-line results or they're history.&nbsp; But as
2089     companies get bigger, they often forget who 'brought them to the dance':&nbsp; things
2090     like all-hands involvement, egalitarianism, informality, market intimacy,
2091     daring, risk, speed, agility.&nbsp; Policies that emanate from ivory towers often have
2092     an adverse impact on the people out in the field who are fighting the wars or
2093     bringing in the revenues.&nbsp; Real leaders are vigilant, and combative, in the face
2094     of these trends."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership
2095     Primer</i></li>
2096     <li>"Don't be afraid to challenge the pros, even in their own backyard."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation,
2097     <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2098     <li>"Don't be afraid to challenge the pros, even in their own backyard.&nbsp; Learn from the pros, observe them, seek them out as mentors and partners.&nbsp;
2099     But
2100     remember that even the pros may have leveled out in terms of their learning and
2101     skills.&nbsp; Sometimes even the pros can become complacent and lazy.&nbsp; Leadership does
2102     not emerge from blind obedience to anyone.&nbsp; Xerox's Barry Rand was right on
2103     target when he warned his people that if you have a yes-man working for you, one
2104     of you is redundant.&nbsp; Good leadership encourages everyone's evolution."--Colin
2105     Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2106     <li>"Never neglect details.&nbsp; When everyone's mind is dulled or distracted
2107     the leader must be doubly vigilant."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2108     presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2109     <li>"Never neglect details.&nbsp; When everyone's mind is dulled or distracted
2110     the leader must be doubly vigilant."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2111     presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2112     <li>&quot;Strategy equals execution.&nbsp; All the
2113     great ideas and visions in the world are worthless if they can't be implemented
2114     rapidly and efficiently.&nbsp; Good leaders delegate and empower others liberally, but
2115     they pay attention to details, every day.&nbsp; (Think about supreme athletic coaches
2116     like Jimmy Johnson, Pat Riley and Tony La Russa).&nbsp; Bad ones, even those who fancy
2117     themselves as progressive 'visionaries', think they're somehow `above'
2118     operational details.&nbsp; Paradoxically, good leaders understand something else: an
2119     obsessive routine in carrying out the details begets conformity and complacency,
2120     which in turn dulls everyone's mind.&nbsp; That is why even as they pay attention to
2121     details, they continually encourage people to challenge the process.&nbsp; They
2122     implicitly understand the sentiment of CEO leaders like Quad Graphic's Harry
2123     Quadracchi, Oticon's Lars Kolind and the late Bill McGowan of MCI, who all
2124     independently asserted that the job of a leader is not to be the chief
2125     organizer, but the chief dis-organizer.&quot;--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2126     presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2127     <li>"You don't know what you can get away with until you try."--Colin
2128     Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2129     <li>"You don't know what you can get away with until you try.&nbsp; You know the
2130     expression, 'it's easier to get forgiveness than permission'.&nbsp; Well, it's true.
2131     Good leaders don't wait for official blessing to try things out. They're
2132     prudent, not reckless.&nbsp; But they also realize a fact of life in most
2133     organizations: if you ask enough people for permission, you'll inevitably come
2134     up against someone who believes his job is to say 'no'. So the moral is, don't
2135     ask.&nbsp; Less effective middle managers endorsed the sentiment, 'If I haven't
2136     explicitly been told <i>yes</i>, I can't do it', whereas the good ones believed,
2137     `If I haven't explicitly been told <i>no</i>, I can.'&nbsp; There's a world of
2138     difference between these two points of view."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2139     presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2140     <li>"Keep looking below surface appearances.&nbsp; Don't shrink from doing so
2141     (just) because you might not like what you find."--Colin Powell, from a
2142     PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2143     <li>"Keep looking below surface appearances.&nbsp; Don't shrink from doing so
2144     (just) because you might not like what you find. 'If it ain't broke, don't fix
2145     it' is the slogan of the complacent, the arrogant or the scared.&nbsp; It's an excuse
2146     for inaction, a call to non-arms.&nbsp; It's a mind-set that assumes (or hopes) that
2147     today's realities will continue tomorrow in a tidy, linear and predictable
2148     fashion.&nbsp; Pure fantasy.&nbsp; In this sort of culture, you won't find people who
2149     pro-actively take steps to solve problems as they emerge.&nbsp; Here's a little tip:
2150     don't invest in these companies."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2151     presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2152     <li>"Organization doesn't really accomplish anything.&nbsp; Plans don't
2153     accomplish anything, either.&nbsp; Theories of management don't much matter.&nbsp;
2154     Endeavors
2155     succeed or fail because of the people involved.&nbsp; Only by attracting the best
2156     people will you accomplish great deeds."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2157     presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2158     <li>"Organization doesn't really accomplish anything.&nbsp; Plans don't
2159     accomplish anything, either.&nbsp; Theories of management don't much matter.&nbsp;
2160     Endeavors
2161     succeed or fail because of the people involved.&nbsp; Only by attracting the best
2162     people will you accomplish great deeds.&nbsp; In a brain-based economy, your
2163     best assets are people.&nbsp; We've heard this expression so often that it's become
2164     trite.&nbsp; But how many leaders really 'walk the talk' with this stuff?&nbsp; Too often,
2165     people are assumed to be empty chess pieces to be moved around by grand viziers,
2166     which may explain why so many top managers immerse their calendar time in deal
2167     making, restructuring and the latest management fad.&nbsp; How many immerse themselves
2168     in the goal of creating an environment where the best, the brightest, the most
2169     creative are attracted, retained and, most importantly, unleashed?"--Colin
2170     Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2171     <li>"Organization charts and fancy titles count for next to nothing."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation,
2172     <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2173     <li>"Organization charts and fancy titles count for next to nothing.&nbsp; Organization charts are frozen, anachronistic photos in a work place that ought
2174     to be as dynamic as the external environment around you.&nbsp; If people really
2175     followed organization charts, companies would collapse.&nbsp; In well-run
2176     organizations, titles are also pretty meaningless.&nbsp; At best, they advertise some
2177     authority, an official status conferring the ability to give orders and induce
2178     obedience.&nbsp; But titles mean little in terms of real power, which is the capacity
2179     to influence and inspire.&nbsp; Have you ever noticed that people will personally
2180     commit to certain individuals who on paper (or on the organization chart)
2181     possess little authority, but instead possess pizzazz, drive, expertise, and
2182     genuine caring for teammates and products?&nbsp; On the flip side, non-leaders in
2183     management may be formally anointed with all the perks and frills associated
2184     with high positions, but they have little influence on others, apart from their
2185     ability to extract minimal compliance to minimal standards."--Colin Powell,
2186     from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2187     <li>"Never let your ego get so close to your position that when your
2188     position goes, your ego goes with it."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2189     presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2190     <li>"Never let your ego get so close to your position that when your
2191     position goes, your ego goes with it.&nbsp; Too often, change is stifled by people who
2192     cling to familiar turfs and job descriptions.&nbsp; One reason that even large
2193     organizations wither is that managers won't challenge old, comfortable ways of
2194     doing things.&nbsp; But real leaders understand that, nowadays, every one of our jobs
2195     is becoming obsolete.&nbsp; The proper response is to obsolete our activities before
2196     someone else does.&nbsp; Effective leaders create a climate where people's worth is
2197     determined by their willingness to learn new skills and grab new
2198     responsibilities, thus perpetually reinventing their jobs.&nbsp; The most important
2199     question in performance evaluation becomes not, 'How well did you perform your
2200     job since the last time we met?' but, 'How much did you change it?'--Colin
2201     Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2202     <li>"Fit no stereotypes.&nbsp; Don't chase the latest management fads.&nbsp; The
2203     situation dictates which approach best accomplishes the team's mission."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation,
2204     <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2205     <li>"Fit no stereotypes.&nbsp; Don't chase the latest management fads.&nbsp; The
2206     situation dictates which approach best accomplishes the team's mission.&nbsp; Flitting
2207     from fad to fad creates team confusion, reduces the leader's credibility, and
2208     drains organizational coffers.&nbsp; Blindly following a particular fad generates
2209     rigidity in thought and action.&nbsp; Sometimes speed to market is more important than
2210     total quality.&nbsp; Sometimes an unapologetic directive is more appropriate than
2211     participatory discussion.&nbsp; Some situations require the leader to hover closely;
2212     others require long, loose leashes.&nbsp; Leaders honor their core values, but they
2213     are flexible in how they execute them.&nbsp; They understand that management
2214     techniques are not magic mantras but simply tools to be reached for at the right
2215     times."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2216     <li>"Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier."--Colin Powell, from a
2217     PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2218     <li>"Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.&nbsp; The ripple effect of a
2219     leader's enthusiasm and optimism is awesome.&nbsp; So is the impact of cynicism and
2220     pessimism.&nbsp; Leaders who whine and blame engender those same behaviors among their
2221     colleagues.&nbsp; I am not talking about stoically accepting organizational stupidity
2222     and performance incompetence with a 'what, me worry?' smile.&nbsp; I am talking about
2223     a gung-ho attitude that says 'we can change things here, we can achieve awesome
2224     goals, we can be the best.'&nbsp; Spare me the grim litany of the 'realist', give me
2225     the unrealistic aspirations of the optimist any day."--Colin Powell, from a
2226     PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2227     <li>"Powell's Rules for Picking People:&nbsp; Look for intelligence and
2228     judgment, and most critically, a capacity to anticipate, to see around corners.&nbsp;
2229     Also look for loyalty, integrity, a high energy drive, a balanced ego, and the
2230     drive to get things done."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership
2231     Primer</i></li>
2232     <li>"Powell's Rules for Picking People:&nbsp; Look for intelligence and
2233     judgment, and most critically, a capacity to anticipate, to see around corners.&nbsp;
2234     Also look for loyalty, integrity, a high energy drive, a balanced ego, and the
2235     drive to get things done.&nbsp; How often do our recruitment and hiring processes tap
2236     into these attributes?&nbsp; More often than not, we ignore them in favor of length of
2237     resume, degrees and prior titles.&nbsp; A string of job descriptions a recruit held
2238     yesterday seem to be more important than who one is today, what they can
2239     contribute tomorrow, or how well their values mesh with those of the
2240     organization.&nbsp; You can train a bright, willing novice in the fundamentals of your
2241     business fairly readily, but it's a lot harder to train someone to have
2242     integrity, judgment, energy, balance, and the drive to get things done.&nbsp; Good
2243     leaders stack the deck in their favor right in the recruitment phase."--Colin
2244     Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2245     <li>"Great leaders are almost always great simplifiers, who can cut
2246     through argument, debate and doubt, to offer a solution everybody can
2247     understand."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership
2248     Primer</i></li>
2249     <li>"Great leaders are almost always great simplifiers, who can cut
2250     through argument, debate and doubt, to offer a solution everybody can
2251     understand.&nbsp; Effective leaders understand the KISS principle, Keep It Simple,
2252     Stupid.&nbsp; They articulate vivid, over-arching goals and values, which they use to
2253     drive daily behaviors and choices among competing alternatives.&nbsp; Their visions
2254     and priorities are lean and compelling, not cluttered and buzzword-laden.&nbsp; Their
2255     decisions are crisp and clear, not tentative and ambiguous.&nbsp; They convey an
2256     unwavering firmness and consistency in their actions, aligned with the picture
2257     of the future they paint.&nbsp; The result: clarity of purpose, credibility of
2258     leadership, and integrity in organization."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2259     presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2260     <li>"Part I:&nbsp; 'Use the formula P=40 to 70, in which P stands for the
2261     probability of success and the numbers indicate the percentage of information
2262     acquired.'&nbsp; Part II: 'Once the information is in the 40 to 70 range, go with your
2263     gut'."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2264     <li>"Part I:&nbsp; 'Use the formula P=40 to 70, in which P stands for the
2265     probability of success and the numbers indicate the percentage of information
2266     acquired.'&nbsp; Part II: 'Once the information is in the 40 to 70 range, go with your
2267     gut.'&nbsp; Don't take action if you have only enough information to give you less
2268     than a 40 percent chance of being right, but don't wait until you have enough
2269     facts to be 100 percent sure, because by then it is almost always too late.&nbsp;
2270     Today, excessive delays in the name of information-gathering breeds
2271     'analysis
2272     paralysis.'&nbsp; Procrastination in the name of reducing risk actually increases
2273     risk."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2274     <li>"The commander in the field is always right and the rear echelon is
2275     wrong, unless proved otherwise."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2276     presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2277     <li>"The commander in the field is always right and the rear echelon is
2278     wrong, unless proved otherwise.&nbsp; Too often, the reverse defines corporate
2279     culture.&nbsp; This is one of the main reasons why leaders like Ken Iverson of Nucor
2280     Steel, Percy Barnevik of Asea Brown Boveri, and Richard Branson of Virgin have
2281     kept their corporate staffs to a bare-bones minimum--how about fewer than 100
2282     central corporate staffers for global $30 billion-plus ABB?&nbsp; Or around 25 and
2283     3 for multi-billion Nucor and Virgin, respectively?&nbsp; Shift the power and the
2284     financial accountability to the folks who are bringing in the beans, not the
2285     ones who are counting or analyzing them."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2286     presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2287     <li>"Have fun in your command.&nbsp; Don't always run at a breakneck pace.&nbsp;
2288     Take
2289     leave when you've earned it:&nbsp; Spend time with your families.&nbsp; Corollary: surround
2290     yourself with people who take their work seriously, but not themselves, those
2291     who work hard and play hard."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership
2292     Primer</i></li>
2293     <li>"Have fun in your command.&nbsp; Don't always run at a breakneck pace.&nbsp;
2294     Take
2295     leave when you've earned it:&nbsp; Spend time with your families.&nbsp; Corollary: surround
2296     yourself with people who take their work seriously, but not themselves, those
2297     who work hard and play hard.&nbsp; Herb Kelleher of Southwest Air and Anita Roddick of
2298     The Body Shop would agree: seek people who have some balance in their lives, who
2299     are fun to hang out with, who like to laugh (at themselves, too) and who have
2300     some non-job priorities which they approach with the same passion that they do
2301     their work.&nbsp; Spare me the grim workaholic or the pompous pretentious
2302     'professional'; I'll help them find jobs with my competitor."--Colin Powell,
2303     from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2304     <li>"Command is lonely."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership
2305     Primer</i> (quote probably from Truman)</li>
2306     <li>"Command is lonely.&nbsp; Harry Truman was right.&nbsp; Whether you're a CEO or
2307     the temporary head of a project team, the buck stops here.&nbsp; You can encourage
2308     participative management and bottom-up employee involvement, but ultimately the
2309     essence of leadership is the willingness to make the tough, unambiguous choices
2310     that will have an impact on the fate of the organization.&nbsp; I've seen too many
2311     non-leaders flinch from this responsibility.&nbsp; Even as you create an informal,
2312     open, collaborative corporate culture, prepare to be lonely."--Colin Powell,
2313     from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2314     <li>"Leadership is the art of accomplishing more than the science of
2315     management says is possible."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership
2316     Primer</i></li>
2317     </ul>
2318     <p><b><u>Note:</u></b>&nbsp; Colin Powell's presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i>,
2319     is available as a .ZIP'd PowerPoint presentation <a href="../../authindiv/dtashley/bad_management/powellonleadership.zip">here</a>.</p>
2320     <hr>
2321     <p><b><u><a name="politfig_dan_quayle"></a>Political Figures, Dan Quayle</u></b></p>
2322     <ul>
2323     <li>"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment.&nbsp; It's the
2324     impurities in our air and water that are doing it."--Former U.S.
2325     Vice-president Dan Quayle</li>
2326     <li>"I love California.&nbsp; I practically grew up in Phoenix."--Former U.S.
2327     Vice-president Dan Quayle</li>
2328     <li>"The loss of life will be irreplaceable."--Former U.S.
2329     Vice-president Dan Quayle</li>
2330     <li>"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have
2331     is that I didn't study my Latin harder in school so I could converse with those
2332     people."--Former U.S. Vice-president Dan Quayle</li>
2333     <li>"Hawaii is a unique state.&nbsp; It is a small state.&nbsp; It is a state that is
2334     by itself.&nbsp; It is different from the other 49 states.&nbsp; Well, all states are
2335     different, but it's got a particularly unique situation."--Former U.S.
2336     Vice-president Dan Quayle</li>
2337     </ul>
2338     <hr>
2339     <p><b><u><a name="politfig_ronald_reagan"></a>Political Figures, Ronald Reagan</u></b></p>
2340     <ul>
2341     <li>"I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked
2342     like if Moses had run them through the U.S. Congress."--Former U.S. President
2343     Ronald Reagan</li>
2344     </ul>
2345     <hr>
2346     <p><b><u><a name="polit_polit_doubletalk"></a>Politics, Political Doubletalk,
2347     Doubletalk</u></b></p>
2348     <ul>
2349     <li>"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of
2350     people."--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor</li>
2351     <li>"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."--Keppel
2352     Enderbery</li>
2353     <li>"If you let that sort of thing go on, your bread and butter will be
2354     cut right out from under your feet."--Former British foreign minister, Ernest
2355     Bevin</li>
2356     <li>"I have opinions of my own ... strong opinions ... but I don't always
2357     agree with them."--George Bush, former U.S President</li>
2358     <li>"We have to pause and ask ourselves how much clean air do we need?"--Lee
2359     Iacocca, former CEO, Chrysler Corp</li>
2360     <li>"I was provided with additional input that was radically different
2361     from the truth.&nbsp; I assisted in furthering that version."--Colonel Oliver North,
2362     from his Iran-Contra testimony</li>
2363     <li>"I haven't committed a crime.&nbsp; What I did was fail to comply with the
2364     law."--David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, (answering accusations that he
2365     failed to pay his taxes)</li>
2366     <li>"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates
2367     in the country."--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC</li>
2368     <li>"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."--Former French
2369     President Charles De Gaulle</li>
2370     <li>"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass,
2371     and I'm just the one to do it."--A congressional candidate in Texas</li>
2372     </ul>
2373     <hr>
2374     <p><b><u><a name="religion"></a>Religion</u></b></p>
2375     <ul>
2376     <li>"Absolute faith corrupts as absolutely as absolute power."--Eric Hoffer (1902 - 1983)
2377     </li>
2378     <li>"I contend we are both atheists, I just believe in one fewer god than you do.&nbsp;
2379     When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss
2380     yours."-- Stephen F. Roberts
2381     </li>
2382     <li>"It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save
2383     us."--Peter De Vries, novelist (1910-1993)
2384     </li>
2385     <li>"There are only two kinds of men: the righteous who believe themselves sinners;
2386     and the sinners who believe themselves righteous.--Blaise Pascal, philosopher and mathematician (1623-1662)
2387     </li>
2388     <li>"Moral certainty is always a sign of cultural inferiority.&nbsp; The more uncivilized the man,
2389     the surer he is that he knows precisely what is right and what is wrong.&nbsp;
2390     All human progress, even in morals, has been the work of men who have doubted the current moral values,
2391     not of men who have whooped them up and tried to enforce them.&nbsp; The truly civilized man is
2392     always skeptical and tolerant, in this field as in all others.&nbsp; His culture is based on
2393     'I am not too sure.'"-- H.L.Mencken, author (1880 - 1956)
2394     </li>
2395     <li>"Conceit is God's gift to little men."--Bruce Barton
2396     </li>
2397     <li>"To surrender to ignorance and call it God has always been premature, and it
2398     remains premature today."-- Isaac Asimov, author (1920 - 1992)
2399     </li>
2400     <li>"With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil
2401     things.&nbsp; But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion."-- Steven Weinberg (1933 - ),
2402     quoted in The New York Times, April 20, 1999
2403     </li>
2404     <li>"A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes."--James Feibleman
2405     </li>
2406     <li>"A superstition is a premature explanation that overstays its time."--George Iles
2407     </li>
2408     <li>"The divinity of Jesus is made a convenient cover for absurdity.&nbsp; Nowhere in the Gospels do we
2409     find a precept for Creeds, Confessions, Oaths, Doctrines, and whole carloads of other
2410     foolish trumpery that we find in Christianity."--John Adams (1735 -1826)
2411     </li>
2412     <li>"I do not find in orthodox Christianity one redeeming feature."--Thomas Jefferson (1743 -1826)
2413     </li>
2414     <li>"I have recently been examining all the known superstitions of the world, and do not find in
2415     our particular superstition (Christianity) one redeeming feature.&nbsp; They are all alike
2416     founded on fables and mythology."--Thomas Jefferson (1743 -1826)
2417     </li>
2418     <li>"The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being as his Father,
2419     in the womb of a virgin will be classified with the fable of the generation
2420     of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter.&nbsp; But we may hope that the dawn of reason
2421     and freedom of thought in these United States will do away with this
2422     artificial scaffolding and restore to us the primitive and genuine doctrines
2423     of this most venerated Reformer of human errors."--Thomas Jefferson (1743 -1826)
2424     </li>
2425     <li>"The Bible is not my book, and Christianity is not my religion.&nbsp; I could never give
2426     assent to the long, complicated statements of Christian
2427     dogma."--Abraham Lincoln (1809 -1865)
2428     </li>
2429     <li>"As to Jesus of Nazareth ... I think the system of Morals and his Religion,
2430     as he left them to us, the best the World ever saw or is likely to see; but I apprehend it
2431     has received various corrupting Changes, and I have, with most of the present
2432     Dissenters in England, some doubts as to his divinity."--Benjamin Franklin (1706 -1790)
2433     </li>
2434     <li>"The study of theology, as it stands in the Christian churches, is the study of nothing;
2435     it is founded on nothing; it rests on no principles; it proceeds by no authority; it has no data;
2436     it can demonstrate nothing; and it admits of no conclusion."--Thomas Paine (1737 -1809)
2437     </li>
2438     <li>"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason,
2439     and intellect has intended us to forgo their use."--Galileo Galilei, physicist and astronomer (1564-1642)
2440     </li>
2441     <li>"There was a time when religion ruled the world.&nbsp; It is known as the Dark
2442     Ages."--Ruth Hermence Green
2443     </li>
2444     <li>"We are taught to believe that there's an invisible man who lives in the sky,
2445     who has a list of 10 things he doesn't want you to do,
2446     who watches you every minute of every day, and if you do something he doesn't like,
2447     he's going to send you to a burning lake of fire ... forever.&nbsp; But He loves you.--George Carlin
2448     </li>
2449     <li>"To teach superstitions as truth is a most terrible thing."--Hypatia
2450     </li>
2451     <li>"If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it
2452     to."--Dorothy Parker - poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
2453     </li>
2454     <li>"I read the whole of the Bible, and apply common sense to it.&nbsp; Sorry to be so boring.&nbsp;
2455     Something which is said several thousand times (e.g. God is worried about the poor)
2456     I regard as more important than something which is said once (e.g. God thinks being gay
2457     incurs ritual pollution) or never (e.g. God doesn't approve of abortion).&nbsp; If
2458     I understand them correctly, the fundamentalists take the opposite approach:
2459     abortion is the most important issue, homosexuality the second most important,
2460     and feeding the poor doesn't matter at all."--Andrew Rilstone (Andrew@aslan.demon.co.uk)
2461     </li>
2462     <li>"Had I been present at the creation, I would have given some useful hints for the better
2463     ordering of the universe."--Alphonso the Wise (1221-1284)
2464     </li>
2465     <li>"What religion are you afflicted with?"--Unknown
2466     </li>
2467     <li>"Morality is the best of all devices for leading mankind by the nose."--Frederick Nietzsche, philosopher (1844-1900)
2468     </li>
2469     <li>"Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious
2470     conviction."--Blaise Pascal, philosopher, mathematician (1623-1662)
2471     </li>
2472     <li>"I do not pretend to be able to prove that there is no God.&nbsp; I equally cannot
2473     prove that Satan is a fiction.&nbsp; The Christian God may exist; so
2474     may the Gods of Olympus, or of ancient Egypt, or of Babylon.&nbsp; But no one of these
2475     hypotheses is more probable than any other: they lie outside the
2476     region of probable knowledge, and therefore there is no reason to consider any of
2477     them."--Lord Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)
2478     </li>
2479     <li>"The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose."--William Shakespeare, poet and dramatist (1564-1616)
2480     </li>
2481     <li>"Religion is an insult to human dignity.&nbsp; With or without it, you'd have good people doing
2482     good things and evil people doing bad things, but for good people to do bad things, it takes
2483     religion."--Steven Weinberg, physicist, Nobel Laureate (1933-)
2484     </li>
2485     <li>"Man is a marvelous curiosity ... he thinks he is the Creator's pet; he even believes the Creator loves him;
2486     has a passion for him; sits up nights to admire him; yes and watch over him and keep him out of
2487     trouble.&nbsp; He prays to him and thinks He listens.&nbsp; Isn't it a quaint idea."--Mark Twain,
2488     author and humorist (1835-1910)
2489     </li>
2490     <li>"One of the proofs of the immortality of the soul is that myriads have believed in
2491     it.&nbsp; They have also believed the world was flat."--Mark Twain, author and humorist (1835-1910)
2492     </li>
2493     <li>"I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious - unless
2494     he purposely shut the eyes of his mind and keep them shut by
2495     force."--Mark Twain, author and humorist (1835-1910)
2496     </li>
2497     <li>"Irreverence is another person's disrespect to your god; there isn't any word that tells what your
2498     disrespect to his god is."--Mark Twain, author and humorist (1835-1910)
2499     </li>
2500     <li>"I believe in God, only I spell it Nature."--Frank Lloyd Wright, architect (1867-1959)
2501     </li>
2502     <li>"We are all atheists about most of the gods that humanity has ever believed in.&nbsp; Some
2503     of us just go one god further."--Richard Dawkins, biologist, author, philosopher (1941-)
2504     </li>
2505     <li>"My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed."-Christopher Morley, writer (1890-1957)
2506     </li>
2507     <li>"So many gods, so many creeds, So many paths that wind and wind, While just the art of being kind is
2508     all the sad world needs."--Ella Wheeler Wilcox, poet (1850-1919)
2509     </li>
2510     <li>"No sooner had Jesus knocked over the dragon of superstition that Paul boldly set it on it's legs
2511     again in the name of Jesus."--George Bernard Shaw, writer, Nobel laureate (1856-1950)
2512     </li>
2513     <li>"If God created us in his own image, we have more than reciprocated."--Voltaire, philosopher (1694-1778)
2514     </li>
2515     <li>"If the gods listened to the prayers of men, all humankind would quickly perish since they constantly
2516     pray for many evils to befall one another."--Epicurus, philosopher (c. 341-270 BCE)
2517     </li>
2518     <li>"Nothing is more dreaded than the national government meddling with religion."--John Adams (1797-1801)
2519     </li>
2520     <li>"Faith is the great cop-out, the great excuse to evade the need to think and evaluate evidence.&nbsp; Faith
2521     is belief in spite of, even perhaps because of, the lack of evidence."--Richard Dawkins, biologist, author, philosopher (1941-)
2522     </li>
2523     <li>"Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy."--H. L. Mencken, author (1880 - 1956)
2524     </li>
2525     <li>"Faith is a cop-out.&nbsp; If the only way you can accept an assertion is by faith,
2526     then you are conceding that it can't be taken on its own merits."--Dan Barker, "Losing Faith in Faith", 1992
2527     </li>
2528     <li>"If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?"--Unattributed
2529     </li>
2530     </ul>
2531     <hr>
2532     <p><b><u><a name="sci_mat_marie_curie"></a>Scientists And Mathematicians, Marie
2533     Curie</u></b></p>
2534     <ul>
2535     <li>&quot;Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be
2536     understood.&quot;--Marie Curie</li>
2537     </ul>
2538     <hr>
2539     <p><b><u><a name="sci_mat_edsger_dijkstra"></a>Scientists And Mathematicians, Edsger
2540     Dijkstra</u></b></p>
2541     <ul>
2542     <li>&quot;The question of whether computers can think is just
2543     like the question of whether submarines can swim.&quot;--Edsger W. Dijkstra</li>
2544     </ul>
2545     <hr>
2546     <p><b><u><a name="sci_mat_albert_einstein"></a>Scientists And Mathematicians, Albert
2547     Einstein</u></b></p>
2548     <ul>
2549     <li>&quot;We are all very ignorant, but not all ignorant of the same
2550     things.&quot;--Albert Einstein</li>
2551     <li>"Thus I came -- despite the fact that I was the son of entirely irreligious (Jewish) parents --
2552     to a deep religiosity, which, however, found an abrupt ending at the age of 12.&nbsp; Through the
2553     reading of popular scientific books I soon reached the conviction that much in the stories
2554     of the bible could not be true.&nbsp; The consequence was a positively fanatic
2555     [orgy of] freethinking coupled with the impression that youth is intentionally
2556     being deceived by the state through lies; it was a crushing impression.&nbsp; Suspicion against every
2557     kind of authority grew out of this experience, a skeptical attitude towards the
2558     convictions which were alive in any specific social environment .... I cannot conceive
2559     of a personal God who would directly influence the actions of individuals ..."-- Albert Einstein,
2560     physicist (1879-1955) - August, 1927 -- Einstein Archive 48-380
2561     </li>
2562     <li>"Science without religion is lame.&nbsp; Religion without science is blind."-Albert Einstein, physicist (1879-1955)
2563     at Science, Philosophy and Religion: a Symposium, 1941
2564     </li>
2565    
2566     <li>
2567    
2568     &quot;
2569    
2570     Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.&quot;-- Albert Einstein, physicist (1879 - 1955)
2571     </li>
2572    
2573     <li>
2574    
2575     &quot;There are only two truly infinite things, the universe and stupidity.&nbsp;
2576     And I am unsure about the universe.&quot;--Albert Einstein, physicist (1879-1955)
2577     </li>
2578    
2579     <li>
2580    
2581     &quot;What terrifies us is not the explosive force of the atomic bomb, but the power of the wickedness of the human heart.&quot;--Albert Einstein, physicist (1879-1955)
2582     </li>
2583    
2584     <li>
2585    
2586     &quot;It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.&quot;--Albert Einstein, physicist (1879-1955)
2587     </li>
2588    
2589     <li>
2590    
2591     &quot;The more I study physics, the more I am drawn to metaphysics.&quot;--Albert Einstein,
2592     physicist (1879-1955)
2593     </li>
2594    
2595     <li>
2596    
2597     &quot;Definition of Insanity:&nbsp; Endlessly repeating the same process, hoping for a different result."--Albert Einstein
2598     </li>
2599    
2600     <li>
2601    
2602     &quot;Make things as simple as possible, but not simpler.&quot;--Albert Einstein, physicist (1879-1955)
2603     </li>
2604    
2605     <li>
2606    
2607     &quot;Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.&quot;--Albert Einstein, physicist (1879-1955)
2608     </li>
2609    
2610     </ul>
2611     <hr>
2612     <p><b><u><a name="sci_mat_gh_hardy"></a>Scientists And Mathematicians, G.H.
2613     Hardy</u></b></p>
2614     <ul>
2615     <li>&quot;It is never worth a first class man's time to express a majority
2616     opinion.&nbsp; By definition, there are plenty of others to do that.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2617     <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2618     <li>&quot;For any serious purpose, intelligence is a very minor gift.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2619     <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2620     <li>&quot;Young men ought to be conceited:&nbsp; but they oughtn't to be
2621     imbecile."--G.H. Hardy (according to C.P. Snow in the foreword of <i>A
2622     Mathematician's Apology</i>, said after someone had tried to
2623     convince Hardy that <i>Finnegans Wake</i> was the final literary masterpiece.)</li>
2624     <li>&quot;Sometimes one has to say difficult things, but one ought to say them
2625     as simply as one knows how.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2626     <li>&quot;Statesmen despise publicists, painters despise art-critics, and
2627     physiologists, physicists, or mathematicians have usually similar feelings;
2628     there is no scorn more profound, or on the whole more justifiable, than that of
2629     the men who make for the men who explain.&nbsp; Exposition, criticism, appreciation,
2630     is work for second-rate minds.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2631     <li>&quot;... There is no one so stupid as to use this sort of language
2632     about mathematics.&nbsp; The mass of mathematical truth is obvious and imposing; its
2633     practical applications, the bridges and the steam engines and dynamos, obtrude
2634     themselves on the dullest imagination.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's
2635     Apology</i></li>
2636     <li>&quot;... Some egotism of this sort is inevitable, and I do not feel
2637     that it really needs justification.&nbsp; Good work is not done by 'humble' men.&nbsp;
2638     It is
2639     one of the first duties of a professor, for example, in any subject, to
2640     exaggerate a little both the importance of his subject and his own importance in
2641     it.&nbsp; A man who is always asking 'Is what I do worth while?' and 'Am I the right
2642     person to do it?' will always be ineffective himself and a discouragement to
2643     others.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2644     <li>&quot;... I am not suggesting that this is a defence which can be made
2645     by most people, since most people can do nothing at all well.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2646     <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2647     <li>&quot;... If a man has any genuine talent, he should be ready to make
2648     almost any sacrifice in order to cultivate it to the full.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A
2649     Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2650     <li>&quot;No mathematician should ever allow himself to forget that
2651     mathematics, more than any other art or science, is a young man's game.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2652     <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2653     <li>&quot;I do not know an instance of a major mathematical advance initiated
2654     by a man past fifty.&nbsp; If a man of mature age loses interest in and abandons
2655     mathematics, the loss is not likely to be very serious either for mathematics or
2656     for himself.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2657     <li>&quot;It is quite true that most people can do nothing well.&nbsp; If so, it
2658     matters very little what career they choose, and there is really nothing more to
2659     say about it.&nbsp; It is a conclusive reply, but hardly one likely to be made by a
2660     man with any pride; and I may assume that none of us would be content with
2661     it.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2662     <li>&quot;(Speaking with respect to mathematical achievement) ... What we
2663     do may be small, but it has a certain character of permanence; and to have
2664     produced anything of the slightest permanent interest, whether it be a copy of
2665     verses or a geometrical theorem, is to have done something utterly beyond the
2666     powers of the vast majority of men.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's
2667     Apology</i></li>
2668     <li>&quot;(Speaking with respect to mathematical achievement) ... In these
2669     days of conflict between ancient and modern studies, there must surely be
2670     something to be said for a study which did not begin with Pythagoras, and
2671     will not end with Einstein, but is the oldest and the youngest of
2672     all.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2673     <li>&quot;A man's first duty, a young man's at any rate, is to be
2674     ambitious.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2675     <li>&quot;... We must guard against a fallacy common apologists of
2676     science, the fallacy of supposing that the men whose work benefits humanity are
2677     thinking much of that while they do it ... There are many highly
2678     respectable motives that may lead men to prosecute research, but there are three
2679     which are much more important than the rest.&nbsp; The first (without which the rest
2680     must come to nothing) is intellectual curiosity, desire to know the truth.&nbsp;
2681     Then,
2682     professional pride, anxiety to be satisfied with one's performance, the shame
2683     that overcomes any self-respecting craftsman when his work is unworthy of his
2684     talent.&nbsp; Finally, ambition, desire for reputation, and the position, even the
2685     power or the money, which it brings.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's
2686     Apology</i></li>
2687     <li>&quot;If intellectual curiosity, professional pride, and ambition are the
2688     dominant incentives to research, then assuredly no one has a fairer chance of
2689     gratifying them then a mathematician.&nbsp; His subject is the most curious of
2690     all--there is none in which truth plays such odd pranks.&nbsp; It has the most
2691     elaborate and the most fascinating technique, and gives unrivalled openings for
2692     the display of sheer professional skill.&nbsp; Finally, as history proves abundantly,
2693     mathematical achievement, whatever its intrinsic worth, is the most enduring of
2694     all.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2695     <li>&quot;<i>Immortality</i> may be a silly word, but probably a mathematician
2696     has the best chance of whatever it may mean.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A
2697     Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2698     <li>&quot;... Farey is immortal because he failed to understand a theorem
2699     which Haros had proved perfectly fourteen years before ... But on the whole
2700     the history of science is fair, and this is particularly true in mathematics ...
2701     and the men who are remembered are almost always the men who merit
2702     it.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, pp. 81-82, citing instances
2703     where mathematical history was inaccurate</li>
2704     <li>&quot;It is sometimes suggested, by lawyers or politicians or business
2705     men, that an academic career is one sought mainly by cautious and
2706     unambitious persons who care primarily for comfort and security.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2707     <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p.82</li>
2708     <li>&quot;A mathematician, like a painter or a poet, is a maker of patterns.&nbsp;
2709     If
2710     his patterns are more permanent than theirs, it is because they are made with <i>ideas</i>.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2711     <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p.84</li>
2712     <li>&quot;... Beauty is the first test: there is no permanent place in the
2713     world for ugly mathematics.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p.85</li>
2714     <li>&quot;It may be very hard to <i>define</i> mathematical beauty, but that is
2715     just as true of beauty of any kind--we may not know quite what we mean by a
2716     beautiful poem, but that does not prevent us from recognizing one when we read
2717     it.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2718     <li>&quot;There are, to be sure, individuals for whom mathematics exercises a
2719     coldly impersonal attraction ...&nbsp; The aesthetic appeal of mathematics may be
2720     very real for a chosen few.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, quoting
2721     Hogben, p. 86</li>
2722     <li>&quot;The seriousness of a theorem, of course, does not <i>lie in</i> its
2723     consequences, which are merely the <i>evidence</i> for its seriousness.&nbsp; Shakespeare had an enormous influence on the development of the English
2724     language, Otway next to none, but that is not why Shakespeare was the better
2725     poet.&nbsp; He was the better poet because he wrote much better poetry.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2726     <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p.90</li>
2727     <li>&quot;The number of primes less than 1,000,000,000 is 50,847,478:&nbsp; that is
2728     enough for an engineer, and he can be perfectly happy without the rest.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2729     <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p.102</li>
2730     <li>&quot;Some measure of generality must be present in any high-class theorem,
2731     but <i>too much</i> tends inevitably towards insipidity.&nbsp; 'Everything is what it
2732     is, and not another thing', and the differences between things are quite as
2733     interesting as their resemblances.&nbsp; We do not choose our friends because they
2734     embody all the pleasant qualities of humanity, but because they are the people
2735     that they are.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p. 109</li>
2736     <li>&quot;It seems that mathematical ideas are arranged somehow in strata, the
2737     ideas in each stratum being linked by a complex of relations both among
2738     themselves and with those above and below.&nbsp; The lower the stratum, the deeper
2739     (and in general the more difficult) the idea.&nbsp; Thus the idea of an
2740     'irrational'
2741     is deeper than that of an integer ...&nbsp; Let us concentrate our attention on
2742     the relations between the integers, or some other group of objects lying in some
2743     particular stratum.&nbsp; Then it may happen that one of these relations can be
2744     comprehended completely, that we can recognize and prove, for example, some
2745     property of the integers, without any knowledge of the contents of lower strata
2746     ...&nbsp; But there are also many theorems about integers which we cannot
2747     appreciate properly, and still less prove, without digging deeper and
2748     considering what happens below.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, pp. 110-111</li>
2749     <li>&quot;We do not want many 'variations' in the proof of a mathematical
2750     theorem:&nbsp; 'enumeration of cases', indeed, is one of the duller forms of
2751     mathematical argument.&nbsp; A mathematical proof should resemble a simple and
2752     clear-cut constellation, not a scattered cluster in the Milky Way.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2753     <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p. 113</li>
2754     <li>&quot;It is sometimes suggested that pure mathematicians glory in the
2755     uselessness of their work, and make it a boast that it has no practical
2756     applications.&nbsp; The imputation is usually based on an incautious saying attributed
2757     to Gauss, to the effect that, if mathematics is the queen of the sciences, the
2758     the theory of numbers is, because of its supreme uselessness, the queen of
2759     mathematics--I have never been able to find an exact quotation.&nbsp; I am sure that
2760     Gauss's saying (if indeed it be his) has been rather crudely misinterpreted.&nbsp;
2761     If
2762     the theory of numbers could be employed for any practical and obviously
2763     honourable purpose, if it could be turned directly to the furtherance of human
2764     happiness of the relief of human suffering, as physiology and even chemistry
2765     can, the surely neither Gauss nor any other mathematician would have been so
2766     foolish as to decry or regret such applications.&nbsp; But science works for evil as
2767     well as for good (and particularly, of course in time of war); and both Gauss
2768     and lesser mathematicians may be justified in rejoicing that there is one
2769     science at any rate, and that their own, whose very remoteness from ordinary
2770     human activities should keep it gentle and clean.&quot;G.H. Hardy, <i>A
2771     Mathematician's Apology</i>, pp. 120-121</li>
2772     <li>&quot;I began by saying that there is probably less difference between the
2773     positions of a mathematician and of a physicist than is generally supposed, and
2774     that the most important seems to me to be this, that the mathematician is in
2775     much more direct contact with reality ... mathematical objects are so much
2776     more what they seem.&nbsp; A chair or a star is not in the least like what it seems to
2777     be; the more we think of it, the fuzzier its outlines become in the haze of
2778     sensation which surround it; but '2' or '317' has nothing to do with sensation,
2779     and its properties stand out the more clearly the more closely we scrutinize
2780     it.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, pp. 128-130</li>
2781     <li>&quot;It is the dull and elementary parts of applied mathematics, as it is
2782     the dull and elementary parts of pure mathematics, that work for good or ill.&nbsp;
2783     Time may change all this.&nbsp; No one foresaw the applications of matrices and groups
2784     and other purely mathematical theories to modern physics, and it may be that
2785     some of the 'highbrow' applied mathematics will become 'useful' in as unexpected
2786     a way;&nbsp; but the evidence so far points to the conclusion that, in one subject as
2787     in the other, it is what is commonplace and dull that counts for practical
2788     life.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p.132. (Written
2789     around 1940, this was an uncanny precursor to nuclear weaponry.)</li>
2790     <li>&quot;There is one comforting conclusion which is easy for a real
2791     mathematician.&nbsp; Real mathematics has no effects on war.&nbsp; No one has yet discovered
2792     any warlike purpose to be served by the theory of numbers or relativity, and it
2793     seems unlikely that anyone will do so for many years.&nbsp; It is true that there are
2794     branches of applied mathematics, such as ballistics and aerodynamics, which have
2795     been developed deliberately for war and demand a quite elaborate technique: it
2796     is perhaps hard to call them 'trivial', but none of them has any claim to rank
2797     as 'real'.&nbsp; They are indeed repulsively ugly and intolerably dull; even
2798     Littlewood could not make ballistics respectable, and if he could not who
2799     can?&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p. 140. (Written
2800     around 1940, this was an uncanny precursor to nuclear weaponry.&nbsp; Also, Snow
2801     writes in the foreword, pp. 39-40, &quot;Hardy's close friends were away at the
2802     war.&nbsp; Littlewood was doing ballistics as a Second Lieutenant in the Royal
2803     Artillery.&nbsp; Owing to his cheerful indifference he had the distinction of
2804     remaining a Second Lieutenant through the four years of the war.&quot;)</li>
2805     <li>&quot;... there are two sharply contrasted views about modern
2806     scientific war.&nbsp; The first and the most obvious is that the effect of science on
2807     war is merely to magnify its horror, both by increasing the sufferings of the
2808     minority who have to fight and by extending them to other classes.&nbsp; This is the
2809     most natural and the orthodox view.&nbsp; But there is a very different view which
2810     seems also quite tenable, and which has been stated with great force by Haldane
2811     in <i>Callinicus</i>.&nbsp; It can be maintained that modern warfare is <i>less</i>
2812     horrible than the warfare of pre-scientific times;&nbsp; the bombs are probably more
2813     merciful than bayonets;&nbsp; that lachrymatory gas and mustard gas are perhaps the
2814     most humane weapons yet devised by military science;&nbsp; and that the orthodox view
2815     rests solely on loose-thinking sentimentalism.&nbsp; It may also be urged (although
2816     this was not one of Haldane's theses) that the equalization of risks which
2817     science was expected to bring would be in the long run salutary;&nbsp; that a
2818     civilian's wife is not worth more than a soldier's, nor a woman's more than a
2819     man's;&nbsp; that anything is better than the concentration of savagery on one
2820     particular class;&nbsp; and that, in short, the sooner the war comes 'all out' the
2821     better.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p. 142</li>
2822     <li>&quot;When the world is mad, a mathematician may find in mathematics an
2823     incomparable anodyne.&nbsp; For mathematics is, of all the arts and sciences, the most
2824     austere and the most remote, and a mathematician should be for all men the one
2825     who can most easily take refuge where, as Bertrand Russell says, 'one at least
2826     of our nobler impulese can best escape from the dreary exile of the actual
2827     world'.&nbsp; It is a pity that is should be necessary to make one very serious
2828     reservation--he must not be too old.&nbsp; Mathematics is not a contemplative but a
2829     creative subject; no one can draw much consolation from it when he has lost the
2830     power or the desire to create; and that is apt to happen to a mathematician
2831     rather soon.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p. 143</li>
2832     <li>&quot;I cannot remember ever having wanted to be anything but a
2833     mathematician.&nbsp; I suppose that it was always clear that my specific abilities lay
2834     that way, and it never occurred to me to question the verdict of my elders.&nbsp;
2835     I do
2836     not remember having felt, as a boy, any <i>passion</i> for mathematics, and such
2837     notions as I may have had of the career of a mathematician were far from noble.&nbsp;
2838     I thought of mathematics in terms of examinations and scholarships:&nbsp; I wanted to
2839     beat other boys, and this seemed to be the way in which I could do so most
2840     decisively.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p. 144</li>
2841     <li>&quot;I had of course found at school, as every future mathematician does,
2842     that I could often do things much better than my teachers; and even at Cambridge
2843     I found, though naturally much less frequently, that I could sometimes do things
2844     better than the College lecturers.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's
2845     Apology</i>, p. 146-147</li>
2846     <li>&quot;It is plain now that my life, for what it is worth, is finished, and
2847     that nothing I can do can perceptibly increase or diminish its value.&nbsp; It is very
2848     difficult to be dispassionate, but I count it as a 'success';&nbsp; I have had more
2849     reward and not less than was due to a man of my particular grade of ability.&nbsp;
2850     I have held a series of comfortable and 'dignified' positions.&nbsp; I have had very
2851     little trouble with the duller routine of universities.&nbsp; I hate 'teaching', and
2852     have had to do very little, such teaching as I have done having been almost
2853     entirely supervision of research;&nbsp; I love lecturing, and have lectured a great
2854     deal to extremely able classes;&nbsp; and I have always had plenty of leisure for the
2855     researches which have been the one great permanent happiness of my life.&nbsp; I have
2856     found it easy to work with others, and have collaborated on a large scale with
2857     two exceptional mathematicians; and this has enabled me to add to mathematics a
2858     good deal more than I could reasonably have expected.&nbsp; I have had my
2859     disappointments, like any other mathematician, but none of them has been too
2860     serious or has made me particularly unhappy.&nbsp; If I had been offered a life
2861     neither better nor worse when I was twenty, I would have accepted without
2862     hesitation.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p. 149</li>
2863     <li>&quot;My choice was right, then, if what I wanted was a reasonably
2864     comfortable and happy life.&nbsp; But solicitors and stockbrokers and bookmakers often
2865     lead comfortable and happy lives, and it is very difficult to see how the world
2866     is richer for their existence.&nbsp; Is there any sense in which I can claim that my
2867     life has been less futile than theirs?&nbsp; It seems to me again that there is only
2868     one possible answer: yes, perhaps, but, if so, for one reason only.&nbsp; I have never
2869     done anything 'useful'.&nbsp; No discovery of mine has made, or is likely to make,
2870     directly or indirectly, for good or ill, the least difference to the amenity of
2871     the world.&nbsp; I have helped to train other mathematicians, but mathematicians of
2872     the same kind as myself, and their work has been, so far at any rate as I have
2873     helped them to it, as useless as my own.&nbsp; Judged by all practical standards, the
2874     value of my mathematical life is nil; and outside mathematics it is trivial
2875     anyhow.&nbsp; I have just one chance of escaping a verdict of complete triviality,
2876     that I may be judged to have created something worth creating.&nbsp; And that I have
2877     created something is undeniable: the question is about its value.&nbsp; The case for
2878     my life, then, or for that of any one else who has been a mathematician in the
2879     same sense in which I have been one, is this: that I have added something to
2880     knowledge, and helped others to add more; and that these somethings have a value
2881     which differs in degree only, and not in kind, from that of the creations of the
2882     great mathematicians, or of any of the other artists, great or small, who have
2883     left some kind of memorial behind them.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's
2884     Apology</i>, pp. 150-151</li>
2885     </ul>
2886     <p><b><u>Note:</u></b>&nbsp; As of May 11, 2003, Hardy's book, <i>A
2887     Mathematician's Apology</i>, is <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0521427061/qid=1052633115/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/102-8561334-0224108?v=glance&amp;s=books">available
2888     new from Amazon</a> for $11.90.&nbsp; Also as of May 11, 2003, there are <a href="http://half.ebay.com/cat/buy/prod.cgi?cpid=2943234&amp;meta_id=1">5
2889     copies available at Half.com</a> for as low as $6.12.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p>
2890     <hr>
2891     <p><b><u><a name="sci_mat_james_s_harris"></a>Scientists And Mathematicians, James S.
2892     Harris</u></b></p>
2893     <ul>
2894     <li>&quot;My peers are Gauss and Euler, not ANY of you.&quot;--James S. Harris, as
2895     the <i> SUBJ</i> field in a <i>sci.math</i> newsgroup post dated July 4, 2002</li>
2896     </ul>
2897     <hr>
2898     <p><b><u><a name="sci_mat_bertrand_russell"></a>Scientists And Mathematicians, Bertrand
2899     Russell</u></b></p>
2900     <ul>
2901     <li>&quot;One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief
2902     that one's work is terribly important.&quot;--Bertrand Russell</li>
2903     </ul>
2904     <hr>
2905     <p><b><u><a name="sci_mat_carl_sagan"></a>Scientists And Mathematicians, Carl
2906     Sagan</u></b></p>
2907     <ul>
2908     <li>&quot;One of the great commandments of science is:&nbsp; 'Mistrust arguments from
2909     authority.'&quot;--Carl Sagan</li>
2910     <li>&quot;Look again at that dot.&nbsp; That's here.&nbsp; That's home.&nbsp; That's us.&nbsp;
2911     On it
2912     everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human
2913     being who ever was, lived out their lives.&nbsp; The aggregate of our joy and
2914     suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines,
2915     every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of
2916     civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother
2917     and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every
2918     corrupt politician, every 'superstar', every 'supreme leader', every saint and
2919     sinner in the history of our species lived here--on a mote of dust suspended in
2920     a sunbeam.&quot;--Carl Sagan, precise source unknown</li>
2921     <li>&quot;The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena.&nbsp; Think of the rivers
2922     of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and
2923     triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot.&nbsp; Think
2924     of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel
2925     on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent
2926     their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent
2927     their hatreds.&quot;--Carl Sagan, precise source unknown</li>
2928     <li>&quot;Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some
2929     privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light.&nbsp;
2930     Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark.&nbsp; In our
2931     obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from
2932     elsewhere to save us from ourselves.&quot;--Carl Sagan, precise source unknown</li>
2933     <li>&quot;The Earth is the only world known so far to harbor life.&nbsp; There is nowhere
2934     else, at least not in the near future, to which our species could migrate.&nbsp;
2935     Visit, yes.&nbsp; Settle, not yet.&nbsp; Like it or not, for the moment the Earth is where we
2936     make our stand.&quot;--Carl Sagan, precise source unknown</li>
2937     <li>&quot;It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building
2938     experience.&nbsp; There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human
2939     conceits than this distant image of our tiny world.&nbsp; To me, it underscores our
2940     responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish
2941     the pale blue dot, the only home we've ever known."--Carl Sagan, <i>Pale
2942     Blue Dot</i>, publication details unknown</li>
2943    
2944     <li>
2945    
2946     &quot;
2947    
2948     If you wish to make an apple pie truly from scratch, you must first invent the universe.&quot;-- Carl
2949     Sagan, astronomer, author (1934-1996)
2950     </li>
2951    
2952     </ul>
2953     <hr>
2954     <p><b><u><a name="software_software_engineering_etc"></a>Software, Software Engineering,
2955     Etc.</u></b></p>
2956     <ul>
2957     <li>&quot;Can
2958     someone give a hint on how many lines of code a programmer can produce a day?&nbsp;
2959     I
2960     know that this depends on the language, etc., but I'm most interested in C/C++.&nbsp;
2961     On my most productive single day, the program I was working on had 3000 fewer
2962     lines than it did when I started.&quot;--quote which Dan Parks got from a newsgroup, source
2963     unknown</li>
2964     <li>&quot;A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved
2965     from a simple system that worked ... A complex system designed from scratch
2966     never works and cannot be patched up to make it work.&nbsp; You have to start over,
2967     beginning with a working simple system.&quot;--Grady Booch</li>
2968     <li>&quot;The trouble with many Software Engineering principles and methodologies
2969     is they don't concentrate on doing the time-consuming, difficult and error-prone
2970     process of getting the system requirements straightened out--instead relying on
2971     'well defined procedures' which are easy to specify, but don't help
2972     much when trying to understand what a system needs to accomplish--or more
2973     importantly, coaxing a non-technical project lead to devote his/her resources to
2974     spending time with the users.&quot;--Unknown</li>
2975     <li>&quot;I've been developing systems of varying complexity since 1990 and have yet to
2976     hear of a software engineering methodology which improves significantly on the
2977     basic principle of studying what the user needs, organizing it, adapting to
2978     change and implementing--usually in combination.&nbsp; UML isn't much more than a
2979     notational change to the entity/relationship/&quot;flowcharting&quot;/whatever we did a decade ago.&nbsp;
2980     The
2981     CASE tools have marginally improved since, but not markedly.&nbsp; But thats only my
2982     take on it ... no doubt I'm part of the problem.--Unknown</li>
2983     <li>&quot;Frankly, I figure the SEI rating stuff has a half-life of about 4 years, its
2984     got 5 or 6 more before it falls into the dustbin of antiquity.&nbsp; But, its in good
2985     company with TQM and all the other philosophies which aren't dealing with the
2986     hard problems.--<i>Possibly</i> from a book by Steve McConnell entitled <i>After
2987     The Gold Rush</i>, but probably from a review of the book.&nbsp; This quote forwarded to
2988     me by Dan Parks in November 2000.</li>
2989     <li>&quot;You can measure a programmer's perspective by noting his attitude on
2990     the continuing viability of FORTRAN.&quot;--Alan Perlis</li>
2991     <li>&quot;The bitterness of poor quality remains long after the sweetness of
2992     meeting the schedule has been forgotten.&quot;--Anonymous</li>
2993     <li>&quot;Requirements are like water. They're easier to build on when they're
2994     frozen.&quot;--Anonymous</li>
2995     <li>&quot;Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for
2996     the rest of your life.&quot;--Michael Sinz</li>
2997     <li>&quot;Bugs lurk in corners and congregate at boundaries.&quot;--Boris
2998     Beizer, <i>Software Testing Techniques</i></li>
2999     <li>&quot;In programming, it's often the 'buts' in the specification that kill
3000     you.&quot;--Boris Beizer, <i>Software Testing Techniques</i></li>
3001     <li>&quot;Poor management can increase software costs more rapidly than any
3002     other factor.&quot;--Barry Boehm</li>
3003     <li>&quot;It should be noted that no ethically-trained software engineer would
3004     ever consent to write a 'DestroyBaghdad' procedure.&nbsp; Basic professional ethics
3005     would instead require him to write a 'DestroyCity' procedure, to which 'Baghdad'
3006     could be given as a parameter.&quot;--Nathaniel S. Borenstein</li>
3007     <li>&quot;The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts
3008     agree, is by accident.&nbsp; That's where we come in; we're computer professionals.&nbsp;
3009     We
3010     cause accidents.&quot;--Nathaniel S. Borenstein</li>
3011     <li>&quot;Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a
3012     feature.&quot;--Bruce Brown</li>
3013     <li>&quot;The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a
3014     programmer is doing until it's too late.&quot;--Seymour Cray</li>
3015     <li>&quot;There are two ways of constructing a software design:&nbsp; One way is to
3016     make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is
3017     to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies.&nbsp; The first
3018     method is far more difficult.&quot;--C. A. R. Hoare</li>
3019     <li>&quot;Premature optimization is the root of all evil in
3020     programming.&quot;--C.
3021     A. R. Hoare</li>
3022     <li>&quot;Programming can be fun, so can cryptography; however they should not
3023     be combined.&quot;--Kreitzberg and Shneiderman</li>
3024     <li>&quot;The only thing more frightening than a programmer with a screwdriver
3025     or a hardware engineer with a program is a user with a pair of wire cutters and
3026     the root password.&quot;--Elizabeth Zwicky</li>
3027     <li>&quot;Programming without an overall architecture or design in mind is like
3028     exploring a cave with only a flashlight:&nbsp; you don't know where you've been, you
3029     don't know where you're going, and you don't know quite where you
3030     are.&quot;--Danny
3031     Thorpe</li>
3032     <li>&quot;Act in haste and repent at leisure; code too soon and debug
3033     forever.&quot;--Raymond Kennington</li>
3034     <li>&quot;At some point you have to decide whether you're going to be a
3035     politician or an engineer.&nbsp; You cannot be both.&nbsp; To be a politician is to champion
3036     perception over reality.&nbsp; To be an engineer is to make perception subservient to
3037     reality.&nbsp; They are opposites.&nbsp; You can't do both
3038     simultaneously.&quot;--H. W. Kenton</li>
3039     <li>&quot;'Don't fix it if it ain't broke' presupposed that you can't improve
3040     something that works reasonably well already.&nbsp; If the world's inventors had
3041     believed this, we'd still be driving Model A Fords and using
3042     outhouses.&quot;--H.
3043     W. Kenton</li>
3044     <li>&quot;There has never been an unexpectedly short debugging period in the
3045     history of computers.&quot;--Steven Levy</li>
3046     <li>&quot;An interactive debugger is an outstanding example of what is not
3047     needed--it encourages trial-and-error hacking rather than systematic design,
3048     and also hides marginal people barely qualified for precision
3049     programming.&quot;--Harald
3050     Mills</li>
3051     <li>&quot;We try to solve the problem by rushing through the design process so
3052     that enough time is left at the end of the project to uncover the errors that
3053     were made because we rushed through the design process.&quot;--Glenford J. Myers</li>
3054    
3055     <li>
3056    
3057     &quot;
3058    
3059     Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.&quot;-- Frederick P. Brooks, Jr. [The Mythical Man-Month]
3060     </li>
3061    
3062     <li>
3063    
3064     &quot;
3065    
3066     Hofstadter's Law:&nbsp; The time and effort required to complete a project are always more than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.&quot;
3067     </li>
3068    
3069     </ul>
3070     <hr>
3071     <p><b><u><a name="sports_and_sports_figures"></a>Sports And Sports Figures</u></b></p>
3072     <ul>
3073     <li>&quot;Big names don't make me weak in the knees.&quot;--Taylor Dent</li>
3074     <li>&quot;The word <i>genius</i> isn't applicable in football.&nbsp; A genius is a
3075     guy like Norman Einstein.&quot;--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback and sports
3076     analyst</li>
3077     <li>&quot;I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my
3078     body.&quot;--Winston Bennett, Univ. of Kentucky basketball forward</li>
3079     <li>&quot;We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.&quot;--Jason Kidd,
3080     upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks</li>
3081     <li>&quot;... the genes almost always accurately reproduce.&nbsp; If they don't,
3082     you get one of the following results:&nbsp; One, monsters--that is, grossly malformed
3083     babies resulting from genetic mistakes.&nbsp; Years ago most monsters died, but now
3084     many can be saved.&nbsp; That has made possible the National Football League."--Cecil
3085     Adams</li>
3086     <li>&quot;Half this game is ninety percent mental.&quot;--Philadelphia Phillies
3087     manager Danny Ozark</li>
3088     </ul>
3089     <hr>
3090     <p><b><u><a name="unpl_wk_sit_bad_bosses_etc"></a>Unpleasant Work Situations, Bad Bosses,
3091     Etc.</u></b></p>
3092     <ul>
3093     <li>&quot;If you're unfortunate enough to have co-workers, you must learn how
3094     to manage them.&nbsp; Otherwise, like so many wildebeests on the plains of the
3095     Serengeti, they will be bumping into you, drinking from your water hole, and
3096     generally kicking up a lot of dust.&nbsp; That will cut into your
3097     happiness.&quot;--Scott
3098     Adams, <i>The Joy Of Work</i>.</li>
3099     <li>&quot;If you can decrease the unpleasantness that you experience at work,
3100     it's almost the same as giving yourself a raise.&quot;--Scott Adams, <i>The Joy
3101     Of Work</i>.</li>
3102     <li>&quot;I have yet to find the man, however exalted his station, who did not
3103     do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than
3104     under a spirit of criticism.&quot;--Charles M. Schwab</li>
3105     </ul>
3106     <hr>
3107     <p><b><u><a name="acknowledgements"></a>Acknowledgements</u></b></p>
3108     <p>Special thanks to Pinar Kondu, Lou Miller, Daniel R. Parks, Jim
3109     Weinfurther and Marilyn A. Ashley
3110     for quotes.</p>
3111     <hr>
3112     <p align="center" style="margin-top: -2; margin-bottom: -1"><font size="1">This
3113     web page is maintained by <a href="mailto:dtashley@users.sourceforge.net">David
3114     T. Ashley</a>.&nbsp; (All donations to this page are welcome, just <a href="mailto:dtashley@users.sourceforge.net">e-mail</a>
3115     them to me.)<br>
3116     Sound
3117     credit: <i>As Good As It Gets</i>.<br>$Header: /cvsroot/esrg/sfesrg/esrgweba/htdocs/devels/quote_farm/quote_farm.htm,v 1.16 2004/04/06 22:32:19 dtashley Exp $</font></p>
3118     <hr noshade size="5">
3119     </body>
3120    
3121     </html>

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