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Add quote cited in Crew Resource Management book by Earl L. Wiener, Barbara G. Kanki,
and Robert L. Helmreich.  The citation was (NASA, 2003).  If use this quote, need to
find the NASA item.
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3 <head>
4 <title>The Quote Farm</title>
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10
11 <p align="center"><b><font size="4">The Quote Farm</font></b></p>
12 <hr>
13 <p>Each chapter of the book (a work in progress) begins with a quote.&nbsp; The
14 web page is a staging area for quotes that might potentially be used.&nbsp; The
15 Quote Farm was previously an appendix in the book, but it was removed and placed
16 here, since it will not appear in final revisions of the book.</p>
17 <hr>
18 <p><b><u>Bookmarks (To This Page)</u></b></p>
19 <ul>
20 <li><a href="#accident_investigation">Accident Investigation</a>
21 <li><a href="#attractiveness_female">Attractiveness, Female</a></li>
22 <li><a href="#aviation_and_space" target="_self">Aviation And Space</a></li>
23 <li><a href="#beer" target="_self">Beer</a></li>
24 <li><a href="#capitalism" target="_self">Capitalism</a></li>
25 <li><a href="#celeb_beaut_pag_cont" target="_self">Celebrities, Beauty Pageant
26 Contestants</a></li>
27 <li><a href="#celebrities_brooke_shields" target="_self">Celebrities, Brooke
28 Shields</a></li>
29 <li><a href="#celebrities_mariah_carey" target="_self">Celebrities, Mariah
30 Carey</a></li>
31 <li><a href="#censorship" target="_self">Censorship</a></li>
32 <li><a href="#computers_and_computing" target="_self">Computers And Computing</a></li>
33 <li><a href="#courage" target="_self">Courage</a></li>
34 <li><a href="#freedom_and_civil_liberties" target="_self">Freedom And Civil
35 Liberties</a></li>
36 <li><a href="#general_humor" target="_self">General Humor</a></li>
37 <li><a href="#hard_work" target="_self">Hard Work</a></li>
38 <li><a href="#hum_nat_soc_int" target="_self">Human Nature And Social
39 Interactions</a></li>
40 <li><a href="#histfig_napoleon" target="_self">Historical Figures, Napoleon</a></li>
41 <li><a href="#marriage_fav_manview" target="_self">Marriage (Favorable, From The Man's Point Of
42 View)</a></li>
43 <li><a href="#marriage_unfav_genderless" target="_self">Marriage (Unfavorable,
44 Genderless)</a></li>
45 <li><a href="#marriage_unfav_manview" target="_self">Marriage (Unfavorable, From The Man's Point Of
46 View)</a></li>
47 <li><a href="#microsoft" target="_self">Microsoft</a></li>
48 <li><a href="#old_age" target="_self">Old Age</a></li>
49 <li><a href="#pets_cats" target="_self">Pets, Cats</a></li>
50 <li><a href="#philo_aristotle" target="_self">Philosophers, Aristotle</a></li>
51 <li><a href="#philo_henry_david_thoreau" target="_self">Philosophers, Henry David
52 Thoreau</a></li>
53 <li><a href="#police_and_law_enforcement" target="_self">Police And Law
54 Enforcement</a></li>
55 <li><a href="#politfig_winston_churchill" target="_self">Political Figures, Winston
56 Churchill</a></li>
57 <li><a href="#polit_fig_bill_hilary_clinton" target="_self">Political Figures, Bill And Hilary
58 Clinton</a></li>
59 <li><a href="#politfig_al_gore" target="_self">Political Figures, Al Gore</a></li>
60 <li><a href="#politfig_henry_kissinger" target="_self">Political Figures, Henry
61 Kissinger</a></li>
62 <li><a href="#politfig_colin_powell" target="_self">Political Figures, Colin
63 Powell</a></li>
64 <li><a href="#politfig_dan_quayle" target="_self">Political Figures, Dan
65 Quayle</a></li>
66 <li><a href="#politfig_ronald_reagan" target="_self">Political Figures, Ronald
67 Reagan</a></li>
68 <li><a href="#polit_polit_doubletalk" target="_self">Politics, Political Doubletalk,
69 Doubletalk</a></li>
70 <li><a href="#religion" target="_self">Religion</a></li>
71 <li><a href="#sci_mat_marie_curie" target="_self">Scientists And Mathematicians, Marie
72 Curie</a></li>
73 <li><a href="#sci_mat_edsger_dijkstra" target="_self">Scientists And Mathematicians, Edsger
74 Dijkstra</a></li>
75 <li><a href="#sci_mat_albert_einstein" target="_self">Scientists And Mathematicians, Albert
76 Einstein</a></li>
77 <li><a href="#sci_mat_gh_hardy" target="_self">Scientists And Mathematicians,
78 G.H. Hardy</a></li>
79 <li><a href="#sci_mat_james_s_harris" target="_self">Scientists And Mathematicians, James S.
80 Harris</a></li>
81 <li><a href="#sci_mat_bertrand_russell" target="_self">Scientists And Mathematicians, Bertrand
82 Russell</a></li>
83 <li><a href="#sci_mat_carl_sagan" target="_self">Scientists And Mathematicians, Carl
84 Sagan</a></li>
85 <li><a href="#software_software_engineering_etc" target="_self">Software, Software Engineering,
86 Etc.</a></li>
87 <li><a href="#sports_and_sports_figures" target="_self">Sports And Sports
88 Figures</a></li>
89 <li><a href="#unpl_wk_sit_bad_bosses_etc" target="_self">Unpleasant Work Situations, Bad Bosses,
90 Etc.</a></li>
91 <li><a href="#acknowledgements" target="_self">Acknowledgements</a></li>
92 </ul>
93 <hr>
94 <p><b><u><a name="accident_investigation"></a>Accident Investigation</u></b></p>
95 <ul>
96 <li>&quot;Many accident investigations make the same mistake in defining causes.&nbsp;
97 They identify the widget that broke or malfunctioned, then locate the person most closely connected with the
98 technical failure: the engineer who miscalculated an analysis, the operator who missed signals or pulled
99 the wrong switches, the supervisor who failed to listen, or the manager who made bad decisions&nbsp;
100 When causal chains are limited to technical flaws and individual failures, the
101 ensuing responses aimed at preventing a similar event in the future are equally limited:
102 they aim to fix the technical problem and replace or retrain the individual responsible.&nbsp;
103 Such corrections lead to a misguided and potentially disastrous belief that the underlying
104 probem has been solved.&quot;--This appeared in a CRM book by Earl L. Wiener, Barbara G. Kanki, Robert L. Helmreich
105 and cites a 2003 NASA item, need to locate the item
106 </li>
107 </ul>
108 <hr>
109 <p><b><u><a name="attractiveness_female"></a>Attractiveness, Female</u></b></p>
110 <ul>
111 <li>&quot;She's got what I call bobsled looks: going downhill fast.&quot;--Craig Nova</li>
112 </ul>
113 <hr>
114 <p><b><u><a name="aviation_and_space"></a>Aviation And Space</u></b></p>
115 <ul>
116 <li>&quot;A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away.&nbsp; A
117 'great'
118 landing is one after which they can use the plane again."--Rules of the Air,
119 #8&nbsp; (This quote appeared in the signature of an e-mail by <a href="mailto:benny@bennyvision.com"> Chris
120 Bensend</a>. Chris was careful to point
121 out in subsequent correspondence that he was not the originator of the quote,
122 and is not sure where it comes from.)</li>
123 <li>&quot;A complex system has complex failure modes.&quot;--John J. Nance, ABC
124 aviation correspondent, commenting on February 1, 2003 on the loss of the space
125 shuttle <i>Columbia</i>.</li>
126 </ul>
127 <hr>
128 <p><b><u><a name="beer"></a>Beer</u></b></p>
129 <ul>
130 <li>&quot;He was a wise man who invented beer.&quot;--Plato</li>
131 <li>&quot;Work is the curse of the drinking class.&quot;--Oscar Wilde</li>
132 <li>&quot;Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be
133 happy.&quot;--Benjamin Franklin</li>
134 <li>&quot;If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it
135 makes beer shoot out your nose.&quot;--Deep Thought, Jack Handy</li>
136 <li>&quot;Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is
137 beer.&nbsp; Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel
138 does not go nearly as well with pizza.&quot;--Dave Barry</li>
139 <li>&quot;People who drink light 'beer' don't like the taste of beer; they just
140 like to pee a lot.&quot;--Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI</li>
141 <li>&quot;Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the
142 world.&quot;--Kaiser Wilhelm</li>
143 <li>&quot;Not all chemicals are bad.&nbsp; Without chemicals such as hydrogen and
144 oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in
145 beer.&quot;--Dave Barry</li>
146 <li>&quot;I drink to make other people interesting.&quot;--George Jean Nathan</li>
147 <li>&quot;They who drink beer will think beer.&quot;--Washington Irving</li>
148 <li>&quot;All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me so let's
149 just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.&quot;--Homer Simpson</li>
150 <li>&quot;A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank
151 her.&quot;--W.C. Fields</li>
152 </ul>
153 <hr>
154 <p><b><u><a name="capitalism"></a>Capitalism</u></b></p>
155 <ul>
156 <li>&quot;Companies come and go.&nbsp; It's ... part of the genius of
157 capitalism.&quot;--U.S. Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neill, in January of 2002, in
158 response to the bankruptcy filing by Enron</li>
159 <li>&quot;I've watched lots of corporations come and go.&nbsp; ... There are
160 very few companies that have been around for 40 or 50 years.&nbsp; ... Companies
161 come and go.&nbsp; It's part of the genius of capitalism.&nbsp; People get to make good
162 decisions or bad decisions, and they get to pay the consequences or to enjoy the
163 fruits of their decisions.&nbsp; That's the way the system works.&quot;--U.S. Treasury
164 Secretary Paul O'Neill, in January of 2002, in response to the bankruptcy filing
165 by Enron</li>
166 <li>&quot;I didn't think this was worthy of me running across the street and
167 telling the president.&nbsp; I don't go across the street and tell the president every
168 time somebody calls me.&quot;--U.S. Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neill, in January of
169 2002, defending his decision not to advise President Bush of Enron's financial
170 difficulties</li>
171 <li>&quot;... unless there's an issue related to the company that reaches
172 to public responsibility ... in the American capitalist system, companies
173 are responsible for their actions ...&nbsp; The company had a duty to inform its
174 shareholders and its employees about things that were going on inside the
175 company.&nbsp; That's not a federal government responsibility."--U.S. Treasury
176 Secretary Paul O'Neill, in January of 2002, defending his decision not to take
177 any federal action to help Enron as its stock price collapsed and it was forced
178 into bankruptcy</li>
179 </ul>
180 <hr>
181 <p><b><u><a name="celeb_beaut_pag_cont"></a>Celebrities, Beauty Pageant
182 Contestants</u></b></p>
183 <ul>
184 <li><b>Question:</b>&nbsp; &quot;If you could live forever, would you and why?&quot;&nbsp;
185 <b>Answer:</b>&nbsp; &quot;I
186 would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were
187 supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live
188 forever, which is why I would not live forever&quot;--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss
189 USA contest</li>
190 </ul>
191 <hr>
192 <p><b><u><a name="celebrities_brooke_shields"></a>Celebrities, Brooke Shields</u></b></p>
193 <ul>
194 <li>&quot;Smoking kills.&nbsp; If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of
195 your life.&quot;--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a
196 federal anti-smoking campaign.</li>
197 </ul>
198 <hr>
199 <p><b><u><a name="celebrities_mariah_carey"></a>Celebrities, Mariah Carey</u></b></p>
200 <ul>
201 <li>&quot;Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the
202 world, I can't help but cry.&nbsp; I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with
203 all those flies and death and stuff.&quot;--Mariah Carey</li>
204 </ul>
205 <hr>
206 <p><b><u><a name="censorship"></a>Censorship</u></b></p>
207 <ul>
208 <li>&quot;Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public
209 mind.&quot;--General William Westmoreland</li>
210 </ul>
211 <hr>
212 <p><b><u><a name="computers_and_computing"></a>Computers And Computing</u></b></p>
213 <ul>
214 <li>&quot;A computer lets you make mistakes faster than any other invention,
215 with the possible exception of handguns and Tequila.&quot;--Mitch Ratcliffe, as
216 quoted by <a href="mailto:bryanp@visi.com"> Bryan Packer</a></li>
217 <li>&quot;Programming, an artform that fights back.&quot;--<a href="mailto:adiaz@msi.net.ph">Anuerin G. Diaz</a></li>
218 <li>&quot;A distributed system is one in which the failure of a computer you
219 didn't even know existed can render your own computer unusable.&quot;--Les
220 Lamport, s
221 quoted in newsgroup post by <a href="mailto:rick@ox.compsoc.net"> Richard Heylen</a></li>
222 <li>&quot;Every program has at least one bug and can be reduced by at least one
223 line.&nbsp; By induction, then, every program can be reduced to a single instruction,
224 and that will be wrong.&quot;--From a newsgroup post by <a href="mailto:iddw@hotmail.com"> Dave Hansen</a>
225 in April 2003</li>
226
227 <li>
228
229 &quot;
230
231 I invented the term 'Object Oriented' and I can tell you that I did not have C++ in mind.&quot;-- Alan Kay
232 </li>
233
234 <li>
235
236 &quot;
237
238 Claiming Java is easier than C++ is like saying K2 is shorter than Everest.&quot;-- Larry O'Brien, editor
239 <i> Software Development</i>
240 </li>
241
242 <li>
243
244 &quot;
245
246 A lot of people 'think' they understand C, but it is not only stranger than they imagine, it is stranger than they
247 'can' imagine.&quot;-- Richard A. O'Keefe
248 </li>
249
250 <li>
251
252 &quot;
253
254 C is its own virus.&quot;-- Miguel Gallo
255 </li>
256
257 <li>
258
259 &quot;
260
261 C gives you all the power of assembler ... along with the portability of assembler!&quot;--Unknown
262 </li>
263
264 <li>
265
266 &quot;
267
268 Java is a very popular language-- surprisingly popular considering it doesn't seem to have learnt the lessons of Simula 67.&quot;-- Malcolm Atkinson
269 </li>
270
271 <li>
272
273 &quot;
274
275 The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from.&quot;-- Andrew S. Tanenbaum
276 </li>
277
278 <li>
279
280 &quot;The debate over computer-assisted proofs is the high-end version of
281 arguments over using calculators in math classes—whether technology spurs
282 greater achievements by speeding rote calculations or deprives people of
283 fundamentals.&quot;--From an April 6, 2004 article in the New York Times (Web
284 Edition) entitled, &quot;<i>In Math, Computers Don't Lie.&nbsp; Or Do They</i>&quot;,
285 by Kenneth Chang
286 </li>
287
288 </ul>
289 <hr>
290 <p><b><u><a name="courage"></a>Courage</u></b></p>
291 <ul>
292 <li>&quot;Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities ...
293 because it is the quality which guarantees all others.&quot;--Winston Churchill</li>
294 <li>&quot;The desire for safety stands against every great and noble
295 enterprise.&quot;--Tacitus, Roman historian</li>
296 <li>"One man with courage makes a majority."--Andrew Jackson</li>
297 <li>"What separates the winners from the losers is how a person reacts to
298 each new twist of fate."--Donald Trump</li>
299 <li>"No captain can do very wrong if he places his ship alongside that of
300 the enemy."--Admiral Horatio Nelson</li>
301 <li>&quot;[Admiral Nelson's counsel] guided me time and again.&nbsp; On the eve of
302 the critical battle of Santa Cruz, in which the Japanese ships outnumbered ours
303 more than two to one, I sent my task force commanders this dispatch: <i>ATTACK
304 REPEAT ATTACK</i>.&nbsp; They did attack, heroically, and when the battle was done, the
305 enemy turned away.&nbsp; All problems, personal, national, or combat, become smaller
306 if you don't dodge them, but confront them.&nbsp; Touch a thistle timidly, and it
307 pricks you; grasp it boldly, and its spines crumble.&nbsp; Carry the battle to the
308 enemy!&nbsp; Lay your ship alongside his!&quot;--Admiral William 'Bull' Halsey</li>
309 <li>&quot;Never forget that no military leader has ever become great without
310 audacity.&quot;--Karl von Clausewitz</li>
311 </ul>
312 <hr>
313 <p><b><u><a name="freedom_and_civil_liberties"></a>Freedom And Civil Liberties</u></b></p>
314 <ul>
315 <li>&quot;First they came for the political activists, and I didn't defend
316 them, because I wasn't an activist.&nbsp; Then they came for the gun owners, and I
317 didn't defend them, because I wasn't a gun owner.&nbsp; Then they came for the writers
318 and philosophers, and I didn't defend them, because I wasn't a writer or
319 philosopher.&nbsp; Then they came for me, and there was nobody left to defend
320 me.&quot;--Unknown</li>
321 <li>&quot;Those who would trade personal liberties in the name of security
322 shall have neither.&quot;--Ben Franklin</li>
323 <li>&quot;We've been singing the same song in this country for more than 200
324 years.&nbsp; It's a very good song, and I want to keep singing it.&nbsp; I'm very leery of
325 changing the lyrics.&quot;--Art Babbott, Flagstaff, Arizona City Council member,
326 who sponsored the December, 2002 resolution in Flagstaff urging federal
327 authorities to respect citizens' civil rights when fighting terrorism</li>
328 </ul>
329 <hr>
330 <p><b><u><a name="general_humor"></a>General Humor</u></b></p>
331 <ul>
332 <li>&quot;I hope I don't sound like an old-fashioned stick-in-the-mud, but when
333 I hear about people making vast fortunes without doing any productive work or
334 contributing anything to society, my reaction is: 'How can I get in on
335 that?'&quot;--Dave Barry</li>
336 <li>&quot;I may seem more arrogant, but I think that's just because you didn't
337 realize how arrogant I was before.&quot;--Jeffrey Hobbs, Tcl Ambassador, Ajuba
338 Solutions</li>
339 <li>&quot;Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same
340 reactions in the brain as marijuana.&nbsp; The researchers also discovered other
341 similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are.&quot;--Matt Lauer
342 on NBC's <i>Today</i> show</li>
343 <li>&quot;Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.&quot;--Gloria
344 Steinem.</li>
345 <li>&quot;I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from
346 them.&nbsp; There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians
347 were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves.&quot;--John Wayne</li>
348 <li>&quot;Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we
349 received notice that you passed away.&nbsp; May God bless you.&nbsp; You may reapply if
350 there is a change in your circumstances.&quot;--Department of Social Services,
351 Greenville, South Carolina</li>
352 <li>&quot;We apologize for the error in last week's paper in which we stated
353 that Mr. Arnold Dogbody was a defective in the police force.&nbsp; We meant, of
354 course, that Mr. Dogbody is a detective in the police farce.&quot;--Correction
355 Notice in the Ely Standard, a British newspaper</li>
356 <li>&quot;If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as
357 they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night.&nbsp; And the
358 next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record.&quot;--Mark S. Fowler,
359 FCC Chairman</li>
360 <li>&quot;Although small, silky sharks are bad news.&nbsp; They're nervous, they're
361 aggressive, and there's lots of them.&quot;--<i>Sharks In The Golden Triangle</i>,
362 CBC.</li>
363 <li>&quot;People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's
364 safer to harrass rich women than motorcycle gangs.&quot;--from a rubber stamp
365 purchased at <i>Chestnut Creek, Inc.</i> in Dearborn, Michigan, USA.</li>
366 <li>&quot;Theory may inform, but Practice convinces.&quot;--George Bain.</li>
367 <li>&quot;I used to be disgusted, now I find I'm just amused.&quot;--Elvis
368 Costello.</li>
369 <li>&quot;Heroic people have heroic flaws.&quot;--Unknown</li>
370 <li>&quot;The reason I rob banks is 'cause that's where the money
371 is.&quot;--Willie Sutton</li>
372 <li>&quot;A lot of you are making security products that are an attractive
373 nuisance.&nbsp; Shame on you.&nbsp; I want you to grow up.&nbsp; I want functions and assurances
374 in security devices.&nbsp; We do not beta test on customers.&nbsp; If my product fails,
375 someone might die.&quot;--Brian Snow, of the National Security Agency's Information
376 Systems Security Organization, speaking at the Black Hat Briefings security
377 conference</li>
378 <li>&quot;There are three kinds of people: the ones that learn by reading, the
379 few who learn by observation, and the rest of them who have to touch the fire to
380 see for themselves if it's really hot.&quot;--Unknown</li>
381 <li>&quot;A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into
382 theorems.&quot;--Paul Erdos</li>
383 <li>&quot;A person needs only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape.&nbsp; If it doesn't
384 move and it should, use the WD-40.&nbsp; If it moves and it shouldn't, use the
385 tape.&quot;--Unknown</li>
386 <li>&quot;Fame is vapor, popularity is an accident, riches take wings.&nbsp; Only one
387 thing endures and that is character.&quot;--Horace Greeley</li>
388 <li>&quot;My mother is such an alarmist, always worried!&nbsp; One little cough, and
389 she thinks I have pneumonia.&nbsp; One little headache, and she is sure that I have a
390 brain tumor.&nbsp; One little lie, and she thinks I am destined to be president
391 ... .&quot;--Unknown</li>
392 <li>&quot;Stupidity is a renewable resource.&quot;--Unknown</li>
393 <li>&quot;Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking
394 about.&quot;--Unknown</li>
395 <li>&quot;A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the
396 support of Paul.&quot;--G. B. Shaw</li>
397 <li>&quot;All human beings should try to learn before they die what they are
398 running from, and to, and why.&quot;--James Thurber</li>
399 <li>&quot;It is with rivers as it is with people: the greatest are not the most
400 agreeable nor the best to live with.&quot;--Henry van Dyke</li>
401 <li>&quot;Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow that
402 talent to the dark place where it leads.&quot;--Erica Jong</li>
403 <li>&quot;A government that is big enough to give you all you want is big
404 enough to take it all away.&quot;--Barry Goldwater</li>
405 <li>&quot;If a hole is in the wrong place, then no amount of digging is going
406 to put it in the right place.&quot;--Edward de Bono</li>
407 <li>&quot;Misers aren't fun to live with, but they make wonderful
408 ancestors.&quot;--David Brenner</li>
409 <li>&quot;One way to prevent progress is by arguing that any first step is
410 unfair to somebody.&quot;--Unknown</li>
411 <li>&quot;People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't
412 realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.&quot;--Calvin
413 (&amp; Hobbes)</li>
414 <li>&quot;Montreal winters are an intelligence test, and we who are here have
415 failed it.&quot;--Doug Camilli</li>
416 <li>&quot;Growing up, my mom always claimed to feel bad when a bird would slam
417 head-first into our living room window.&nbsp; If she <i>really</i> felt bad, though,
418 she'd have moved the bird feeder outside.&quot;--Rich Johnson</li>
419 <li>&quot;I realize that there are certain hardships that only females must
420 endure, such as childbirth, waiting in lines for public-restroom stalls, and a
421 crippling, psychotic obsession with shoe color.&nbsp; Also, females tend to reach
422 emotional maturity very quickly, so that by age 7 they are no longer capable of
423 seeing the humor in loud inadvertent public blasts of flatulence, whereas males
424 can continue to derive vast enjoyment from this well into their 80s.&quot;--Dave
425 Barry</li>
426 <li>"Disease generally begins that equality which death completes; the
427 distinctions which set one man so much above another are very little perceived
428 in the gloom of a sick chamber, where it will be vain to expect entertainment
429 from the gay, or instruction from the wise; where all human glory is
430 obliterated, the wit is clouded, the reasoner perplexed, and the hero subdued;
431 where the highest and brightest of mortal beings finds nothing left him but the
432 consciousness of innocence."--Samuel Johnson</li>
433 <li>"More and more, our relationship with the industrial food industry
434 begins to resemble the one it has with its chickens, pigs and cows.&nbsp; In exchange
435 for zero responsibility, we get zero control."--Kalle Lasn, <i>Culture Jam</i></li>
436 <li>"Es ist ein Bluff.&nbsp; Sie können Autos und Kühlschränke
437 bauen, aber keine Flugzeuge!"--Hermann Göring im Jahre 1941 über
438 die industriellen Fähigkeiten der U.S.A</li>
439 <li>"There's no such thing as a <i>pretty good</i> alligator wrestler."--Original source unknown:&nbsp;
440 reprinted in February 2001 Scientific
441 American, Steve Mirsky's column</li>
442 <li>"I'd rather work with someone who's good at their job but doesn't like
443 me, than someone who likes me but is a ninny."--Sam Donaldson, as reproduced
444 in the July 2001 <i>Reader's Digest</i></li>
445 <li>"Pain is candy for the focused mind."--Agent Bobby Hobbes (actor
446 Paul Ben-Victor) in <i>The Invisible Man</i>, air date July 27, 2001 on the
447 Sci-Fi Channel</li>
448 <li>
449 "The greatest tragedy in mankind's entire history may be the hijacking
450 of morality by religion.&nbsp; However valuable--even necessary--that may have been
451 in enforcing good behavior on primitive peoples, their association is now
452 counterproductive.&nbsp; Yet at the very moment when they should be decoupled,
453 sanctimonious nitwits are calling for a return to morals based on superstition."--Arthur C. Clarke</li>
454 <li>
455 "The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content."--Unknown
456 </li>
457 <li>
458 "I live in my own little world.&nbsp; But it's ok...they know me here. "--Unknown
459 </li>
460 <li>
461 "I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Implants?"'--Unknown
462 </li>
463 <li>
464 "I don't do drugs anymore 'cause I find I get the same effect just
465 standing up really fast."--Unknown
466 </li>
467 <li>
468 "Sign In Pet Store:&nbsp; 'Buy one dog, get one flea ..."--Unknown
469 </li>
470 <li>
471 "Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with."--Unknown
472 </li>
473 <li>
474 "I got a sweater for Christmas ... I wanted a screamer or a moaner."--Unknown
475 </li>
476 <li>
477 "I don't approve of political jokes ... I've seen too many of
478 them get elected."--Unknown
479 </li>
480 <li>
481 "There are two sides to every divorce:&nbsp; yours and shithead's."--Unknown
482 </li>
483 <li>
484 "If life deals you lemons, make lemonade;&nbsp; if it deals you tomatoes,
485 make Bloody Marys.&nbsp; But if it deals you a truckload of hand grenades ... now
486 THAT'S a message!!"--Unknown
487 </li>
488 <li>
489 "I love being married.&nbsp; It's so great to find that one special person
490 you want to annoy for the rest of your life."--Unknown
491 </li>
492 <li>
493 "Shopping tip:&nbsp; You can get shoes for 85 cents at the bowling alley."--Unknown
494 </li>
495 <li>
496 "I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect."--Unknown
497 </li>
498 <li>
499 "I married my wife for her looks ... but not the ones she's been
500 giving me lately!"--Unknown
501 </li>
502 <li>
503 "Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days
504 I've stayed alive."--Unknown
505 </li>
506 <li>
507 "Two peanuts were walking down the street.&nbsp; One was a salted."--Unknown
508 </li>
509 <li>
510 "Isn't it funny how the mood can be ruined so quickly by just one
511 busted condom?"--Unknown
512 </li>
513 <li>
514 "If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead
515 rabbits on the highway?"--Unknown
516 </li>
517 <li>
518 "Welcome To Shit Creek--Sorry, We're Out of Paddles!"--Unknown
519 </li>
520 <li>
521 "How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50
522 for Miss America?"--Unknown
523 </li>
524 <li>
525 "Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing
526 section in a swimming pool?"--Unknown
527 </li>
528 <li>
529 "Marriage changes passion ... suddenly you're in bed with a relative."--Unknown
530 </li>
531 <li>
532 "Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?"--Unknown
533 </li>
534 <li>
535 "The next time you feel like complaining remember:&nbsp; Your garbage
536 disposal probably eats better than thirty percent of the people in this world."--Unknown
537 </li>
538 <li>
539 "Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled."--Unknown
540 </li>
541 <li>
542 "Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words:&nbsp; 'Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's
543 been.'&quot;--Unknown
544 </li>
545 <li>
546 "I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone,
547 but they've always worked for me."--Hunter S. Thompson
548 </li>
549 <li>
550 "I speak Spanish to God, Italian to women, French to men, and German
551 to my dog."--Emporer Charles V
552 </li>
553 <li>
554 "It is unfortunate that the HP board has seemingly missed what the
555 company's stockholders have clearly recognized:&nbsp; that dissent is not disloyalty,
556 that healthy boards need not agree on every issue and that while the management
557 and board may run the company, the stockholders are the true owners of the
558 company."--Walter Hewlett, in a statement after not being reappointed to the
559 Hewlett-Packard board of directors in March of 2002 due to an adversarial
560 relationship with the company
561 </li>
562 <li>
563 "Be true to your teeth or they will be false to you."--Unknown
564 </li>
565 <li>
566 "An exclamation point is like laughing at your own joke."--F. Scott
567 Fitzgerald
568 </li>
569 <li>
570 "It is not enough to succeed.&nbsp; Others must fail."--Gore Vidal
571 </li>
572 <li>
573 "Nostalgia isn't what it used to be."--Unknown
574 </li>
575 <li>
576 "They call television a medium because nothing's well done."--Goodman Ace.
577 </li>
578 <li>
579 "Diplomacy is the art of saying 'nice doggie' 'till you can find a rock."--Wynn Catlin
580 </li>
581 <li>
582 "I'm worried that just as clothes dryers have the knack of making
583 socks disappear, the federal government has discovered a core competency of
584 losing computers."--Charles E. Grassley (R-Iowa) in an August 2002 letter to
585 Mitchell E. Daniels Jr., director of the Office of Management and Budget, in
586 response to a report that thousands of personal computers were lost within the
587 IRS
588 </li>
589 <li>
590 "You can't outrun Death forever.&nbsp; But you can make the Bastard work for it."--Major Korgo
591 Korgar, "Last of The Lancers", AFC 32&nbsp; (This quote
592 appeared as a slide starting the episode <i>Lava and Rockets, Episode \#213</i>
593 of the TV series <i>Andromeda</i> in 2002.&nbsp; It is not clear to me if this is a
594 real quote by a fictitious person (is Korgo Korgar real?) or whether it is based
595 on a real-life quote by another person, or whether it was created by the show's
596 writers.&nbsp; This needs to be researched.)
597 </li>
598 <li>
599 "Will someone please explain to me the logic that says we can trust
600 someone with a Boeing 747 in bad weather, but not with a Glock 9 millimeter?"--Senator Zell Miller, in 9/2002 in support of a measure allowing
601 the arming of airline pilots
602 </li>
603 <li>
604 "The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies,
605 the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of
606 animals I have ever seen.&nbsp; Thank God for the United States Marine Corps!"--Eleanor Roosevelt, First Lady of the United States, 1945
607 </li>
608 <li>
609 "You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white
610 guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the Swiss hold the Americas Cup, France is
611 accusing the U.S. of arrogance, and Germany doesn't want to go to war."--Unknown Author (Received via e-mail during operation
612 <i>Iraqi Freedom</i> on March 25, 2003.)
613 </li>
614 <li>
615 "Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine."--Author
616 unknown, in the footer of a newsgroup post by <a href="mailto:iddw@hotmail.com"> Dave Hansen</a>
617 in April 2003.
618 </li>
619 <li>
620 &quot;Every great scientific truth goes through three states:&nbsp; first,
621 people say it conflicts with the Bible; next, they say it has been discovered
622 before; lastly, they say they always believed it.&quot;---Louis Agassiz
623 (1807-1873), Swiss-born American naturalist.
624 </li>
625 <li>
626 &quot;Laugh and the world laughs with you.&nbsp; Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.&quot;--Laurie
627 Kuslansky
628 </li>
629 <li>
630 &quot;My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being, hitting my
631 head on the top bunk bed until I faint.&quot;--Erma Bombeck
632 </li>
633 <li>
634 &quot;A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.&quot;--Rhonda
635 Hansome
636 </li>
637 <li>
638 &quot;The phrase 'working mother' is redundant.&quot;--Jane Sellman
639 </li>
640 <li>
641 &quot;Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows.&quot;--Jennifer
642 Unlimited
643 </li>
644 <li>
645 &quot;Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half
646 as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.&quot;--Charlotte Whitton
647 </li>
648 <li>
649 &quot;I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at
650 once.&quot;--Jennifer Unlimited
651 </li>
652 <li>
653 &quot;If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible
654 warning.&quot;--Catherine
655 </li>
656 <li>
657 &quot;When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years
658 before they realized I actually had a hearing loss.&nbsp; And they called ME slow!&quot;--Kathy
659 Buckley
660 </li>
661 <li>
662 &quot;I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb ...
663 and I'm also not blonde.&quot;--Dolly Parton
664 </li>
665 <li>
666 &quot;If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.&quot;--Sue
667 Grafton
668 </li>
669 <li>
670 &quot;I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.&quot;--Roseanne
671 Barr
672 </li>
673 <li>
674 &quot;When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping.&nbsp; Men invade another
675 country.&quot;--Elayne Boosler
676 </li>
677 <li>
678 &quot;Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.&quot;--Maryon Pearson
679 </li>
680 <li>
681 &quot;In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man- if you want anything done,
682 ask a woman.&quot;--Margaret Thatcher
683 </li>
684 <li>
685 &quot;I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a
686 career.&quot;--Gloria Steinem
687 </li>
688 <li>
689 &quot;I am a marvelous housekeeper.&nbsp; Every time I leave a man I keep his house.&quot;--Zsa
690 Zsa Gabor
691 </li>
692 <li>
693 &quot;Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.&quot;--Eleanor
694 Roosevelt
695 </li>
696 <li>&quot;In this world there are only two tragedies; one is not getting what one wants,
697 the other is getting it.&quot;-- Oscar Wilde
698 </li>
699
700 <li>&quot;It's so much easier to suggest solutions when you don't know too much about the problem.&quot;--Malcolm Forbes (1919 - 1990)
701 </li>
702
703 <li>&quot;I have always wished that my computer would be as easy to use as my telephone.&nbsp;
704 My wish has come true.&nbsp; I no longer know how to use my telephone.&quot;--Bjarne Stroustrup, computer science professor, designer of C++ programming language (1950- )
705 </li>
706
707 <li>&quot;In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.&quot;--Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914), The Devil's Dictionary
708 </li>
709
710 <li>&quot;Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon filled with backup tapes.&quot;--Jim Gray, ACM Turing Award winner
711 </li>
712
713 <li>&quot;A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against its government.&quot;--Edward Abbey, naturalist and author (1927-1989)
714 </li>
715
716 <li>&quot;When governments fear the people there is liberty.&nbsp; When the people fear the government there is tyranny.&quot;--Thomas Jefferson, third US president, architect and author (1743-1826)
717 </li>
718
719 <li>&quot;The hardest person to awaken is the one already awake.&quot;--Tagalog saying
720 </li>
721
722 <li>&quot;Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.&quot;--Hanlon's Razor
723 </li>
724
725 <li>&quot;It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.&quot;--James Thurber (1894 - 1961)
726 </li>
727
728 <li>
729
730 &quot;Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest.&quot;--Isaac
731 Asimov, author (1920 - 1992)
732 </li>
733
734 <li>
735
736
737 &quot;Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status.&quot;--Laurence J. Peter (1919 - 1988)
738 </li>
739
740 <li>
741
742 &quot;Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses.&quot;--Unknown
743 </li>
744
745 <li>
746
747 &quot;Patriotism is the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons.&quot;--Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)
748 </li>
749
750 <li>
751
752 &quot;'My country, right or wrong,' is a thing that no patriot would think of saying except in a desperate case.&nbsp;
753 It is like saying, 'My mother, drunk or sober.'&quot; - G. K. Chesterton (1874 - 1936)
754 </li>
755
756 <li>
757
758 &quot;When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad, and that is my religion.&quot;--Abraham Lincoln, US President (1809 - 1865) (attributed)
759 </li>
760
761 <li>&quot;To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public.&quot;--Theodore Roosevelt, 26th US President (1858-1919)
762 </li>
763
764 <li>
765
766 &quot;Computers are useless.&nbsp; They can only give you answers.&quot;--Pablo Picasso, artist (1881 - 1973)
767 </li>
768
769 <li>
770
771 &quot;Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.&quot;--H. L. Mencken, author (1880 - 1956)
772 </li>
773
774 <li>
775
776 &quot;Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.&quot;--Lucius Annaeus Seneca, writer and philosopher (BCE 3-65 CE)
777 </li>
778
779 <li>
780
781 &quot;Finance is the art of passing money from hand to hand until it finally disappears.&quot;--Robert W. Sarnoff, RCA executive (1918-1997)
782 </li>
783
784 <li>
785
786 &quot;Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.&quot;--Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915)
787 </li>
788
789 <li>
790
791 &quot;There are 10<sup>11</sup> stars in the galaxy.&nbsp; That used to be a huge number.&nbsp;
792 But it's only a hundred billion.&nbsp; It's less than the national deficit!&nbsp;
793 We used to call them astronomical numbers.&nbsp; Now we should call them economical numbers.&quot;--Richard Feynman, physicist, Nobel laureate (1918-1988)
794 </li>
795
796 <li>&quot;The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.&quot;--Samuel Butler (1835 - 1902)
797 </li>
798
799 <li>
800
801 &quot;Never express yourself more clearly than you think.&quot;--Niels Bohr
802 </li>
803
804 <li>
805
806 &quot;A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn't.&quot;--Unknown
807 </li>
808
809 <li>
810
811 &quot;Sometimes I think we're alone in the universe, and sometimes I think we're not.&nbsp;
812 In either case, the idea is quite staggering.&quot;--Arthur C Clarke, science fiction writer (1917- )
813 </li>
814
815 <li>
816
817 &quot;Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.&quot;--Kin Hubbard (1868 - 1930)
818 </li>
819
820 <li>
821
822 &quot;Whenever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship.&quot;--Harry S Truman (1884 - 1972)
823 </li>
824
825 <li>
826
827 &quot;Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.&quot;--George Bernard Shaw, writer, Nobel laureate (1856-1950)
828 </li>
829
830 <li>
831
832 &quot;All of the books in the world contain no more information than is broadcast as video in a single large American city in a single year.&nbsp;
833 Not all bits have equal value.&quot;--Carl Sagan, astronomer, author (1934-1996)
834 </li>
835
836 <li>
837
838 &quot;The universe is not hostile, nor yet is it friendly.&nbsp; It is simply indifferent.&quot;--John Haynes&nbsp;
839 </li>
840
841 <li>
842
843 &quot;A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled.&quot;--Sir Barnett Cocks
844 </li>
845
846 <li>
847
848 &quot;Nature is trying very hard to make us succeed, but nature does not depend on us.&nbsp;
849 We are not the only experiment.&quot;--R. Buckminster Fuller, engineer, designer, and architect (1895-1983)
850 </li>
851
852 <li>
853
854 &quot;Speech is conveniently located midway between thought and action, where it often substitutes for both.&quot;--John Andrew Holmes, 20th-century American author, physician
855 </li>
856
857 <li>
858
859 &quot;Worry is interest paid on trouble before it comes due.&quot;--William R. Inge, clergyman, scholar, and author (1860-1954)
860 </li>
861
862 <li>
863
864 &quot;Assassination:&nbsp; The extreme form of censorship.&quot;--George Bernard Shaw, writer, Nobel laureate (1856-1950)
865 </li>
866
867 <li>
868
869 &quot;History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.&quot;--Abba Eban, Israeli diplomat (1915-)
870 </li>
871
872 <li>&quot;Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get.&quot;--Anonymous
873 </li>
874
875 <li>
876
877 &quot;The measure of a man's real character is what he would do if he knew he would never be found out.&quot;--Thomas Babington Macaulay, author and statesman (1800-1859)
878 </li>
879
880 <li>
881
882 &quot;Life is one long process of getting tired.&quot;--Samuel Butler, British author
883 (1835-1902)
884 </li>
885
886 <li>
887
888 &quot;Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.&quot;--Confucius, philosopher and teacher (c. 551-478 BCE)
889 </li>
890
891 <li>
892
893 &quot;Never advise anyone to go to war or to marry.&quot;--Spanish Proverb
894 </li>
895
896 <li>
897
898 &quot;Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.&quot;--Philip K. Dick, author (1928-1982)
899 </li>
900
901 <li>
902
903 &quot;Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom.&nbsp; It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves.&quot;--William Pitt, British prime-minister (1759-1806)
904 </li>
905
906 <li>
907
908 &quot;The believer is happy; the doubter is wise.&quot;--Hungarian proverb&nbsp;
909 </li>
910
911 <li>
912
913 &quot;Skeptics laugh in order not to weep.&quot;--Anatole France, French author, critic and poet (1844-1924)
914 </li>
915
916 <li>
917
918 &quot;I take a simple view of living.&nbsp; It is keep your eyes open and get on with it.&quot;--Laurence Olivier, British actor
919 (1907-1989)
920 </li>
921
922 <li>
923
924 &quot;In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life:&nbsp; it goes on.&quot;--Robert Frost, poet (1874-1963)
925 </li>
926
927 <li>
928
929 &quot;There are some that only employ words for the purpose of disguising their thoughts.&quot;--Voltaire, philosopher (1694-1778)
930 </li>
931
932 <li>
933
934 &quot;I have learnt silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers.&quot;--
935 Kahlil Gibran, mystic, poet and artist (1883-1931)
936 </li>
937
938 <li>
939
940 &quot;Human beings are the only creatures who are able to behave irrationally in the name of reason.&quot;--Ashley
941 Montagu, English anthropologist (1905-1999)
942 </li>
943
944 <li>
945
946 &quot;Those are my principles.&nbsp; If you don't like them I have others.&quot;--Groucho Marx, comedian (1890-1977)
947 </li>
948
949 <li>
950
951 &quot;Always remember that you are unique.&nbsp; Just like everyone else.&quot;--Unattributed
952 </li>
953
954 <li>
955
956 &quot;Perfection is attained by slow degrees; it requires the hand of time.&quot;--Voltaire, philosopher (1694-1778)
957 </li>
958
959 <li>
960
961 &quot;There's this thing called being so open-minded your brains drop out.&quot;--Richard Dawkins, biologist, author, philosopher (1941-)
962 </li>
963
964 <li>
965
966 &quot;All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.&quot;--Sean
967 O'Casey, playwright (1880-1964)
968 </li>
969
970 <li>
971
972 &quot;Every man is a damned fool for at least five minutes every day.&nbsp; Wisdom consists in not exceeding the
973 limit.&quot;--Elbert Hubbard, author, editor, printer (1856-1915)
974 </li>
975
976 <li>
977
978 &quot;War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.&quot;--Ambrose Bierce, writer (1842-1914)
979 </li>
980
981 <li>
982
983 &quot;Never confuse motion with action.&quot;--Benjamin Franklin, statesman, author, and inventor (1706-1790)
984 </li>
985
986 <li>
987
988 &quot;Dignity consists not in possessing honors, but in the consciousness that we deserve them.&quot;--Aristotle, philosopher (384-322 BCE)
989 </li>
990
991 <li>
992
993 &quot;To a man with a hammer, everything looks like a nail.&quot;--Mark Twain, author and humorist (1835-1910)
994 </li>
995
996 <li>
997
998 &quot;Make haste slowly.&quot;--Caesar Augustus, Roman emperor (63 BCE-14 CE)
999 </li>
1000
1001 <li>
1002
1003 &quot;It is a bit embarrassing to have been concerned with the human problem all one's life and find at the end that one has no more to offer by way of advice than
1004 'try to be a little kinder.'&quot;--Aldous Huxley, novelist (1894-1963)
1005 </li>
1006
1007 <li>
1008
1009 &quot;Our sun is one of 100 billion stars in our galaxy.&nbsp; Our galaxy is one of the billions of galaxies populating the universe.&nbsp;
1010 It would be the height of presumption to think that we are the only living things within that enormous immensity.&quot;--Wernher von Braun, rocket engineer (1912-1977)
1011 </li>
1012
1013 <li>
1014
1015 &quot;Experience teaches us to be most on our guard to protect liberty when the government's purpose is beneficent.&nbsp;
1016 Men born to freedom are naturally alert to repel invasion of their liberty by evil-minded rulers.&nbsp;
1017 The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding.&quot;--Louis Dembitz Brandeis, lawyer, judge, and writer (1856-1941)
1018 </li>
1019
1020 <li>
1021
1022 &quot;When great changes occur in history, when great principles are involved, as a rule the majority are wrong.&quot;--Eugene V. Debs, American Socialist
1023 (1855-1926)
1024 </li>
1025
1026 <li>
1027
1028 &quot;I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.&quot;--Brendan Francis Behan, playwright (1923-1964)
1029 </li>
1030
1031 <li>
1032
1033 &quot;It may be necessary temporarily to accept a lesser evil, but one must never label a necessary evil as good.&quot;--Margaret Mead, American anthropologist (1901-1978)
1034 </li>
1035
1036 <li>
1037
1038 &quot;Be master of your petty annoyances and conserve your energies for the big, worthwhile things.&nbsp;
1039 It isn't the mountain ahead that wears you out--it's the grain of sand in your shoe.&quot;--Robert Service, writer (1874-1958)
1040 </li>
1041
1042 <li>
1043
1044 &quot;Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral?&nbsp; It is because we are not the person involved.&quot;--Mark Twain, author and humorist (1835-1910)
1045 </li>
1046
1047 <li>
1048
1049 &quot;Money often costs too much.&quot;--Ralph Waldo Emerson, American essayist, poet and philosopher (1803-1882)
1050 </li>
1051
1052 <li>
1053
1054 &quot;By three methods we may learn wisdom:&nbsp; First, by reflection, which is noblest; second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third, by experience, which is the bitterest.&quot;--Confucius, philosopher and teacher (c. 551- 478 BCE)
1055 </li>
1056
1057 <li>
1058
1059 &quot;Until lions have their historians, tales of the hunt shall always glorify the hunter.&quot;--African
1060 proverb
1061 </li>
1062
1063 <li>
1064
1065 &quot;Life is a long lesson in humility.&quot;--James M. Barrie, writer (1860-1937)
1066 </li>
1067
1068 <li>
1069
1070 &quot;The man who is a pessimist before forty-eight knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.&quot;--Mark Twain, author (1835-1910)
1071 </li>
1072
1073 <li>
1074
1075 &quot;A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.&quot;--George Bernard Shaw, writer, Nobel laureate (1856-1950)
1076 </li>
1077
1078 <li>
1079
1080 &quot;A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs--jolted by every pebble in the road.&quot;--Henry Ward Beecher, preacher and writer (1813-1887)
1081 </li>
1082
1083 <li>
1084
1085 &quot;Lighthouses are more helpful than churches.&quot;--Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)
1086 </li>
1087
1088 <li>
1089
1090 &quot;Sometimes to remain silent is to lie.&quot;--Miguel de Unamuno, philosopher and writer (1864-1936)
1091 </li>
1092
1093 <li>
1094
1095 &quot;Excuse my dust.&quot;--Dorothy Parker's own epitaph - poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
1096 </li>
1097
1098 <li>
1099
1100 &quot;Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.&quot;--Dorothy Parker - poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
1101 </li>
1102
1103 <li>
1104
1105 &quot;If all the girls in attendance were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.&quot;--Dorothy Parker responding to "Wasn't the Yale prom wonderful?" Poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
1106 </li>
1107
1108 <li>
1109
1110 &quot;You know, that woman speaks 18 languages, and she can't say 'no' in any of them.&quot;--Dorothy Parker - poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
1111 </li>
1112
1113 <li>
1114
1115 &quot;Brevity is the soul of lingerie.&quot;--Dorothy Parker - poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
1116 </li>
1117
1118 <li>
1119
1120 &quot;It's a small apartment, I've barely enough room to lay my hat and a few friends.&quot;--Dorothy Parker - poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
1121 </li>
1122
1123 <li>
1124
1125 &quot;One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.&quot;--Rita Mae Brown, author (1944- )
1126 </li>
1127
1128 <li>
1129
1130 &quot;When a man wants to murder a tiger he calls it sport; when the tiger wants to murder him he calls it ferocity.&quot;--George Bernard Shaw, writer, Nobel laureate (1856-1950)
1131 </li>
1132
1133 <li>
1134
1135 &quot;Don't discuss yourself, for you are bound to lose; if you belittle yourself, you are believed; if you praise yourself, you are disbelieved.&quot;--Michel de Montaigne, essayist (1533-1592)
1136 </li>
1137
1138 <li>
1139
1140 &quot;Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.&quot;--George Washington (1732-1799)
1141 </li>
1142
1143 <li>
1144
1145 &quot;Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful."--Samuel Johnson, English author, lexicographer (1709-1784)
1146 </li>
1147
1148 <li>
1149
1150 &quot;To have friends, you know, one need only be good-natured; but when a man has no enemy left there must be something mean about him.&quot;--Oscar Wilde, Anglo-Irish playwright, author (1854-1900)
1151 </li>
1152
1153 <li>
1154
1155 &quot;To have doubted one's own first principles is the mark of a civilized man.&quot;--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., poet, novelist, essayist, and physician (1809-1894)
1156 </li>
1157
1158 <li>
1159
1160 &quot;If I have been able to see further, it was only because I stood on the shoulders of giants.&quot;--Isaac Newton, mathematician, physicist (1642-1727)
1161 </li>
1162
1163 <li>
1164
1165 &quot;Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.&quot;--Will Durant, historian (1885-1981)
1166 </li>
1167
1168 <li>
1169
1170 &quot;Every woman is a 10; it just depends on what base you're counting in.&quot;--Unknown
1171 </li>
1172
1173 <li>
1174
1175 &quot;Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.&quot;--Abraham Lincoln, statesman, US President (1809-1865)
1176 </li>
1177
1178 <li>
1179
1180 &quot;Every society honors its live conformists and its dead troublemakers.&quot;--Mignon McLaughlin, author
1181 </li>
1182
1183 <li>
1184
1185 &quot;Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.&quot;--Arthur C. Clarke
1186 </li>
1187
1188 <li>
1189
1190 &quot;When men are most sure and arrogant, they are commonly the most mistaken.&quot;--David Hume, philosopher, historian (1711-1776)
1191 </li>
1192
1193 <li>
1194
1195 &quot;The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who, in time of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality.&quot;--Dante Alighieri, poet (1265 -1321)
1196 </li>
1197
1198 <li>&quot;I long to accomplish a great and noble task; but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble.&quot;--Helen Keller, deaf & blind lecturer (1880-1968)
1199 </li>
1200
1201 <li>
1202
1203 &quot;I'm proud to pay taxes in the United States; the only thing is, I could be just as proud for half the money.&quot;--Arthur Godfrey
1204 </li>
1205
1206 <li>
1207
1208 &quot;Walking is also an ambulation of mind.&quot;--Gretel Ehrlich, novelist, poet, and essayist (1946- )
1209 </li>
1210
1211 <li>
1212
1213 &quot;Every saint has a past and every sinner a future.&quot;--Oscar Wilde, writer (1854-1900)
1214 </li>
1215
1216 <li>&quot;Good judgment comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgment.&quot;--Rita Mae Brown, American writer and playwright
1217 </li>
1218
1219 <li>
1220
1221 &quot;People are like stained glass windows: they sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light within.&quot;--Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, psychiatrist and author (1926- )
1222 </li>
1223
1224 <li>
1225
1226 &quot;Too many have dispensed with generosity in order to practice charity.&quot;--Albert Camus (1913-1960)
1227 </li>
1228
1229 <li>
1230
1231 &quot;Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity.&quot;--Frank Leahy
1232 </li>
1233
1234 <li>
1235
1236 &quot;When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President.&nbsp; Now I'm beginning to believe
1237 it.&quot;--Clarence Darrow, lawyer, author (1857-1938)
1238 </li>
1239
1240 <li>
1241
1242 &quot;Since Auschwitz we know what man is capable of.&nbsp; And since Hiroshima we know what is at stake.&quot;--Viktor Frankl, author, neurologist and psychiatrist, Holocaust survivor (1905-1997)
1243 </li>
1244
1245 <li>
1246
1247 &quot;Choosing the lesser of two evils, is still choosing evil&quot;--Christopher Hampton, British playwright
1248 </li>
1249
1250 <li>
1251
1252 &quot;When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.&quot;--Mae West
1253 </li>
1254
1255 <li>
1256
1257 &quot;Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.&quot;--Abraham Lincoln, statesman, US President (1809-1865)
1258 </li>
1259
1260 <li>
1261
1262 &quot;Never mistake motion for action.&quot;--Ernest Hemingway, writer, journalist (1899-1961)
1263 </li>
1264
1265 <li>
1266
1267 &quot;The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing.&nbsp; If you can fake that, you've got it made.&quot;--Groucho Marx
1268 </li>
1269
1270 <li>
1271
1272 &quot;Love your enemies, for they tell you your faults.&quot;--Benjamin Franklin, statesman, philosopher, journalist (1706-1790)
1273 </li>
1274
1275 <li>
1276
1277 &quot;Pay attention to your enemies, for they are the first to discover your mistakes.&quot;--Antisthenes, Greek philosopher (ca 445- ca 365 BCE)
1278 </li>
1279
1280 <li>
1281
1282 &quot;Cannibals prefer those who have no spines.&quot;--Stanislaw Lem
1283 </li>
1284
1285 <li>
1286
1287 &quot;I was reading the dictionary.&nbsp; I thought it was a poem about everything.&quot;--Steven Wright, comedian (1955- ?)
1288 </li>
1289
1290 <li>
1291
1292 &quot;When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.&quot;--Mark Twain, writer, philosopher (1835-1910)
1293 </li>
1294
1295 <li>
1296
1297 &quot;The least initial deviation from the truth is multiplied later a thousand-fold.&quot;--Aristotle, philosopher (ca 384- ca 322 BCE)
1298 </li>
1299
1300 <li> &quot;I didn't know he was one of the first lawyers!&nbsp; The first human who hurled an insult instead of a stone was the founder of civilization.&quot;--Sigmund Freud, neurologist, founder of psychoanalysis (1856-1939)
1301 </li>
1302
1303 <li>
1304
1305 &quot;Trust in Allah, but tie your camel.&quot;--Arabic saying
1306 </li>
1307
1308 <li>
1309
1310 &quot;In the midst of great joy, do not promise anyone anything.&nbsp; In the midst of great anger, do not answer anyone's letter.&quot;--Chinese proverb
1311 </li>
1312
1313 <li>
1314
1315 &quot;It is not what we do, but also what we do not do, for which we are accountable.&quot;--Moliere, playwright (1622-1673)
1316 </li>
1317
1318 <li>
1319
1320 &quot;When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.&nbsp;
1321 But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1322 </li>
1323
1324 <li>
1325
1326 &quot;I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1327 </li>
1328
1329 <li>
1330
1331 &quot;Familiarity breeds contempt--and children.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1332 </li>
1333
1334 <li>&quot;Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1335 </li>
1336
1337 <li>
1338
1339 &quot;The past may not repeat itself, but it sure does rhyme.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1340 </li>
1341
1342 <li>
1343
1344 &quot;I have no color prejudices nor caste prejudices nor creed prejudices.&nbsp;
1345 All I care to know is that a man is a human being, and that is enough for me; he can't be any worse.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1346 </li>
1347
1348 <li>
1349
1350 &quot;Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1351 </li>
1352
1353 <li>
1354
1355 &quot;Duct tape is like the force.&nbsp; It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe
1356 together ...&quot;--Carl Zwanzig
1357 </li>
1358
1359 <li>
1360
1361 &quot;Be careful of reading health books, you might die of a misprint.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1362 </li>
1363
1364 <li>
1365
1366 &quot;There are three kinds of lies:&nbsp; lies, damn lies, and statistics.&quot;--Mark Twain (1835-1910)
1367 </li>
1368
1369 <li>
1370
1371 &quot;In America, anybody can be president.&nbsp; That's one of the risks you take.&quot;--Adlai Stevenson, statesman (1900-1965)
1372 </li>
1373
1374 <li>
1375
1376 &quot;There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.&quot;--Frank Zappa
1377 </li>
1378
1379 <li>
1380
1381 &quot;Black holes are where God divided by zero.&quot;--Steven Wright, comedian (1955- ?)
1382 </li>
1383
1384 <li>
1385
1386 &quot;If you believe everything you read, better not read.&quot;--Japanese proverb
1387 </li>
1388
1389 <li>
1390
1391 &quot;A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.&quot;--Oscar Wilde, writer (1854-1900)
1392 </li>
1393
1394 <li>
1395
1396 &quot;So you're the man who can't spell fuck.&quot;--Dorothy Parker to Norman Mailer (he had been convinced by his publisher to use "fug"
1397 instead) Poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
1398 </li>
1399
1400 <li>
1401
1402 &quot;You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think&quot;--Dorothy Parker - poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
1403 </li>
1404
1405 <li>
1406
1407 &quot;Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, philosopher (1835-1910)
1408 </li>
1409
1410 <li>
1411
1412 &quot;We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech.&quot;--Kathleen Dixon, Director of women's studies department, Bowling Green State Univ. on disallowing the teaching of a course on Political Correctness
1413 </li>
1414
1415 <li>
1416
1417 &quot;Give me ambiguity or give me something else.&quot;--Unattributed
1418 </li>
1419
1420 <li>
1421
1422 &quot;Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.&quot;--Soren Kierkegaard, philosopher, theologian (1813-1855)
1423 </li>
1424
1425 <li>
1426
1427 &quot;We are not retreating--we are advancing in another direction.&quot;--General Douglas MacArthur (1880-1964)
1428 </li>
1429
1430 <li>
1431
1432 &quot;Adults are obsolete children.&quot;--Dr. Seuss (1904-1991)
1433 </li>
1434
1435 <li>
1436
1437 &quot;The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.&quot;--James Branch Cabell
1438 </li>
1439
1440 <li>
1441
1442 &quot;It should be done with the same degree of alacrity and nonchalance that you would display in authorizing a highly intelligent trained bear to remove your appendix.&quot;--Dan Greenberg
1443 </li>
1444
1445 <li>
1446
1447 &quot;To keep your marriage brimming,
1448 With love in the loving cup,
1449 Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
1450 Whenever you're right, shut up.&quot;--Ogden Nash, poet (1902-1971)
1451 </li>
1452
1453 <li>
1454
1455 &quot;Having served on various committees, I have drawn up a list of rules:
1456 · Never arrive on time; this stamps you as a beginner.
1457 · Don't say anything until the meeting is half over; this stamps you as being wise.
1458 · Be as vague as possible; this avoids irritating the others.
1459 · When in doubt, suggest that a subcommittee be appointed.
1460 · Be the first to move for adjournment; this will make you popular; it's what everyone is waiting for.&quot;--Harry Chapman
1461 </li>
1462
1463 <li>
1464
1465 &quot;Take care of those who work for you and you'll float to greatness on their achievements.&quot;--H.S.M. Burns
1466 </li>
1467
1468 <li>
1469
1470 &quot;A remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he is really very good in spite of all the people who say he is very good.&quot;--Robert Graves
1471 </li>
1472
1473 <li>
1474
1475 &quot;Television has done much for psychiatry, by spreading information about it as well as contributing to the need for it.&quot;--Alfred Hitchcock
1476 </li>
1477
1478 <li>
1479
1480 &quot;The first principle is that you must not fool yourself--and you are the easiest person to fool.&quot;--Richard Feynman, physicist (1918-1988)
1481 </li>
1482
1483 <li>
1484
1485 &quot;What if this weren't a hypothetical question?&quot;--Unattributed
1486 </li>
1487
1488 <li>
1489
1490 &quot;Everywhere is walking distance ... if you have the time.&quot;--Steven Wright, comedian (1955- ?)
1491 </li>
1492
1493 <li>
1494
1495 &quot;He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.&quot;--Chinese proverb
1496 </li>
1497
1498 <li>
1499
1500 &quot;It is not enough to have a good mind.&nbsp; The main thing is to use it well.&quot;--Rene Descartes, mathematician, philosopher (1596-1650) in "Le Discours de la Methode," 1637
1501 </li>
1502
1503 <li>
1504
1505 &quot;Experience is the comb life gives you after you lose your hair.&quot;--Judith Stearn
1506 </li>
1507
1508 <li>
1509
1510 &quot;Life is pleasant.&nbsp; Death is peaceful.&nbsp; It's the transition that's troublesome.&quot;--Isaac
1511 Asimov, science-fiction writer (1920-1992)
1512 </li>
1513
1514 <li>
1515
1516 &quot;It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.&quot;--Mark Twain, author and humorist (1835-1910)
1517 </li>
1518
1519 <li>
1520
1521 &quot;It is criminal to steal a purse, daring to steal a fortune, a mark of greatness to steal a crown.&nbsp;
1522 The blame diminishes as the guilt increases.&quot;--Johan Christoph Friedrich von Schiller, poet and dramatist (1759-1805)
1523 </li>
1524
1525 <li>
1526
1527 &quot;There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.&quot;--Mary Little
1528 </li>
1529
1530 <li>
1531
1532 &quot;I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.&quot;--Mae West
1533 </li>
1534
1535 <li>
1536
1537 &quot;I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage.&nbsp;
1538 They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.&quot;--Rita
1539 Rudner, comedian
1540 </li>
1541
1542 <li>
1543
1544 &quot;I know I am among civilized men because they are fighting so savagely.&quot;--Voltaire, write (1694-1778)
1545 </li>
1546
1547 <li>
1548
1549 &quot;If it's fact, it ain't brag.&quot;--Dizzy Dean
1550 </li>
1551
1552 <li>
1553
1554 &quot;By all means marry.&nbsp; If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.&nbsp; If you get a bad one, you'll become a
1555 philosopher.&quot;--Socrates, philosopher, teacher (ca 470- ca 399 BCE)
1556 </li>
1557
1558 <li>
1559
1560 &quot;I think ... I think it's in my basement.&nbsp; Let me go upstairs and check.&quot;--M.C. Escher, artist (1898-1972)
1561 </li>
1562
1563 <li>
1564
1565 &quot;Children aren't happy without something to ignore.&nbsp; And that's what parents were created for.&quot;--Ogden Nash, poet (1902-1971)
1566 </li>
1567
1568 <li>
1569
1570 &quot;I find that principles have no real force except when one is well fed.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, humorist (1835-1910)
1571 </li>
1572
1573 <li>
1574
1575 &quot;Say not, 'I have found the truth,' but rather, 'I have found a truth.&quot;--Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931)
1576 </li>
1577
1578 <li>
1579
1580 &quot;A leader who keeps his ear to the ground allows his rear end to become a target.&quot;--Angie Papadakis
1581 </li>
1582
1583 <li>
1584
1585 &quot;Science is built with facts as a house is with stones--but a collection of facts is no more a science than a heap of stones is a house.&quot;--Jules Henry Poincare (1854-1912)
1586 </li>
1587
1588 <li>
1589
1590 &quot;Wit is educated insolence.&quot;--Aristotle, philosopher (ca 384- ca 322 BCE)
1591 </li>
1592
1593 <li>
1594
1595 &quot;As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.&quot;--Josh Billings
1596 </li>
1597
1598 <li>
1599
1600 &quot;A practical man is a man who practices the errors of his forefathers.&quot;--Lord Beaconsfield
1601 </li>
1602
1603 <li>
1604
1605 &quot;Teachers open the door, but you must enter by yourself.&quot;--Chinese Proverb
1606 </li>
1607
1608 <li>
1609
1610 &quot;Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence of fear.&quot;--
1611 Mark Twain, author, humorist (1835-1910)
1612 </li>
1613
1614 <li>
1615
1616 &quot;Pessimist:&nbsp; One who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both.&quot;--
1617 Oscar Wilde, writer, playwright (1854-1900)
1618 </li>
1619
1620 <li>
1621
1622 &quot;There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness'.&quot;--Dave Barry
1623 </li>
1624
1625 <li>
1626
1627 &quot;There is far more opportunity than there is ability.&quot;--Thomas Edison, inventor (1847-1931)
1628 </li>
1629
1630 <li>
1631
1632 &quot;A great deal of intelligence can be invested in ignorance when the need for illusion is deep.&quot;--Saul Belloe
1633 </li>
1634
1635 <li>
1636
1637 &quot;I have one share in corporate Earth, and I am nervous about the management.&quot;--E.B. White
1638 </li>
1639
1640 <li>
1641
1642 &quot;They called me mad, and I called them mad, and damn them, they outvoted me.&quot;--Nathaniel Lee (on being consigned to a mental institution, circa 17th c.)
1643 </li>
1644
1645 <li>
1646
1647 &quot;There are two ways to slide easily through life: to believe everything or to doubt everything; both ways save us from thinking.&quot;--Theodore Rubin
1648 </li>
1649
1650 <li>
1651
1652 &quot;When you want to test the depths of a stream, don't use both feet.&quot;--Chinese Proverb
1653 </li>
1654
1655 <li>
1656
1657 &quot;A man does not have to be an angel in order to be saint.&quot;--Albert Schweitzer, theologian, philosopher, missionary, physician (1875-1965)
1658 </li>
1659
1660 <li>
1661
1662 &quot;Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone.&quot;--Pablo Picasso, artist (1881-1973)
1663 </li>
1664
1665 <li>
1666
1667 &quot;There is a point beyond which even justice becomes unjust.&quot;--Sophocles, slave, philosopher, teacher (ca 495? - ca 406 BCE)
1668 </li>
1669
1670 <li>
1671
1672 &quot;Television is an invention whereby you can be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your house.&quot;--David Frost
1673 </li>
1674
1675 <li>
1676
1677 &quot;A child on the farm sees a plane fly overhead and dreams of a faraway place.&nbsp;
1678 A traveler on the plane sees the farmhouse and thinks of home.&quot;--Carl Burns
1679 </li>
1680
1681 <li>
1682
1683 &quot;If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are gone, either write things worth reading or do things worth writing.&quot;--Benjamin Franklin, author, statesman (1706-1790)
1684 </li>
1685
1686 <li>
1687
1688 &quot;Adolescence is a period of rapid changes.&nbsp; Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent ages 20 years.&quot;--Changing Times magazine
1689 </li>
1690
1691 <li>
1692
1693 &quot;In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice.&nbsp; But, in practice, there is.&quot;--Jan L.A. van de Snepscheut
1694 </li>
1695
1696 <li>
1697
1698 &quot;An education isn't how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know.&nbsp;
1699 It's being able to differentiate between what you know and what you don't.&quot;--Anatole France
1700 </li>
1701
1702 <li>
1703
1704 &quot;It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.&quot;--Aristotle, philosopher (ca 384- ca 322 BCE)
1705 </li>
1706
1707 <li>
1708
1709 &quot;Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.&quot;--Mark Twain, author, humorist (1835-1910)
1710 </li>
1711
1712 <li>
1713
1714 &quot;When you say that you agree to a thing in principle, you mean that you have not the slightest intention of carrying it out.&quot;--Otto von Bismarck, 1st chancellor of German Empire (1815-1898)
1715 </li>
1716
1717 <li>
1718
1719 &quot;There are two things that you should never see being made: sausage, and... a political deal.&quot;--Otto von Bismarck (paraphrased) , 1st chancellor of German Empire (1815-1898)
1720 </li>
1721
1722 <li>
1723
1724 &quot;Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.&quot;--Ralph Waldo Emerson, essayist, poet (1803-1882)
1725 </li>
1726
1727 <li>
1728
1729 &quot;Lottery:&nbsp; a tax on people who are bad at math.&quot;--Unattributed
1730 </li>
1731
1732 <li>
1733
1734 &quot;The best index to a person's character is how he treats people who can't do him any good, and how he treats people who can't fight back.&quot;--Abigail Van Buren
1735 </li>
1736
1737 <li>
1738
1739 &quot;Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.&quot;--Abraham Lincoln
1740 </li>
1741
1742 <li>
1743
1744 &quot;A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines.&nbsp;
1745 With consistency, a great soul has simply nothing to do.&quot;--Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 -1882)
1746 </li>
1747
1748 <li>
1749
1750 &quot;All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.&quot;--Mark Twain (1835 -1910)
1751 </li>
1752
1753 <li>
1754
1755 &quot;When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?&quot;--Robin Williams
1756 </li>
1757
1758 <li>
1759
1760 &quot;Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft--and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.&quot;--Werner von Braun, rocket engineer (1912-1977)
1761 </li>
1762
1763 </ul>
1764 <hr>
1765 <p><b><u><a name="hard_work"></a>Hard Work</u></b></p>
1766 <ul>
1767 <li>"The only place where <i>success</i> comes before <i>work</i> is in
1768 the dictionary."--Vidal Sassoon</li>
1769 </ul>
1770 <hr>
1771 <p><b><u><a name="hum_nat_soc_int"></a>Human Nature And Social Interactions</u></b></p>
1772 <ul>
1773 <li>"Anyone can be a barbarian; it requires a terrible effort to remain a
1774 civilized man."--Leonard Sidney Woolf</li>
1775 <li>"People start to diet when their stomachs stick out further than their
1776 dickiedoos."--Andy Sipowicz, \emph{NYPD Blue}.</li>
1777 <li>"Feeling guilty is one thing; looking guilty is something entirely
1778 different."--Dylan McCabe, \emph{Beverly Hills 90210}, airdate 04/00.</li>
1779 <li>"Unconfronted behavior will continue."--Unknown</li>
1780 <li>"It is easier to ask forgiveness than permission."--Unknown</li>
1781 <li>"How far you go in life, depends on your being Tender with the young,
1782 Compassionate with the Aged, Sympathetic with the Striving and Tolerant of the
1783 Weak and the Strong. Because, someday in life you will have been all of these."--George Washington Carver.</li>
1784 <li>"Simplicity of character is the natural result of profound thought."--From A Chinese Restaurant Fortune Cookie, 01/26/01
1785 </li>
1786 <li>"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds."--Ralph
1787 Waldo Emerson
1788 </li>
1789 </ul>
1790 <hr>
1791 <p><b><u><a name="histfig_napoleon"></a>Historical Figures, Napoleon</u></b></p>
1792 <ul>
1793 <li>&quot;[A]ny commander in chief who undertakes to carry out a plan which he
1794 considers defective is at fault; he must put forth his reasons, insist on the
1795 plan being changed, and finally tender his resignation rather than be the
1796 instrument of his army's downfall.&quot;--Napoleon</li>
1797 </ul>
1798 <hr>
1799 <p><b><u><a name="marriage_fav_manview"></a>Marriage (Favorable, From The Man's Point Of
1800 View)</u></b></p>
1801 <ul>
1802 <li>"A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that
1803 your wife will give you for free."--Anonymous</li>
1804 </ul>
1805 <hr>
1806 <p><b><u><a name="marriage_unfav_genderless"></a>Marriage (Unfavorable,
1807 Genderless)</u></b></p>
1808 <ul>
1809 <li>"Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement-ring, wedding-ring, suffer-ing.&quot;--Unknown</li>
1810 <li>"When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why. When a
1811 ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why."--Unknown</li>
1812 <li>"Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener."--Unknown</li>
1813 <li>"When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of
1814 one thing: either the car or the wife is new."--Unknown</li>
1815 </ul>
1816 <hr>
1817 <p><b><u><a name="marriage_unfav_manview"></a>Marriage (Unfavorable, From The Man's Point Of
1818 View)</u></b></p>
1819 <ul>
1820 <li>"Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not
1821 the only thing in life!"--Anonymous</li>
1822 <li>"An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she
1823 gets the more interested he is in her.&quot;--Agatha Christie</li>
1824 <li>"Bachelors should be heavily taxed.&nbsp; It is not fair that some men
1825 should be happier than others."--Oscar Wilde</li>
1826 <li>"Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper."--Scottish
1827 Proverb</li>
1828 <li>"I don't worry about terrorism.&nbsp; I was married for two years."--Sam
1829 Kinison</li>
1830 <li>"Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't,
1831 they'd be married too."--H. L. Mencken</li>
1832 <li>"Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later;
1833 for another thing, they die earlier."--H. L. Mencken</li>
1834 <li>"A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle."--U2</li>
1835 <li>"I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back."--Anonymous</li>
1836 <li>&quot;I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our
1837 anniversary?'&nbsp; She
1838 said, 'Somewhere I have never been!'&nbsp; I told her, 'How about the
1839 kitchen?'&quot;--Unknown</li>
1840 <li>"We always hold hands.&nbsp; If I let go, she shops."--Unknown</li>
1841 <li>"My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours.&nbsp; That was only for the estimate."--Unknown</li>
1842 <li>"She got a mudpack and looked great for two days.&nbsp; Then the mud fell off."--Unknown</li>
1843 <li>&quot;She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, 'Am I too late for the
1844 garbage?'&nbsp; Following her down the street I yelled, 'No, jump
1845 in!'&quot;--Unknown</li>
1846 <li>&quot;Badd Teddy recently explained to me why he refuses to ever get married.&nbsp;
1847 He said, 'the wedding rings look too much like minature handcuffs
1848 ...'&quot;--Unknown</li>
1849 <li>"If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at
1850 the front door, who do you let in first?&nbsp; The dog of course...!!!&nbsp; At least he'll
1851 shut up after you let him in!"--Unknown</li>
1852 <li>&quot;A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother
1853 and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man
1854 kneeling at a grave.&nbsp; The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and
1855 kept repeating,&nbsp; 'Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?'&nbsp; The first
1856 man approached him and said, 'Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private
1857 grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before.&nbsp; For
1858 whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?'&nbsp; The mourner took a moment to
1859 collect himself then replied, 'My wife's first husband.'&quot;--Unknown</li>
1860 <li>&quot;A couple came upon a wishing well.&nbsp; The husband leaned over, made a wish
1861 and threw in a penny.&nbsp; The wife decided to make a wish, too.&nbsp; But she leaned over
1862 too much; fell into the well and drowned.&nbsp; The husband was stunned for a while
1863 but smiled 'It really works!'&quot;--Unknown</li>
1864 <li>&quot;Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.&nbsp; After marriage,
1865 the 'y' becomes silent.&quot;--Unknown</li>
1866 </ul>
1867 <hr>
1868 <p><b><u><a name="microsoft"></a>Microsoft</u></b></p>
1869 <ul>
1870 <li>"Not using Microsoft products is like being a non-smoker 40 or 50
1871 years ago:&nbsp; you can choose not to smoke, yourself, but it's hard to avoid
1872 second-hand smoke."--M. Tiemann (from an e-mail footer belonging to
1873 Rick Moen--I do not know who M. Tiemann is)</li>
1874 <li>&quot;I sense much NT in you.&nbsp; NT leads to Bluescreen.&nbsp; Bluescreen
1875 leads to downtime.&nbsp; Downtime leads to suffering.&nbsp; NT is the path to the
1876 darkside.&nbsp; Powerful Unix is."--From an SSH mailing list post by <a href="mailto:lorenl@alzatex.com"> Loren
1877 Lang</a> in 12/2001.</li>
1878 <li>"The best way to accelerate a computer running Windows is at 9.8 m/sec<sup>2</sup>.&quot;--From an e-mail footer used by
1879 <a href="mailto:tlaane@lucent.com"> Thomas Laane</a> in 02/2002.</li>
1880 <li>&quot;Mr. Ballmer, Microsoft's chief executive, once referred to Linux's
1881 licensing as 'a cancer that attaches itself in an intellectual property sense to
1882 everything it touches.'&quot;--From a <a href="http://www.nytimes.com" target="_blank">New
1883 York Times</a> article by Thomas Fuller entitled <i>How Microsoft Warded Off Rival</i> on May 15,
1884 2003</li>
1885 <li>&quot;Failure is not an option, it comes bundled with your Microsoft
1886 product.&quot;--From an e-mail footer used by <a href="mailto:news@tux.com.au">Henry
1887 Phillips</a> in May, 2003</li>
1888
1889 <li>
1890
1891 &quot;
1892
1893 Who needs horror movies when we have Microsoft?&quot;-- Christine Comaford, PC Week, 27 Sep 1995
1894 </li>
1895
1896 <li>
1897
1898 &quot;
1899
1900 Where do you want to go today?&nbsp; It doesn't matter, you're coming with us.&quot;-- Microsoft
1901 </li>
1902
1903 </ul>
1904 <hr>
1905 <p><b><u><a name="old_age"></a>Old Age</u></b></p>
1906 <ul>
1907 <li>&quot;Inside every older person is a younger person--wondering what the hell
1908 happened.--Cora Harvey Armstrong.</li>
1909 <li>&quot;The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.&quot;--Helen Hayes (at
1910 73)</li>
1911 <li>&quot;I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.&quot;--Janette
1912 Barber</li>
1913 <li>&quot;Things are going to get a lot worse before they get
1914 worse.&quot;--Lily Tomlin</li>
1915 <li>&quot;A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.&quot;--Carrie
1916 Snow</li>
1917 <li>&quot;Old age ain't no place for sissies.&quot;--Bette Davis</li>
1918 <li>&quot;Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts
1919 falling apart.&quot;--Caryn Leschen</li>
1920 </ul>
1921 <hr>
1922 <p><b><u><a name="pets_cats"></a>Pets, Cats</u></b></p>
1923 <ul>
1924 <li>"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast."--Unknown</li>
1925 <li>"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods.&nbsp; Cats have never
1926 forgotten this."--Unknown</li>
1927 <li>"Cats are smarter than dogs.&nbsp; You can't get eight cats to pull a sled
1928 through snow."--Jeff Valdez</li>
1929 <li>"As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat."--Ellen Perry Berkeley</li>
1930 <li>"Dogs come when they are called; cats take a message and get back to
1931 you later."--Mary Bly</li>
1932 <li>"Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good
1933 many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia."--Joseph
1934 Wood Krutch</li>
1935 <li>"There are many intelligent species in the universe.&nbsp; They are all
1936 owned by cats."--Unknown</li>
1937 <li>"I have studied many philosophers and many cats.&nbsp; The wisdom of cats is
1938 infinitely superior.&quot;--Hippolyte Taine</li>
1939 <li>"Dogs believe they are human.&nbsp; Cats believe they are God."--Unknown</li>
1940 <li>"You can train a cat to do anything it wants to do."--Unknown</li>
1941 </ul>
1942 <hr>
1943 <p><b><u><a name="philo_aristotle"></a>Philosophers, Aristotle</u></b></p>
1944 <ul>
1945 <li>"It is best that laws should be so constructed as to leave as little
1946 as possible to the decision of those who judge."--Aristotle, <i>Rhetoric</i></li>
1947 <li>"We are what we repeatedly do.&nbsp; Excellence, then is not an act, but a habit."--Aristotle</li>
1948 <li>"Moral excellence comes about as a result of habit.&nbsp; We become just by
1949 doing just acts, temperate by doing temperate acts, brave by doing brave acts."--Aristotle</li>
1950 <li>"Happiness is the exercise of vital powers along lines of excellence,
1951 in a life affording them scope."--Aristotle</li>
1952 </ul>
1953 <hr>
1954 <p><b><u><a name="philo_henry_david_thoreau"></a>Philosophers, Henry David
1955 Thoreau</u></b></p>
1956 <ul>
1957 <li>"There is no rule more invariable than that we are paid for our
1958 suspicions by finding what we suspect."--Henry David Thoreau</li>
1959 </ul>
1960 <hr>
1961 <p><b><u><a name="police_and_law_enforcement"></a>Police And Law Enforcement</u></b></p>
1962 <ul>
1963 <li>"The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out
1964 after you wear them awhile."--From a humorous e-mail entitled <i>Funny
1965 Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1966 <li>"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."--From a humorous e-mail
1967 entitled <i>Funny
1968 Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1969 <li>"So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can
1970 write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"--From a humorous e-mail entitled <i>Funny
1971 Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1972 <li>"Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it
1973 will help.&nbsp; Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"--From a humorous
1974 e-mail entitled <i>Funny
1975 Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1976 <li>"Warning!&nbsp; You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that
1977 again or I'll give you another ticket."--From a humorous e-mail entitled <i>Funny
1978 Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1979 <li>"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk
1980 or not.&nbsp; Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"--From a humorous e-mail entitled <i>Funny
1981 Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1982 <li>"Yeah, we have a quota.&nbsp; Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."--From a humorous e-mail entitled
1983 <i>Funny
1984 Police Quotes</i> received
1985 around 04/08/00.</li>
1986 <li>"Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."--From a humorous
1987 e-mail entitled <i>Funny
1988 Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1989 <li>"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore.&nbsp; We used to have quotas, but now
1990 we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."--From a humorous e-mail
1991 entitled <i>Funny
1992 Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1993 <li>"Just how big were those two beers?"--From a humorous e-mail
1994 entitled <i>Funny
1995 Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1996 <li>"In God we trust, all others are suspects."--From a humorous e-mail
1997 entitled <i>Funny
1998 Police Quotes</i> received around 04/08/00.</li>
1999 </ul>
2000 <hr>
2001 <p><b><u><a name="politfig_winston_churchill"></a>Political Figures, Winston
2002 Churchill</u></b></p>
2003 <ul>
2004 <li>"True genius resides in the capacity for evaluation of uncertain,
2005 hazardous, and conflicting information."--Winston Churchill</li>
2006 </ul>
2007 <hr>
2008 <p><b><u><a name="polit_fig_bill_hilary_clinton"></a>Political Figures, Bill And Hilary
2009 Clinton</u></b></p>
2010 <ul>
2011 <li>"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We
2012 are the president."--Hillary Clinton (commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents)</li>
2013 </ul>
2014 <hr>
2015 <p><b><u><a name="politfig_al_gore"></a>Political Figures, Al Gore</u></b></p>
2016 <ul>
2017 <li>"Y'all know how I feel about Al Gore--he's as dull as sober
2018 missionary sex with someone you know.&quot;--<i>Saturday Night Live</i> comedian
2019 impersonating President Bill Clinton, broadcast date 04/01/00.</li>
2020 <li>"A zebra
2021 does not change its spots."--Al Gore</li>
2022 </ul>
2023 <hr>
2024 <p><b><u><a name="politfig_henry_kissinger"></a>Political Figures, Henry
2025 Kissinger</u></b></p>
2026 <ul>
2027 <li>"There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full."--Henry Kissinger</li>
2028 <li>"Even paranoid people have enemies."--Henry Kissinger</li>
2029 </ul>
2030 <hr>
2031 <p><b><u><a name="politfig_colin_powell"></a>Political Figures, Colin Powell</u></b></p>
2032 <ul>
2033 <li>"Being responsible sometimes means pissing people off."--Colin
2034 Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i>.</li>
2035 <li>"Being responsible sometimes means pissing people off.&nbsp; Good leadership
2036 involves responsibility to the welfare of the group, which means that some
2037 people will get angry at your actions and decisions.&nbsp; It's inevitable, if you're
2038 honorable.&nbsp; Trying to get everyone to like you is a sign of mediocrity: you'll
2039 avoid the tough decisions, you'll avoid confronting the people who need to be
2040 confronted, and you'll avoid offering differential rewards based on differential
2041 performance because some people might get upset.&nbsp; Ironically, by procrastinating
2042 on the difficult choices, by trying not to get anyone mad, and by treating
2043 everyone equally 'nicely' regardless of their contributions, you'll simply
2044 ensure that the only people you'll wind up angering are the most creative and
2045 productive people in the organization."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2046 presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2047 <li>"The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have
2048 stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help them or
2049 concluded that you do not care. Either case is a failure of leadership."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation,
2050 <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2051 <li>"The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have
2052 stopped leading them.&nbsp; They have either lost confidence that you can help them or
2053 concluded that you do not care.&nbsp; Either case is a failure of leadership.&nbsp;
2054 If this
2055 were a litmus test, the majority of CEOs would fail.&nbsp; One, they build so many
2056 barriers to upward communication that the very idea of someone lower in the
2057 hierarchy looking up to the leader for help is ludicrous.&nbsp; Two, the corporate
2058 culture they foster often defines asking for help as weakness or failure, so
2059 people cover up their gaps, and the organization suffers accordingly.&nbsp; Real
2060 leaders make themselves accessible and available.&nbsp; They show concern for the
2061 efforts and challenges faced by underlings, even as they demand high standards.&nbsp;
2062 Accordingly, they are more likely to create an environment where problem
2063 analysis replaces blame."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership
2064 Primer</i></li>
2065 <li>"Don't be buffaloed by experts and elites.&nbsp; Experts often possess more
2066 data than judgment. Elites can become so inbred that they produce hemophiliacs
2067 who bleed to death as soon as they are nicked by the real world."--Colin
2068 Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2069 <li>"Don't be buffaloed by experts and elites.&nbsp; Experts often possess more
2070 data than judgment.&nbsp; Elites can become so inbred that they produce hemophiliacs
2071 who bleed to death as soon as they are nicked by the real world.&nbsp; Small companies
2072 and start-ups don't have the time for analytically detached experts.&nbsp; They don't
2073 have the money to subsidize lofty elites, either.&nbsp; The president answers the
2074 phone and drives the truck when necessary; everyone on the payroll visibly
2075 produces and contributes to bottom-line results or they're history.&nbsp; But as
2076 companies get bigger, they often forget who 'brought them to the dance':&nbsp; things
2077 like all-hands involvement, egalitarianism, informality, market intimacy,
2078 daring, risk, speed, agility.&nbsp; Policies that emanate from ivory towers often have
2079 an adverse impact on the people out in the field who are fighting the wars or
2080 bringing in the revenues.&nbsp; Real leaders are vigilant, and combative, in the face
2081 of these trends."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership
2082 Primer</i></li>
2083 <li>"Don't be afraid to challenge the pros, even in their own backyard."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation,
2084 <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2085 <li>"Don't be afraid to challenge the pros, even in their own backyard.&nbsp; Learn from the pros, observe them, seek them out as mentors and partners.&nbsp;
2086 But
2087 remember that even the pros may have leveled out in terms of their learning and
2088 skills.&nbsp; Sometimes even the pros can become complacent and lazy.&nbsp; Leadership does
2089 not emerge from blind obedience to anyone.&nbsp; Xerox's Barry Rand was right on
2090 target when he warned his people that if you have a yes-man working for you, one
2091 of you is redundant.&nbsp; Good leadership encourages everyone's evolution."--Colin
2092 Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2093 <li>"Never neglect details.&nbsp; When everyone's mind is dulled or distracted
2094 the leader must be doubly vigilant."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2095 presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2096 <li>"Never neglect details.&nbsp; When everyone's mind is dulled or distracted
2097 the leader must be doubly vigilant."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2098 presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2099 <li>&quot;Strategy equals execution.&nbsp; All the
2100 great ideas and visions in the world are worthless if they can't be implemented
2101 rapidly and efficiently.&nbsp; Good leaders delegate and empower others liberally, but
2102 they pay attention to details, every day.&nbsp; (Think about supreme athletic coaches
2103 like Jimmy Johnson, Pat Riley and Tony La Russa).&nbsp; Bad ones, even those who fancy
2104 themselves as progressive 'visionaries', think they're somehow `above'
2105 operational details.&nbsp; Paradoxically, good leaders understand something else: an
2106 obsessive routine in carrying out the details begets conformity and complacency,
2107 which in turn dulls everyone's mind.&nbsp; That is why even as they pay attention to
2108 details, they continually encourage people to challenge the process.&nbsp; They
2109 implicitly understand the sentiment of CEO leaders like Quad Graphic's Harry
2110 Quadracchi, Oticon's Lars Kolind and the late Bill McGowan of MCI, who all
2111 independently asserted that the job of a leader is not to be the chief
2112 organizer, but the chief dis-organizer.&quot;--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2113 presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2114 <li>"You don't know what you can get away with until you try."--Colin
2115 Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2116 <li>"You don't know what you can get away with until you try.&nbsp; You know the
2117 expression, 'it's easier to get forgiveness than permission'.&nbsp; Well, it's true.
2118 Good leaders don't wait for official blessing to try things out. They're
2119 prudent, not reckless.&nbsp; But they also realize a fact of life in most
2120 organizations: if you ask enough people for permission, you'll inevitably come
2121 up against someone who believes his job is to say 'no'. So the moral is, don't
2122 ask.&nbsp; Less effective middle managers endorsed the sentiment, 'If I haven't
2123 explicitly been told <i>yes</i>, I can't do it', whereas the good ones believed,
2124 `If I haven't explicitly been told <i>no</i>, I can.'&nbsp; There's a world of
2125 difference between these two points of view."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2126 presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2127 <li>"Keep looking below surface appearances.&nbsp; Don't shrink from doing so
2128 (just) because you might not like what you find."--Colin Powell, from a
2129 PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2130 <li>"Keep looking below surface appearances.&nbsp; Don't shrink from doing so
2131 (just) because you might not like what you find. 'If it ain't broke, don't fix
2132 it' is the slogan of the complacent, the arrogant or the scared.&nbsp; It's an excuse
2133 for inaction, a call to non-arms.&nbsp; It's a mind-set that assumes (or hopes) that
2134 today's realities will continue tomorrow in a tidy, linear and predictable
2135 fashion.&nbsp; Pure fantasy.&nbsp; In this sort of culture, you won't find people who
2136 pro-actively take steps to solve problems as they emerge.&nbsp; Here's a little tip:
2137 don't invest in these companies."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2138 presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2139 <li>"Organization doesn't really accomplish anything.&nbsp; Plans don't
2140 accomplish anything, either.&nbsp; Theories of management don't much matter.&nbsp;
2141 Endeavors
2142 succeed or fail because of the people involved.&nbsp; Only by attracting the best
2143 people will you accomplish great deeds."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2144 presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2145 <li>"Organization doesn't really accomplish anything.&nbsp; Plans don't
2146 accomplish anything, either.&nbsp; Theories of management don't much matter.&nbsp;
2147 Endeavors
2148 succeed or fail because of the people involved.&nbsp; Only by attracting the best
2149 people will you accomplish great deeds.&nbsp; In a brain-based economy, your
2150 best assets are people.&nbsp; We've heard this expression so often that it's become
2151 trite.&nbsp; But how many leaders really 'walk the talk' with this stuff?&nbsp; Too often,
2152 people are assumed to be empty chess pieces to be moved around by grand viziers,
2153 which may explain why so many top managers immerse their calendar time in deal
2154 making, restructuring and the latest management fad.&nbsp; How many immerse themselves
2155 in the goal of creating an environment where the best, the brightest, the most
2156 creative are attracted, retained and, most importantly, unleashed?"--Colin
2157 Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2158 <li>"Organization charts and fancy titles count for next to nothing."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation,
2159 <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2160 <li>"Organization charts and fancy titles count for next to nothing.&nbsp; Organization charts are frozen, anachronistic photos in a work place that ought
2161 to be as dynamic as the external environment around you.&nbsp; If people really
2162 followed organization charts, companies would collapse.&nbsp; In well-run
2163 organizations, titles are also pretty meaningless.&nbsp; At best, they advertise some
2164 authority, an official status conferring the ability to give orders and induce
2165 obedience.&nbsp; But titles mean little in terms of real power, which is the capacity
2166 to influence and inspire.&nbsp; Have you ever noticed that people will personally
2167 commit to certain individuals who on paper (or on the organization chart)
2168 possess little authority, but instead possess pizzazz, drive, expertise, and
2169 genuine caring for teammates and products?&nbsp; On the flip side, non-leaders in
2170 management may be formally anointed with all the perks and frills associated
2171 with high positions, but they have little influence on others, apart from their
2172 ability to extract minimal compliance to minimal standards."--Colin Powell,
2173 from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2174 <li>"Never let your ego get so close to your position that when your
2175 position goes, your ego goes with it."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2176 presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2177 <li>"Never let your ego get so close to your position that when your
2178 position goes, your ego goes with it.&nbsp; Too often, change is stifled by people who
2179 cling to familiar turfs and job descriptions.&nbsp; One reason that even large
2180 organizations wither is that managers won't challenge old, comfortable ways of
2181 doing things.&nbsp; But real leaders understand that, nowadays, every one of our jobs
2182 is becoming obsolete.&nbsp; The proper response is to obsolete our activities before
2183 someone else does.&nbsp; Effective leaders create a climate where people's worth is
2184 determined by their willingness to learn new skills and grab new
2185 responsibilities, thus perpetually reinventing their jobs.&nbsp; The most important
2186 question in performance evaluation becomes not, 'How well did you perform your
2187 job since the last time we met?' but, 'How much did you change it?'--Colin
2188 Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2189 <li>"Fit no stereotypes.&nbsp; Don't chase the latest management fads.&nbsp; The
2190 situation dictates which approach best accomplishes the team's mission."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation,
2191 <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2192 <li>"Fit no stereotypes.&nbsp; Don't chase the latest management fads.&nbsp; The
2193 situation dictates which approach best accomplishes the team's mission.&nbsp; Flitting
2194 from fad to fad creates team confusion, reduces the leader's credibility, and
2195 drains organizational coffers.&nbsp; Blindly following a particular fad generates
2196 rigidity in thought and action.&nbsp; Sometimes speed to market is more important than
2197 total quality.&nbsp; Sometimes an unapologetic directive is more appropriate than
2198 participatory discussion.&nbsp; Some situations require the leader to hover closely;
2199 others require long, loose leashes.&nbsp; Leaders honor their core values, but they
2200 are flexible in how they execute them.&nbsp; They understand that management
2201 techniques are not magic mantras but simply tools to be reached for at the right
2202 times."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2203 <li>"Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier."--Colin Powell, from a
2204 PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2205 <li>"Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.&nbsp; The ripple effect of a
2206 leader's enthusiasm and optimism is awesome.&nbsp; So is the impact of cynicism and
2207 pessimism.&nbsp; Leaders who whine and blame engender those same behaviors among their
2208 colleagues.&nbsp; I am not talking about stoically accepting organizational stupidity
2209 and performance incompetence with a 'what, me worry?' smile.&nbsp; I am talking about
2210 a gung-ho attitude that says 'we can change things here, we can achieve awesome
2211 goals, we can be the best.'&nbsp; Spare me the grim litany of the 'realist', give me
2212 the unrealistic aspirations of the optimist any day."--Colin Powell, from a
2213 PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2214 <li>"Powell's Rules for Picking People:&nbsp; Look for intelligence and
2215 judgment, and most critically, a capacity to anticipate, to see around corners.&nbsp;
2216 Also look for loyalty, integrity, a high energy drive, a balanced ego, and the
2217 drive to get things done."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership
2218 Primer</i></li>
2219 <li>"Powell's Rules for Picking People:&nbsp; Look for intelligence and
2220 judgment, and most critically, a capacity to anticipate, to see around corners.&nbsp;
2221 Also look for loyalty, integrity, a high energy drive, a balanced ego, and the
2222 drive to get things done.&nbsp; How often do our recruitment and hiring processes tap
2223 into these attributes?&nbsp; More often than not, we ignore them in favor of length of
2224 resume, degrees and prior titles.&nbsp; A string of job descriptions a recruit held
2225 yesterday seem to be more important than who one is today, what they can
2226 contribute tomorrow, or how well their values mesh with those of the
2227 organization.&nbsp; You can train a bright, willing novice in the fundamentals of your
2228 business fairly readily, but it's a lot harder to train someone to have
2229 integrity, judgment, energy, balance, and the drive to get things done.&nbsp; Good
2230 leaders stack the deck in their favor right in the recruitment phase."--Colin
2231 Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2232 <li>"Great leaders are almost always great simplifiers, who can cut
2233 through argument, debate and doubt, to offer a solution everybody can
2234 understand."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership
2235 Primer</i></li>
2236 <li>"Great leaders are almost always great simplifiers, who can cut
2237 through argument, debate and doubt, to offer a solution everybody can
2238 understand.&nbsp; Effective leaders understand the KISS principle, Keep It Simple,
2239 Stupid.&nbsp; They articulate vivid, over-arching goals and values, which they use to
2240 drive daily behaviors and choices among competing alternatives.&nbsp; Their visions
2241 and priorities are lean and compelling, not cluttered and buzzword-laden.&nbsp; Their
2242 decisions are crisp and clear, not tentative and ambiguous.&nbsp; They convey an
2243 unwavering firmness and consistency in their actions, aligned with the picture
2244 of the future they paint.&nbsp; The result: clarity of purpose, credibility of
2245 leadership, and integrity in organization."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2246 presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2247 <li>"Part I:&nbsp; 'Use the formula P=40 to 70, in which P stands for the
2248 probability of success and the numbers indicate the percentage of information
2249 acquired.'&nbsp; Part II: 'Once the information is in the 40 to 70 range, go with your
2250 gut'."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2251 <li>"Part I:&nbsp; 'Use the formula P=40 to 70, in which P stands for the
2252 probability of success and the numbers indicate the percentage of information
2253 acquired.'&nbsp; Part II: 'Once the information is in the 40 to 70 range, go with your
2254 gut.'&nbsp; Don't take action if you have only enough information to give you less
2255 than a 40 percent chance of being right, but don't wait until you have enough
2256 facts to be 100 percent sure, because by then it is almost always too late.&nbsp;
2257 Today, excessive delays in the name of information-gathering breeds
2258 'analysis
2259 paralysis.'&nbsp; Procrastination in the name of reducing risk actually increases
2260 risk."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2261 <li>"The commander in the field is always right and the rear echelon is
2262 wrong, unless proved otherwise."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2263 presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2264 <li>"The commander in the field is always right and the rear echelon is
2265 wrong, unless proved otherwise.&nbsp; Too often, the reverse defines corporate
2266 culture.&nbsp; This is one of the main reasons why leaders like Ken Iverson of Nucor
2267 Steel, Percy Barnevik of Asea Brown Boveri, and Richard Branson of Virgin have
2268 kept their corporate staffs to a bare-bones minimum--how about fewer than 100
2269 central corporate staffers for global $30 billion-plus ABB?&nbsp; Or around 25 and
2270 3 for multi-billion Nucor and Virgin, respectively?&nbsp; Shift the power and the
2271 financial accountability to the folks who are bringing in the beans, not the
2272 ones who are counting or analyzing them."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint
2273 presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2274 <li>"Have fun in your command.&nbsp; Don't always run at a breakneck pace.&nbsp;
2275 Take
2276 leave when you've earned it:&nbsp; Spend time with your families.&nbsp; Corollary: surround
2277 yourself with people who take their work seriously, but not themselves, those
2278 who work hard and play hard."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership
2279 Primer</i></li>
2280 <li>"Have fun in your command.&nbsp; Don't always run at a breakneck pace.&nbsp;
2281 Take
2282 leave when you've earned it:&nbsp; Spend time with your families.&nbsp; Corollary: surround
2283 yourself with people who take their work seriously, but not themselves, those
2284 who work hard and play hard.&nbsp; Herb Kelleher of Southwest Air and Anita Roddick of
2285 The Body Shop would agree: seek people who have some balance in their lives, who
2286 are fun to hang out with, who like to laugh (at themselves, too) and who have
2287 some non-job priorities which they approach with the same passion that they do
2288 their work.&nbsp; Spare me the grim workaholic or the pompous pretentious
2289 'professional'; I'll help them find jobs with my competitor."--Colin Powell,
2290 from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2291 <li>"Command is lonely."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership
2292 Primer</i> (quote probably from Truman)</li>
2293 <li>"Command is lonely.&nbsp; Harry Truman was right.&nbsp; Whether you're a CEO or
2294 the temporary head of a project team, the buck stops here.&nbsp; You can encourage
2295 participative management and bottom-up employee involvement, but ultimately the
2296 essence of leadership is the willingness to make the tough, unambiguous choices
2297 that will have an impact on the fate of the organization.&nbsp; I've seen too many
2298 non-leaders flinch from this responsibility.&nbsp; Even as you create an informal,
2299 open, collaborative corporate culture, prepare to be lonely."--Colin Powell,
2300 from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i></li>
2301 <li>"Leadership is the art of accomplishing more than the science of
2302 management says is possible."--Colin Powell, from a PowerPoint presentation, <i>A Leadership
2303 Primer</i></li>
2304 </ul>
2305 <p><b><u>Note:</u></b>&nbsp; Colin Powell's presentation, <i>A Leadership Primer</i>,
2306 is available as a .ZIP'd PowerPoint presentation <a href="../../authindiv/dtashley/bad_management/powellonleadership.zip">here</a>.</p>
2307 <hr>
2308 <p><b><u><a name="politfig_dan_quayle"></a>Political Figures, Dan Quayle</u></b></p>
2309 <ul>
2310 <li>"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment.&nbsp; It's the
2311 impurities in our air and water that are doing it."--Former U.S.
2312 Vice-president Dan Quayle</li>
2313 <li>"I love California.&nbsp; I practically grew up in Phoenix."--Former U.S.
2314 Vice-president Dan Quayle</li>
2315 <li>"The loss of life will be irreplaceable."--Former U.S.
2316 Vice-president Dan Quayle</li>
2317 <li>"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have
2318 is that I didn't study my Latin harder in school so I could converse with those
2319 people."--Former U.S. Vice-president Dan Quayle</li>
2320 <li>"Hawaii is a unique state.&nbsp; It is a small state.&nbsp; It is a state that is
2321 by itself.&nbsp; It is different from the other 49 states.&nbsp; Well, all states are
2322 different, but it's got a particularly unique situation."--Former U.S.
2323 Vice-president Dan Quayle</li>
2324 </ul>
2325 <hr>
2326 <p><b><u><a name="politfig_ronald_reagan"></a>Political Figures, Ronald Reagan</u></b></p>
2327 <ul>
2328 <li>"I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked
2329 like if Moses had run them through the U.S. Congress."--Former U.S. President
2330 Ronald Reagan</li>
2331 </ul>
2332 <hr>
2333 <p><b><u><a name="polit_polit_doubletalk"></a>Politics, Political Doubletalk,
2334 Doubletalk</u></b></p>
2335 <ul>
2336 <li>"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of
2337 people."--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor</li>
2338 <li>"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."--Keppel
2339 Enderbery</li>
2340 <li>"If you let that sort of thing go on, your bread and butter will be
2341 cut right out from under your feet."--Former British foreign minister, Ernest
2342 Bevin</li>
2343 <li>"I have opinions of my own ... strong opinions ... but I don't always
2344 agree with them."--George Bush, former U.S President</li>
2345 <li>"We have to pause and ask ourselves how much clean air do we need?"--Lee
2346 Iacocca, former CEO, Chrysler Corp</li>
2347 <li>"I was provided with additional input that was radically different
2348 from the truth.&nbsp; I assisted in furthering that version."--Colonel Oliver North,
2349 from his Iran-Contra testimony</li>
2350 <li>"I haven't committed a crime.&nbsp; What I did was fail to comply with the
2351 law."--David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, (answering accusations that he
2352 failed to pay his taxes)</li>
2353 <li>"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates
2354 in the country."--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC</li>
2355 <li>"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."--Former French
2356 President Charles De Gaulle</li>
2357 <li>"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass,
2358 and I'm just the one to do it."--A congressional candidate in Texas</li>
2359 </ul>
2360 <hr>
2361 <p><b><u><a name="religion"></a>Religion</u></b></p>
2362 <ul>
2363 <li>"Absolute faith corrupts as absolutely as absolute power."--Eric Hoffer (1902 - 1983)
2364 </li>
2365 <li>"I contend we are both atheists, I just believe in one fewer god than you do.&nbsp;
2366 When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss
2367 yours."-- Stephen F. Roberts
2368 </li>
2369 <li>"It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save
2370 us."--Peter De Vries, novelist (1910-1993)
2371 </li>
2372 <li>"There are only two kinds of men: the righteous who believe themselves sinners;
2373 and the sinners who believe themselves righteous.--Blaise Pascal, philosopher and mathematician (1623-1662)
2374 </li>
2375 <li>"Moral certainty is always a sign of cultural inferiority.&nbsp; The more uncivilized the man,
2376 the surer he is that he knows precisely what is right and what is wrong.&nbsp;
2377 All human progress, even in morals, has been the work of men who have doubted the current moral values,
2378 not of men who have whooped them up and tried to enforce them.&nbsp; The truly civilized man is
2379 always skeptical and tolerant, in this field as in all others.&nbsp; His culture is based on
2380 'I am not too sure.'"-- H.L.Mencken, author (1880 - 1956)
2381 </li>
2382 <li>"Conceit is God's gift to little men."--Bruce Barton
2383 </li>
2384 <li>"To surrender to ignorance and call it God has always been premature, and it
2385 remains premature today."-- Isaac Asimov, author (1920 - 1992)
2386 </li>
2387 <li>"With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil
2388 things.&nbsp; But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion."-- Steven Weinberg (1933 - ),
2389 quoted in The New York Times, April 20, 1999
2390 </li>
2391 <li>"A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes."--James Feibleman
2392 </li>
2393 <li>"A superstition is a premature explanation that overstays its time."--George Iles
2394 </li>
2395 <li>"The divinity of Jesus is made a convenient cover for absurdity.&nbsp; Nowhere in the Gospels do we
2396 find a precept for Creeds, Confessions, Oaths, Doctrines, and whole carloads of other
2397 foolish trumpery that we find in Christianity."--John Adams (1735 -1826)
2398 </li>
2399 <li>"I do not find in orthodox Christianity one redeeming feature."--Thomas Jefferson (1743 -1826)
2400 </li>
2401 <li>"I have recently been examining all the known superstitions of the world, and do not find in
2402 our particular superstition (Christianity) one redeeming feature.&nbsp; They are all alike
2403 founded on fables and mythology."--Thomas Jefferson (1743 -1826)
2404 </li>
2405 <li>"The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being as his Father,
2406 in the womb of a virgin will be classified with the fable of the generation
2407 of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter.&nbsp; But we may hope that the dawn of reason
2408 and freedom of thought in these United States will do away with this
2409 artificial scaffolding and restore to us the primitive and genuine doctrines
2410 of this most venerated Reformer of human errors."--Thomas Jefferson (1743 -1826)
2411 </li>
2412 <li>"The Bible is not my book, and Christianity is not my religion.&nbsp; I could never give
2413 assent to the long, complicated statements of Christian
2414 dogma."--Abraham Lincoln (1809 -1865)
2415 </li>
2416 <li>"As to Jesus of Nazareth ... I think the system of Morals and his Religion,
2417 as he left them to us, the best the World ever saw or is likely to see; but I apprehend it
2418 has received various corrupting Changes, and I have, with most of the present
2419 Dissenters in England, some doubts as to his divinity."--Benjamin Franklin (1706 -1790)
2420 </li>
2421 <li>"The study of theology, as it stands in the Christian churches, is the study of nothing;
2422 it is founded on nothing; it rests on no principles; it proceeds by no authority; it has no data;
2423 it can demonstrate nothing; and it admits of no conclusion."--Thomas Paine (1737 -1809)
2424 </li>
2425 <li>"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason,
2426 and intellect has intended us to forgo their use."--Galileo Galilei, physicist and astronomer (1564-1642)
2427 </li>
2428 <li>"There was a time when religion ruled the world.&nbsp; It is known as the Dark
2429 Ages."--Ruth Hermence Green
2430 </li>
2431 <li>"We are taught to believe that there's an invisible man who lives in the sky,
2432 who has a list of 10 things he doesn't want you to do,
2433 who watches you every minute of every day, and if you do something he doesn't like,
2434 he's going to send you to a burning lake of fire ... forever.&nbsp; But He loves you.--George Carlin
2435 </li>
2436 <li>"To teach superstitions as truth is a most terrible thing."--Hypatia
2437 </li>
2438 <li>"If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it
2439 to."--Dorothy Parker - poet, short-story writer, theater critic and screenwriter (1893-1967)
2440 </li>
2441 <li>"I read the whole of the Bible, and apply common sense to it.&nbsp; Sorry to be so boring.&nbsp;
2442 Something which is said several thousand times (e.g. God is worried about the poor)
2443 I regard as more important than something which is said once (e.g. God thinks being gay
2444 incurs ritual pollution) or never (e.g. God doesn't approve of abortion).&nbsp; If
2445 I understand them correctly, the fundamentalists take the opposite approach:
2446 abortion is the most important issue, homosexuality the second most important,
2447 and feeding the poor doesn't matter at all."--Andrew Rilstone (Andrew@aslan.demon.co.uk)
2448 </li>
2449 <li>"Had I been present at the creation, I would have given some useful hints for the better
2450 ordering of the universe."--Alphonso the Wise (1221-1284)
2451 </li>
2452 <li>"What religion are you afflicted with?"--Unknown
2453 </li>
2454 <li>"Morality is the best of all devices for leading mankind by the nose."--Frederick Nietzsche, philosopher (1844-1900)
2455 </li>
2456 <li>"Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious
2457 conviction."--Blaise Pascal, philosopher, mathematician (1623-1662)
2458 </li>
2459 <li>"I do not pretend to be able to prove that there is no God.&nbsp; I equally cannot
2460 prove that Satan is a fiction.&nbsp; The Christian God may exist; so
2461 may the Gods of Olympus, or of ancient Egypt, or of Babylon.&nbsp; But no one of these
2462 hypotheses is more probable than any other: they lie outside the
2463 region of probable knowledge, and therefore there is no reason to consider any of
2464 them."--Lord Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)
2465 </li>
2466 <li>"The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose."--William Shakespeare, poet and dramatist (1564-1616)
2467 </li>
2468 <li>"Religion is an insult to human dignity.&nbsp; With or without it, you'd have good people doing
2469 good things and evil people doing bad things, but for good people to do bad things, it takes
2470 religion."--Steven Weinberg, physicist, Nobel Laureate (1933-)
2471 </li>
2472 <li>"Man is a marvelous curiosity ... he thinks he is the Creator's pet; he even believes the Creator loves him;
2473 has a passion for him; sits up nights to admire him; yes and watch over him and keep him out of
2474 trouble.&nbsp; He prays to him and thinks He listens.&nbsp; Isn't it a quaint idea."--Mark Twain,
2475 author and humorist (1835-1910)
2476 </li>
2477 <li>"One of the proofs of the immortality of the soul is that myriads have believed in
2478 it.&nbsp; They have also believed the world was flat."--Mark Twain, author and humorist (1835-1910)
2479 </li>
2480 <li>"I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious - unless
2481 he purposely shut the eyes of his mind and keep them shut by
2482 force."--Mark Twain, author and humorist (1835-1910)
2483 </li>
2484 <li>"Irreverence is another person's disrespect to your god; there isn't any word that tells what your
2485 disrespect to his god is."--Mark Twain, author and humorist (1835-1910)
2486 </li>
2487 <li>"I believe in God, only I spell it Nature."--Frank Lloyd Wright, architect (1867-1959)
2488 </li>
2489 <li>"We are all atheists about most of the gods that humanity has ever believed in.&nbsp; Some
2490 of us just go one god further."--Richard Dawkins, biologist, author, philosopher (1941-)
2491 </li>
2492 <li>"My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed."-Christopher Morley, writer (1890-1957)
2493 </li>
2494 <li>"So many gods, so many creeds, So many paths that wind and wind, While just the art of being kind is
2495 all the sad world needs."--Ella Wheeler Wilcox, poet (1850-1919)
2496 </li>
2497 <li>"No sooner had Jesus knocked over the dragon of superstition that Paul boldly set it on it's legs
2498 again in the name of Jesus."--George Bernard Shaw, writer, Nobel laureate (1856-1950)
2499 </li>
2500 <li>"If God created us in his own image, we have more than reciprocated."--Voltaire, philosopher (1694-1778)
2501 </li>
2502 <li>"If the gods listened to the prayers of men, all humankind would quickly perish since they constantly
2503 pray for many evils to befall one another."--Epicurus, philosopher (c. 341-270 BCE)
2504 </li>
2505 <li>"Nothing is more dreaded than the national government meddling with religion."--John Adams (1797-1801)
2506 </li>
2507 <li>"Faith is the great cop-out, the great excuse to evade the need to think and evaluate evidence.&nbsp; Faith
2508 is belief in spite of, even perhaps because of, the lack of evidence."--Richard Dawkins, biologist, author, philosopher (1941-)
2509 </li>
2510 <li>"Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy."--H. L. Mencken, author (1880 - 1956)
2511 </li>
2512 <li>"Faith is a cop-out.&nbsp; If the only way you can accept an assertion is by faith,
2513 then you are conceding that it can't be taken on its own merits."--Dan Barker, "Losing Faith in Faith", 1992
2514 </li>
2515 <li>"If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?"--Unattributed
2516 </li>
2517 </ul>
2518 <hr>
2519 <p><b><u><a name="sci_mat_marie_curie"></a>Scientists And Mathematicians, Marie
2520 Curie</u></b></p>
2521 <ul>
2522 <li>&quot;Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be
2523 understood.&quot;--Marie Curie</li>
2524 </ul>
2525 <hr>
2526 <p><b><u><a name="sci_mat_edsger_dijkstra"></a>Scientists And Mathematicians, Edsger
2527 Dijkstra</u></b></p>
2528 <ul>
2529 <li>&quot;The question of whether computers can think is just
2530 like the question of whether submarines can swim.&quot;--Edsger W. Dijkstra</li>
2531 </ul>
2532 <hr>
2533 <p><b><u><a name="sci_mat_albert_einstein"></a>Scientists And Mathematicians, Albert
2534 Einstein</u></b></p>
2535 <ul>
2536 <li>&quot;We are all very ignorant, but not all ignorant of the same
2537 things.&quot;--Albert Einstein</li>
2538 <li>"Thus I came -- despite the fact that I was the son of entirely irreligious (Jewish) parents --
2539 to a deep religiosity, which, however, found an abrupt ending at the age of 12.&nbsp; Through the
2540 reading of popular scientific books I soon reached the conviction that much in the stories
2541 of the bible could not be true.&nbsp; The consequence was a positively fanatic
2542 [orgy of] freethinking coupled with the impression that youth is intentionally
2543 being deceived by the state through lies; it was a crushing impression.&nbsp; Suspicion against every
2544 kind of authority grew out of this experience, a skeptical attitude towards the
2545 convictions which were alive in any specific social environment .... I cannot conceive
2546 of a personal God who would directly influence the actions of individuals ..."-- Albert Einstein,
2547 physicist (1879-1955) - August, 1927 -- Einstein Archive 48-380
2548 </li>
2549 <li>"Science without religion is lame.&nbsp; Religion without science is blind."-Albert Einstein, physicist (1879-1955)
2550 at Science, Philosophy and Religion: a Symposium, 1941
2551 </li>
2552
2553 <li>
2554
2555 &quot;
2556
2557 Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.&quot;-- Albert Einstein, physicist (1879 - 1955)
2558 </li>
2559
2560 <li>
2561
2562 &quot;There are only two truly infinite things, the universe and stupidity.&nbsp;
2563 And I am unsure about the universe.&quot;--Albert Einstein, physicist (1879-1955)
2564 </li>
2565
2566 <li>
2567
2568 &quot;What terrifies us is not the explosive force of the atomic bomb, but the power of the wickedness of the human heart.&quot;--Albert Einstein, physicist (1879-1955)
2569 </li>
2570
2571 <li>
2572
2573 &quot;It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.&quot;--Albert Einstein, physicist (1879-1955)
2574 </li>
2575
2576 <li>
2577
2578 &quot;The more I study physics, the more I am drawn to metaphysics.&quot;--Albert Einstein,
2579 physicist (1879-1955)
2580 </li>
2581
2582 <li>
2583
2584 &quot;Definition of Insanity:&nbsp; Endlessly repeating the same process, hoping for a different result."--Albert Einstein
2585 </li>
2586
2587 <li>
2588
2589 &quot;Make things as simple as possible, but not simpler.&quot;--Albert Einstein, physicist (1879-1955)
2590 </li>
2591
2592 <li>
2593
2594 &quot;Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.&quot;--Albert Einstein, physicist (1879-1955)
2595 </li>
2596
2597 </ul>
2598 <hr>
2599 <p><b><u><a name="sci_mat_gh_hardy"></a>Scientists And Mathematicians, G.H.
2600 Hardy</u></b></p>
2601 <ul>
2602 <li>&quot;It is never worth a first class man's time to express a majority
2603 opinion.&nbsp; By definition, there are plenty of others to do that.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2604 <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2605 <li>&quot;For any serious purpose, intelligence is a very minor gift.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2606 <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2607 <li>&quot;Young men ought to be conceited:&nbsp; but they oughtn't to be
2608 imbecile."--G.H. Hardy (according to C.P. Snow in the foreword of <i>A
2609 Mathematician's Apology</i>, said after someone had tried to
2610 convince Hardy that <i>Finnegans Wake</i> was the final literary masterpiece.)</li>
2611 <li>&quot;Sometimes one has to say difficult things, but one ought to say them
2612 as simply as one knows how.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2613 <li>&quot;Statesmen despise publicists, painters despise art-critics, and
2614 physiologists, physicists, or mathematicians have usually similar feelings;
2615 there is no scorn more profound, or on the whole more justifiable, than that of
2616 the men who make for the men who explain.&nbsp; Exposition, criticism, appreciation,
2617 is work for second-rate minds.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2618 <li>&quot;... There is no one so stupid as to use this sort of language
2619 about mathematics.&nbsp; The mass of mathematical truth is obvious and imposing; its
2620 practical applications, the bridges and the steam engines and dynamos, obtrude
2621 themselves on the dullest imagination.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's
2622 Apology</i></li>
2623 <li>&quot;... Some egotism of this sort is inevitable, and I do not feel
2624 that it really needs justification.&nbsp; Good work is not done by 'humble' men.&nbsp;
2625 It is
2626 one of the first duties of a professor, for example, in any subject, to
2627 exaggerate a little both the importance of his subject and his own importance in
2628 it.&nbsp; A man who is always asking 'Is what I do worth while?' and 'Am I the right
2629 person to do it?' will always be ineffective himself and a discouragement to
2630 others.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2631 <li>&quot;... I am not suggesting that this is a defence which can be made
2632 by most people, since most people can do nothing at all well.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2633 <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2634 <li>&quot;... If a man has any genuine talent, he should be ready to make
2635 almost any sacrifice in order to cultivate it to the full.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A
2636 Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2637 <li>&quot;No mathematician should ever allow himself to forget that
2638 mathematics, more than any other art or science, is a young man's game.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2639 <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2640 <li>&quot;I do not know an instance of a major mathematical advance initiated
2641 by a man past fifty.&nbsp; If a man of mature age loses interest in and abandons
2642 mathematics, the loss is not likely to be very serious either for mathematics or
2643 for himself.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2644 <li>&quot;It is quite true that most people can do nothing well.&nbsp; If so, it
2645 matters very little what career they choose, and there is really nothing more to
2646 say about it.&nbsp; It is a conclusive reply, but hardly one likely to be made by a
2647 man with any pride; and I may assume that none of us would be content with
2648 it.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2649 <li>&quot;(Speaking with respect to mathematical achievement) ... What we
2650 do may be small, but it has a certain character of permanence; and to have
2651 produced anything of the slightest permanent interest, whether it be a copy of
2652 verses or a geometrical theorem, is to have done something utterly beyond the
2653 powers of the vast majority of men.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's
2654 Apology</i></li>
2655 <li>&quot;(Speaking with respect to mathematical achievement) ... In these
2656 days of conflict between ancient and modern studies, there must surely be
2657 something to be said for a study which did not begin with Pythagoras, and
2658 will not end with Einstein, but is the oldest and the youngest of
2659 all.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2660 <li>&quot;A man's first duty, a young man's at any rate, is to be
2661 ambitious.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2662 <li>&quot;... We must guard against a fallacy common apologists of
2663 science, the fallacy of supposing that the men whose work benefits humanity are
2664 thinking much of that while they do it ... There are many highly
2665 respectable motives that may lead men to prosecute research, but there are three
2666 which are much more important than the rest.&nbsp; The first (without which the rest
2667 must come to nothing) is intellectual curiosity, desire to know the truth.&nbsp;
2668 Then,
2669 professional pride, anxiety to be satisfied with one's performance, the shame
2670 that overcomes any self-respecting craftsman when his work is unworthy of his
2671 talent.&nbsp; Finally, ambition, desire for reputation, and the position, even the
2672 power or the money, which it brings.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's
2673 Apology</i></li>
2674 <li>&quot;If intellectual curiosity, professional pride, and ambition are the
2675 dominant incentives to research, then assuredly no one has a fairer chance of
2676 gratifying them then a mathematician.&nbsp; His subject is the most curious of
2677 all--there is none in which truth plays such odd pranks.&nbsp; It has the most
2678 elaborate and the most fascinating technique, and gives unrivalled openings for
2679 the display of sheer professional skill.&nbsp; Finally, as history proves abundantly,
2680 mathematical achievement, whatever its intrinsic worth, is the most enduring of
2681 all.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2682 <li>&quot;<i>Immortality</i> may be a silly word, but probably a mathematician
2683 has the best chance of whatever it may mean.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A
2684 Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2685 <li>&quot;... Farey is immortal because he failed to understand a theorem
2686 which Haros had proved perfectly fourteen years before ... But on the whole
2687 the history of science is fair, and this is particularly true in mathematics ...
2688 and the men who are remembered are almost always the men who merit
2689 it.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, pp. 81-82, citing instances
2690 where mathematical history was inaccurate</li>
2691 <li>&quot;It is sometimes suggested, by lawyers or politicians or business
2692 men, that an academic career is one sought mainly by cautious and
2693 unambitious persons who care primarily for comfort and security.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2694 <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p.82</li>
2695 <li>&quot;A mathematician, like a painter or a poet, is a maker of patterns.&nbsp;
2696 If
2697 his patterns are more permanent than theirs, it is because they are made with <i>ideas</i>.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2698 <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p.84</li>
2699 <li>&quot;... Beauty is the first test: there is no permanent place in the
2700 world for ugly mathematics.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p.85</li>
2701 <li>&quot;It may be very hard to <i>define</i> mathematical beauty, but that is
2702 just as true of beauty of any kind--we may not know quite what we mean by a
2703 beautiful poem, but that does not prevent us from recognizing one when we read
2704 it.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i></li>
2705 <li>&quot;There are, to be sure, individuals for whom mathematics exercises a
2706 coldly impersonal attraction ...&nbsp; The aesthetic appeal of mathematics may be
2707 very real for a chosen few.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, quoting
2708 Hogben, p. 86</li>
2709 <li>&quot;The seriousness of a theorem, of course, does not <i>lie in</i> its
2710 consequences, which are merely the <i>evidence</i> for its seriousness.&nbsp; Shakespeare had an enormous influence on the development of the English
2711 language, Otway next to none, but that is not why Shakespeare was the better
2712 poet.&nbsp; He was the better poet because he wrote much better poetry.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2713 <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p.90</li>
2714 <li>&quot;The number of primes less than 1,000,000,000 is 50,847,478:&nbsp; that is
2715 enough for an engineer, and he can be perfectly happy without the rest.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2716 <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p.102</li>
2717 <li>&quot;Some measure of generality must be present in any high-class theorem,
2718 but <i>too much</i> tends inevitably towards insipidity.&nbsp; 'Everything is what it
2719 is, and not another thing', and the differences between things are quite as
2720 interesting as their resemblances.&nbsp; We do not choose our friends because they
2721 embody all the pleasant qualities of humanity, but because they are the people
2722 that they are.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p. 109</li>
2723 <li>&quot;It seems that mathematical ideas are arranged somehow in strata, the
2724 ideas in each stratum being linked by a complex of relations both among
2725 themselves and with those above and below.&nbsp; The lower the stratum, the deeper
2726 (and in general the more difficult) the idea.&nbsp; Thus the idea of an
2727 'irrational'
2728 is deeper than that of an integer ...&nbsp; Let us concentrate our attention on
2729 the relations between the integers, or some other group of objects lying in some
2730 particular stratum.&nbsp; Then it may happen that one of these relations can be
2731 comprehended completely, that we can recognize and prove, for example, some
2732 property of the integers, without any knowledge of the contents of lower strata
2733 ...&nbsp; But there are also many theorems about integers which we cannot
2734 appreciate properly, and still less prove, without digging deeper and
2735 considering what happens below.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, pp. 110-111</li>
2736 <li>&quot;We do not want many 'variations' in the proof of a mathematical
2737 theorem:&nbsp; 'enumeration of cases', indeed, is one of the duller forms of
2738 mathematical argument.&nbsp; A mathematical proof should resemble a simple and
2739 clear-cut constellation, not a scattered cluster in the Milky Way.&quot;--G.H. Hardy,
2740 <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p. 113</li>
2741 <li>&quot;It is sometimes suggested that pure mathematicians glory in the
2742 uselessness of their work, and make it a boast that it has no practical
2743 applications.&nbsp; The imputation is usually based on an incautious saying attributed
2744 to Gauss, to the effect that, if mathematics is the queen of the sciences, the
2745 the theory of numbers is, because of its supreme uselessness, the queen of
2746 mathematics--I have never been able to find an exact quotation.&nbsp; I am sure that
2747 Gauss's saying (if indeed it be his) has been rather crudely misinterpreted.&nbsp;
2748 If
2749 the theory of numbers could be employed for any practical and obviously
2750 honourable purpose, if it could be turned directly to the furtherance of human
2751 happiness of the relief of human suffering, as physiology and even chemistry
2752 can, the surely neither Gauss nor any other mathematician would have been so
2753 foolish as to decry or regret such applications.&nbsp; But science works for evil as
2754 well as for good (and particularly, of course in time of war); and both Gauss
2755 and lesser mathematicians may be justified in rejoicing that there is one
2756 science at any rate, and that their own, whose very remoteness from ordinary
2757 human activities should keep it gentle and clean.&quot;G.H. Hardy, <i>A
2758 Mathematician's Apology</i>, pp. 120-121</li>
2759 <li>&quot;I began by saying that there is probably less difference between the
2760 positions of a mathematician and of a physicist than is generally supposed, and
2761 that the most important seems to me to be this, that the mathematician is in
2762 much more direct contact with reality ... mathematical objects are so much
2763 more what they seem.&nbsp; A chair or a star is not in the least like what it seems to
2764 be; the more we think of it, the fuzzier its outlines become in the haze of
2765 sensation which surround it; but '2' or '317' has nothing to do with sensation,
2766 and its properties stand out the more clearly the more closely we scrutinize
2767 it.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, pp. 128-130</li>
2768 <li>&quot;It is the dull and elementary parts of applied mathematics, as it is
2769 the dull and elementary parts of pure mathematics, that work for good or ill.&nbsp;
2770 Time may change all this.&nbsp; No one foresaw the applications of matrices and groups
2771 and other purely mathematical theories to modern physics, and it may be that
2772 some of the 'highbrow' applied mathematics will become 'useful' in as unexpected
2773 a way;&nbsp; but the evidence so far points to the conclusion that, in one subject as
2774 in the other, it is what is commonplace and dull that counts for practical
2775 life.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p.132. (Written
2776 around 1940, this was an uncanny precursor to nuclear weaponry.)</li>
2777 <li>&quot;There is one comforting conclusion which is easy for a real
2778 mathematician.&nbsp; Real mathematics has no effects on war.&nbsp; No one has yet discovered
2779 any warlike purpose to be served by the theory of numbers or relativity, and it
2780 seems unlikely that anyone will do so for many years.&nbsp; It is true that there are
2781 branches of applied mathematics, such as ballistics and aerodynamics, which have
2782 been developed deliberately for war and demand a quite elaborate technique: it
2783 is perhaps hard to call them 'trivial', but none of them has any claim to rank
2784 as 'real'.&nbsp; They are indeed repulsively ugly and intolerably dull; even
2785 Littlewood could not make ballistics respectable, and if he could not who
2786 can?&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p. 140. (Written
2787 around 1940, this was an uncanny precursor to nuclear weaponry.&nbsp; Also, Snow
2788 writes in the foreword, pp. 39-40, &quot;Hardy's close friends were away at the
2789 war.&nbsp; Littlewood was doing ballistics as a Second Lieutenant in the Royal
2790 Artillery.&nbsp; Owing to his cheerful indifference he had the distinction of
2791 remaining a Second Lieutenant through the four years of the war.&quot;)</li>
2792 <li>&quot;... there are two sharply contrasted views about modern
2793 scientific war.&nbsp; The first and the most obvious is that the effect of science on
2794 war is merely to magnify its horror, both by increasing the sufferings of the
2795 minority who have to fight and by extending them to other classes.&nbsp; This is the
2796 most natural and the orthodox view.&nbsp; But there is a very different view which
2797 seems also quite tenable, and which has been stated with great force by Haldane
2798 in <i>Callinicus</i>.&nbsp; It can be maintained that modern warfare is <i>less</i>
2799 horrible than the warfare of pre-scientific times;&nbsp; the bombs are probably more
2800 merciful than bayonets;&nbsp; that lachrymatory gas and mustard gas are perhaps the
2801 most humane weapons yet devised by military science;&nbsp; and that the orthodox view
2802 rests solely on loose-thinking sentimentalism.&nbsp; It may also be urged (although
2803 this was not one of Haldane's theses) that the equalization of risks which
2804 science was expected to bring would be in the long run salutary;&nbsp; that a
2805 civilian's wife is not worth more than a soldier's, nor a woman's more than a
2806 man's;&nbsp; that anything is better than the concentration of savagery on one
2807 particular class;&nbsp; and that, in short, the sooner the war comes 'all out' the
2808 better.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p. 142</li>
2809 <li>&quot;When the world is mad, a mathematician may find in mathematics an
2810 incomparable anodyne.&nbsp; For mathematics is, of all the arts and sciences, the most
2811 austere and the most remote, and a mathematician should be for all men the one
2812 who can most easily take refuge where, as Bertrand Russell says, 'one at least
2813 of our nobler impulese can best escape from the dreary exile of the actual
2814 world'.&nbsp; It is a pity that is should be necessary to make one very serious
2815 reservation--he must not be too old.&nbsp; Mathematics is not a contemplative but a
2816 creative subject; no one can draw much consolation from it when he has lost the
2817 power or the desire to create; and that is apt to happen to a mathematician
2818 rather soon.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p. 143</li>
2819 <li>&quot;I cannot remember ever having wanted to be anything but a
2820 mathematician.&nbsp; I suppose that it was always clear that my specific abilities lay
2821 that way, and it never occurred to me to question the verdict of my elders.&nbsp;
2822 I do
2823 not remember having felt, as a boy, any <i>passion</i> for mathematics, and such
2824 notions as I may have had of the career of a mathematician were far from noble.&nbsp;
2825 I thought of mathematics in terms of examinations and scholarships:&nbsp; I wanted to
2826 beat other boys, and this seemed to be the way in which I could do so most
2827 decisively.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p. 144</li>
2828 <li>&quot;I had of course found at school, as every future mathematician does,
2829 that I could often do things much better than my teachers; and even at Cambridge
2830 I found, though naturally much less frequently, that I could sometimes do things
2831 better than the College lecturers.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's
2832 Apology</i>, p. 146-147</li>
2833 <li>&quot;It is plain now that my life, for what it is worth, is finished, and
2834 that nothing I can do can perceptibly increase or diminish its value.&nbsp; It is very
2835 difficult to be dispassionate, but I count it as a 'success';&nbsp; I have had more
2836 reward and not less than was due to a man of my particular grade of ability.&nbsp;
2837 I have held a series of comfortable and 'dignified' positions.&nbsp; I have had very
2838 little trouble with the duller routine of universities.&nbsp; I hate 'teaching', and
2839 have had to do very little, such teaching as I have done having been almost
2840 entirely supervision of research;&nbsp; I love lecturing, and have lectured a great
2841 deal to extremely able classes;&nbsp; and I have always had plenty of leisure for the
2842 researches which have been the one great permanent happiness of my life.&nbsp; I have
2843 found it easy to work with others, and have collaborated on a large scale with
2844 two exceptional mathematicians; and this has enabled me to add to mathematics a
2845 good deal more than I could reasonably have expected.&nbsp; I have had my
2846 disappointments, like any other mathematician, but none of them has been too
2847 serious or has made me particularly unhappy.&nbsp; If I had been offered a life
2848 neither better nor worse when I was twenty, I would have accepted without
2849 hesitation.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's Apology</i>, p. 149</li>
2850 <li>&quot;My choice was right, then, if what I wanted was a reasonably
2851 comfortable and happy life.&nbsp; But solicitors and stockbrokers and bookmakers often
2852 lead comfortable and happy lives, and it is very difficult to see how the world
2853 is richer for their existence.&nbsp; Is there any sense in which I can claim that my
2854 life has been less futile than theirs?&nbsp; It seems to me again that there is only
2855 one possible answer: yes, perhaps, but, if so, for one reason only.&nbsp; I have never
2856 done anything 'useful'.&nbsp; No discovery of mine has made, or is likely to make,
2857 directly or indirectly, for good or ill, the least difference to the amenity of
2858 the world.&nbsp; I have helped to train other mathematicians, but mathematicians of
2859 the same kind as myself, and their work has been, so far at any rate as I have
2860 helped them to it, as useless as my own.&nbsp; Judged by all practical standards, the
2861 value of my mathematical life is nil; and outside mathematics it is trivial
2862 anyhow.&nbsp; I have just one chance of escaping a verdict of complete triviality,
2863 that I may be judged to have created something worth creating.&nbsp; And that I have
2864 created something is undeniable: the question is about its value.&nbsp; The case for
2865 my life, then, or for that of any one else who has been a mathematician in the
2866 same sense in which I have been one, is this: that I have added something to
2867 knowledge, and helped others to add more; and that these somethings have a value
2868 which differs in degree only, and not in kind, from that of the creations of the
2869 great mathematicians, or of any of the other artists, great or small, who have
2870 left some kind of memorial behind them.&quot;--G.H. Hardy, <i>A Mathematician's
2871 Apology</i>, pp. 150-151</li>
2872 </ul>
2873 <p><b><u>Note:</u></b>&nbsp; As of May 11, 2003, Hardy's book, <i>A
2874 Mathematician's Apology</i>, is <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0521427061/qid=1052633115/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/102-8561334-0224108?v=glance&amp;s=books">available
2875 new from Amazon</a> for $11.90.&nbsp; Also as of May 11, 2003, there are <a href="http://half.ebay.com/cat/buy/prod.cgi?cpid=2943234&amp;meta_id=1">5
2876 copies available at Half.com</a> for as low as $6.12.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p>
2877 <hr>
2878 <p><b><u><a name="sci_mat_james_s_harris"></a>Scientists And Mathematicians, James S.
2879 Harris</u></b></p>
2880 <ul>
2881 <li>&quot;My peers are Gauss and Euler, not ANY of you.&quot;--James S. Harris, as
2882 the <i> SUBJ</i> field in a <i>sci.math</i> newsgroup post dated July 4, 2002</li>
2883 </ul>
2884 <hr>
2885 <p><b><u><a name="sci_mat_bertrand_russell"></a>Scientists And Mathematicians, Bertrand
2886 Russell</u></b></p>
2887 <ul>
2888 <li>&quot;One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief
2889 that one's work is terribly important.&quot;--Bertrand Russell</li>
2890 </ul>
2891 <hr>
2892 <p><b><u><a name="sci_mat_carl_sagan"></a>Scientists And Mathematicians, Carl
2893 Sagan</u></b></p>
2894 <ul>
2895 <li>&quot;One of the great commandments of science is:&nbsp; 'Mistrust arguments from
2896 authority.'&quot;--Carl Sagan</li>
2897 <li>&quot;Look again at that dot.&nbsp; That's here.&nbsp; That's home.&nbsp; That's us.&nbsp;
2898 On it
2899 everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human
2900 being who ever was, lived out their lives.&nbsp; The aggregate of our joy and
2901 suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines,
2902 every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of
2903 civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother
2904 and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every
2905 corrupt politician, every 'superstar', every 'supreme leader', every saint and
2906 sinner in the history of our species lived here--on a mote of dust suspended in
2907 a sunbeam.&quot;--Carl Sagan, precise source unknown</li>
2908 <li>&quot;The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena.&nbsp; Think of the rivers
2909 of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and
2910 triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot.&nbsp; Think
2911 of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel
2912 on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent
2913 their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent
2914 their hatreds.&quot;--Carl Sagan, precise source unknown</li>
2915 <li>&quot;Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some
2916 privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light.&nbsp;
2917 Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark.&nbsp; In our
2918 obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from
2919 elsewhere to save us from ourselves.&quot;--Carl Sagan, precise source unknown</li>
2920 <li>&quot;The Earth is the only world known so far to harbor life.&nbsp; There is nowhere
2921 else, at least not in the near future, to which our species could migrate.&nbsp;
2922 Visit, yes.&nbsp; Settle, not yet.&nbsp; Like it or not, for the moment the Earth is where we
2923 make our stand.&quot;--Carl Sagan, precise source unknown</li>
2924 <li>&quot;It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building
2925 experience.&nbsp; There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human
2926 conceits than this distant image of our tiny world.&nbsp; To me, it underscores our
2927 responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish
2928 the pale blue dot, the only home we've ever known."--Carl Sagan, <i>Pale
2929 Blue Dot</i>, publication details unknown</li>
2930
2931 <li>
2932
2933 &quot;
2934
2935 If you wish to make an apple pie truly from scratch, you must first invent the universe.&quot;-- Carl
2936 Sagan, astronomer, author (1934-1996)
2937 </li>
2938
2939 </ul>
2940 <hr>
2941 <p><b><u><a name="software_software_engineering_etc"></a>Software, Software Engineering,
2942 Etc.</u></b></p>
2943 <ul>
2944 <li>&quot;Can
2945 someone give a hint on how many lines of code a programmer can produce a day?&nbsp;
2946 I
2947 know that this depends on the language, etc., but I'm most interested in C/C++.&nbsp;
2948 On my most productive single day, the program I was working on had 3000 fewer
2949 lines than it did when I started.&quot;--quote which Dan Parks got from a newsgroup, source
2950 unknown</li>
2951 <li>&quot;A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved
2952 from a simple system that worked ... A complex system designed from scratch
2953 never works and cannot be patched up to make it work.&nbsp; You have to start over,
2954 beginning with a working simple system.&quot;--Grady Booch</li>
2955 <li>&quot;The trouble with many Software Engineering principles and methodologies
2956 is they don't concentrate on doing the time-consuming, difficult and error-prone
2957 process of getting the system requirements straightened out--instead relying on
2958 'well defined procedures' which are easy to specify, but don't help
2959 much when trying to understand what a system needs to accomplish--or more
2960 importantly, coaxing a non-technical project lead to devote his/her resources to
2961 spending time with the users.&quot;--Unknown</li>
2962 <li>&quot;I've been developing systems of varying complexity since 1990 and have yet to
2963 hear of a software engineering methodology which improves significantly on the
2964 basic principle of studying what the user needs, organizing it, adapting to
2965 change and implementing--usually in combination.&nbsp; UML isn't much more than a
2966 notational change to the entity/relationship/&quot;flowcharting&quot;/whatever we did a decade ago.&nbsp;
2967 The
2968 CASE tools have marginally improved since, but not markedly.&nbsp; But thats only my
2969 take on it ... no doubt I'm part of the problem.--Unknown</li>
2970 <li>&quot;Frankly, I figure the SEI rating stuff has a half-life of about 4 years, its
2971 got 5 or 6 more before it falls into the dustbin of antiquity.&nbsp; But, its in good
2972 company with TQM and all the other philosophies which aren't dealing with the
2973 hard problems.--<i>Possibly</i> from a book by Steve McConnell entitled <i>After
2974 The Gold Rush</i>, but probably from a review of the book.&nbsp; This quote forwarded to
2975 me by Dan Parks in November 2000.</li>
2976 <li>&quot;You can measure a programmer's perspective by noting his attitude on
2977 the continuing viability of FORTRAN.&quot;--Alan Perlis</li>
2978 <li>&quot;The bitterness of poor quality remains long after the sweetness of
2979 meeting the schedule has been forgotten.&quot;--Anonymous</li>
2980 <li>&quot;Requirements are like water. They're easier to build on when they're
2981 frozen.&quot;--Anonymous</li>
2982 <li>&quot;Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for
2983 the rest of your life.&quot;--Michael Sinz</li>
2984 <li>&quot;Bugs lurk in corners and congregate at boundaries.&quot;--Boris
2985 Beizer, <i>Software Testing Techniques</i></li>
2986 <li>&quot;In programming, it's often the 'buts' in the specification that kill
2987 you.&quot;--Boris Beizer, <i>Software Testing Techniques</i></li>
2988 <li>&quot;Poor management can increase software costs more rapidly than any
2989 other factor.&quot;--Barry Boehm</li>
2990 <li>&quot;It should be noted that no ethically-trained software engineer would
2991 ever consent to write a 'DestroyBaghdad' procedure.&nbsp; Basic professional ethics
2992 would instead require him to write a 'DestroyCity' procedure, to which 'Baghdad'
2993 could be given as a parameter.&quot;--Nathaniel S. Borenstein</li>
2994 <li>&quot;The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts
2995 agree, is by accident.&nbsp; That's where we come in; we're computer professionals.&nbsp;
2996 We
2997 cause accidents.&quot;--Nathaniel S. Borenstein</li>
2998 <li>&quot;Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a
2999 feature.&quot;--Bruce Brown</li>
3000 <li>&quot;The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a
3001 programmer is doing until it's too late.&quot;--Seymour Cray</li>
3002 <li>&quot;There are two ways of constructing a software design:&nbsp; One way is to
3003 make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is
3004 to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies.&nbsp; The first
3005 method is far more difficult.&quot;--C. A. R. Hoare</li>
3006 <li>&quot;Premature optimization is the root of all evil in
3007 programming.&quot;--C.
3008 A. R. Hoare</li>
3009 <li>&quot;Programming can be fun, so can cryptography; however they should not
3010 be combined.&quot;--Kreitzberg and Shneiderman</li>
3011 <li>&quot;The only thing more frightening than a programmer with a screwdriver
3012 or a hardware engineer with a program is a user with a pair of wire cutters and
3013 the root password.&quot;--Elizabeth Zwicky</li>
3014 <li>&quot;Programming without an overall architecture or design in mind is like
3015 exploring a cave with only a flashlight:&nbsp; you don't know where you've been, you
3016 don't know where you're going, and you don't know quite where you
3017 are.&quot;--Danny
3018 Thorpe</li>
3019 <li>&quot;Act in haste and repent at leisure; code too soon and debug
3020 forever.&quot;--Raymond Kennington</li>
3021 <li>&quot;At some point you have to decide whether you're going to be a
3022 politician or an engineer.&nbsp; You cannot be both.&nbsp; To be a politician is to champion
3023 perception over reality.&nbsp; To be an engineer is to make perception subservient to
3024 reality.&nbsp; They are opposites.&nbsp; You can't do both
3025 simultaneously.&quot;--H. W. Kenton</li>
3026 <li>&quot;'Don't fix it if it ain't broke' presupposed that you can't improve
3027 something that works reasonably well already.&nbsp; If the world's inventors had
3028 believed this, we'd still be driving Model A Fords and using
3029 outhouses.&quot;--H.
3030 W. Kenton</li>
3031 <li>&quot;There has never been an unexpectedly short debugging period in the
3032 history of computers.&quot;--Steven Levy</li>
3033 <li>&quot;An interactive debugger is an outstanding example of what is not
3034 needed--it encourages trial-and-error hacking rather than systematic design,
3035 and also hides marginal people barely qualified for precision
3036 programming.&quot;--Harald
3037 Mills</li>
3038 <li>&quot;We try to solve the problem by rushing through the design process so
3039 that enough time is left at the end of the project to uncover the errors that
3040 were made because we rushed through the design process.&quot;--Glenford J. Myers</li>
3041
3042 <li>
3043
3044 &quot;
3045
3046 Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.&quot;-- Frederick P. Brooks, Jr. [The Mythical Man-Month]
3047 </li>
3048
3049 <li>
3050
3051 &quot;
3052
3053 Hofstadter's Law:&nbsp; The time and effort required to complete a project are always more than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.&quot;
3054 </li>
3055
3056 </ul>
3057 <hr>
3058 <p><b><u><a name="sports_and_sports_figures"></a>Sports And Sports Figures</u></b></p>
3059 <ul>
3060 <li>&quot;Big names don't make me weak in the knees.&quot;--Taylor Dent</li>
3061 <li>&quot;The word <i>genius</i> isn't applicable in football.&nbsp; A genius is a
3062 guy like Norman Einstein.&quot;--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback and sports
3063 analyst</li>
3064 <li>&quot;I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my
3065 body.&quot;--Winston Bennett, Univ. of Kentucky basketball forward</li>
3066 <li>&quot;We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.&quot;--Jason Kidd,
3067 upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks</li>
3068 <li>&quot;... the genes almost always accurately reproduce.&nbsp; If they don't,
3069 you get one of the following results:&nbsp; One, monsters--that is, grossly malformed
3070 babies resulting from genetic mistakes.&nbsp; Years ago most monsters died, but now
3071 many can be saved.&nbsp; That has made possible the National Football League."--Cecil
3072 Adams</li>
3073 <li>&quot;Half this game is ninety percent mental.&quot;--Philadelphia Phillies
3074 manager Danny Ozark</li>
3075 </ul>
3076 <hr>
3077 <p><b><u><a name="unpl_wk_sit_bad_bosses_etc"></a>Unpleasant Work Situations, Bad Bosses,
3078 Etc.</u></b></p>
3079 <ul>
3080 <li>&quot;If you're unfortunate enough to have co-workers, you must learn how
3081 to manage them.&nbsp; Otherwise, like so many wildebeests on the plains of the
3082 Serengeti, they will be bumping into you, drinking from your water hole, and
3083 generally kicking up a lot of dust.&nbsp; That will cut into your
3084 happiness.&quot;--Scott
3085 Adams, <i>The Joy Of Work</i>.</li>
3086 <li>&quot;If you can decrease the unpleasantness that you experience at work,
3087 it's almost the same as giving yourself a raise.&quot;--Scott Adams, <i>The Joy
3088 Of Work</i>.</li>
3089 <li>&quot;I have yet to find the man, however exalted his station, who did not
3090 do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than
3091 under a spirit of criticism.&quot;--Charles M. Schwab</li>
3092 </ul>
3093 <hr>
3094 <p><b><u><a name="acknowledgements"></a>Acknowledgements</u></b></p>
3095 <p>Special thanks to Pinar Kondu, Lou Miller, Daniel R. Parks, Jim
3096 Weinfurther and Marilyn A. Ashley
3097 for quotes.</p>
3098 <hr>
3099 <p align="center" style="margin-top: -2; margin-bottom: -1"><font size="1">This
3100 web page is maintained by <a href="mailto:dtashley@users.sourceforge.net">David
3101 T. Ashley</a>.&nbsp; (All donations to this page are welcome, just <a href="mailto:dtashley@users.sourceforge.net">e-mail</a>
3102 them to me.)<br>
3103 Sound
3104 credit: <i>As Good As It Gets</i>.<br>$Header: /cvsroot/esrg/sfesrg/esrgweba/htdocs/devels/quote_farm/quote_farm.htm,v 1.16 2004/04/06 22:32:19 dtashley Exp $</font></p>
3105 <hr noshade size="5">
3106 </body>
3107
3108 </html>

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