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4 <title>The Quote Farm</title>
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11 <p align="center"><b><font size="4">The Quote Farm</font></b></p>
12 <hr>
13 <p>Each chapter of the book (a work in progress) begins with a quote.&nbsp; The
14 web page is a staging area for quotes that might potentially be used.&nbsp; The
15 Quote Farm was previously an appendix in the book, but it was removed and placed
16 here, since it will not appear in final revisions of the book.</p>
17 <hr>
18 <p><b><u>Bookmarks (To This Page)</u></b></p>
19 <ul>
20 <li><a href="#accident_investigation">Accident Investigation</a>
21 <li><a href="#attractiveness_female">Attractiveness, Female</a></li>
22 <li><a href="#aviation_and_space" target="_self">Aviation And Space</a></li>
23 <li><a href="#beer" target="_self">Beer</a></li>
24 <li><a href="#capitalism" target="_self">Capitalism</a></li>
25 <li><a href="#celeb_beaut_pag_cont" target="_self">Celebrities, Beauty Pageant
26 Contestants</a></li>
27 <li><a href="#celebrities_brooke_shields" target="_self">Celebrities, Brooke
28 Shields</a></li>
29 <li><a href="#celebrities_mariah_carey" target="_self">Celebrities, Mariah
30 Carey</a></li>
31 <li><a href="#censorship" target="_self">Censorship</a></li>
32 <li><a href="#computers_and_computing" target="_self">Computers And Computing</a></li>
33 <li><a href="#courage" target="_self">Courage</a></li>
34 <li><a href="#freedom_and_civil_liberties" target="_self">Freedom And Civil
35 Liberties</a></li>
36 <li><a href="#general_humor" target="_self">General Humor</a></li>
37 <li><a href="#hard_work" target="_self">Hard Work</a></li>
38 <li><a href="#hum_nat_soc_int" target="_self">Human Nature And Social
39 Interactions</a></li>
40 <li><a href="#histfig_napoleon" target="_self">Historical Figures, Napoleon</a></li>
41 <li><a href="#marriage_fav_manview" target="_self">Marriage (Favorable, From The Man's Point Of
42 View)</a></li>
43 <li><a href="#marriage_unfav_genderless" target="_self">Marriage (Unfavorable,
44 Genderless)</a></li>
45 <li><a href="#marriage_unfav_manview" target="_self">Marriage (Unfavorable, From The Man's Point Of
46 View)</a></li>
47 <li><a href="#microsoft" target="_self">Microsoft</a></li>
48 <li><a href="#old_age" target="_self">Old Age</a></li>
49 <li><a href="#pets_cats" target="_self">Pets, Cats</a></li>
50 <li><a href="#philo_aristotle" target="_self">Philosophers, Aristotle</a></li>
51 <li><a href="#philo_henry_david_thoreau" target="_self">Philosophers, Henry David
52 Thoreau</a></li>
53 <li><a href="#police_and_law_enforcement" target="_self">Police And Law
54 Enforcement</a></li>
55 <li><a href="#politfig_winston_churchill" target="_self">Political Figures, Winston
56 Churchill</a></li>
57 <li><a href="#polit_fig_bill_hilary_clinton" target="_self">Political Figures, Bill And Hilary
58 Clinton</a></li>
59 <li><a href="#politfig_al_gore" target="_self">Political Figures, Al Gore</a></li>
60 <li><a href="#politfig_henry_kissinger" target="_self">Political Figures, Henry
61 Kissinger</a></li>
62 <li><a href="#politfig_colin_powell" target="_self">Political Figures, Colin
63 Powell</a></li>
64 <li><a href="#politfig_dan_quayle" target="_self">Political Figures, Dan
65 Quayle</a></li>
66 <li><a href="#politfig_ronald_reagan" target="_self">Political Figures, Ronald
67 Reagan</a></li>
68 <li><a href="#polit_polit_doubletalk" target="_self">Politics, Political Doubletalk,
69 Doubletalk</a></li>
70 <li><a href="#religion" target="_self">Religion</a></li>
71 <li><a href="#sci_mat_marie_curie" target="_self">Scientists And Mathematicians, Marie
72 Curie</a></li>
73 <li><a href="#sci_mat_edsger_dijkstra" target="_self">Scientists And Mathematicians, Edsger
74 Dijkstra</a></li>
75 <li><a href="#sci_mat_albert_einstein" target="_self">Scientists And Mathematicians, Albert
76 Einstein</a></li>
77 <li><a href="#sci_mat_gh_hardy" target="_self">Scientists And Mathematicians,
78 G.H. Hardy</a></li>
79 <li><a href="#sci_mat_james_s_harris" target="_self">Scientists And Mathematicians, James S.
80 Harris</a></li>
81 <li><a href="#sci_mat_bertrand_russell" target="_self">Scientists And Mathematicians, Bertrand
82 Russell</a></li>
83 <li><a href="#sci_mat_carl_sagan" target="_self">Scientists And Mathematicians, Carl
84 Sagan</a></li>
85 <li><a href="#software_software_engineering_etc" target="_self">Software, Software Engineering,
86 Etc.</a></li>
87 <li><a href="#sports_and_sports_figures" target="_self">Sports And Sports
88 Figures</a></li>
89 <li><a href="#unpl_wk_sit_bad_bosses_etc" target="_self">Unpleasant Work Situations, Bad Bosses,
90 Etc.</a></li>
91 <li><a href="#acknowledgements" target="_self">Acknowledgements</a></li>
92 </ul>
93 <hr>
94 <p><b><u><a name="accident_investigation"></a>Accident Investigation</u></b></p>
95 <ul>
96 <li>&quot;Many accident investigations make the same mistake in defining causes.&nbsp;
97 They identify the widget that broke or malfunctioned, then locate the person most closely connected with the
98 technical failure: the engineer who miscalculated an analysis, the operator who missed signals or pulled
99 the wrong switches, the supervisor who failed to listen, or the manager who made bad decisions&nbsp;
100 When causal chains are limited to technical flaws and individual failures, the
101 ensuing responses aimed at preventing a similar event in the future are equally limited:
102 they aim to fix the technical problem and replace or retrain the individual responsible.&nbsp;
103 Such corrections lead to a misguided and potentially disastrous belief that the underlying
104 probem has been solved.&quot;--This appeared in a CRM book by Earl L. Wiener, Barbara G. Kanki, Robert L. Helmreich
105 and cites a 2003 NASA item, need to locate the item.
106 </li>
107 <li>&quot;Indeed, it would not be going too far to say that, if a pilot in command were to create an
108 atmosphere whereby one of his crew members would be hesitant to comment on any action then he would be failing
109 in his duty as pilot in command.&quot;--This appeared in a CRM book by Earl L. Wiener, Barbara G. Kanki, Robert L. Helmreich
110 and cites Vette and Macdonald, 1983, need to locate the item.&nbsp; It was in the context of a Royal Commission inquity into
111 the 1979 crash of Air New Zealand 901 into Mtr. Erebus, Antarctica, and the statement was made by a
112 representative of the New Zealand Air Line Pilots Association (NZALPA).
113 </li>
114 </ul>
115 <hr>
116 <p><b><u><a name="attractiveness_female"></a>Attractiveness, Female</u></b></p>
117 <ul>
118 <li>&quot;She's got what I call bobsled looks: going downhill fast.&quot;--Craig Nova</li>
119 </ul>
120 <hr>
121 <p><b><u><a name="aviation_and_space"></a>Aviation And Space</u></b></p>
122 <ul>
123 <li>&quot;A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away.&nbsp; A
124 'great'
125 landing is one after which they can use the plane again."--Rules of the Air,
126 #8&nbsp; (This quote appeared in the signature of an e-mail by <a href="mailto:benny@bennyvision.com"> Chris
127 Bensend</a>. Chris was careful to point
128 out in subsequent correspondence that he was not the originator of the quote,
129 and is not sure where it comes from.)</li>
130 <li>&quot;A complex system has complex failure modes.&quot;--John J. Nance, ABC
131 aviation correspondent, commenting on February 1, 2003 on the loss of the space
132 shuttle <i>Columbia</i>.</li>
133 </ul>
134 <hr>
135 <p><b><u><a name="beer"></a>Beer</u></b></p>
136 <ul>
137 <li>&quot;He was a wise man who invented beer.&quot;--Plato</li>
138 <li>&quot;Work is the curse of the drinking class.&quot;--Oscar Wilde</li>
139 <li>&quot;Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be
140 happy.&quot;--Benjamin Franklin</li>
141 <li>&quot;If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it
142 makes beer shoot out your nose.&quot;--Deep Thought, Jack Handy</li>
143 <li>&quot;Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is
144 beer.&nbsp; Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel
145 does not go nearly as well with pizza.&quot;--Dave Barry</li>
146 <li>&quot;People who drink light 'beer' don't like the taste of beer; they just
147 like to pee a lot.&quot;--Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI</li>
148 <li>&quot;Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the
149 world.&quot;--Kaiser Wilhelm</li>
150 <li>&quot;Not all chemicals are bad.&nbsp; Without chemicals such as hydrogen and
151 oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in
152 beer.&quot;--Dave Barry</li>
153 <li>&quot;I drink to make other people interesting.&quot;--George Jean Nathan</li>
154 <li>&quot;They who drink beer will think beer.&quot;--Washington Irving</li>
155 <li>&quot;All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me so let's
156 just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.&quot;--Homer Simpson</li>
157 <li>&quot;A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank
158 her.&quot;--W.C. Fields</li>
159 </ul>
160 <hr>
161 <p><b><u><a name="capitalism"></a>Capitalism</u></b></p>
162 <ul>
163 <li>&quot;Companies come and go.&nbsp; It's ... part of the genius of
164 capitalism.&quot;--U.S. Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neill, in January of 2002, in
165 response to the bankruptcy filing by Enron</li>
166 <li>&quot;I've watched lots of corporations come and go.&nbsp; ... There are
167 very few companies that have been around for 40 or 50 years.&nbsp; ... Companies
168 come and go.&nbsp; It's part of the genius of capitalism.&nbsp; People get to make good
169 decisions or bad decisions, and they get to pay the consequences or to enjoy the
170 fruits of their decisions.&nbsp; That's the way the system works.&quot;--U.S. Treasury
171 Secretary Paul O'Neill, in January of 2002, in response to the bankruptcy filing
172 by Enron</li>
173 <li>&quot;I didn't think this was worthy of me running across the street and
174 telling the president.&nbsp; I don't go across the street and tell the president every
175 time somebody calls me.&quot;--U.S. Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neill, in January of
176 2002, defending his decision not to advise President Bush of Enron's financial
177 difficulties</li>
178 <li>&quot;... unless there's an issue related to the company that reaches
179 to public responsibility ... in the American capitalist system, companies
180 are responsible for their actions ...&nbsp; The company had a duty to inform its
181 shareholders and its employees about things that were going on inside the
182 company.&nbsp; That's not a federal government responsibility."--U.S. Treasury
183 Secretary Paul O'Neill, in January of 2002, defending his decision not to take
184 any federal action to help Enron as its stock price collapsed and it was forced
185 into bankruptcy</li>
186 </ul>
187 <hr>
188 <p><b><u><a name="celeb_beaut_pag_cont"></a>Celebrities, Beauty Pageant
189 Contestants</u></b></p>
190 <ul>
191 <li><b>Question:</b>&nbsp; &quot;If you could live forever, would you and why?&quot;&nbsp;
192 <b>Answer:</b>&nbsp; &quot;I
193 would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were
194 supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live
195 forever, which is why I would not live forever&quot;--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss
196 USA contest</li>
197 </ul>
198 <hr>
199 <p><b><u><a name="celebrities_brooke_shields"></a>Celebrities, Brooke Shields</u></b></p>
200 <ul>
201 <li>&quot;Smoking kills.&nbsp; If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of
202 your life.&quot;--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a
203 federal anti-smoking campaign.</li>
204 </ul>
205 <hr>
206 <p><b><u><a name="celebrities_mariah_carey"></a>Celebrities, Mariah Carey</u></b></p>
207 <ul>
208 <li>&quot;Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the
209 world, I can't help but cry.&nbsp; I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with
210 all those flies and death and stuff.&quot;--Mariah Carey</li>
211 </ul>
212 <hr>
213 <p><b><u><a name="censorship"></a>Censorship</u></b></p>
214 <ul>
215 <li>&quot;Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public
216 mind.&quot;--General William Westmoreland</li>
217 </ul>
218 <hr>
219 <p><b><u><a name="computers_and_computing"></a>Computers And Computing</u></b></p>
220 <ul>
221 <li>&quot;A computer lets you make mistakes faster than any other invention,
222 with the possible exception of handguns and Tequila.&quot;--Mitch Ratcliffe, as
223 quoted by <a href="mailto:bryanp@visi.com"> Bryan Packer</a></li>
224 <li>&quot;Programming, an artform that fights back.&quot;--<a href="mailto:adiaz@msi.net.ph">Anuerin G. Diaz</a></li>
225 <li>&quot;A distributed system is one in which the failure of a computer you
226 didn't even know existed can render your own computer unusable.&quot;--Les
227 Lamport, s
228 quoted in newsgroup post by <a href="mailto:rick@ox.compsoc.net"> Richard Heylen</a></li>
229 <li>&quot;Every program has at least one bug and can be reduced by at least one
230 line.&nbsp; By induction, then, every program can be reduced to a single instruction,
231 and that will be wrong.&quot;--From a newsgroup post by <a href="mailto:iddw@hotmail.com"> Dave Hansen</a>
232 in April 2003</li>
233
234 <li>
235
236 &quot;
237
238 I invented the term 'Object Oriented' and I can tell you that I did not have C++ in mind.&quot;-- Alan Kay
239 </li>
240
241 <li>
242
243 &quot;
244
245 Claiming Java is easier than C++ is like saying K2 is shorter than Everest.&quot;-- Larry O'Brien, editor
246 <i> Software Development</i>
247 </li>
248
249 <li>
250
251 &quot;
252
253 A lot of people 'think' they understand C, but it is not only stranger than they imagine, it is stranger than they
254 'can' imagine.&quot;-- Richard A. O'Keefe
255 </li>
256
257 <li>
258
259 &quot;
260
261 C is its own virus.&quot;-- Miguel Gallo
262 </li>
263
264 <li>
265
266 &quot;
267
268 C gives you all the power of assembler ... along with the portability of assembler!&quot;--Unknown
269 </li>
270
271 <li>
272
273 &quot;
274
275 Java is a very popular language-- surprisingly popular considering it doesn't seem to have learnt the lessons of Simula 67.&quot;-- Malcolm Atkinson
276 </li>
277
278 <li>
279
280 &quot;
281
282 The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from.&quot;-- Andrew S. Tanenbaum
283 </li>
284
285 <li>
286
287 &quot;The debate over computer-assisted proofs is the high-end version of
288 arguments over using calculators in math classes—whether technology spurs
289 greater achievements by speeding rote calculations or deprives people of
290 fundamentals.&quot;--From an April 6, 2004 article in the New York Times (Web
291 Edition) entitled, &quot;<i>In Math, Computers Don't Lie.&nbsp; Or Do They</i>&quot;,
292 by Kenneth Chang
293 </li>
294
295 </ul>
296 <hr>
297 <p><b><u><a name="courage"></a>Courage</u></b></p>
298 <ul>
299 <li>&quot;Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities ...
300 because it is the quality which guarantees all others.&quot;--Winston Churchill</li>
301 <li>&quot;The desire for safety stands against every great and noble
302 enterprise.&quot;--Tacitus, Roman historian</li>
303 <li>"One man with courage makes a majority."--Andrew Jackson</li>
304 <li>"What separates the winners from the losers is how a person reacts to
305 each new twist of fate."--Donald Trump</li>
306 <li>"No captain can do very wrong if he places his ship alongside that of
307 the enemy."--Admiral Horatio Nelson</li>
308 <li>&quot;[Admiral Nelson's counsel] guided me time and again.&nbsp; On the eve of
309 the critical battle of Santa Cruz, in which the Japanese ships outnumbered ours
310 more than two to one, I sent my task force commanders this dispatch: <i>ATTACK
311 REPEAT ATTACK</i>.&nbsp; They did attack, heroically, and when the battle was done, the
312 enemy turned away.&nbsp; All problems, personal, national, or combat, become smaller
313 if you don't dodge them, but confront them.&nbsp; Touch a thistle timidly, and it
314 pricks you; grasp it boldly, and its spines crumble.&nbsp; Carry the battle to the
315 enemy!&nbsp; Lay your ship alongside his!&quot;--Admiral William 'Bull' Halsey</li>
316 <li>&quot;Never forget that no military leader has ever become great without
317 audacity.&quot;--Karl von Clausewitz</li>
318 </ul>
319 <hr>
320 <p><b><u><a name="freedom_and_civil_liberties"></a>Freedom And Civil Liberties</u></b></p>
321 <ul>
322 <li>&quot;First they came for the political activists, and I didn't defend
323 them, because I wasn't an activist.&nbsp; Then they came for the gun owners, and I
324 didn't defend them, because I wasn't a gun owner.&nbsp; Then they came for the writers
325 and philosophers, and I didn't defend them, because I wasn't a writer or
326 philosopher.&nbsp; Then they came for me, and there was nobody left to defend
327 me.&quot;--Unknown</li>
328 <li>&quot;Those who would trade personal liberties in the name of security
329 shall have neither.&quot;--Ben Franklin</li>
330 <li>&quot;We've been singing the same song in this country for more than 200
331 years.&nbsp; It's a very good song, and I want to keep singing it.&nbsp; I'm very leery of
332 changing the lyrics.&quot;--Art Babbott, Flagstaff, Arizona City Council member,
333 who sponsored the December, 2002 resolution in Flagstaff urging federal
334 authorities to respect citizens' civil rights when fighting terrorism</li>
335 </ul>
336 <hr>
337 <p><b><u><a name="general_humor"></a>General Humor</u></b></p>
338 <ul>
339 <li>&quot;I hope I don't sound like an old-fashioned stick-in-the-mud, but when
340 I hear about people making vast fortunes without doing any productive work or
341 contributing anything to society, my reaction is: 'How can I get in on
342 that?'&quot;--Dave Barry</li>
343 <li>&quot;I may seem more arrogant, but I think that's just because you didn't
344 realize how arrogant I was before.&quot;--Jeffrey Hobbs, Tcl Ambassador, Ajuba
345 Solutions</li>
346 <li>&quot;Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same
347 reactions in the brain as marijuana.&nbsp; The researchers also discovered other
348 similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are.&quot;--Matt Lauer
349 on NBC's <i>Today</i> show</li>
350 <li>&quot;Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.&quot;--Gloria
351 Steinem.</li>
352 <li>&quot;I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from
353 them.&nbsp; There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians
354 were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves.&quot;--John Wayne</li>
355 <li>&quot;Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we
356 received notice that you passed away.&nbsp; May God bless you.&nbsp; You may reapply if
357 there is a change in your circumstances.&quot;--Department of Social Services,
358 Greenville, South Carolina</li>
359 <li>&quot;We apologize for the error in last week's paper in which we stated
360 that Mr. Arnold Dogbody was a defective in the police force.&nbsp; We meant, of
361 course, that Mr. Dogbody is a detective in the police farce.&quot;--Correction
362 Notice in the Ely Standard, a British newspaper</li>
363 <li>&quot;If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as
364 they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night.&nbsp; And the
365 next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record.&quot;--Mark S. Fowler,
366 FCC Chairman</li>
367 <li>&quot;Although small, silky sharks are bad news.&nbsp; They're nervous, they're
368 aggressive, and there's lots of them.&quot;--<i>Sharks In The Golden Triangle</i>,
369 CBC.</li>
370 <li>&quot;People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's
371 safer to harrass rich women than motorcycle gangs.&quot;--from a rubber stamp
372 purchased at <i>Chestnut Creek, Inc.</i> in Dearborn, Michigan, USA.</li>
373 <li>&quot;Theory may inform, but Practice convinces.&quot;--George Bain.</li>
374 <li>&quot;I used to be disgusted, now I find I'm just amused.&quot;--Elvis
375 Costello.</li>
376 <li>&quot;Heroic people have heroic flaws.&quot;--Unknown</li>
377 <li>&quot;The reason I rob banks is 'cause that's where the money
378 is.&quot;--Willie Sutton</li>
379 <li>&quot;A lot of you are making security products that are an attractive
380 nuisance.&nbsp; Shame on you.&nbsp; I want you to grow up.&nbsp; I want functions and assurances
381 in security devices.&nbsp; We do not beta test on customers.&nbsp; If my product fails,
382 someone might die.&quot;--Brian Snow, of the National Security Agency's Information
383 Systems Security Organization, speaking at the Black Hat Briefings security
384 conference</li>
385 <li>&quot;There are three kinds of people: the ones that learn by reading, the
386 few who learn by observation, and the rest of them who have to touch the fire to
387 see for themselves if it's really hot.&quot;--Unknown</li>
388 <li>&quot;A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into
389 theorems.&quot;--Paul Erdos</li>
390 <li>&quot;A person needs only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape.&nbsp; If it doesn't
391 move and it should, use the WD-40.&nbsp; If it moves and it shouldn't, use the
392 tape.&quot;--Unknown</li>
393 <li>&quot;Fame is vapor, popularity is an accident, riches take wings.&nbsp; Only one
394 thing endures and that is character.&quot;--Horace Greeley</li>
395 <li>&quot;My mother is such an alarmist, always worried!&nbsp; One little cough, and
396 she thinks I have pneumonia.&nbsp; One little headache, and she is sure that I have a
397 brain tumor.&nbsp; One little lie, and she thinks I am destined to be president
398 ... .&quot;--Unknown</li>
399 <li>&quot;Stupidity is a renewable resource.&quot;--Unknown</li>
400 <li>&quot;Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking
401 about.&quot;--Unknown</li>
402 <li>&quot;A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the
403 support of Paul.&quot;--G. B. Shaw</li>
404 <li>&quot;All human beings should try to learn before they die what they are
405 running from, and to, and why.&quot;--James Thurber</li>
406 <li>&quot;It is with rivers as it is with people: the greatest are not the most
407 agreeable nor the best to live with.&quot;--Henry van Dyke</li>
408 <li>&quot;Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow that
409 talent to the dark place where it leads.&quot;--Erica Jong</li>
410 <li>&quot;A government that is big enough to give you all you want is big
411 enough to take it all away.&quot;--Barry Goldwater</li>
412 <li>&quot;If a hole is in the wrong place, then no amount of digging is going
413 to put it in the right place.&quot;--Edward de Bono</li>
414 <li>&quot;Misers aren't fun to live with, but they make wonderful
415 ancestors.&quot;--David Brenner</li>
416 <li>&quot;One way to prevent progress is by arguing that any first step is
417 unfair to somebody.&quot;--Unknown</li>
418 <li>&quot;People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't
419 realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.&quot;--Calvin
420 (&amp; Hobbes)</li>
421 <li>&quot;Montreal winters are an intelligence test, and we who are here have
422 failed it.&quot;--Doug Camilli</li>
423 <li>&quot;Growing up, my mom always claimed to feel bad when a bird would slam
424 head-first into our living room window.&nbsp; If she <i>really</i> felt bad, though,
425 she'd have moved the bird feeder outside.&quot;--Rich Johnson</li>
426 <li>&quot;I realize that there are certain hardships that only females must
427 endure, such as childbirth, waiting in lines for public-restroom stalls, and a
428 crippling, psychotic obsession with shoe color.&nbsp; Also, females tend to reach
429 emotional maturity very quickly, so that by age 7 they are no longer capable of
430 seeing the humor in loud inadvertent public blasts of flatulence, whereas males
431 can continue to derive vast enjoyment from this well into their 80s.&quot;--Dave
432 Barry</li>
433 <li>"Disease generally begins that equality which death completes; the
434 distinctions which set one man so much above another are very little perceived
435 in the gloom of a sick chamber, where it will be vain to expect entertainment
436 from the gay, or instruction from the wise; where all human glory is
437 obliterated, the wit is clouded, the reasoner perplexed, and the hero subdued;
438 where the highest and brightest of mortal beings finds nothing left him but the
439 consciousness of innocence."--Samuel Johnson</li>
440 <li>"More and more, our relationship with the industrial food industry
441 begins to resemble the one it has with its chickens, pigs and cows.&nbsp; In exchange
442 for zero responsibility, we get zero control."--Kalle Lasn, <i>Culture Jam</i></li>
443 <li>"Es ist ein Bluff.&nbsp; Sie können Autos und Kühlschränke
444 bauen, aber keine Flugzeuge!"--Hermann Göring im Jahre 1941 über
445 die industriellen Fähigkeiten der U.S.A</li>
446 <li>"There's no such thing as a <i>pretty good</i> alligator wrestler."--Original source unknown:&nbsp;
447 reprinted in February 2001 Scientific
448 American, Steve Mirsky's column</li>
449 <li>"I'd rather work with someone who's good at their job but doesn't like
450 me, than someone who likes me but is a ninny."--Sam Donaldson, as reproduced
451 in the July 2001 <i>Reader's Digest</i></li>
452 <li>"Pain is candy for the focused mind."--Agent Bobby Hobbes (actor
453 Paul Ben-Victor) in <i>The Invisible Man</i>, air date July 27, 2001 on the
454 Sci-Fi Channel</li>
455 <li>
456 "The greatest tragedy in mankind's entire history may be the hijacking
457 of morality by religion.&nbsp; However valuable--even necessary--that may have been
458 in enforcing good behavior on primitive peoples, their association is now
459 counterproductive.&nbsp; Yet at the very moment when they should be decoupled,
460 sanctimonious nitwits are calling for a return to morals based on superstition."--Arthur C. Clarke</li>
461 <li>
462 "The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content."--Unknown
463 </li>
464 <li>
465 "I live in my own little world.&nbsp; But it's ok...they know me here. "--Unknown
466 </li>
467 <li>
468 "I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Implants?"'--Unknown
469 </li>
470 <li>
471 "I don't do drugs anymore 'cause I find I get the same effect just
472 standing up really fast."--Unknown
473 </li>
474 <li>
475 "Sign In Pet Store:&nbsp; 'Buy one dog, get one flea ..."--Unknown
476 </li>
477 <li>
478 "Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with."--Unknown
479 </li>
480 <li>
481 "I got a sweater for Christmas ... I wanted a screamer or a moaner."--Unknown
482 </li>
483 <li>
484 "I don't approve of political jokes ... I've seen too many of
485 them get elected."--Unknown
486 </li>
487 <li>
488 "There are two sides to every divorce:&nbsp; yours and shithead's."--Unknown
489 </li>
490 <li>
491 "If life deals you lemons, make lemonade;&nbsp; if it deals you tomatoes,
492 make Bloody Marys.&nbsp; But if it deals you a truckload of hand grenades ... now
493 THAT'S a message!!"--Unknown
494 </li>
495 <li>
496 "I love being married.&nbsp; It's so great to find that one special person
497 you want to annoy for the rest of your life."--Unknown
498 </li>
499 <li>
500 "Shopping tip:&nbsp; You can get shoes for 85 cents at the bowling alley."--Unknown
501 </li>
502 <li>
503 "I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect."--Unknown
504 </li>
505 <li>
506 "I married my wife for her looks ... but not the ones she's been
507 giving me lately!"--Unknown
508 </li>
509 <li>
510 "Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days
511 I've stayed alive."--Unknown
512 </li>
513 <li>
514 "Two peanuts were walking down the street.&nbsp; One was a salted."--Unknown
515 </li>
516 <li>
517 "Isn't it funny how the mood can be ruined so quickly by just one
518 busted condom?"--Unknown
519 </li>
520 <li>
521 "If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead
522 rabbits on the highway?"--Unknown
523 </li>
524 <li>
525 "Welcome To Shit Creek--Sorry, We're Out of Paddles!"--Unknown
526 </li>
527 <li>
528 "How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50
529 for Miss America?"--Unknown
530 </li>
531 <li>
532 "Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing
533 section in a swimming pool?"--Unknown
534 </li>
535 <li>
536 "Marriage changes passion ... suddenly you're in bed with a relative."--Unknown
537 </li>
538 <li>
539 "Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?"--Unknown
540 </li>
541 <li>
542 "The next time you feel like complaining remember:&nbsp; Your garbage
543 disposal probably eats better than thirty percent of the people in this world."--Unknown
544 </li>
545 <li>
546 "Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled."--Unknown
547 </li>
548 <li>
549 "Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words:&nbsp; 'Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's
550 been.'&quot;--Unknown
551 </li>
552 <li>
553 "I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone,
554 but they've always worked for me."--Hunter S. Thompson
555 </li>
556 <li>
557 "I speak Spanish to God, Italian to women, French to men, and German
558 to my dog."--Emporer Charles V
559 </li>
560 <li>
561 "It is unfortunate that the HP board has seemingly missed what the
562 company's stockholders have clearly recognized:&nbsp; that dissent is not disloyalty,
563 that healthy boards need not agree on every issue and that while the management
564 and board may run the company, the stockholders are the true owners of the
565 company."--Walter Hewlett, in a statement after not being reappointed to the
566 Hewlett-Packard board of directors in March of 2002 due to an adversarial
567 relationship with the company
568 </li>
569 <li>
570 "Be true to your teeth or they will be false to you."--Unknown
571 </li>
572 <li>
573 "An exclamation point is like laughing at your own joke."--F. Scott
574 Fitzgerald
575 </li>
576 <li>
577 "It is not enough to succeed.&nbsp; Others must fail."--Gore Vidal
578 </li>
579 <li>
580 "Nostalgia isn't what it used to be."--Unknown
581 </li>
582 <li>
583 "They call television a medium because nothing's well done."--Goodman Ace.
584 </li>
585 <li>
586 "Diplomacy is the art of saying 'nice doggie' 'till you can find a rock."--Wynn Catlin
587 </li>
588 <li>
589 "I'm worried that just as clothes dryers have the knack of making
590 socks disappear, the federal government has discovered a core competency of
591 losing computers."--Charles E. Grassley (R-Iowa) in an August 2002 letter to
592 Mitchell E. Daniels Jr., director of the Office of Management and Budget, in
593 response to a report that thousands of personal computers were lost within the
594 IRS
595 </li>
596 <li>
597 "You can't outrun Death forever.&nbsp; But you can make the Bastard work for it."--Major Korgo
598 Korgar, "Last of The Lancers", AFC 32&nbsp; (This quote
599 appeared as a slide starting the episode <i>Lava and Rockets, Episode \#213</i>
600 of the TV series <i>Andromeda</i> in 2002.&nbsp; It is not clear to me if this is a
601 real quote by a fictitious person (is Korgo Korgar real?) or whether it is based
602 on a real-life quote by another person, or whether it was created by the show's
603 writers.&nbsp; This needs to be researched.)
604 </li>
605 <li>
606 "Will someone please explain to me the logic that says we can trust
607 someone with a Boeing 747 in bad weather, but not with a Glock 9 millimeter?"--Senator Zell Miller, in 9/2002 in support of a measure allowing
608 the arming of airline pilots
609 </li>
610 <li>
611 "The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies,
612 the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of
613 animals I have ever seen.&nbsp; Thank God for the United States Marine Corps!"--Eleanor Roosevelt, First Lady of the United States, 1945
614 </li>
615 <li>
616 "You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white
617 guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the Swiss hold the Americas Cup, France is
618 accusing the U.S. of arrogance, and Germany doesn't want to go to war."--Unknown Author (Received via e-mail during operation
619 <i>Iraqi Freedom</i> on March 25, 2003.)
620 </li>
621 <li>
622 "Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine."--Author
623 unknown, in the footer of a newsgroup post by <a href="mailto:iddw@hotmail.com"> Dave Hansen</a>
624 in April 2003.
625 </li>
626 <li>
627 &quot;Every great scientific truth goes through three states:&nbsp; first,
628 people say it conflicts with the Bible; next, they say it has been discovered
629 before; lastly, they say they always believed it.&quot;---Louis Agassiz
630 (1807-1873), Swiss-born American naturalist.
631 </li>
632 <li>
633 &quot;Laugh and the world laughs with you.&nbsp; Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.&quot;--Laurie
634 Kuslansky
635 </li>
636 <li>
637 &quot;My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being, hitting my
638 head on the top bunk bed until I faint.&quot;--Erma Bombeck
639 </li>
640 <li>
641 &quot;A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.&quot;--Rhonda
642 Hansome
643 </li>
644 <li>
645 &quot;The phrase 'working mother' is redundant.&quot;--Jane Sellman
646 </li>
647 <li>
648 &quot;Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows.&quot;--Jennifer
649 Unlimited
650 </li>
651 <li>
652 &quot;Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half
653 as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.&quot;--Charlotte Whitton
654 </li>
655 <li>
656 &quot;I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at
657 once.&quot;--Jennifer Unlimited
658 </li>
659 <li>
660 &quot;If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible
661 warning.&quot;--Catherine
662 </li>
663 <li>
664 &quot;When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years
665 before they realized I actually had a hearing loss.&nbsp; And they called ME slow!&quot;--Kathy
666 Buckley
667 </li>
668 <li>
669 &quot;I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb ...
670 and I'm also not blonde.&quot;--Dolly Parton
671 </li>
672 <li>
673 &quot;If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.&quot;--Sue
674 Grafton
675 </li>
676 <li>
677 &quot;I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.&quot;--Roseanne
678 Barr
679 </li>
680 <li>
681 &quot;When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping.&nbsp; Men invade another
682 country.&quot;--Elayne Boosler
683 </li>
684 <li>
685 &quot;Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.&quot;--Maryon Pearson
686 </li>
687 <li>
688 &quot;In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man- if you want anything done,
689 ask a woman.&quot;--Margaret Thatcher
690 </li>
691 <li>
692 &quot;I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a
693 career.&quot;--Gloria Steinem
694 </li>
695 <li>
696 &quot;I am a marvelous housekeeper.&nbsp; Every time I leave a man I keep his house.&quot;--Zsa
697 Zsa Gabor
698 </li>
699 <li>
700 &quot;Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.&quot;--Eleanor
701 Roosevelt
702 </li>
703 <li>&quot;In this world there are only two tragedies; one is not getting what one wants,
704 the other is getting it.&quot;-- Oscar Wilde
705 </li>
706
707 <li>&quot;It's so much easier to suggest solutions when you don't know too much about the problem.&quot;--Malcolm Forbes (1919 - 1990)
708 </li>
709
710 <li>&quot;I have always wished that my computer would be as easy to use as my telephone.&nbsp;
711 My wish has come true.&nbsp; I no longer know how to use my telephone.&quot;--Bjarne Stroustrup, computer science professor, designer of C++ programming language (1950- )
712 </li>
713
714 <li>&quot;In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.&quot;--Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914), The Devil's Dictionary
715 </li>
716
717 <li>&quot;Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon filled with backup tapes.&quot;--Jim Gray, ACM Turing Award winner
718 </li>
719
720 <li>&quot;A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against its government.&quot;--Edward Abbey, naturalist and author (1927-1989)
721 </li>
722
723 <li>&quot;When governments fear the people there is liberty.&nbsp; When the people fear the government there is tyranny.&quot;--Thomas Jefferson, third US president, architect and author (1743-1826)
724 </li>
725
726 <li>&quot;The hardest person to awaken is the one already awake.&quot;--Tagalog saying
727 </li>
728
729 <li>&quot;Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.&quot;--Hanlon's Razor
730 </li>
731
732 <li>&quot;It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.&quot;--James Thurber (1894 - 1961)
733 </li>
734
735 <li>
736
737 &quot;Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest.&quot;--Isaac
738 Asimov, author (1920 - 1992)
739 </li>
740
741 <li>
742
743
744 &quot;Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status.&quot;--Laurence J. Peter (1919 - 1988)
745 </li>
746
747 <li>
748
749 &quot;Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses.&quot;--Unknown
750 </li>
751
752 <li>
753
754 &quot;Patriotism is the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons.&quot;--Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)
755 </li>
756
757 <li>
758
759 &quot;'My country, right or wrong,' is a thing that no patriot would think of saying except in a desperate case.&nbsp;
760 It is like saying, 'My mother, drunk or sober.'&quot; - G. K. Chesterton (1874 - 1936)
761 </li>
762
763 <li>
764
765 &quot;When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad, and that is my religion.&quot;--Abraham Lincoln, US President (1809 - 1865) (attributed)
766 </li>
767
768 <li>&quot;To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public.&quot;--Theodore Roosevelt, 26th US President (1858-1919)
769 </li>
770
771 <li>
772
773 &quot;Computers are useless.&nbsp; They can only give you answers.&quot;--Pablo Picasso, artist (1881 - 1973)
774 </li>
775
776 <li>
777
778 &quot;Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.&quot;--H. L. Mencken, author (1880 - 1956)
779 </li>
780
781 <li>
782
783 &quot;Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.&quot;--Lucius Annaeus Seneca, writer and philosopher (BCE 3-65 CE)
784 </li>
785
786 <li>
787
788 &quot;Finance is the art of passing money from hand to hand until it finally disappears.&quot;--Robert W. Sarnoff, RCA executive (1918-1997)
789 </li>
790
791 <li>
792
793 &quot;Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.&quot;--Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915)
794 </li>
795
796 <li>
797
798 &quot;There are 10<sup>11</sup> stars in the galaxy.&nbsp; That used to be a huge number.&nbsp;
799 But it's only a hundred billion.&nbsp; It's less than the national deficit!&nbsp;
800 We used to call them astronomical numbers.&nbsp; Now we should call them economical numbers.&quot;--Richard Feynman, physicist, Nobel laureate (1918-1988)
801 </li>
802
803 <li>&quot;The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.&quot;--Samuel Butler (1835 - 1902)
804 </li>
805
806 <li>
807
808 &quot;Never express yourself more clearly than you think.&quot;--Niels Bohr
809 </li>
810
811 <li>
812
813 &quot;A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn't.&quot;--Unknown
814 </li>
815
816 <li>
817
818 &quot;Sometimes I think we're alone in the universe, and sometimes I think we're not.&nbsp;
819 In either case, the idea is quite staggering.&quot;--Arthur C Clarke, science fiction writer (1917- )
820 </li>
821
822 <li>
823
824 &quot;Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.&quot;--Kin Hubbard (1868 - 1930)
825 </li>
826
827 <li>
828
829 &quot;Whenever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship.&quot;--Harry S Truman (1884 - 1972)
830 </li>
831
832 <li>
833
834 &quot;Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.&quot;--George Bernard Shaw, writer, Nobel laureate (1856-1950)
835 </li>
836
837 <li>
838
839 &quot;All of the books in the world contain no more information than is broadcast as video in a single large American city in a single year.&nbsp;
840 Not all bits have equal value.&quot;--Carl Sagan, astronomer, author (1934-1996)
841 </li>
842
843 <li>
844
845 &quot;The universe is not hostile, nor yet is it friendly.&nbsp; It is simply indifferent.&quot;--John Haynes&nbsp;
846 </li>
847
848 <li>
849
850 &quot;A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled.&quot;--Sir Barnett Cocks
851 </li>
852
853 <li>
854
855 &quot;Nature is trying very hard to make us succeed, but nature does not depend on us.&nbsp;
856 We are not the only experiment.&quot;--R. Buckminster Fuller, engineer, designer, and architect (1895-1983)
857 </li>
858
859 <li>
860
861 &quot;Speech is conveniently located midway between thought and action, where it often substitutes for both.&quot;--John Andrew Holmes, 20th-century American author, physician
862 </li>
863
864 <li>
865
866 &quot;Worry is interest paid on trouble before it comes due.&quot;--William R. Inge, clergyman, scholar, and author (1860-1954)
867 </li>
868
869 <li>
870
871 &quot;Assassination:&nbsp; The extreme form of censorship.&quot;--George Bernard Shaw, writer, Nobel laureate (1856-1950)
872 </li>
873
874 <li>
875
876 &quot;History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.&quot;--Abba Eban, Israeli diplomat (1915-)
877 </li>
878
879 <li>&quot;Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get.&quot;--Anonymous
880 </li>
881
882 <li>
883
884 &quot;The measure of a man's real character is what he would do if he knew he would never be found out.&quot;--Thomas Babington Macaulay, author and statesman (1800-1859)
885 </li>
886
887 <li>
888
889 &quot;Life is one long process of getting tired.&quot;--Samuel Butler, British author
890 (1835-1902)
891 </li>
892
893 <li>
894
895 &quot;Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.&quot;--Confucius, philosopher and teacher (c. 551-478 BCE)
896 </li>
897
898 <li>
899
900 &quot;Never advise anyone to go to war or to marry.&quot;--Spanish Proverb
901 </li>
902
903 <li>
904
905 &quot;Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.&quot;--Philip K. Dick, author (1928-1982)
906 </li>
907
908 <li>
909
910 &quot;Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom.&nbsp; It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves.&quot;--William Pitt, British prime-minister (1759-1806)
911 </li>
912
913 <li>
914
915 &quot;The believer is happy; the doubter is wise.&quot;--Hungarian proverb&nbsp;
916 </li>
917
918 <li>
919
920 &quot;Skeptics laugh in order not to weep.&quot;--Anatole France, French author, critic and poet (1844-1924)
921 </li>
922
923 <li>
924
925 &quot;I take a simple view of living.&nbsp; It is keep your eyes open and get on with it.&quot;--Laurence Olivier, British actor
926 (1907-1989)
927 </li>
928
929 <li>
930
931 &quot;In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life:&nbsp; it goes on.&quot;--Robert Frost, poet (1874-1963)
932 </li>
933
934 <li>
935
936 &quot;There are some that only employ words for the purpose of disguising their thoughts.&quot;--Voltaire, philosopher (1694-1778)
937 </li>
938
939 <li>
940
941 &quot;I have learnt silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers.&quot;--
942 Kahlil Gibran, mystic, poet and artist (1883-1931)
943 </li>
944
945 <li>
946
947 &quot;Human beings are the only creatures who are able to behave irrationally in the name of reason.&quot;--Ashley
948 Montagu, English anthropologist (1905-1999)
949 </li>
950
951 <li>
952
953 &quot;Those are my principles.&nbsp; If you don't like them I have others.&quot;--Groucho Marx, comedian (1890-1977)
954 </li>
955
956 <li>
957
958 &quot;Always remember that you are unique.&nbsp; Just like everyone else.&quot;--Unattributed
959 </li>
960
961 <li>
962
963 &quot;Perfection is attained by slow degrees; it requires the hand of time.&quot;--Voltaire, philosopher (1694-1778)
964 </li>
965
966 <li>
967
968 &quot;There's this thing called being so open-minded your brains drop out.&quot;--Richard Dawkins, biologist, author, philosopher (1941-)
969 </li>
970
971 <li>
972
973 &quot;All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.&quot;--Sean
974 O'Casey, playwright (1880-1964)
975 </li>
976
977 <li>
978
979 &quot;Every man is a damned fool for at least five minutes every day.&nbsp; Wisdom consists in not exceeding the
980 limit.&quot;--Elbert Hubbard, author, editor, printer (1856-1915)
981 </li>
982
983 <li>
984
985 &quot;War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.&quot;--Ambrose Bierce, writer (1842-1914)
986 </li>
987
988 <li>
989
990 &quot;Never confuse motion with action.&quot;--Benjamin Franklin, statesman, author, and inventor (1706-1790)
991 </li>
992
993 <li>
994
995 &quot;Dignity consists not in possessing honors, but in the consciousness that we deserve them.&quot;--Aristotle, philosopher (384-322 BCE)
996 </li>
997
998 <li>
999
1000 &quot;To a man with a hammer, everything looks like a nail.&quot;--Mark Twain, author and humorist (1835-1910)
1001 </li>
1002
1003 <li>
1004
1005 &quot;Make haste slowly.&quot;--Caesar Augustus, Roman emperor (63 BCE-14 CE)
1006 </li>
1007
1008 <li>
1009
1010 &quot;It is a bit embarrassing to have been concerned with the human problem all one's life and find at the end that one has no more to offer by way of advice than
1011 'try to be a little kinder.'&quot;--Aldous Huxley, novelist (1894-1963)
1012 </li>
1013
1014 <li>
1015
1016 &quot;Our sun is one of 100 billion stars in our galaxy.&nbsp; Our galaxy is one of the billions of galaxies populating the universe.&nbsp;
1017 It would be the height of presumption to think that we are the only living things within that enormous immensity.&quot;--Wernher von Braun, rocket engineer (1912-1977)
1018 </li>
1019
1020 <li>
1021
1022 &quot;Experience teaches us to be most on our guard to protect liberty when the government's purpose is beneficent.&nbsp;
1023 Men born to freedom are naturally alert to repel invasion of their liberty by evil-minded rulers.&nbsp;
1024 The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding.&quot;--Louis Dembitz Brandeis, lawyer, judge, and writer (1856-1941)
1025 </li>
1026
1027 <li>
1028
1029 &quot;When great changes occur in history, when great principles are involved, as a rule the majority are wrong.&quot;--Eugene V. Debs, American Socialist
1030 (1855-1926)
1031 </li>
1032
1033 <li>
1034
1035 &quot;I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.&quot;--Brendan Francis Behan, playwright (1923-1964)
1036 </li>
1037
1038 <li>
1039
1040 &quot;It may be necessary temporarily to accept a lesser evil, but one must never label a necessary evil as good.&quot;--Margaret Mead, American anthropologist (1901-1978)
1041 </li>
1042
1043 <li>
1044
1045 &quot;Be master of your petty annoyances and conserve your energies for the big, worthwhile things.&nbsp;
1046 It isn't the mountain ahead that wears you out--it's the grain of sand in your shoe.&quot;--Robert Service, writer (1874-1958)
1047 </li>
1048
1049 <li>
1050
1051 &quot;Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral?&nbsp; It is because we are not the person involved.&quot;--Mark Twain, author and humorist (1835-1910)
1052 </li>
1053
1054 <li>
1055
1056 &quot;Money often costs too much.&quot;--Ralph Waldo Emerson, American essayist, poet and philosopher (1803-1882)
1057 </li>
1058
1059 <li>
1060
1061 &quot;By three methods we may learn wisdom:&nbsp; First, by reflection, which is noblest; second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third, by experience, which is the bitterest.&quot;--Confucius, philosopher and teacher (c. 551- 478 BCE)
1062 </li>
1063
1064 <li>
1065
1066 &quot;Until lions have their historians, tales of the hunt shall always glorify the hunter.&quot;--African
1067 proverb
1068 </li>
1069
1070 <li>
1071
1072 &quot;Life is a long lesson in humility.&quot;--James M. Barrie, writer (1860-1937)
1073 </li>
1074
1075 <li>
1076
1077 &quot;The man who is a pessimist before forty-eight knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.&quot;--Mark Twain, author (1835-1910)
1078 </li>
1079
1080 <li>
1081
1082 &quot;A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.&quot;--George Bernard Shaw, writer, Nobel laureate (1856-1950)
1083 </li>
1084
1085 <li>
1086
1087 &quot;A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs--jolted by every pebble in the road.&quot;--Henry Ward Beecher, preacher and writer (1813-1887)
1088 </li>
1089
1090 <li>
1091
1092 &quot;Lighthouses are more helpful than churches.&quot;--Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)
1093 </li>
1094
1095 <li>
1096
1097 &quot;Sometimes to remain silent is to lie.&quot;--Miguel de Unamuno, philosopher and writer (1864-1936)
1098 </li>
1099
1100 <li>
1101
1102 &quot;Excuse my dust.&quot;--Dorothy Parker's own epitaph - poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
1103 </li>
1104
1105 <li>
1106
1107 &quot;Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.&quot;--Dorothy Parker - poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
1108 </li>
1109
1110 <li>
1111
1112 &quot;If all the girls in attendance were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.&quot;--Dorothy Parker responding to "Wasn't the Yale prom wonderful?" Poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
1113 </li>
1114
1115 <li>
1116
1117 &quot;You know, that woman speaks 18 languages, and she can't say 'no' in any of them.&quot;--Dorothy Parker - poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
1118 </li>
1119
1120 <li>
1121
1122 &quot;Brevity is the soul of lingerie.&quot;--Dorothy Parker - poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
1123 </li>
1124
1125 <li>
1126
1127 &quot;It's a small apartment, I've barely enough room to lay my hat and a few friends.&quot;--Dorothy Parker - poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
1128 </li>
1129
1130 <li>
1131
1132 &quot;One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.&quot;--Rita Mae Brown, author (1944- )
1133 </li>
1134
1135 <li>
1136
1137 &quot;When a man wants to murder a tiger he calls it sport; when the tiger wants to murder him he calls it ferocity.&quot;--George Bernard Shaw, writer, Nobel laureate (1856-1950)
1138 </li>
1139
1140 <li>
1141
1142 &quot;Don't discuss yourself, for you are bound to lose; if you belittle yourself, you are believed; if you praise yourself, you are disbelieved.&quot;--Michel de Montaigne, essayist (1533-1592)
1143 </li>
1144
1145 <li>
1146
1147 &quot;Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.&quot;--George Washington (1732-1799)
1148 </li>
1149
1150 <li>
1151
1152 &quot;Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful."--Samuel Johnson, English author, lexicographer (1709-1784)
1153 </li>
1154
1155 <li>
1156
1157 &quot;To have friends, you know, one need only be good-natured; but when a man has no enemy left there must be something mean about him.&quot;--Oscar Wilde, Anglo-Irish playwright, author (1854-1900)
1158 </li>
1159
1160 <li>
1161
1162 &quot;To have doubted one's own first principles is the mark of a civilized man.&quot;--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., poet, novelist, essayist, and physician (1809-1894)
1163 </li>
1164
1165 <li>
1166
1167 &quot;If I have been able to see further, it was only because I stood on the shoulders of giants.&quot;--Isaac Newton, mathematician, physicist (1642-1727)
1168 </li>
1169
1170 <li>
1171
1172 &quot;Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.&quot;--Will Durant, historian (1885-1981)
1173 </li>
1174
1175 <li>
1176
1177 &quot;Every woman is a 10; it just depends on what base you're counting in.&quot;--Unknown
1178 </li>
1179
1180 <li>
1181
1182 &quot;Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.&quot;--Abraham Lincoln, statesman, US President (1809-1865)
1183 </li>
1184
1185 <li>
1186
1187 &quot;Every society honors its live conformists and its dead troublemakers.&quot;--Mignon McLaughlin, author
1188 </li>
1189
1190 <li>
1191
1192 &quot;Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.&quot;--Arthur C. Clarke
1193 </li>
1194
1195 <li>
1196
1197 &quot;When men are most sure and arrogant, they are commonly the most mistaken.&quot;--David Hume, philosopher, historian (1711-1776)
1198 </li>
1199
1200 <li>
1201
1202 &quot;The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who, in time of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality.&quot;--Dante Alighieri, poet (1265 -1321)
1203 </li>
1204
1205 <li>&quot;I long to accomplish a great and noble task; but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble.&quot;--Helen Keller, deaf & blind lecturer (1880-1968)
1206 </li>
1207
1208 <li>
1209
1210 &quot;I'm proud to pay taxes in the United States; the only thing is, I could be just as proud for half the money.&quot;--Arthur Godfrey
1211 </li>
1212
1213 <li>
1214
1215 &quot;Walking is also an ambulation of mind.&quot;--Gretel Ehrlich, novelist, poet, and essayist (1946- )
1216 </li>
1217
1218 <li>
1219
1220 &quot;Every saint has a past and every sinner a future.&quot;--Oscar Wilde, writer (1854-1900)
1221 </li>
1222
1223 <li>&quot;Good judgment comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgment.&quot;--Rita Mae Brown, American writer and playwright
1224 </li>
1225
1226 <li>
1227
1228 &quot;People are like stained glass windows: they sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light within.&quot;--Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, psychiatrist and author (1926- )
1229 </li>
1230
1231 <li>
1232
1233 &quot;Too many have dispensed with generosity in order to practice charity.&quot;--Albert Camus (1913-1960)
1234 </li>
1235
1236 <li>
1237
1238 &quot;Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity.&quot;--Frank Leahy
1239 </li>
1240
1241 <li>
1242
1243 &quot;When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President.&nbsp; Now I'm beginning to believe
1244 it.&quot;--Clarence Darrow, lawyer, author (1857-1938)
1245 </li>
1246
1247 <li>
1248
1249 &quot;Since Auschwitz we know what man is capable of.&nbsp; And since Hiroshima we know what is at stake.&quot;--Viktor Frankl, author, neurologist and psychiatrist, Holocaust survivor (1905-1997)
1250 </li>
1251
1252 <li>
1253
1254 &quot;Choosing the lesser of two evils, is still choosing evil&quot;--Christopher Hampton, British playwright
1255 </li>
1256
1257 <li>
1258
1259 &quot;When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.&quot;--Mae West
1260 </li>
1261
1262 <li>
1263
1264 &quot;Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.&quot;--Abraham Lincoln, statesman, US President (1809-1865)
1265 </li>
1266
1267 <li>
1268
1269 &quot;Never mistake motion for action.&quot;--Ernest Hemingway, writer, journalist (1899-1961)
1270 </li>
1271
1272 <li>
1273
1274 &quot;The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing.&nbsp; If you can fake that, you've got it made.&quot;--Groucho Marx
1275 </li>
1276
1277 <li>
1278
1279 &quot;Love your enemies, for they tell you your faults.&quot;--Benjamin Franklin, statesman, philosopher, journalist (1706-1790)
1280 </li>
1281
1282 <li>
1283
1284 &quot;Pay attention to your enemies, for they are the first to discover your mistakes.&quot;--Antisthenes, Greek philosopher (ca 445- ca 365 BCE)
1285 </li>
1286
1287 <li>
1288
1289 &quot;Cannibals prefer those who have no spines.&quot;--Stanislaw Lem
1290 </li>
1291
1292 <li>
1293
1294 &quot;I was reading the dictionary.&nbsp; I thought it was a poem about everything.&quot;--Steven Wright, comedian (1955- ?)
1295 </li>
1296
1297 <li>
1298
1299 &quot;When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.&quot;--Mark Twain, writer, philosopher (1835-1910)
1300 </li>
1301
1302 <li>
1303
1304 &quot;The least initial deviation from the truth is multiplied later a thousand-fold.&quot;--Aristotle, philosopher (ca 384- ca 322 BCE)
1305 </li>
1306
1307 <li> &quot;I didn't know he was one of the first lawyers!&nbsp; The first human who hurled an insult instead of a stone was the founder of civilization.&quot;--Sigmund Freud, neurologist, founder of psychoanalysis (1856-1939)
1308 </li>
1309
1310 <li>
1311
1312 &quot;Trust in Allah, but tie your camel.&quot;--Arabic saying
1313 </li>
1314
1315 <li>
1316
1317 &quot;In the midst of great joy, do not promise anyone anything.&nbsp; In the midst of great anger, do not answer anyone's letter.&quot;--Chinese proverb
1318 </li>
1319
1320 <li>
1321
1322 &quot;It is not what we do, but also what we do not do, for which we are accountable.&quot;--Moliere, playwright (1622-1673)
1323 </li>
1324
1325 <li>
1326
1327 &quot;When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.&nbsp;
1328 But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1329 </li>
1330
1331 <li>
1332
1333 &quot;I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1334 </li>
1335
1336 <li>
1337
1338 &quot;Familiarity breeds contempt--and children.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1339 </li>
1340
1341 <li>&quot;Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1342 </li>
1343
1344 <li>
1345
1346 &quot;The past may not repeat itself, but it sure does rhyme.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1347 </li>
1348
1349 <li>
1350
1351 &quot;I have no color prejudices nor caste prejudices nor creed prejudices.&nbsp;
1352 All I care to know is that a man is a human being, and that is enough for me; he can't be any worse.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1353 </li>
1354
1355 <li>
1356
1357 &quot;Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1358 </li>
1359
1360 <li>
1361
1362 &quot;Duct tape is like the force.&nbsp; It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe
1363 together ...&quot;--Carl Zwanzig
1364 </li>
1365
1366 <li>
1367
1368 &quot;Be careful of reading health books, you might die of a misprint.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1369 </li>
1370
1371 <li>
1372
1373 &quot;There are three kinds of lies:&nbsp; lies, damn lies, and statistics.&quot;--Mark Twain (1835-1910)
1374 </li>
1375
1376 <li>
1377
1378 &quot;In America, anybody can be president.&nbsp; That's one of the risks you take.&quot;--Adlai Stevenson, statesman (1900-1965)
1379 </li>
1380
1381 <li>
1382
1383 &quot;There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.&quot;--Frank Zappa
1384 </li>
1385
1386 <li>
1387
1388 &quot;Black holes are where God divided by zero.&quot;--Steven Wright, comedian (1955- ?)
1389 </li>
1390
1391 <li>
1392
1393 &quot;If you believe everything you read, better not read.&quot;--Japanese proverb
1394 </li>
1395
1396 <li>
1397
1398 &quot;A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.&quot;--Oscar Wilde, writer (1854-1900)
1399 </li>
1400
1401 <li>
1402
1403 &quot;So you're the man who can't spell fuck.&quot;--Dorothy Parker to Norman Mailer (he had been convinced by his publisher to use "fug"
1404 instead) Poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
1405 </li>
1406
1407 <li>
1408
1409 &quot;You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think&quot;--Dorothy Parker - poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
1410 </li>
1411
1412 <li>
1413
1414 &quot;Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1415 </li>
1416
1417 <li>
1418
1419 &quot;We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech.&quot;--Kathleen Dixon, Director of women's studies department, Bowling Green State Univ. on disallowing the teaching of a course on Political Correctness
1420 </li>
1421
1422 <li>
1423
1424 &quot;Give me ambiguity or give me something else.&quot;--Unattributed
1425 </li>
1426
1427 <li>
1428
1429 &quot;Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.&quot;--Soren Kierkegaard, philosopher, theologian (1813-1855)
1430 </li>
1431
1432 <li>
1433
1434 &quot;We are not retreating--we are advancing in another direction.&quot;--General Douglas MacArthur (1880-1964)
1435 </li>
1436
1437 <li>
1438
1439 &quot;Adults are obsolete children.&quot;--Dr. Seuss (1904-1991)
1440 </li>
1441
1442 <li>
1443
1444 &quot;The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.&quot;--James Branch Cabell
1445 </li>
1446
1447 <li>
1448
1449 &quot;It should be done with the same degree of alacrity and nonchalance that you would display in authorizing a highly intelligent trained bear to remove your appendix.&quot;--Dan Greenberg
1450 </li>
1451
1452 <li>
1453
1454 &quot;To keep your marriage brimming,
1455 With love in the loving cup,
1456 Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
1457 Whenever you're right, shut up.&quot;--Ogden Nash, poet (1902-1971)
1458 </li>
1459
1460 <li>
1461
1462 &quot;Having served on various committees, I have drawn up a list of rules:
1463 · Never arrive on time; this stamps you as a beginner.
1464 · Don't say anything until the meeting is half over; this stamps you as being wise.
1465 · Be as vague as possible; this avoids irritating the others.
1466 · When in doubt, suggest that a subcommittee be appointed.
1467 · Be the first to move for adjournment; this will make you popular; it's what everyone is waiting for.&quot;--Harry Chapman
1468 </li>
1469
1470 <li>
1471
1472 &quot;Take care of those who work for you and you'll float to greatness on their achievements.&quot;--H.S.M. Burns
1473 </li>
1474
1475 <li>
1476
1477 &quot;A remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he is really very good in spite of all the people who say he is very good.&quot;--Robert Graves
1478 </li>
1479
1480 <li>
1481
1482 &quot;Television has done much for psychiatry, by spreading information about it as well as contributing to the need for it.&quot;--Alfred Hitchcock
1483 </li>
1484
1485 <li>
1486
1487 &quot;The first principle is that you must not fool yourself--and you are the easiest person to fool.&quot;--Richard Feynman, physicist (1918-1988)
1488 </li>
1489
1490 <li>
1491
1492 &quot;What if this weren't a hypothetical question?&quot;--Unattributed
1493 </li>
1494
1495 <li>
1496
1497 &quot;Everywhere is walking distance ... if you have the time.&quot;--Steven Wright, comedian (1955- ?)
1498 </li>
1499
1500 <li>
1501
1502 &quot;He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.&quot;--Chinese proverb
1503 </li>
1504
1505 <li>
1506
1507 &quot;It is not enough to have a good mind.&nbsp; The main thing is to use it well.&quot;--Rene Descartes, mathematician, philosopher (1596-1650) in "Le Discours de la Methode," 1637
1508 </li>
1509
1510 <li>
1511
1512 &quot;Experience is the comb life gives you after you lose your hair.&quot;--Judith Stearn
1513 </li>
1514
1515 <li>
1516
1517 &quot;Life is pleasant.&nbsp; Death is peaceful.&nbsp; It's the transition that's troublesome.&quot;--Isaac
1518 Asimov, science-fiction writer (1920-1992)
1519 </li>
1520
1521 <li>
1522
1523 &quot;It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.&quot;--Mark Twain, author and humorist (1835-1910)
1524 </li>
1525
1526 <li>
1527
1528 &quot;It is criminal to steal a purse, daring to steal a fortune, a mark of greatness to steal a crown.&nbsp;
1529 The blame diminishes as the guilt increases.&quot;--Johan Christoph Friedrich von Schiller, poet and dramatist (1759-1805)
1530 </li>
1531
1532 <li>
1533
1534 &quot;There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.&quot;--Mary Little
1535 </li>
1536
1537 <li>
1538
1539 &quot;I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.&quot;--Mae West
1540 </li>
1541
1542 <li>
1543
1544 &quot;I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage.&nbsp;
1545 They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.&quot;--Rita
1546 Rudner, comedian
1547 </li>
1548
1549 <li>
1550
1551 &quot;I know I am among civilized men because they are fighting so savagely.&quot;--Voltaire, write (1694-1778)
1552 </li>
1553
1554 <li>
1555
1556 &quot;If it's fact, it ain't brag.&quot;--Dizzy Dean
1557 </li>
1558
1559 <li>
1560
1561 &quot;By all means marry.&nbsp; If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.&nbsp; If you get a bad one, you'll become a
1562 philosopher.&quot;--Socrates, philosopher, teacher (ca 470- ca 399 BCE)
1563 </li>
1564
1565 <li>
1566
1567 &quot;I think ... I think it's in my basement.&nbsp; Let me go upstairs and check.&quot;--M.C. Escher, artist (1898-1972)
1568 </li>
1569
1570 <li>
1571
1572 &quot;Children aren't happy without something to ignore.&nbsp; And that's what parents were created for.&quot;--Ogden Nash, poet (1902-1971)
1573 </li>
1574
1575 <li>
1576
1577 &quot;I find that principles have no real force except when one is well fed.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, humorist (1835-1910)
1578 </li>
1579
1580 <li>
1581
1582 &quot;Say not, 'I have found the truth,' but rather, 'I have found a truth.&quot;--Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931)
1583 </li>
1584
1585 <li>
1586
1587 &quot;A leader who keeps his ear to the ground allows his rear end to become a target.&quot;--Angie Papadakis
1588 </li>
1589
1590 <li>
1591
1592 &quot;Science is built with facts as a house is with stones--but a collection of facts is no more a science than a heap of stones is a house.&quot;--Jules Henry Poincare (1854-1912)
1593 </li>
1594
1595 <li>
1596
1597 &quot;Wit is educated insolence.&quot;--Aristotle, philosopher (ca 384- ca 322 BCE)
1598 </li>
1599
1600 <li>
1601
1602 &quot;As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.&quot;--Josh Billings
1603 </li>
1604
1605 <li>
1606
1607 &quot;A practical man is a man who practices the errors of his forefathers.&quot;--Lord Beaconsfield
1608 </li>
1609
1610 <li>
1611
1612 &quot;Teachers open the door, but you must enter by yourself.&quot;--Chinese Proverb
1613 </li>
1614
1615 <li>
1616
1617 &quot;Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence of fear.&quot;--
1618 Mark Twain, author, humorist (1835-1910)
1619 </li>
1620
1621 <li>
1622
1623 &quot;Pessimist:&nbsp; One who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both.&quot;--
1624 Oscar Wilde, writer, playwright (1854-1900)
1625 </li>
1626
1627 <li>
1628
1629 &quot;There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness'.&quot;--Dave Barry
1630 </li>
1631
1632 <li>
1633
1634 &quot;There is far more opportunity than there is ability.&quot;--Thomas Edison, inventor (1847-1931)
1635 </li>
1636
1637 <li>
1638
1639 &quot;A great deal of intelligence can be invested in ignorance when the need for illusion is deep.&quot;--Saul Belloe
1640 </li>
1641
1642 <li>
1643
1644 &quot;I have one share in corporate Earth, and I am nervous about the management.&quot;--E.B. White
1645 </li>
1646
1647 <li>
1648
1649 &quot;They called me mad, and I called them mad, and damn them, they outvoted me.&quot;--Nathaniel Lee (on being consigned to a mental institution, circa 17th c.)
1650 </li>
1651
1652 <li>
1653
1654 &quot;There are two ways to slide easily through life: to believe everything or to doubt everything; both ways save us from thinking.&quot;--Theodore Rubin
1655 </li>
1656
1657 <li>
1658
1659 &quot;When you want to test the depths of a stream, don't use both feet.&quot;--Chinese Proverb
1660 </li>
1661
1662 <li>
1663
1664 &quot;A man does not have to be an angel in order to be saint.&quot;--Albert Schweitzer, theologian, philosopher, missionary, physician (1875-1965)
1665 </li>
1666
1667 <li>
1668
1669 &quot;Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone.&quot;--Pablo Picasso, artist (1881-1973)
1670 </li>
1671
1672 <li>
1673
1674 &quot;There is a point beyond which even justice becomes unjust.&quot;--Sophocles, slave, philosopher, teacher (ca 495? - ca 406 BCE)
1675 </li>
1676
1677 <li>
1678
1679 &quot;Television is an invention whereby you can be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your house.&quot;--David Frost
1680 </li>
1681
1682 <li>
1683
1684 &quot;A child on the farm sees a plane fly overhead and dreams of a faraway place.&nbsp;
1685 A traveler on the plane sees the farmhouse and thinks of home.&quot;--Carl Burns
1686 </li>
1687
1688 <li>
1689
1690 &quot;If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are gone, either write things worth reading or do things worth writing.&quot;--Benjamin Franklin, author, statesman (1706-1790)
1691 </li>
1692
1693 <li>
1694
1695 &quot;Adolescence is a period of rapid changes.&nbsp; Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent ages 20 years.&quot;--Changing Times magazine
1696 </li>
1697
1698 <li>
1699
1700 &quot;In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice.&nbsp; But, in practice, there is.&quot;--Jan L.A. van de Snepscheut
1701 </li>
1702
1703 <li>
1704
1705 &quot;An education isn't how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know.&nbsp;
1706 It's being able to differentiate between what you know and what you don't.&quot;--Anatole France
1707 </li>
1708
1709 <li>
1710
1711 &quot;It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.&quot;--Aristotle, philosopher (ca 384- ca 322 BCE)
1712 </li>
1713
1714 <li>
1715
1716 &quot;Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, humorist (1835-1910)
1717 </li>
1718
1719 <li>
1720
1721 &quot;When you say that you agree to a thing in principle, you mean that you have not the slightest intention of carrying it out.&quot;--Otto von Bismarck, 1st chancellor of German Empire (1815-1898)
1722 </li>
1723
1724 <li>
1725
1726 &quot;There are two things that you should never see being made: sausage, and... a political deal.&quot;--Otto von Bismarck (paraphrased) , 1st chancellor of German Empire (1815-1898)
1727 </li>
1728
1729 <li>
1730
1731 &quot;Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.&quot;--Ralph Waldo Emerson, essayist, poet (1803-1882)
1732 </li>
1733
1734 <li>
1735
1736 &quot;Lottery:&nbsp; a tax on people who are bad at math.&quot;--Unattributed
1737 </li>
1738
1739 <li>
1740
1741 &quot;The best index to a person's character is how he treats people who can't do him any good, and how he treats people who can't fight back.&quot;--Abigail Van Buren
1742 </li>
1743
1744 <li>
1745
1746 &quot;Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.&quot;--Abraham Lincoln
1747 </li>
1748
1749 <li>
1750
1751 &quot;A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines.&nbsp;
1752 With consistency, a great soul has simply nothing to do.&quot;--Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 -1882)
1753 </li>
1754
1755 <li>
1756
1757 &quot;All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.&quot;--Mark Twain (1835 -1910)
1758 </li>
1759
1760 <li>
1761
1762 &quot;When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?&quot;--Robin Williams
1763 </li>
1764
1765 <li>
1766
1767 &quot;Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft--and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.&quot;--Werner von Braun, rocket engineer (1912-1977)
1768 </li>
1769
1770 </ul>
1771 <hr>
1772 <p><b><u><a name="hard_work"></a>Hard Work</u></b></p>
1773 <ul>
1774 <li>"The only place where <i>success</i> comes before <i>work</i> is in
1775 the dictionary."--Vidal Sassoon</li>
1776 </ul>
1777 <hr>
1778 <p><b><u><a name="hum_nat_soc_int"></a>Human Nature And Social Interactions</u></b></p>
1779 <ul>
1780 <li>"Anyone can be a barbarian; it requires a terrible effort to remain a
1781 civilized man."--Leonard Sidney Woolf</li>
1782 <li>"People start to diet when their stomachs stick out further than their
1783 dickiedoos."--Andy Sipowicz, \emph{NYPD Blue}.</li>
1784 <li>"Feeling guilty is one thing; looking guilty is something entirely
1785 different."--Dylan McCabe, \emph{Beverly Hills 90210}, airdate 04/00.</li>
1786 <li>"Unconfronted behavior will continue."--Unknown</li>
1787 <li>"It is easier to ask forgiveness than permission."--Unknown</li>
1788 <li>"How far you go in life, depends on your being Tender with the young,
1789 Compassionate with the Aged, Sympathetic with the Striving and Tolerant of the
1790 Weak and the Strong. Because, someday in life you will have been all of these."--George Washington Carver.</li>
1791 <li>"Simplicity of character is the natural result of profound thought."--From A Chinese Restaurant Fortune Cookie, 01/26/01
1792 </li>
1793 <li>"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds."--Ralph
1794 Waldo Emerson
1795 </li>
1796 <li>"Better to die on an 80 foot yacht with a 20-old then on a 20-foot yacht with an 80 year old."--Unknown
1797 </li>
1798 </ul>
1799 <hr>
1800 <p><b><u><a name="histfig_napoleon"></a>Historical Figures, Napoleon</u></b></p>
1801 <ul>
1802 <li>&quot;[A]ny commander in chief who undertakes to carry out a plan which he
1803 considers defective is at fault; he must put forth his reasons, insist on the
1804 plan being changed, and finally tender his resignation rather than be the
1805 instrument of his army's downfall.&quot;--Napoleon</li>
1806 </ul>
1807 <hr>
1808 <p><b><u><a name="marriage_fav_manview"></a>Marriage (Favorable, From The Man's Point Of
1809 View)</u></b></p>
1810 <ul>
1811 <li>"A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that
1812 your wife will give you for free."--Anonymous</li>
1813 </ul>
1814 <hr>
1815 <p><b><u><a name="marriage_unfav_genderless"></a>Marriage (Unfavorable,
1816 Genderless)</u></b></p>
1817 <ul>
1818 <li>"Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement-ring, wedding-ring, suffer-ing.&quot;--Unknown</li>
1819 <li>"When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why. When a
1820 ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why."--Unknown</li>
1821 <li>"Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener."--Unknown</li>
1822 <li>"When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of
1823 one thing: either the car or the wife is new."--Unknown</li>
1824 </ul>
1825 <hr>
1826 <p><b><u><a name="marriage_unfav_manview"></a>Marriage (Unfavorable, From The Man's Point Of
1827 View)</u></b></p>
1828 <ul>
1829 <li>"Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not
1830 the only thing in life!"--Anonymous</li>
1831 <li>"An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she
1832 gets the more interested he is in her.&quot;--Agatha Christie</li>
1833 <li>"Bachelors should be heavily taxed.&nbsp; It is not fair that some men
1834 should be happier than others."--Oscar Wilde</li>
1835 <li>"Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper."--Scottish
1836 Proverb</li>
1837 <li>"I don't worry about terrorism.&nbsp; I was married for two years."--Sam
1838 Kinison</li>
1839 <li>"Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't,
1840 they'd be married too."--H. L. Mencken</li>
1841 <li>"Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later;
1842 for another thing, they die earlier."--H. L. Mencken</li>
1843 <li>"A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle."--U2</li>
1844 <li>"I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back."--Anonymous</li>
1845 <li>&quot;I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our
1846 anniversary?'&nbsp; She
1847 said, 'Somewhere I have never been!'&nbsp; I told her, 'How about the
1848 kitchen?'&quot;--Unknown</li>
1849 <li>"We always hold hands.&nbsp; If I let go, she shops."--Unknown</li>
1850 <li>"My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours.&nbsp; That was only for the estimate."--Unknown</li>
1851 <li>"She got a mudpack and looked great for two days.&nbsp; Then the mud fell off."--Unknown</li>
1852 <li>&quot;She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, 'Am I too late for the
1853 garbage?'&nbsp; Following her down the street I yelled, 'No, jump
1854 in!'&quot;--Unknown</li>
1855 <li>&quot;Badd Teddy recently explained to me why he refuses to ever get married.&nbsp;
1856 He said, 'the wedding rings look too much like minature handcuffs
1857 ...'&quot;--Unknown</li>
1858 <li>"If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at
1859 the front door, who do you let in first?&nbsp; The dog of course...!!!&nbsp; At least he'll
1860 shut up after you let him in!"--Unknown</li>
1861 <li>&quot;A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother
1862 and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man
1863 kneeling at a grave.&nbsp; The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and
1864 kept repeating,&nbsp; 'Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?'&nbsp; The first
1865 man approached him and said, 'Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private
1866 grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before.&nbsp; For
1867 whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?'&nbsp; The mourner took a moment to
1868 collect himself then replied, 'My wife's first husband.'&quot;--Unknown</li>
1869 <li>&quot;A couple came upon a wishing well.&nbsp; The husband leaned over, made a wish
1870 and threw in a penny.&nbsp; The wife decided to make a wish, too.&nbsp; But she leaned over
1871 too much; fell into the well and drowned.&nbsp; The husband was stunned for a while
1872 but smiled 'It really works!'&quot;--Unknown</li>
1873 <li>&quot;Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.&nbsp; After marriage,
1874 the 'y' becomes silent.&quot;--Unknown</li>
1875 </ul>
1876 <hr>
1877 <p><b><u><a name="microsoft"></a>Microsoft</u></b></p>
1878 <ul>
1879 <li>"Not using Microsoft products is like being a non-smoker 40 or 50
1880 years ago:&nbsp; you can choose not to smoke, yourself, but it's hard to avoid
1881 second-hand smoke."--M. Tiemann (from an e-mail footer belonging to
1882 Rick Moen--I do not know who M. Tiemann is)</li>
1883 <li>&quot;I sense much NT in you.&nbsp; NT leads to Bluescreen.&nbsp; Bluescreen
1884 leads to downtime.&nbsp; Downtime leads to suffering.&nbsp; NT is the path to the
1885 darkside.&nbsp; Powerful Unix is."--From an SSH mailing list post by <a href="mailto:lorenl@alzatex.com"> Loren
1886 Lang</a> in 12/2001.</li>
1887 <li>"The best way to accelerate a computer running Windows is at 9.8 m/sec<sup>2</sup>.&quot;--From an e-mail footer used by
1888 <a href="mailto:tlaane@lucent.com"> Thomas Laane</a> in 02/2002.</li>
1889 <li>&quot;Mr. Ballmer, Microsoft's chief executive, once referred to Linux's
1890 licensing as 'a cancer that attaches itself in an intellectual property sense to
1891 everything it touches.'&quot;--From a <a href="http://www.nytimes.com" target="_blank">New
1892 York Times</a> article by Thomas Fuller entitled <i>How Microsoft Warded Off Rival</i> on May 15,
1893 2003</li>
1894 <li>&quot;Failure is not an option, it comes bundled with your Microsoft
1895 product.&quot;--From an e-mail footer used by <a href="mailto:news@tux.com.au">Henry
1896 Phillips</a> in May, 2003</li>
1897
1898 <li>
1899
1900 &quot;
1901
1902 Who needs horror movies when we have Microsoft?&quot;-- Christine Comaford, PC Week, 27 Sep 1995
1903 </li>
1904
1905 <li>
1906
1907 &quot;
1908
1909 Where do you want to go today?&nbsp; It doesn't matter, you're coming with us.&quot;-- Microsoft
1910 </li>
1911
1912 </ul>
1913 <hr>
1914 <p><b><u><a name="old_age"></a>Old Age</u></b></p>
1915 <ul>
1916 <li>&quot;Inside every older person is a younger person--wondering what the hell
1917 happened.--Cora Harvey Armstrong.</li>
1918 <li>&quot;The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.&quot;--Helen Hayes (at
1919 73)</li>
1920 <li>&quot;I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.&quot;--Janette
1921 Barber</li>
1922 <li>&quot;Things are going to get a lot worse before they get
1923 worse.&quot;--Lily Tomlin</li>
1924 <li>&quot;A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.&quot;--Carrie
1925 Snow</li>
1926 <li>&quot;Old age ain't no place for sissies.&quot;--Bette Davis</li>
1927 <li>&quot;Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts
1928 falling apart.&quot;--Caryn Leschen</li>
1929 </ul>
1930 <hr>
1931 <p><b><u><a name="pets_cats"></a>Pets, Cats</u></b></p>
1932 <ul>
1933 <li>"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast."--Unknown</li>
1934 <li>"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods.&nbsp; Cats have never
1935 forgotten this."--Unknown</li>
1936 <li>"Cats are smarter than dogs.&nbsp; You can't get eight cats to pull a sled
1937 through snow."--Jeff Valdez</li>
1938 <li>"As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat."--Ellen Perry Berkeley</li>
1939 <li>"Dogs come when they are called; cats take a message and get back to
1940 you later."--Mary Bly</li>
1941 <li>"Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good
1942 many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia."--Joseph
1943 Wood Krutch</li>
1944 <li>"There are many intelligent species in the universe.&nbsp; They are all
1945 owned by cats."--Unknown</li>
1946 <li>"I have studied many philosophers and many cats.&nbsp; The wisdom of cats is
1947 infinitely superior.&quot;--Hippolyte Taine</li>
1948 <li>"Dogs believe they are human.&nbsp; Cats believe they are God."--Unknown</li>
1949 <li>"You can train a cat to do anything it wants to do."--Unknown</li>
1950 </ul>
1951 <hr>
1952 <p><b><u><a name="philo_aristotle"></a>Philosophers, Aristotle</u></b></p>
1953 <ul>
1954 <li>"It is best that laws should be so constructed as to leave as little
1955 as possible to the decision of those who judge."--Aristotle, <i>Rhetoric</i></li>
1956 <li>"We are what we repeatedly do.&nbsp; Excellence, then is not an act, but a habit."--Aristotle</li>
1957 <li>"Moral excellence comes about as a result of habit.&nbsp; We become just by
1958 doing just acts, temperate by doing temperate acts, brave by doing brave acts."--Aristotle</li>
1959 <li>"Happiness is the exercise of vital powers along lines of excellence,
1960 in a life affording them scope."--Aristotle</li>
1961 </ul>
1962 <hr>
1963 <p><b><u><a name="philo_henry_david_thoreau"></a>Philosophers, Henry David
1964 Thoreau</u></b></p>
1965 <ul>
1966 <li>"There is no rule more invariable than that we are paid for our
1967 suspicions by finding what we suspect."--Henry David Thoreau</li>
1968 </ul>
1969 <hr>
1970 <p><b><u><a name="police_and_law_enforcement"></a>Police And Law Enforcement</u></b></p>
1971 <ul>
1972 <li>"The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out
1973 after you wear them awhile."--From a humorous e-mail entitled <i>Funny
1974 Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1975 <li>"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."--From a humorous e-mail
1976 entitled <i>Funny
1977 Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1978 <li>"So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can
1979 write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"--From a humorous e-mail entitled <i>Funny
1980 Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1981 <li>"Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it
1982 will help.&nbsp; Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"--From a humorous
1983 e-mail entitled <i>Funny
1984 Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1985 <li>"Warning!&nbsp; You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that
1986 again or I'll give you another ticket."--From a humorous e-mail entitled <i>Funny
1987 Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1988 <li>"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk
1989 or not.&nbsp; Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"--From a humorous e-mail entitled <i>Funny
1990 Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1991 <li>"Yeah, we have a quota.&nbsp; Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."--From a humorous e-mail entitled
1992 <i>Funny
1993 Police Quotes</i> received
1994 around 04/08/00.</li>
1995 <li>"Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."--From a humorous
1996 e-mail entitled <i>Funny
1997 Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1998 <li>"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore.&nbsp; We used to have quotas, but now
1999 we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."--From a humorous e-mail
2000 entitled <i>Funny
2001 Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
2002 <li>"Just how big were those two beers?"--From a humorous e-mail
2003 entitled <i>Funny
2004 Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
2005 <li>"In God we trust, all others are suspects."--From a humorous e-mail
2006 entitled <i>Funny
2007 Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
2008 </ul>
2009 <hr>
2010 <p><b><u><a name="politfig_winston_churchill"></a>Political Figures, Winston
2011 Churchill</u></b></p>
2012 <ul>
2013 <li>"True genius resides in the capacity for evaluation of uncertain,
2014 hazardous, and conflicting information."--Winston Churchill</li>
2015 </ul>
2016 <hr>
2017 <p><b><u><a name="polit_fig_bill_hilary_clinton"></a>Political Figures, Bill And Hilary
2018 Clinton</u></b></p>
2019 <ul>
2020 <li>"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We
2021 are the president."--Hillary Clinton (commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents)</li>
2022 </ul>
2023 <hr>
2024 <p><b><u><a name="politfig_al_gore"></a>Political Figures, Al Gore</u></b></p>
2025 <ul>
2026 <li>"Y'all know how I feel about Al Gore--he's as dull as sober
2027 missionary sex with someone you know.&quot;--<i>Saturday Night Live</i> comedian
2028 impersonating President Bill Clinton, broadcast date 04/01/00.</li>
2029 <li>"A zebra
2030 does not change its spots."--Al Gore</li>
2031 </ul>
2032 <hr>
2033 <p><b><u><a name="politfig_henry_kissinger"></a>Political Figures, Henry
2034 Kissinger</u></b></p>
2035 <ul>
2036 <li>"There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full."--Henry Kissinger</li>
2037 <li>"Even paranoid people have enemies."--Henry Kissinger</li>
2038 </ul>
2039 <hr>
2040 <p><b><u><a name="politfig_colin_powell"></a>Political Figures, Colin Powell</u></b></p>
2041 <ul>
2042 <li>"Being responsible sometimes means pissing people off."--Colin
2043 Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i>.</li>
2044 <li>"Being responsible sometimes means pissing people off.&nbsp; Good leadership
2045 involves responsibility to the welfare of the group, which means that some
2046 people will get angry at your actions and decisions.&nbsp; It's inevitable, if you're
2047 honorable.&nbsp; Trying to get everyone to like you is a sign of mediocrity: you'll
2048 avoid the tough decisions, you'll avoid confronting the people who need to be
2049 confronted, and you'll avoid offering differential rewards based on differential
2050 performance because some people might get upset.&nbsp; Ironically, by procrastinating
2051 on the difficult choices, by trying not to get anyone mad, and by treating
2052 everyone equally 'nicely' regardless of their contributions, you'll simply
2053 ensure that the only people you'll wind up angering are the most creative and
2054 productive people in the organization."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2055 presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2056 <li>"The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have
2057 stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help them or
2058 concluded that you do not care. Either case is a failure of leadership."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation,
2059 <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2060 <li>"The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have
2061 stopped leading them.&nbsp; They have either lost confidence that you can help them or
2062 concluded that you do not care.&nbsp; Either case is a failure of leadership.&nbsp;
2063 If this
2064 were a litmus test, the majority of CEOs would fail.&nbsp; One, they build so many
2065 barriers to upward communication that the very idea of someone lower in the
2066 hierarchy looking up to the leader for help is ludicrous.&nbsp; Two, the corporate
2067 culture they foster often defines asking for help as weakness or failure, so
2068 people cover up their gaps, and the organization suffers accordingly.&nbsp; Real
2069 leaders make themselves accessible and available.&nbsp; They show concern for the
2070 efforts and challenges faced by underlings, even as they demand high standards.&nbsp;
2071 Accordingly, they are more likely to create an environment where problem
2072 analysis replaces blame."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership
2073 Primer</i></li>
2074 <li>"Don't be buffaloed by experts and elites.&nbsp; Experts often possess more
2075 data than judgment. Elites can become so inbred that they produce hemophiliacs
2076 who bleed to death as soon as they are nicked by the real world."--Colin
2077 Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2078 <li>"Don't be buffaloed by experts and elites.&nbsp; Experts often possess more
2079 data than judgment.&nbsp; Elites can become so inbred that they produce hemophiliacs
2080 who bleed to death as soon as they are nicked by the real world.&nbsp; Small companies
2081 and start-ups don't have the time for analytically detached experts.&nbsp; They don't
2082 have the money to subsidize lofty elites, either.&nbsp; The president answers the
2083 phone and drives the truck when necessary; everyone on the payroll visibly
2084 produces and contributes to bottom-line results or they're history.&nbsp; But as
2085 companies get bigger, they often forget who 'brought them to the dance':&nbsp; things
2086 like all-hands involvement, egalitarianism, informality, market intimacy,
2087 daring, risk, speed, agility.&nbsp; Policies that emanate from ivory towers often have
2088 an adverse impact on the people out in the field who are fighting the wars or
2089 bringing in the revenues.&nbsp; Real leaders are vigilant, and combative, in the face
2090 of these trends."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership
2091 Primer</i></li>
2092 <li>"Don't be afraid to challenge the pros, even in their own backyard."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation,
2093 <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2094 <li>"Don't be afraid to challenge the pros, even in their own backyard.&nbsp; Learn from the pros, observe them, seek them out as mentors and partners.&nbsp;
2095 But
2096 remember that even the pros may have leveled out in terms of their learning and
2097 skills.&nbsp; Sometimes even the pros can become complacent and lazy.&nbsp; Leadership does
2098 not emerge from blind obedience to anyone.&nbsp; Xerox's Barry Rand was right on
2099 target when he warned his people that if you have a yes-man working for you, one
2100 of you is redundant.&nbsp; Good leadership encourages everyone's evolution."--Colin
2101 Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2102 <li>"Never neglect details.&nbsp; When everyone's mind is dulled or distracted
2103 the leader must be doubly vigilant."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2104 presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2105 <li>"Never neglect details.&nbsp; When everyone's mind is dulled or distracted
2106 the leader must be doubly vigilant."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2107 presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2108 <li>&quot;Strategy equals execution.&nbsp; All the
2109 great ideas and visions in the world are worthless if they can't be implemented
2110 rapidly and efficiently.&nbsp; Good leaders delegate and empower others liberally, but
2111 they pay attention to details, every day.&nbsp; (Think about supreme athletic coaches
2112 like Jimmy Johnson, Pat Riley and Tony La Russa).&nbsp; Bad ones, even those who fancy
2113 themselves as progressive 'visionaries', think they're somehow `above'
2114 operational details.&nbsp; Paradoxically, good leaders understand something else: an
2115 obsessive routine in carrying out the details begets conformity and complacency,
2116 which in turn dulls everyone's mind.&nbsp; That is why even as they pay attention to
2117 details, they continually encourage people to challenge the process.&nbsp; They
2118 implicitly understand the sentiment of CEO leaders like Quad Graphic's Harry
2119 Quadracchi, Oticon's Lars Kolind and the late Bill McGowan of MCI, who all
2120 independently asserted that the job of a leader is not to be the chief
2121 organizer, but the chief dis-organizer.&quot;--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2122 presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2123 <li>"You don't know what you can get away with until you try."--Colin
2124 Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2125 <li>"You don't know what you can get away with until you try.&nbsp; You know the
2126 expression, 'it's easier to get forgiveness than permission'.&nbsp; Well, it's true.
2127 Good leaders don't wait for official blessing to try things out. They're
2128 prudent, not reckless.&nbsp; But they also realize a fact of life in most
2129 organizations: if you ask enough people for permission, you'll inevitably come
2130 up against someone who believes his job is to say 'no'. So the moral is, don't
2131 ask.&nbsp; Less effective middle managers endorsed the sentiment, 'If I haven't
2132 explicitly been told <i>yes</i>, I can't do it', whereas the good ones believed,
2133 `If I haven't explicitly been told <i>no</i>, I can.'&nbsp; There's a world of
2134 difference between these two points of view."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2135 presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2136 <li>"Keep looking below surface appearances.&nbsp; Don't shrink from doing so
2137 (just) because you might not like what you find."--Colin Powell, from a
2138 PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2139 <li>"Keep looking below surface appearances.&nbsp; Don't shrink from doing so
2140 (just) because you might not like what you find. 'If it ain't broke, don't fix
2141 it' is the slogan of the complacent, the arrogant or the scared.&nbsp; It's an excuse
2142 for inaction, a call to non-arms.&nbsp; It's a mind-set that assumes (or hopes) that
2143 today's realities will continue tomorrow in a tidy, linear and predictable
2144 fashion.&nbsp; Pure fantasy.&nbsp; In this sort of culture, you won't find people who
2145 pro-actively take steps to solve problems as they emerge.&nbsp; Here's a little tip:
2146 don't invest in these companies."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2147 presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2148 <li>"Organization doesn't really accomplish anything.&nbsp; Plans don't
2149 accomplish anything, either.&nbsp; Theories of management don't much matter.&nbsp;
2150 Endeavors
2151 succeed or fail because of the people involved.&nbsp; Only by attracting the best
2152 people will you accomplish great deeds."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2153 presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2154 <li>"Organization doesn't really accomplish anything.&nbsp; Plans don't
2155 accomplish anything, either.&nbsp; Theories of management don't much matter.&nbsp;
2156 Endeavors
2157 succeed or fail because of the people involved.&nbsp; Only by attracting the best
2158 people will you accomplish great deeds.&nbsp; In a brain-based economy, your
2159 best assets are people.&nbsp; We've heard this expression so often that it's become
2160 trite.&nbsp; But how many leaders really 'walk the talk' with this stuff?&nbsp; Too often,
2161 people are assumed to be empty chess pieces to be moved around by grand viziers,
2162 which may explain why so many top managers immerse their calendar time in deal
2163 making, restructuring and the latest management fad.&nbsp; How many immerse themselves
2164 in the goal of creating an environment where the best, the brightest, the most
2165 creative are attracted, retained and, most importantly, unleashed?"--Colin
2166 Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2167 <li>"Organization charts and fancy titles count for next to nothing."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation,
2168 <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2169 <li>"Organization charts and fancy titles count for next to nothing.&nbsp; Organization charts are frozen, anachronistic photos in a work place that ought
2170 to be as dynamic as the external environment around you.&nbsp; If people really
2171 followed organization charts, companies would collapse.&nbsp; In well-run
2172 organizations, titles are also pretty meaningless.&nbsp; At best, they advertise some
2173 authority, an official status conferring the ability to give orders and induce
2174 obedience.&nbsp; But titles mean little in terms of real power, which is the capacity
2175 to influence and inspire.&nbsp; Have you ever noticed that people will personally
2176 commit to certain individuals who on paper (or on the organization chart)
2177 possess little authority, but instead possess pizzazz, drive, expertise, and
2178 genuine caring for teammates and products?&nbsp; On the flip side, non-leaders in
2179 management may be formally anointed with all the perks and frills associated
2180 with high positions, but they have little influence on others, apart from their
2181 ability to extract minimal compliance to minimal standards."--Colin Powell,
2182 from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2183 <li>"Never let your ego get so close to your position that when your
2184 position goes, your ego goes with it."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2185 presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2186 <li>"Never let your ego get so close to your position that when your
2187 position goes, your ego goes with it.&nbsp; Too often, change is stifled by people who
2188 cling to familiar turfs and job descriptions.&nbsp; One reason that even large
2189 organizations wither is that managers won't challenge old, comfortable ways of
2190 doing things.&nbsp; But real leaders understand that, nowadays, every one of our jobs
2191 is becoming obsolete.&nbsp; The proper response is to obsolete our activities before
2192 someone else does.&nbsp; Effective leaders create a climate where people's worth is
2193 determined by their willingness to learn new skills and grab new
2194 responsibilities, thus perpetually reinventing their jobs.&nbsp; The most important
2195 question in performance evaluation becomes not, 'How well did you perform your
2196 job since the last time we met?' but, 'How much did you change it?'--Colin
2197 Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2198 <li>"Fit no stereotypes.&nbsp; Don't chase the latest management fads.&nbsp; The
2199 situation dictates which approach best accomplishes the team's mission."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation,
2200 <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2201 <li>"Fit no stereotypes.&nbsp; Don't chase the latest management fads.&nbsp; The
2202 situation dictates which approach best accomplishes the team's mission.&nbsp; Flitting
2203 from fad to fad creates team confusion, reduces the leader's credibility, and
2204 drains organizational coffers.&nbsp; Blindly following a particular fad generates
2205 rigidity in thought and action.&nbsp; Sometimes speed to market is more important than
2206 total quality.&nbsp; Sometimes an unapologetic directive is more appropriate than
2207 participatory discussion.&nbsp; Some situations require the leader to hover closely;
2208 others require long, loose leashes.&nbsp; Leaders honor their core values, but they
2209 are flexible in how they execute them.&nbsp; They understand that management
2210 techniques are not magic mantras but simply tools to be reached for at the right
2211 times."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2212 <li>"Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier."--Colin Powell, from a
2213 PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2214 <li>"Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.&nbsp; The ripple effect of a
2215 leader's enthusiasm and optimism is awesome.&nbsp; So is the impact of cynicism and
2216 pessimism.&nbsp; Leaders who whine and blame engender those same behaviors among their
2217 colleagues.&nbsp; I am not talking about stoically accepting organizational stupidity
2218 and performance incompetence with a 'what, me worry?' smile.&nbsp; I am talking about
2219 a gung-ho attitude that says 'we can change things here, we can achieve awesome
2220 goals, we can be the best.'&nbsp; Spare me the grim litany of the 'realist', give me
2221 the unrealistic aspirations of the optimist any day."--Colin Powell, from a
2222 PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2223 <li>"Powell's Rules for Picking People:&nbsp; Look for intelligence and
2224 judgment, and most critically, a capacity to anticipate, to see around corners.&nbsp;
2225 Also look for loyalty, integrity, a high energy drive, a balanced ego, and the
2226 drive to get things done."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership
2227 Primer</i></li>
2228 <li>"Powell's Rules for Picking People:&nbsp; Look for intelligence and
2229 judgment, and most critically, a capacity to anticipate, to see around corners.&nbsp;
2230 Also look for loyalty, integrity, a high energy drive, a balanced ego, and the
2231 drive to get things done.&nbsp; How often do our recruitment and hiring processes tap
2232 into these attributes?&nbsp; More often than not, we ignore them in favor of length of
2233 resume, degrees and prior titles.&nbsp; A string of job descriptions a recruit held
2234 yesterday seem to be more important than who one is today, what they can
2235 contribute tomorrow, or how well their values mesh with those of the
2236 organization.&nbsp; You can train a bright, willing novice in the fundamentals of your
2237 business fairly readily, but it's a lot harder to train someone to have
2238 integrity, judgment, energy, balance, and the drive to get things done.&nbsp; Good
2239 leaders stack the deck in their favor right in the recruitment phase."--Colin
2240 Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2241 <li>"Great leaders are almost always great simplifiers, who can cut
2242 through argument, debate and doubt, to offer a solution everybody can
2243 understand."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership
2244 Primer</i></li>
2245 <li>"Great leaders are almost always great simplifiers, who can cut
2246 through argument, debate and doubt, to offer a solution everybody can
2247 understand.&nbsp; Effective leaders understand the KISS principle, Keep It Simple,
2248 Stupid.&nbsp; They articulate vivid, over-arching goals and values, which they use to
2249 drive daily behaviors and choices among competing alternatives.&nbsp; Their visions
2250 and priorities are lean and compelling, not cluttered and buzzword-laden.&nbsp; Their
2251 decisions are crisp and clear, not tentative and ambiguous.&nbsp; They convey an
2252 unwavering firmness and consistency in their actions, aligned with the picture
2253 of the future they paint.&nbsp; The result: clarity of purpose, credibility of
2254 leadership, and integrity in organization."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2255 presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2256 <li>"Part I:&nbsp; 'Use the formula P=40 to 70, in which P stands for the
2257 probability of success and the numbers indicate the percentage of information
2258 acquired.'&nbsp; Part II: 'Once the information is in the 40 to 70 range, go with your
2259 gut'."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2260 <li>"Part I:&nbsp; 'Use the formula P=40 to 70, in which P stands for the
2261 probability of success and the numbers indicate the percentage of information
2262 acquired.'&nbsp; Part II: 'Once the information is in the 40 to 70 range, go with your
2263 gut.'&nbsp; Don't take action if you have only enough information to give you less
2264 than a 40 percent chance of being right, but don't wait until you have enough
2265 facts to be 100 percent sure, because by then it is almost always too late.&nbsp;
2266 Today, excessive delays in the name of information-gathering breeds
2267 'analysis
2268 paralysis.'&nbsp; Procrastination in the name of reducing risk actually increases
2269 risk."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2270 <li>"The commander in the field is always right and the rear echelon is
2271 wrong, unless proved otherwise."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2272 presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2273 <li>"The commander in the field is always right and the rear echelon is
2274 wrong, unless proved otherwise.&nbsp; Too often, the reverse defines corporate
2275 culture.&nbsp; This is one of the main reasons why leaders like Ken Iverson of Nucor
2276 Steel, Percy Barnevik of Asea Brown Boveri, and Richard Branson of Virgin have
2277 kept their corporate staffs to a bare-bones minimum--how about fewer than 100
2278 central corporate staffers for global $30 billion-plus ABB?&nbsp; Or around 25 and
2279 3 for multi-billion Nucor and Virgin, respectively?&nbsp; Shift the power and the
2280 financial accountability to the folks who are bringing in the beans, not the
2281 ones who are counting or analyzing them."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2282 presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2283 <li>"Have fun in your command.&nbsp; Don't always run at a breakneck pace.&nbsp;
2284 Take
2285 leave when you've earned it:&nbsp; Spend time with your families.&nbsp; Corollary: surround
2286 yourself with people who take their work seriously, but not themselves, those
2287 who work hard and play hard."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership
2288 Primer</i></li>
2289 <li>"Have fun in your command.&nbsp; Don't always run at a breakneck pace.&nbsp;
2290 Take
2291 leave when you've earned it:&nbsp; Spend time with your families.&nbsp; Corollary: surround
2292 yourself with people who take their work seriously, but not themselves, those
2293 who work hard and play hard.&nbsp; Herb Kelleher of Southwest Air and Anita Roddick of
2294 The Body Shop would agree: seek people who have some balance in their lives, who
2295 are fun to hang out with, who like to laugh (at themselves, too) and who have
2296 some non-job priorities which they approach with the same passion that they do
2297 their work.&nbsp; Spare me the grim workaholic or the pompous pretentious
2298 'professional'; I'll help them find jobs with my competitor."--Colin Powell,
2299 from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2300 <li>"Command is lonely."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership
2301 Primer</i> (quote probably from Truman)</li>
2302 <li>"Command is lonely.&nbsp; Harry Truman was right.&nbsp; Whether you're a CEO or
2303 the temporary head of a project team, the buck stops here.&nbsp; You can encourage
2304 participative management and bottom-up employee involvement, but ultimately the
2305 essence of leadership is the willingness to make the tough, unambiguous choices
2306 that will have an impact on the fate of the organization.&nbsp; I've seen too many
2307 non-leaders flinch from this responsibility.&nbsp; Even as you create an informal,
2308 open, collaborative corporate culture, prepare to be lonely."--Colin Powell,
2309 from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2310 <li>"Leadership is the art of accomplishing more than the science of
2311 management says is possible."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership
2312 Primer</i></li>
2313 </ul>
2314 <p><b><u>Note:</u></b>&nbsp; Colin Powell's presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i>,
2315 is available as a .ZIP'd PowerPoint presentation <a href="../../authindiv/dtashley/bad_management/powellonleadership.zip">here</a>.</p>
2316 <hr>
2317 <p><b><u><a name="politfig_dan_quayle"></a>Political Figures, Dan Quayle</u></b></p>
2318 <ul>
2319 <li>"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment.&nbsp; It's the
2320 impurities in our air and water that are doing it."--Former U.S.
2321 Vice-president Dan Quayle</li>
2322 <li>"I love California.&nbsp; I practically grew up in Phoenix."--Former U.S.
2323 Vice-president Dan Quayle</li>
2324 <li>"The loss of life will be irreplaceable."--Former U.S.
2325 Vice-president Dan Quayle</li>
2326 <li>"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have
2327 is that I didn't study my Latin harder in school so I could converse with those
2328 people."--Former U.S. Vice-president Dan Quayle</li>
2329 <li>"Hawaii is a unique state.&nbsp; It is a small state.&nbsp; It is a state that is
2330 by itself.&nbsp; It is different from the other 49 states.&nbsp; Well, all states are
2331 different, but it's got a particularly unique situation."--Former U.S.
2332 Vice-president Dan Quayle</li>
2333 </ul>
2334 <hr>
2335 <p><b><u><a name="politfig_ronald_reagan"></a>Political Figures, Ronald Reagan</u></b></p>
2336 <ul>
2337 <li>"I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked
2338 like if Moses had run them through the U.S. Congress."--Former U.S. President
2339 Ronald Reagan</li>
2340 </ul>
2341 <hr>
2342 <p><b><u><a name="polit_polit_doubletalk"></a>Politics, Political Doubletalk,
2343 Doubletalk</u></b></p>
2344 <ul>
2345 <li>"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of
2346 people."--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor</li>
2347 <li>"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."--Keppel
2348 Enderbery</li>
2349 <li>"If you let that sort of thing go on, your bread and butter will be
2350 cut right out from under your feet."--Former British foreign minister, Ernest
2351 Bevin</li>
2352 <li>"I have opinions of my own ... strong opinions ... but I don't always
2353 agree with them."--George Bush, former U.S President</li>
2354 <li>"We have to pause and ask ourselves how much clean air do we need?"--Lee
2355 Iacocca, former CEO, Chrysler Corp</li>
2356 <li>"I was provided with additional input that was radically different
2357 from the truth.&nbsp; I assisted in furthering that version."--Colonel Oliver North,
2358 from his Iran-Contra testimony</li>
2359 <li>"I haven't committed a crime.&nbsp; What I did was fail to comply with the
2360 law."--David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, (answering accusations that he
2361 failed to pay his taxes)</li>
2362 <li>"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates
2363 in the country."--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC</li>
2364 <li>"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."--Former French
2365 President Charles De Gaulle</li>
2366 <li>"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass,
2367 and I'm just the one to do it."--A congressional candidate in Texas</li>
2368 </ul>
2369 <hr>
2370 <p><b><u><a name="religion"></a>Religion</u></b></p>
2371 <ul>
2372 <li>"Absolute faith corrupts as absolutely as absolute power."--Eric Hoffer (1902 - 1983)
2373 </li>
2374 <li>"I contend we are both atheists, I just believe in one fewer god than you do.&nbsp;
2375 When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss
2376 yours."-- Stephen F. Roberts
2377 </li>
2378 <li>"It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save
2379 us."--Peter De Vries, novelist (1910-1993)
2380 </li>
2381 <li>"There are only two kinds of men: the righteous who believe themselves sinners;
2382 and the sinners who believe themselves righteous.--Blaise Pascal, philosopher and mathematician (1623-1662)
2383 </li>
2384 <li>"Moral certainty is always a sign of cultural inferiority.&nbsp; The more uncivilized the man,
2385 the surer he is that he knows precisely what is right and what is wrong.&nbsp;
2386 All human progress, even in morals, has been the work of men who have doubted the current moral values,
2387 not of men who have whooped them up and tried to enforce them.&nbsp; The truly civilized man is
2388 always skeptical and tolerant, in this field as in all others.&nbsp; His culture is based on
2389 'I am not too sure.'"-- H.L.Mencken, author (1880 - 1956)
2390 </li>
2391 <li>"Conceit is God's gift to little men."--Bruce Barton
2392 </li>
2393 <li>"To surrender to ignorance and call it God has always been premature, and it
2394 remains premature today."-- Isaac Asimov, author (1920 - 1992)
2395 </li>
2396 <li>"With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil
2397 things.&nbsp; But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion."-- Steven Weinberg (1933 - ),
2398 quoted in The New York Times, April 20, 1999
2399 </li>
2400 <li>"A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes."--James Feibleman
2401 </li>
2402 <li>"A superstition is a premature explanation that overstays its time."--George Iles
2403 </li>
2404 <li>"The divinity of Jesus is made a convenient cover for absurdity.&nbsp; Nowhere in the Gospels do we
2405 find a precept for Creeds, Confessions, Oaths, Doctrines, and whole carloads of other
2406 foolish trumpery that we find in Christianity."--John Adams (1735 -1826)
2407 </li>
2408 <li>"I do not find in orthodox Christianity one redeeming feature."--Thomas Jefferson (1743 -1826)
2409 </li>
2410 <li>"I have recently been examining all the known superstitions of the world, and do not find in
2411 our particular superstition (Christianity) one redeeming feature.&nbsp; They are all alike
2412 founded on fables and mythology."--Thomas Jefferson (1743 -1826)
2413 </li>
2414 <li>"The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being as his Father,
2415 in the womb of a virgin will be classified with the fable of the generation
2416 of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter.&nbsp; But we may hope that the dawn of reason
2417 and freedom of thought in these United States will do away with this
2418 artificial scaffolding and restore to us the primitive and genuine doctrines
2419 of this most venerated Reformer of human errors."--Thomas Jefferson (1743 -1826)
2420 </li>
2421 <li>"The Bible is not my book, and Christianity is not my religion.&nbsp; I could never give
2422 assent to the long, complicated statements of Christian
2423 dogma."--Abraham Lincoln (1809 -1865)
2424 </li>
2425 <li>"As to Jesus of Nazareth ... I think the system of Morals and his Religion,
2426 as he left them to us, the best the World ever saw or is likely to see; but I apprehend it
2427 has received various corrupting Changes, and I have, with most of the present
2428 Dissenters in England, some doubts as to his divinity."--Benjamin Franklin (1706 -1790)
2429 </li>
2430 <li>"The study of theology, as it stands in the Christian churches, is the study of nothing;
2431 it is founded on nothing; it rests on no principles; it proceeds by no authority; it has no data;
2432 it can demonstrate nothing; and it admits of no conclusion."--Thomas Paine (1737 -1809)
2433 </li>
2434 <li>"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason,
2435 and intellect has intended us to forgo their use."--Galileo Galilei, physicist and astronomer (1564-1642)
2436 </li>
2437 <li>"There was a time when religion ruled the world.&nbsp; It is known as the Dark
2438 Ages."--Ruth Hermence Green
2439 </li>
2440 <li>"We are taught to believe that there's an invisible man who lives in the sky,
2441 who has a list of 10 things he doesn't want you to do,
2442 who watches you every minute of every day, and if you do something he doesn't like,
2443 he's going to send you to a burning lake of fire ... forever.&nbsp; But He loves you.--George Carlin
2444 </li>
2445 <li>"To teach superstitions as truth is a most terrible thing."--Hypatia
2446 </li>
2447 <li>"If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it
2448 to."--Dorothy Parker - poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
2449 </li>
2450 <li>"I read the whole of the Bible, and apply common sense to it.&nbsp; Sorry to be so boring.&nbsp;
2451 Something which is said several thousand times (e.g. God is worried about the poor)
2452 I regard as more important than something which is said once (e.g. God thinks being gay
2453 incurs ritual pollution) or never (e.g. God doesn't approve of abortion).&nbsp; If
2454 I understand them correctly, the fundamentalists take the opposite approach:
2455 abortion is the most important issue, homosexuality the second most important,
2456 and feeding the poor doesn't matter at all."--Andrew Rilstone (Andrew@aslan.demon.co.uk)
2457 </li>
2458 <li>"Had I been present at the creation, I would have given some useful hints for the better
2459 ordering of the universe."--Alphonso the Wise (1221-1284)
2460 </li>
2461 <li>"What religion are you afflicted with?"--Unknown
2462 </li>
2463 <li>"Morality is the best of all devices for leading mankind by the nose."--Frederick Nietzsche, philosopher (1844-1900)
2464 </li>
2465 <li>"Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious
2466 conviction."--Blaise Pascal, philosopher, mathematician (1623-1662)
2467 </li>
2468 <li>"I do not pretend to be able to prove that there is no God.&nbsp; I equally cannot
2469 prove that Satan is a fiction.&nbsp; The Christian God may exist; so
2470 may the Gods of Olympus, or of ancient Egypt, or of Babylon.&nbsp; But no one of these
2471 hypotheses is more probable than any other: they lie outside the
2472 region of probable knowledge, and therefore there is no reason to consider any of
2473 them."--Lord Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)
2474 </li>
2475 <li>"The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose."--William Shakespeare, poet and dramatist (1564-1616)
2476 </li>
2477 <li>"Religion is an insult to human dignity.&nbsp; With or without it, you'd have good people doing
2478 good things and evil people doing bad things, but for good people to do bad things, it takes
2479 religion."--Steven Weinberg, physicist, Nobel Laureate (1933-)
2480 </li>
2481 <li>"Man is a marvelous curiosity ... he thinks he is the Creator's pet; he even believes the Creator loves him;
2482 has a passion for him; sits up nights to admire him; yes and watch over him and keep him out of
2483 trouble.&nbsp; He prays to him and thinks He listens.&nbsp; Isn't it a quaint idea."--Mark Twain,
2484 author and humorist (1835-1910)
2485 </li>
2486 <li>"One of the proofs of the immortality of the soul is that myriads have believed in
2487 it.&nbsp; They have also believed the world was flat."--Mark Twain, author and humorist (1835-1910)
2488 </li>
2489 <li>"I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious - unless
2490 he purposely shut the eyes of his mind and keep them shut by
2491 force."--Mark Twain, author and humorist (1835-1910)
2492 </li>
2493 <li>"Irreverence is another person's disrespect to your god; there isn't any word that tells what your
2494 disrespect to his god is."--Mark Twain, author and humorist (1835-1910)
2495 </li>
2496 <li>"I believe in God, only I spell it Nature."--Frank Lloyd Wright, architect (1867-1959)
2497 </li>
2498 <li>"We are all atheists about most of the gods that humanity has ever believed in.&nbsp; Some
2499 of us just go one god further."--Richard Dawkins, biologist, author, philosopher (1941-)
2500 </li>
2501 <li>"My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed."-Christopher Morley, writer (1890-1957)
2502 </li>
2503 <li>"So many gods, so many creeds, So many paths that wind and wind, While just the art of being kind is
2504 all the sad world needs."--Ella Wheeler Wilcox, poet (1850-1919)
2505 </li>
2506 <li>"No sooner had Jesus knocked over the dragon of superstition that Paul boldly set it on it's legs
2507 again in the name of Jesus."--George Bernard Shaw, writer, Nobel laureate (1856-1950)
2508 </li>
2509 <li>"If God created us in his own image, we have more than reciprocated."--Voltaire, philosopher (1694-1778)
2510 </li>
2511 <li>"If the gods listened to the prayers of men, all humankind would quickly perish since they constantly
2512 pray for many evils to befall one another."--Epicurus, philosopher (c. 341-270 BCE)
2513 </li>
2514 <li>"Nothing is more dreaded than the national government meddling with religion."--John Adams (1797-1801)
2515 </li>
2516 <li>"Faith is the great cop-out, the great excuse to evade the need to think and evaluate evidence.&nbsp; Faith
2517 is belief in spite of, even perhaps because of, the lack of evidence."--Richard Dawkins, biologist, author, philosopher (1941-)
2518 </li>
2519 <li>"Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy."--H. L. Mencken, author (1880 - 1956)
2520 </li>
2521 <li>"Faith is a cop-out.&nbsp; If the only way you can accept an assertion is by faith,
2522 then you are conceding that it can't be taken on its own merits."--Dan Barker, "Losing Faith in Faith", 1992
2523 </li>
2524 <li>"If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?"--Unattributed
2525 </li>
2526 </ul>
2527 <hr>
2528 <p><b><u><a name="sci_mat_marie_curie"></a>Scientists And Mathematicians, Marie
2529 Curie</u></b></p>
2530 <ul>
2531 <li>&quot;Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be
2532 understood.&quot;--Marie Curie</li>
2533 </ul>
2534 <hr>
2535 <p><b><u><a name="sci_mat_edsger_dijkstra"></a>Scientists And Mathematicians, Edsger
2536 Dijkstra</u></b></p>
2537 <ul>
2538 <li>&quot;The question of whether computers can think is just
2539 like the question of whether submarines can swim.&quot;--Edsger W. Dijkstra</li>
2540 </ul>
2541 <hr>
2542 <p><b><u><a name="sci_mat_albert_einstein"></a>Scientists And Mathematicians, Albert
2543 Einstein</u></b></p>
2544 <ul>
2545 <li>&quot;We are all very ignorant, but not all ignorant of the same
2546 things.&quot;--Albert Einstein</li>
2547 <li>"Thus I came -- despite the fact that I was the son of entirely irreligious (Jewish) parents --
2548 to a deep religiosity, which, however, found an abrupt ending at the age of 12.&nbsp; Through the
2549 reading of popular scientific books I soon reached the conviction that much in the stories
2550 of the bible could not be true.&nbsp; The consequence was a positively fanatic
2551 [orgy of] freethinking coupled with the impression that youth is intentionally
2552 being deceived by the state through lies; it was a crushing impression.&nbsp; Suspicion against every
2553 kind of authority grew out of this experience, a skeptical attitude towards the
2554 convictions which were alive in any specific social environment .... I cannot conceive
2555 of a personal God who would directly influence the actions of individuals ..."-- Albert Einstein,
2556 physicist (1879-1955) - August, 1927 -- Einstein Archive 48-380
2557 </li>
2558 <li>"Science without religion is lame.&nbsp; Religion without science is blind."-Albert Einstein, physicist (1879-1955)
2559 at Science, Philosophy and Religion: a Symposium, 1941
2560 </li>
2561
2562 <li>
2563
2564 &quot;
2565
2566 Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.&quot;-- Albert Einstein, physicist (1879 - 1955)
2567 </li>
2568
2569 <li>
2570
2571 &quot;There are only two truly infinite things, the universe and stupidity.&nbsp;
2572 And I am unsure about the universe.&quot;--Albert Einstein, physicist (1879-1955)
2573 </li>
2574
2575 <li>
2576
2577 &quot;What terrifies us is not the explosive force of the atomic bomb, but the power of the wickedness of the human heart.&quot;--Albert Einstein, physicist (1879-1955)
2578 </li>
2579
2580 <li>
2581
2582 &quot;It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.&quot;--Albert Einstein, physicist (1879-1955)
2583 </li>
2584
2585 <li>
2586
2587 &quot;The more I study physics, the more I am drawn to metaphysics.&quot;--Albert Einstein,
2588 physicist (1879-1955)
2589 </li>
2590
2591 <li>
2592
2593 &quot;Definition of Insanity:&nbsp; Endlessly repeating the same process, hoping for a different result."--Albert Einstein
2594 </li>
2595
2596 <li>
2597
2598 &quot;Make things as simple as possible, but not simpler.&quot;--Albert Einstein, physicist (1879-1955)
2599 </li>
2600
2601 <li>
2602
2603 &quot;Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.&quot;--Albert Einstein, physicist (1879-1955)
2604 </li>
2605
2606 </ul>
2607 <hr>
2608 <p><b><u><a name="sci_mat_gh_hardy"></a>Scientists And Mathematicians, G.H.
2609 Hardy</u></b></p>
2610 <ul>
2611 <li>&quot;It is never worth a first class man's time to express a majority
2612 opinion.&nbsp; By definition, there are plenty of others to do that.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2613 <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2614 <li>&quot;For any serious purpose, intelligence is a very minor gift.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2615 <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2616 <li>&quot;Young men ought to be conceited:&nbsp; but they oughtn't to be
2617 imbecile."--G.H. Hardy (according to C.P. Snow in the foreword of <i>A
2618 Mathematician's Apology</i>, said after someone had tried to
2619 convince Hardy that <i>Finnegans Wake</i> was the final literary masterpiece.)</li>
2620 <li>&quot;Sometimes one has to say difficult things, but one ought to say them
2621 as simply as one knows how.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2622 <li>&quot;Statesmen despise publicists, painters despise art-critics, and
2623 physiologists, physicists, or mathematicians have usually similar feelings;
2624 there is no scorn more profound, or on the whole more justifiable, than that of
2625 the men who make for the men who explain.&nbsp; Exposition, criticism, appreciation,
2626 is work for second-rate minds.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2627 <li>&quot;... There is no one so stupid as to use this sort of language
2628 about mathematics.&nbsp; The mass of mathematical truth is obvious and imposing; its
2629 practical applications, the bridges and the steam engines and dynamos, obtrude
2630 themselves on the dullest imagination.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's
2631 Apology</i></li>
2632 <li>&quot;... Some egotism of this sort is inevitable, and I do not feel
2633 that it really needs justification.&nbsp; Good work is not done by 'humble' men.&nbsp;
2634 It is
2635 one of the first duties of a professor, for example, in any subject, to
2636 exaggerate a little both the importance of his subject and his own importance in
2637 it.&nbsp; A man who is always asking 'Is what I do worth while?' and 'Am I the right
2638 person to do it?' will always be ineffective himself and a discouragement to
2639 others.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2640 <li>&quot;... I am not suggesting that this is a defence which can be made
2641 by most people, since most people can do nothing at all well.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2642 <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2643 <li>&quot;... If a man has any genuine talent, he should be ready to make
2644 almost any sacrifice in order to cultivate it to the full.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A
2645 Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2646 <li>&quot;No mathematician should ever allow himself to forget that
2647 mathematics, more than any other art or science, is a young man's game.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2648 <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2649 <li>&quot;I do not know an instance of a major mathematical advance initiated
2650 by a man past fifty.&nbsp; If a man of mature age loses interest in and abandons
2651 mathematics, the loss is not likely to be very serious either for mathematics or
2652 for himself.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2653 <li>&quot;It is quite true that most people can do nothing well.&nbsp; If so, it
2654 matters very little what career they choose, and there is really nothing more to
2655 say about it.&nbsp; It is a conclusive reply, but hardly one likely to be made by a
2656 man with any pride; and I may assume that none of us would be content with
2657 it.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2658 <li>&quot;(Speaking with respect to mathematical achievement) ... What we
2659 do may be small, but it has a certain character of permanence; and to have
2660 produced anything of the slightest permanent interest, whether it be a copy of
2661 verses or a geometrical theorem, is to have done something utterly beyond the
2662 powers of the vast majority of men.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's
2663 Apology</i></li>
2664 <li>&quot;(Speaking with respect to mathematical achievement) ... In these
2665 days of conflict between ancient and modern studies, there must surely be
2666 something to be said for a study which did not begin with Pythagoras, and
2667 will not end with Einstein, but is the oldest and the youngest of
2668 all.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2669 <li>&quot;A man's first duty, a young man's at any rate, is to be
2670 ambitious.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2671 <li>&quot;... We must guard against a fallacy common apologists of
2672 science, the fallacy of supposing that the men whose work benefits humanity are
2673 thinking much of that while they do it ... There are many highly
2674 respectable motives that may lead men to prosecute research, but there are three
2675 which are much more important than the rest.&nbsp; The first (without which the rest
2676 must come to nothing) is intellectual curiosity, desire to know the truth.&nbsp;
2677 Then,
2678 professional pride, anxiety to be satisfied with one's performance, the shame
2679 that overcomes any self-respecting craftsman when his work is unworthy of his
2680 talent.&nbsp; Finally, ambition, desire for reputation, and the position, even the
2681 power or the money, which it brings.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's
2682 Apology</i></li>
2683 <li>&quot;If intellectual curiosity, professional pride, and ambition are the
2684 dominant incentives to research, then assuredly no one has a fairer chance of
2685 gratifying them then a mathematician.&nbsp; His subject is the most curious of
2686 all--there is none in which truth plays such odd pranks.&nbsp; It has the most
2687 elaborate and the most fascinating technique, and gives unrivalled openings for
2688 the display of sheer professional skill.&nbsp; Finally, as history proves abundantly,
2689 mathematical achievement, whatever its intrinsic worth, is the most enduring of
2690 all.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2691 <li>&quot;<i>Immortality</i> may be a silly word, but probably a mathematician
2692 has the best chance of whatever it may mean.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A
2693 Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2694 <li>&quot;... Farey is immortal because he failed to understand a theorem
2695 which Haros had proved perfectly fourteen years before ... But on the whole
2696 the history of science is fair, and this is particularly true in mathematics ...
2697 and the men who are remembered are almost always the men who merit
2698 it.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, pp. 81-82, citing instances
2699 where mathematical history was inaccurate</li>
2700 <li>&quot;It is sometimes suggested, by lawyers or politicians or business
2701 men, that an academic career is one sought mainly by cautious and
2702 unambitious persons who care primarily for comfort and security.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2703 <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p.82</li>
2704 <li>&quot;A mathematician, like a painter or a poet, is a maker of patterns.&nbsp;
2705 If
2706 his patterns are more permanent than theirs, it is because they are made with <i>ideas</i>.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2707 <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p.84</li>
2708 <li>&quot;... Beauty is the first test: there is no permanent place in the
2709 world for ugly mathematics.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p.85</li>
2710 <li>&quot;It may be very hard to <i>define</i> mathematical beauty, but that is
2711 just as true of beauty of any kind--we may not know quite what we mean by a
2712 beautiful poem, but that does not prevent us from recognizing one when we read
2713 it.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2714 <li>&quot;There are, to be sure, individuals for whom mathematics exercises a
2715 coldly impersonal attraction ...&nbsp; The aesthetic appeal of mathematics may be
2716 very real for a chosen few.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, quoting
2717 Hogben, p. 86</li>
2718 <li>&quot;The seriousness of a theorem, of course, does not <i>lie in</i> its
2719 consequences, which are merely the <i>evidence</i> for its seriousness.&nbsp; Shakespeare had an enormous influence on the development of the English
2720 language, Otway next to none, but that is not why Shakespeare was the better
2721 poet.&nbsp; He was the better poet because he wrote much better poetry.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2722 <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p.90</li>
2723 <li>&quot;The number of primes less than 1,000,000,000 is 50,847,478:&nbsp; that is
2724 enough for an engineer, and he can be perfectly happy without the rest.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2725 <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p.102</li>
2726 <li>&quot;Some measure of generality must be present in any high-class theorem,
2727 but <i>too much</i> tends inevitably towards insipidity.&nbsp; 'Everything is what it
2728 is, and not another thing', and the differences between things are quite as
2729 interesting as their resemblances.&nbsp; We do not choose our friends because they
2730 embody all the pleasant qualities of humanity, but because they are the people
2731 that they are.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p. 109</li>
2732 <li>&quot;It seems that mathematical ideas are arranged somehow in strata, the
2733 ideas in each stratum being linked by a complex of relations both among
2734 themselves and with those above and below.&nbsp; The lower the stratum, the deeper
2735 (and in general the more difficult) the idea.&nbsp; Thus the idea of an
2736 'irrational'
2737 is deeper than that of an integer ...&nbsp; Let us concentrate our attention on
2738 the relations between the integers, or some other group of objects lying in some
2739 particular stratum.&nbsp; Then it may happen that one of these relations can be
2740 comprehended completely, that we can recognize and prove, for example, some
2741 property of the integers, without any knowledge of the contents of lower strata
2742 ...&nbsp; But there are also many theorems about integers which we cannot
2743 appreciate properly, and still less prove, without digging deeper and
2744 considering what happens below.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, pp. 110-111</li>
2745 <li>&quot;We do not want many 'variations' in the proof of a mathematical
2746 theorem:&nbsp; 'enumeration of cases', indeed, is one of the duller forms of
2747 mathematical argument.&nbsp; A mathematical proof should resemble a simple and
2748 clear-cut constellation, not a scattered cluster in the Milky Way.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2749 <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p. 113</li>
2750 <li>&quot;It is sometimes suggested that pure mathematicians glory in the
2751 uselessness of their work, and make it a boast that it has no practical
2752 applications.&nbsp; The imputation is usually based on an incautious saying attributed
2753 to Gauss, to the effect that, if mathematics is the queen of the sciences, the
2754 the theory of numbers is, because of its supreme uselessness, the queen of
2755 mathematics--I have never been able to find an exact quotation.&nbsp; I am sure that
2756 Gauss's saying (if indeed it be his) has been rather crudely misinterpreted.&nbsp;
2757 If
2758 the theory of numbers could be employed for any practical and obviously
2759 honourable purpose, if it could be turned directly to the furtherance of human
2760 happiness of the relief of human suffering, as physiology and even chemistry
2761 can, the surely neither Gauss nor any other mathematician would have been so
2762 foolish as to decry or regret such applications.&nbsp; But science works for evil as
2763 well as for good (and particularly, of course in time of war); and both Gauss
2764 and lesser mathematicians may be justified in rejoicing that there is one
2765 science at any rate, and that their own, whose very remoteness from ordinary
2766 human activities should keep it gentle and clean.&quot;G.H. Hardy, <i>A
2767 Mathematician's Apology</i>, pp. 120-121</li>
2768 <li>&quot;I began by saying that there is probably less difference between the
2769 positions of a mathematician and of a physicist than is generally supposed, and
2770 that the most important seems to me to be this, that the mathematician is in
2771 much more direct contact with reality ... mathematical objects are so much
2772 more what they seem.&nbsp; A chair or a star is not in the least like what it seems to
2773 be; the more we think of it, the fuzzier its outlines become in the haze of
2774 sensation which surround it; but '2' or '317' has nothing to do with sensation,
2775 and its properties stand out the more clearly the more closely we scrutinize
2776 it.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, pp. 128-130</li>
2777 <li>&quot;It is the dull and elementary parts of applied mathematics, as it is
2778 the dull and elementary parts of pure mathematics, that work for good or ill.&nbsp;
2779 Time may change all this.&nbsp; No one foresaw the applications of matrices and groups
2780 and other purely mathematical theories to modern physics, and it may be that
2781 some of the 'highbrow' applied mathematics will become 'useful' in as unexpected
2782 a way;&nbsp; but the evidence so far points to the conclusion that, in one subject as
2783 in the other, it is what is commonplace and dull that counts for practical
2784 life.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p.132. (Written
2785 around 1940, this was an uncanny precursor to nuclear weaponry.)</li>
2786 <li>&quot;There is one comforting conclusion which is easy for a real
2787 mathematician.&nbsp; Real mathematics has no effects on war.&nbsp; No one has yet discovered
2788 any warlike purpose to be served by the theory of numbers or relativity, and it
2789 seems unlikely that anyone will do so for many years.&nbsp; It is true that there are
2790 branches of applied mathematics, such as ballistics and aerodynamics, which have
2791 been developed deliberately for war and demand a quite elaborate technique: it
2792 is perhaps hard to call them 'trivial', but none of them has any claim to rank
2793 as 'real'.&nbsp; They are indeed repulsively ugly and intolerably dull; even
2794 Littlewood could not make ballistics respectable, and if he could not who
2795 can?&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p. 140. (Written
2796 around 1940, this was an uncanny precursor to nuclear weaponry.&nbsp; Also, Snow
2797 writes in the foreword, pp. 39-40, &quot;Hardy's close friends were away at the
2798 war.&nbsp; Littlewood was doing ballistics as a Second Lieutenant in the Royal
2799 Artillery.&nbsp; Owing to his cheerful indifference he had the distinction of
2800 remaining a Second Lieutenant through the four years of the war.&quot;)</li>
2801 <li>&quot;... there are two sharply contrasted views about modern
2802 scientific war.&nbsp; The first and the most obvious is that the effect of science on
2803 war is merely to magnify its horror, both by increasing the sufferings of the
2804 minority who have to fight and by extending them to other classes.&nbsp; This is the
2805 most natural and the orthodox view.&nbsp; But there is a very different view which
2806 seems also quite tenable, and which has been stated with great force by Haldane
2807 in <i>Callinicus</i>.&nbsp; It can be maintained that modern warfare is <i>less</i>
2808 horrible than the warfare of pre-scientific times;&nbsp; the bombs are probably more
2809 merciful than bayonets;&nbsp; that lachrymatory gas and mustard gas are perhaps the
2810 most humane weapons yet devised by military science;&nbsp; and that the orthodox view
2811 rests solely on loose-thinking sentimentalism.&nbsp; It may also be urged (although
2812 this was not one of Haldane's theses) that the equalization of risks which
2813 science was expected to bring would be in the long run salutary;&nbsp; that a
2814 civilian's wife is not worth more than a soldier's, nor a woman's more than a
2815 man's;&nbsp; that anything is better than the concentration of savagery on one
2816 particular class;&nbsp; and that, in short, the sooner the war comes 'all out' the
2817 better.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p. 142</li>
2818 <li>&quot;When the world is mad, a mathematician may find in mathematics an
2819 incomparable anodyne.&nbsp; For mathematics is, of all the arts and sciences, the most
2820 austere and the most remote, and a mathematician should be for all men the one
2821 who can most easily take refuge where, as Bertrand Russell says, 'one at least
2822 of our nobler impulese can best escape from the dreary exile of the actual
2823 world'.&nbsp; It is a pity that is should be necessary to make one very serious
2824 reservation--he must not be too old.&nbsp; Mathematics is not a contemplative but a
2825 creative subject; no one can draw much consolation from it when he has lost the
2826 power or the desire to create; and that is apt to happen to a mathematician
2827 rather soon.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p. 143</li>
2828 <li>&quot;I cannot remember ever having wanted to be anything but a
2829 mathematician.&nbsp; I suppose that it was always clear that my specific abilities lay
2830 that way, and it never occurred to me to question the verdict of my elders.&nbsp;
2831 I do
2832 not remember having felt, as a boy, any <i>passion</i> for mathematics, and such
2833 notions as I may have had of the career of a mathematician were far from noble.&nbsp;
2834 I thought of mathematics in terms of examinations and scholarships:&nbsp; I wanted to
2835 beat other boys, and this seemed to be the way in which I could do so most
2836 decisively.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p. 144</li>
2837 <li>&quot;I had of course found at school, as every future mathematician does,
2838 that I could often do things much better than my teachers; and even at Cambridge
2839 I found, though naturally much less frequently, that I could sometimes do things
2840 better than the College lecturers.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's
2841 Apology</i>, p. 146-147</li>
2842 <li>&quot;It is plain now that my life, for what it is worth, is finished, and
2843 that nothing I can do can perceptibly increase or diminish its value.&nbsp; It is very
2844 difficult to be dispassionate, but I count it as a 'success';&nbsp; I have had more
2845 reward and not less than was due to a man of my particular grade of ability.&nbsp;
2846 I have held a series of comfortable and 'dignified' positions.&nbsp; I have had very
2847 little trouble with the duller routine of universities.&nbsp; I hate 'teaching', and
2848 have had to do very little, such teaching as I have done having been almost
2849 entirely supervision of research;&nbsp; I love lecturing, and have lectured a great
2850 deal to extremely able classes;&nbsp; and I have always had plenty of leisure for the
2851 researches which have been the one great permanent happiness of my life.&nbsp; I have
2852 found it easy to work with others, and have collaborated on a large scale with
2853 two exceptional mathematicians; and this has enabled me to add to mathematics a
2854 good deal more than I could reasonably have expected.&nbsp; I have had my
2855 disappointments, like any other mathematician, but none of them has been too
2856 serious or has made me particularly unhappy.&nbsp; If I had been offered a life
2857 neither better nor worse when I was twenty, I would have accepted without
2858 hesitation.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p. 149</li>
2859 <li>&quot;My choice was right, then, if what I wanted was a reasonably
2860 comfortable and happy life.&nbsp; But solicitors and stockbrokers and bookmakers often
2861 lead comfortable and happy lives, and it is very difficult to see how the world
2862 is richer for their existence.&nbsp; Is there any sense in which I can claim that my
2863 life has been less futile than theirs?&nbsp; It seems to me again that there is only
2864 one possible answer: yes, perhaps, but, if so, for one reason only.&nbsp; I have never
2865 done anything 'useful'.&nbsp; No discovery of mine has made, or is likely to make,
2866 directly or indirectly, for good or ill, the least difference to the amenity of
2867 the world.&nbsp; I have helped to train other mathematicians, but mathematicians of
2868 the same kind as myself, and their work has been, so far at any rate as I have
2869 helped them to it, as useless as my own.&nbsp; Judged by all practical standards, the
2870 value of my mathematical life is nil; and outside mathematics it is trivial
2871 anyhow.&nbsp; I have just one chance of escaping a verdict of complete triviality,
2872 that I may be judged to have created something worth creating.&nbsp; And that I have
2873 created something is undeniable: the question is about its value.&nbsp; The case for
2874 my life, then, or for that of any one else who has been a mathematician in the
2875 same sense in which I have been one, is this: that I have added something to
2876 knowledge, and helped others to add more; and that these somethings have a value
2877 which differs in degree only, and not in kind, from that of the creations of the
2878 great mathematicians, or of any of the other artists, great or small, who have
2879 left some kind of memorial behind them.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's
2880 Apology</i>, pp. 150-151</li>
2881 </ul>
2882 <p><b><u>Note:</u></b>&nbsp; As of May 11, 2003, Hardy's book, <i>A
2883 Mathematician's Apology</i>, is <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0521427061/qid=1052633115/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/102-8561334-0224108?v=glance&amp;s=books">available
2884 new from Amazon</a> for $11.90.&nbsp; Also as of May 11, 2003, there are <a href="http://half.ebay.com/cat/buy/prod.cgi?cpid=2943234&amp;meta_id=1">5
2885 copies available at Half.com</a> for as low as $6.12.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p>
2886 <hr>
2887 <p><b><u><a name="sci_mat_james_s_harris"></a>Scientists And Mathematicians, James S.
2888 Harris</u></b></p>
2889 <ul>
2890 <li>&quot;My peers are Gauss and Euler, not ANY of you.&quot;--James S. Harris, as
2891 the <i> SUBJ</i> field in a <i>sci.math</i> newsgroup post dated July 4, 2002</li>
2892 </ul>
2893 <hr>
2894 <p><b><u><a name="sci_mat_bertrand_russell"></a>Scientists And Mathematicians, Bertrand
2895 Russell</u></b></p>
2896 <ul>
2897 <li>&quot;One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief
2898 that one's work is terribly important.&quot;--Bertrand Russell</li>
2899 </ul>
2900 <hr>
2901 <p><b><u><a name="sci_mat_carl_sagan"></a>Scientists And Mathematicians, Carl
2902 Sagan</u></b></p>
2903 <ul>
2904 <li>&quot;One of the great commandments of science is:&nbsp; 'Mistrust arguments from
2905 authority.'&quot;--Carl Sagan</li>
2906 <li>&quot;Look again at that dot.&nbsp; That's here.&nbsp; That's home.&nbsp; That's us.&nbsp;
2907 On it
2908 everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human
2909 being who ever was, lived out their lives.&nbsp; The aggregate of our joy and
2910 suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines,
2911 every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of
2912 civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother
2913 and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every
2914 corrupt politician, every 'superstar', every 'supreme leader', every saint and
2915 sinner in the history of our species lived here--on a mote of dust suspended in
2916 a sunbeam.&quot;--Carl Sagan, precise source unknown</li>
2917 <li>&quot;The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena.&nbsp; Think of the rivers
2918 of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and
2919 triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot.&nbsp; Think
2920 of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel
2921 on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent
2922 their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent
2923 their hatreds.&quot;--Carl Sagan, precise source unknown</li>
2924 <li>&quot;Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some
2925 privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light.&nbsp;
2926 Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark.&nbsp; In our
2927 obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from
2928 elsewhere to save us from ourselves.&quot;--Carl Sagan, precise source unknown</li>
2929 <li>&quot;The Earth is the only world known so far to harbor life.&nbsp; There is nowhere
2930 else, at least not in the near future, to which our species could migrate.&nbsp;
2931 Visit, yes.&nbsp; Settle, not yet.&nbsp; Like it or not, for the moment the Earth is where we
2932 make our stand.&quot;--Carl Sagan, precise source unknown</li>
2933 <li>&quot;It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building
2934 experience.&nbsp; There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human
2935 conceits than this distant image of our tiny world.&nbsp; To me, it underscores our
2936 responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish
2937 the pale blue dot, the only home we've ever known."--Carl Sagan, <i>Pale
2938 Blue Dot</i>, publication details unknown</li>
2939
2940 <li>
2941
2942 &quot;
2943
2944 If you wish to make an apple pie truly from scratch, you must first invent the universe.&quot;-- Carl
2945 Sagan, astronomer, author (1934-1996)
2946 </li>
2947
2948 </ul>
2949 <hr>
2950 <p><b><u><a name="software_software_engineering_etc"></a>Software, Software Engineering,
2951 Etc.</u></b></p>
2952 <ul>
2953 <li>&quot;Can
2954 someone give a hint on how many lines of code a programmer can produce a day?&nbsp;
2955 I
2956 know that this depends on the language, etc., but I'm most interested in C/C++.&nbsp;
2957 On my most productive single day, the program I was working on had 3000 fewer
2958 lines than it did when I started.&quot;--quote which Dan Parks got from a newsgroup, source
2959 unknown</li>
2960 <li>&quot;A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved
2961 from a simple system that worked ... A complex system designed from scratch
2962 never works and cannot be patched up to make it work.&nbsp; You have to start over,
2963 beginning with a working simple system.&quot;--Grady Booch</li>
2964 <li>&quot;The trouble with many Software Engineering principles and methodologies
2965 is they don't concentrate on doing the time-consuming, difficult and error-prone
2966 process of getting the system requirements straightened out--instead relying on
2967 'well defined procedures' which are easy to specify, but don't help
2968 much when trying to understand what a system needs to accomplish--or more
2969 importantly, coaxing a non-technical project lead to devote his/her resources to
2970 spending time with the users.&quot;--Unknown</li>
2971 <li>&quot;I've been developing systems of varying complexity since 1990 and have yet to
2972 hear of a software engineering methodology which improves significantly on the
2973 basic principle of studying what the user needs, organizing it, adapting to
2974 change and implementing--usually in combination.&nbsp; UML isn't much more than a
2975 notational change to the entity/relationship/&quot;flowcharting&quot;/whatever we did a decade ago.&nbsp;
2976 The
2977 CASE tools have marginally improved since, but not markedly.&nbsp; But thats only my
2978 take on it ... no doubt I'm part of the problem.--Unknown</li>
2979 <li>&quot;Frankly, I figure the SEI rating stuff has a half-life of about 4 years, its
2980 got 5 or 6 more before it falls into the dustbin of antiquity.&nbsp; But, its in good
2981 company with TQM and all the other philosophies which aren't dealing with the
2982 hard problems.--<i>Possibly</i> from a book by Steve McConnell entitled <i>After
2983 The Gold Rush</i>, but probably from a review of the book.&nbsp; This quote forwarded to
2984 me by Dan Parks in November 2000.</li>
2985 <li>&quot;You can measure a programmer's perspective by noting his attitude on
2986 the continuing viability of FORTRAN.&quot;--Alan Perlis</li>
2987 <li>&quot;The bitterness of poor quality remains long after the sweetness of
2988 meeting the schedule has been forgotten.&quot;--Anonymous</li>
2989 <li>&quot;Requirements are like water. They're easier to build on when they're
2990 frozen.&quot;--Anonymous</li>
2991 <li>&quot;Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for
2992 the rest of your life.&quot;--Michael Sinz</li>
2993 <li>&quot;Bugs lurk in corners and congregate at boundaries.&quot;--Boris
2994 Beizer, <i>Software Testing Techniques</i></li>
2995 <li>&quot;In programming, it's often the 'buts' in the specification that kill
2996 you.&quot;--Boris Beizer, <i>Software Testing Techniques</i></li>
2997 <li>&quot;Poor management can increase software costs more rapidly than any
2998 other factor.&quot;--Barry Boehm</li>
2999 <li>&quot;It should be noted that no ethically-trained software engineer would
3000 ever consent to write a 'DestroyBaghdad' procedure.&nbsp; Basic professional ethics
3001 would instead require him to write a 'DestroyCity' procedure, to which 'Baghdad'
3002 could be given as a parameter.&quot;--Nathaniel S. Borenstein</li>
3003 <li>&quot;The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts
3004 agree, is by accident.&nbsp; That's where we come in; we're computer professionals.&nbsp;
3005 We
3006 cause accidents.&quot;--Nathaniel S. Borenstein</li>
3007 <li>&quot;Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a
3008 feature.&quot;--Bruce Brown</li>
3009 <li>&quot;The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a
3010 programmer is doing until it's too late.&quot;--Seymour Cray</li>
3011 <li>&quot;There are two ways of constructing a software design:&nbsp; One way is to
3012 make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is
3013 to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies.&nbsp; The first
3014 method is far more difficult.&quot;--C. A. R. Hoare</li>
3015 <li>&quot;Premature optimization is the root of all evil in
3016 programming.&quot;--C.
3017 A. R. Hoare</li>
3018 <li>&quot;Programming can be fun, so can cryptography; however they should not
3019 be combined.&quot;--Kreitzberg and Shneiderman</li>
3020 <li>&quot;The only thing more frightening than a programmer with a screwdriver
3021 or a hardware engineer with a program is a user with a pair of wire cutters and
3022 the root password.&quot;--Elizabeth Zwicky</li>
3023 <li>&quot;Programming without an overall architecture or design in mind is like
3024 exploring a cave with only a flashlight:&nbsp; you don't know where you've been, you
3025 don't know where you're going, and you don't know quite where you
3026 are.&quot;--Danny
3027 Thorpe</li>
3028 <li>&quot;Act in haste and repent at leisure; code too soon and debug
3029 forever.&quot;--Raymond Kennington</li>
3030 <li>&quot;At some point you have to decide whether you're going to be a
3031 politician or an engineer.&nbsp; You cannot be both.&nbsp; To be a politician is to champion
3032 perception over reality.&nbsp; To be an engineer is to make perception subservient to
3033 reality.&nbsp; They are opposites.&nbsp; You can't do both
3034 simultaneously.&quot;--H. W. Kenton</li>
3035 <li>&quot;'Don't fix it if it ain't broke' presupposed that you can't improve
3036 something that works reasonably well already.&nbsp; If the world's inventors had
3037 believed this, we'd still be driving Model A Fords and using
3038 outhouses.&quot;--H.
3039 W. Kenton</li>
3040 <li>&quot;There has never been an unexpectedly short debugging period in the
3041 history of computers.&quot;--Steven Levy</li>
3042 <li>&quot;An interactive debugger is an outstanding example of what is not
3043 needed--it encourages trial-and-error hacking rather than systematic design,
3044 and also hides marginal people barely qualified for precision
3045 programming.&quot;--Harald
3046 Mills</li>
3047 <li>&quot;We try to solve the problem by rushing through the design process so
3048 that enough time is left at the end of the project to uncover the errors that
3049 were made because we rushed through the design process.&quot;--Glenford J. Myers</li>
3050
3051 <li>
3052
3053 &quot;
3054
3055 Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.&quot;-- Frederick P. Brooks, Jr. [The Mythical Man-Month]
3056 </li>
3057
3058 <li>
3059
3060 &quot;
3061
3062 Hofstadter's Law:&nbsp; The time and effort required to complete a project are always more than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.&quot;
3063 </li>
3064
3065 </ul>
3066 <hr>
3067 <p><b><u><a name="sports_and_sports_figures"></a>Sports And Sports Figures</u></b></p>
3068 <ul>
3069 <li>&quot;Big names don't make me weak in the knees.&quot;--Taylor Dent</li>
3070 <li>&quot;The word <i>genius</i> isn't applicable in football.&nbsp; A genius is a
3071 guy like Norman Einstein.&quot;--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback and sports
3072 analyst</li>
3073 <li>&quot;I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my
3074 body.&quot;--Winston Bennett, Univ. of Kentucky basketball forward</li>
3075 <li>&quot;We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.&quot;--Jason Kidd,
3076 upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks</li>
3077 <li>&quot;... the genes almost always accurately reproduce.&nbsp; If they don't,
3078 you get one of the following results:&nbsp; One, monsters--that is, grossly malformed
3079 babies resulting from genetic mistakes.&nbsp; Years ago most monsters died, but now
3080 many can be saved.&nbsp; That has made possible the National Football League."--Cecil
3081 Adams</li>
3082 <li>&quot;Half this game is ninety percent mental.&quot;--Philadelphia Phillies
3083 manager Danny Ozark</li>
3084 </ul>
3085 <hr>
3086 <p><b><u><a name="unpl_wk_sit_bad_bosses_etc"></a>Unpleasant Work Situations, Bad Bosses,
3087 Etc.</u></b></p>
3088 <ul>
3089 <li>&quot;If you're unfortunate enough to have co-workers, you must learn how
3090 to manage them.&nbsp; Otherwise, like so many wildebeests on the plains of the
3091 Serengeti, they will be bumping into you, drinking from your water hole, and
3092 generally kicking up a lot of dust.&nbsp; That will cut into your
3093 happiness.&quot;--Scott
3094 Adams, <i>The Joy Of Work</i>.</li>
3095 <li>&quot;If you can decrease the unpleasantness that you experience at work,
3096 it's almost the same as giving yourself a raise.&quot;--Scott Adams, <i>The Joy
3097 Of Work</i>.</li>
3098 <li>&quot;I have yet to find the man, however exalted his station, who did not
3099 do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than
3100 under a spirit of criticism.&quot;--Charles M. Schwab</li>
3101 </ul>
3102 <hr>
3103 <p><b><u><a name="acknowledgements"></a>Acknowledgements</u></b></p>
3104 <p>Special thanks to Pinar Kondu, Lou Miller, Daniel R. Parks, Jim
3105 Weinfurther and Marilyn A. Ashley
3106 for quotes.</p>
3107 <hr>
3108 <p align="center" style="margin-top: -2; margin-bottom: -1"><font size="1">This
3109 web page is maintained by <a href="mailto:dtashley@users.sourceforge.net">David
3110 T. Ashley</a>.&nbsp; (All donations to this page are welcome, just <a href="mailto:dtashley@users.sourceforge.net">e-mail</a>
3111 them to me.)<br>
3112 Sound
3113 credit: <i>As Good As It Gets</i>.<br>$Header: /cvsroot/esrg/sfesrg/esrgweba/htdocs/devels/quote_farm/quote_farm.htm,v 1.16 2004/04/06 22:32:19 dtashley Exp $</font></p>
3114 <hr noshade size="5">
3115 </body>
3116
3117 </html>

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